Chapter 26 I've Missed This
April
I am lying in bed with Corbin. Corran left not too long ago. We are on our sides, facing one another. He smiles and reaches in, his gentle touch on my cheek, one I crave so badly. One I wish felt more real, more human. I should be thankful he is here, and I am.
“How are you doing, my beautiful angel? I know there has been a lot going on.”
“I am doing okay. I miss you. I feel like you are around less and less.”
Corbin shakes his head. “I am around, you just don’t see me, not when Corran is around.”
“I want you around, though and by that I mean, I want to be able to see you, touch you.”
“It is okay to split your time between Corran and me, angel. He can give you things, do things with you or for you that I can’t.”
I raise my brow at him. “What does that even mean?”
Corbin laughs and kisses me softly. “I don’t mean it in the way you think. I just mean you can go out for meals with him, have fun with him. You and your dirty mind.”
I slap his arm playfully. “I do not have a dirty mind,” I whine.
“Yes, you do. You have a very dirty mind.”
He is right about that, but my dirty mind has only been for Corbin, not anyone else.
“Maybe, but only for you.” I laugh.
“Are you sure about that? I have been around, remember? You have had some of those thoughts regarding Corran. He has had the same ones about you, too.” He replies with a smirk.
“I have not! He has not! Stop!” I huff and roll my eyes.
“You are a terrible liar. I have said it before, and I will say it again. The two of you could help one another out. Both of you must be gagging for it. Sex with no strings attached.”
I sigh, shake my head and sit up. “We aren’t getting into this, Corbin, not again. Stop trying to encourage it. I am tired of it.”
I am tired of the same conversation over and over again. I don’t want to spend our night talking about Corran. If I wanted tonight to be about Corran, I would have asked him to stay longer.
Corbin holds his hands up. “Okay, I am sorry. I will drop it.”
“Thank you. Tonight is about us spending some time together. It isn’t about Corran.”
He nods. I lie back down so we are close again. “I love you, beautiful.”
I close my eyes and smile, savouring his words. “I love you too.”
“We should get some rest. You need to rest.”
Corbin kisses me softly. I keep the lamp on. I always do if he is next to me. When I turn it off, I worry he will disappear into the dark, and this has been nothing but a dream. I can sleep with the light on if he is here. If he isn’t, I need the room to be in complete darkness. I close my eyes, staying close to him. He sings gently to me. It helps me sleep. He has done it since the first ever night we shared a bed. It became a comfort for me. I drift off easily. I always do when he is next to me. I will sleep peacefully.
“Sweet dreams, my beautiful wife. I love you.”
Those are the last words I hear before I fall asleep. Words, I don’t ever want to stop hearing. To the rest of the world, I am a widow. In here, just with the two of us, I am still a wife. I am still Corbin’s wife, and he is still my husband. I don’t care what everyone else thinks and believes. All that matters is what we think. I won’t ever stop being his wife.
I wake to Corbin whispering in my ear. “Hey, beautiful, it is time to wake up and start your day.”
I groan and shake my head. “No, I am sleeping.” I protest.
He chuckles. “You need to, Corran is at your front door.”
“Hmm, what? What time is it?”
“Corran is knocking on your door. It is eight.”
I groan again. I have no reason to be up at this time. I want to enjoy the remainder of my long lies before I return to work because once I do that, it will be back to getting up at six in the morning and not returning home until six or seven at night and then restless nights. I will be worrying and stressing about work, wanting to make sure I haven’t messed anything up or forgotten anything.
“I will see him later.”
“You should answer the door. He has brought you coffee and breakfast.”
“I don’t care. I want to stay right here with you.”
I don’t want Corbin disappearing on me. I want to spend my day with him. Corran will leave soon when he realises I am not answering the door. I am not doing it to be rude. I just want a day home with Corbin. We haven’t done that since I moved in.
“April, answer the door. He will have work this morning. You can have breakfast with him. I will stay in here, and we can have the rest of the day together.” Corbin encourages.
I roll my eyes. “Fine. You’d better be here when I return, or I will not be a happy bunny.” I warn.
“I promise I will be here, waiting.”
I nod, hesitantly climbing out of bed and wrapping my dressing gown around me and answer the door.
“Sorry, I woke you up, didn’t I?”
“You did, but it is fine. Come in.” I smile.
He hands me my coffee and strolls in, taking a seat on the sofa. I close the door and join him. I didn’t expect to see him this morning. I don’t mind. It will only be for a little while.
“How did you sleep?” he asks, handing a bag of pastries over to me.
“Good. You?”
I slept amazingly. I expected to, anyway.
“Not so good. I only got a few hours,” he sighs.
“I am sorry you never slept well.”
He shrugs. “It is nothing unusual for me.”
That is kind of a lie because any time we have stayed together, he sleeps well. I guess he didn’t sleep well because he was alone. I feel bad, but we can’t exactly stay together every night. We aren’t a couple. It would be weird.
“Are you going to work today?”
“I wasn’t going to, but I am, yes. Do you have any plans for today?”
I shake my head. “No, a quiet day in.”
“Why not make the most of your free days. I won’t take up much of your day. I will need to leave soon for work.”
“You aren’t taking up anything,” I reply.
I don’t plan on seeing him later. I plan on not leaving at all today. I will go see him tomorrow. I am sure he will be glad of a day without me and confused feelings.