Chapter 108 Chapter One Hundred And Eight
No. No, I couldn't do this. It wasn’t right, no matter how good it felt.
I shoved him hard, using all my strength until he stumbled back a step, more from surprise than force.
I darted to the opposite side of the cell, putting as much distance between us as possible, which wasn't much.
Jace smirked, leaning back against the bars. "What? Don't want to leave anymore?"
I mumbled a curse under my breath, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Speak up, princess." He pushed off the bars, stalking toward me again like a predator towards prey. "I can't hear you when you mumble, and you know how much I like your pretty voice."
I backed up until I hit the wall but he kept coming.
"Why didn't you travel like you said you would?" I asked softly, glaring at the ground and refusing to look at him.
Jace stopped right in front of me, close enough that I had to tilt my head back just to meet his eyes.
"I could never leave you behind," he said quietly.
"I was being stubborn about it, trying to prove a point. But then I realized I'd be leaving you alone with Noah, and I couldn't—" His jaw clenched. "I couldn't fucking do it."
His thumb brushed across my lower lip, smudging what was left of my lip gloss.
Then he brought it to his own mouth and licked it off, his eyes never leaving mine.
My breath caught and I looked away again, trying not to melt from embarrassment.
"You're asking to get beat up again at this rate," I whispered.
"For you, Lena?" His hand cupped my face, tilting it up so he could gaze into my eyes. "Anything."
I blinked up at him, my resolve crumbling. "Anything? Do you really mean that?"
Instead of answering, he kissed me. He kissed me deep and hungry and all-consuming, as he'd been starving for weeks and I was the first meal he'd seen.
His tongue swept into my mouth when I gasped, claiming, possessing, erasing every thought except Jace, Jace, Jace.
I kissed him back just as desperately, my hands fisting in his shirt, pulling him closer even though we were already pressed together.
When we finally broke apart, both breathing hard, he rested his forehead against mine.
"Another guy bought you this dress," Jace said, his voice dark with possession. "And now I'm going to take it off you."
We were so close, touching everywhere. His hands were on my thighs now, pushing the already short dress higher up, exposing my hips. His fingers traced patterns on bare skin that made me shiver.
One hand slid to my ass, gripping hard and the other traced up my side, over my ribs, dangerously close to my breasts.
"Ask whatever you want that'll bring you back into my arms," he murmured against my lips. "Ask and it's yours."
His fingers found the zipper at my back and it took every ounce of self-control I possessed to grab his wrist and stop him before he took me right there in that jail cell.
"Then I want you to apologize to Noah."
Jace went completely still, then he released me so abruptly that I stumbled.
"Fuck that." He paced to the other side of the cell like a caged animal. "No! No fucking way. Absolutely anything but that."
I folded my arms, lifting my chin stubbornly. "You know you shouldn't have hit him. You started it, and he was only trying to protect me. You're just too jealous for your own good."
"There's a higher chance of me hiking all the way to Thailand to become a monk than apologizing to that bastard."
"Neither of you will tell me why you hate each other so much!" My voice rose with frustration. "I don't understand any of this! Why can't you both just get along!”
"It's not important." Jace stopped pacing, his eyes intense on mine. "I'll tell you when the time is right. Not now."
"Then when?"
"When you're not wearing another guy's clothes. When you're not defending him over me. When you actually do as you’re told and stay with me instead of—"
"That's not the only apology you owe, you know." I cut him off. "You're so hell-bent on getting what you want that you never stop to consider anyone else.”
I sighed deeply, hoping maybe he would see reason “That's why you think you can hurt people; Noah, Allison, your family, even me, as long as it gets you what you want. And you have to make amends for that, Jace. One way or another.”
Pain flashed across Jace's face. "It's much deeper than that and you know it."
He moved toward me again, reaching out for me, but I forced myself to step back. "You're just too selfish. That's why it'll never work between us."
"Lena—"
"I have this dark feeling sometimes—" My voice cracked. "Somewhere in my chest, whenever I think about you. That if you finally do succeed and get me completely, even that won't be enough. You'll always need a new conquest. Something to fight over. Someone to chase."
I looked up at him, tears finally spilling over.
"You go too fast for me, Jace. I can't keep up. And I'm tired of trying."
Jace's expression crumpled. "That's not… I can fix it, Lena. Just give me a chance to try—"
Suddenly the cell door rattled and we both turned.
An officer stood there, keys in hand, squinting suspiciously at us. "Jace Dawson? Your mother's here to bail you out. Come on, it’s time to go."
Jace looked at the officer, then back at me.
For a moment I thought he might refuse, that maybe he might choose to stay here with me and keep me company till daybreak instead of walking out.
But then his expression went blank.
"Yeah," he said, his voice flat. “Coming.”
The officer unlocked the door and Jace walked toward it.
But before he crossed to the other side, he paused in the doorway.
He looked back at me one more time. “This isn't over," he said quietly. Then he was gone.
And I was alone again in the cold fluorescent light, my lips still swollen from kissing a boy who would never be mine.
This time, with no one to stop them, the tears flowed freely.
Because despite everything, despite the lies and the fighting and the impossibility of it all…
I wanted him to come back