Chapter 46 XLVI.
Seated in Mr. Ricci’s study at the mansion, I gazed at the two people across from me. Mr. Ricci and Alessandra sat together while I took an armchair. I had arrived early that morning and requested this meeting. To be honest, I had expected Alessandra to already be screaming at me for cheating on her and betraying her, but she seemed confused and curious about what I might want to discuss. It made me wonder if Anna had chosen not to tell her about Sandro and me yesterday, despite her threats.
I had no time to think about her reasons for keeping my secret. I had to tell the truth now.
"What is this about, Rowan?" Alessandra asked, worry lacing her voice. That alone made me even more nervous.
I fidgeted with my fingers and cleared my throat. I just have to do this. Come on, Rowan, you can do this.
I looked at them and let out a shaky sigh. "There is something I want to confess," I began. Those words alone seemed to put them on edge; I could see them shifting uncomfortably in their seats. Gathering my courage, I continued. "Sandra, I... I do not wish to marry you anymore."
A silence as heavy as lead settled in the room. Alessandra looked shocked, as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard. She blinked rapidly at me, trying to hold back tears, and it was a struggle for me to push down my own guilt.
"B... but why, Rowan? Are you still mad at me because of my accusations against you? I didn't mean it, Rowan. I'm really sorry. Please, don't..."
"It’s not that, Sandra!" I cut her off in frustration. "None of it is your fault. You’re not to blame for anything. It’s all my fault. Everything that happened is on me." I ran a hand through my hair. "This marriage was arranged. Mr. Ricci wanted me to marry you so I could take over the company because Alessandro refused. But the deal was that if I could manage to convince Alessandro to take the position, I wouldn't have to marry you. And... I have managed to convince him."
Her eyes widened, looking shocked and betrayed. She glanced at her grandfather, who remained seated with a neutral expression, avoiding his granddaughter's gaze.
"Is this true, Grandpa?" she asked in a whisper.
Mr. Ricci closed his eyes with a sigh. "It’s the truth, Sandra. That was the deal I made with Rowan. It was the only reason he agreed to marry you. I did tell you that the company was at the center of this."
"You told me about us getting married so Rowan could take over the company, but you never told me my brother was involved!" she yelled. "You never told me the whole thing was dependent on Rowan convincing my brother to take over!"
Mr. Ricci rubbed his temple, looking uncomfortable for once. "I’m so sorry, Sandra. I thought maybe Rowan would fall in love with you in the process, but I was wrong."
She looked at me again, the unshed tears visible in her eyes, making my heart ache. "I asked you many times, Rowan. I asked you if you wanted this marriage to push through, and you said yes. You always denied being forced to marry me. You told me many times that you loved me, and I believed you."
The tears finally rolled down her cheeks, and each one felt like a stab to my chest. She was right. I was a coward for leading her on from the very beginning.
"I’m so sorry, Sandra. I really tried to love you, but the only love I could offer was that of a brother and a friend. I couldn't bring myself to fall in love with you."
"Why?!" she sobbed uncontrollably. "What is so wrong with me, Rowan? What is so wrong that you can't love me? Am I not beautiful enough for you?"
"No, no, Sandra, it’s not that," I spoke quickly, hating that I was hurting her so deeply when she didn't deserve it. "You’re not at fault; I’m the one to blame." I looked down again. It was now or never. "I’m in love with someone else, Sandra. And I’ve been cheating on you with that person."
She gasped, but I didn't dare look up to check her expression. I had fucked up big time, and I knew there was no way I would be forgiven.
"What?" she mumbled in a low, broken voice. "You've been cheating on me this whole time, Rowan? All this time you made me look like a fool. I believed you loved me for months while you were with someone else behind my back."
I flinched. "I’m sorry, Sandra. I know 'sorry' can't rectify the damage I've done, but there’s nothing else I can do right now."
There was silence, filled only by Alessandra's muffled sobs. Then, she spoke again, taking me by surprise. "Who is she?"
I looked up to find her eyes red and her expression gloomy. She didn't look angry anymore, just defeated. "Who is the woman who stole your heart, Rowan? I want to know what she has that I don't."
I gulped and looked away, knowing I was about to drop the final blow. I had come this far; I had to let everything out. "It’s not a 'she,' Sandra. It’s actually a 'he.'"
Her eyes widened, and even Mr. Ricci snapped his head in my direction.
"What?" Alessandra whispered in shock.
"The person I love is a man," I said, my voice trembling. "And it's your brother, Alessandro."
She stood up sharply, knocking the cushions off the sofa. Her eyes were wide with horror. "What?" she mumbled again, finding it impossible to digest. "What are you saying? You’re gay, and you’re cheating on me with my own brother?"
"I’m sorry, Sandra."
"Sorry is not going to fix anything, Rowan! You’ve been with my brother!" she screamed. I flinched, shrinking back into my seat.
"Calm down, Sandra," Mr. Ricci tried to intervene.
"I hate you! I hate you all! I am never going to forgive any of you for what you did to me!" With that, she stamped out of the room in a rage.
Mr. Ricci and I were the only ones left. The silence was so loud it made me sick. I kept my gaze fixed on the table. He sighed and finally spoke.
"I have to say, Rowan, I had a hunch that you were interested in someone else, but I never expected that someone to be my grandson." I had nothing to say, so he continued. "I am disappointed in you, Rowan, though I admit part of this is my fault. I put you in that situation, and for that, I am sorry. But that doesn't excuse what you did while dating my granddaughter. Sleeping with my grandson... it is unpardonable."
I held back tears. "I’m sorry, sir. I didn't mean for it to happen."
He sighed again. "Does Alessandro feel the same way?"
Unable to find my voice, I simply nodded. Mr. Ricci clicked his tongue. "That is a problem, Rowan. If Alessandro loves you, and Alessandra also loves you, the twins will always have conflict between them. I will not have that. So, the only way to solve this is to make sure neither of them gets you."
I blinked in confusion. "I don't think I understand what you mean, sir."
"I want you to go far away, Rowan. Go to Paris. There is another branch of our company there, and you will be in charge of it. You will stay there and start a new life."
My heart sank, and I felt the blood rush to my ears. "Please, sir, I can't do that. I can't leave Alessandro. I love him."
"Is this not the least you can do for Alessandra’s sake? Do you really think she’ll ever be happy seeing you and Alessandro together? She would be broken. She would hate you both, and she would lose her only brother. Is that what you want, Rowan?"
His words were like needles pricking my skin. "No, sir, but..."
"No 'buts,' Rowan. If you have even a little bit of remorse for what you did to Alessandra, and any bit of respect left for me, then you will do this. You will make this sacrifice."
I lowered my head, finding it hard to breathe. Tears stung my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Was my sacrifice all for nothing? Going to Paris meant I would never see Alessandro again.
"There will be a party to celebrate Alessandro as the next president of Ricci’s Enterprise tomorrow night," Mr. Ricci said, standing up to leave. "You have until then to say goodbye to him. You are not allowed to tell him about this or where you are going. I advise you to start packing your bags."
He left the room without giving me a chance to argue. I had no say in the decision. Alone in the quiet study, I finally allowed my tears to fall.
So this is how I was going to lose him?