Chapter Thirteen

Halfway to the barn, Grant slowed his steps and took several deep breaths. His father always pushed him to say and do whatever the opposite was of what he wanted. He loved Charli. He’d known almost the day he walked in and found her in his parent’s kitchen that he was falling for the wild redhead. But what would it do for him to tell her that? Charli had been more than clear and upfront about her intentions in this relationship. She was here for the party. When the party ended, she’d be gone. No regrets, no tears, just walk away.

It didn’t matter if everyone in the world thought they should be married, Charli didn’t and she held those cards. He could think of nothing he’d love more than waking up beside her for the next sixty or so years. But she was convinced she was cursed by her mother’s inability to commit, and there wasn’t any way he had of convincing her otherwise.

Besides, she could have any man in the world, literally. What on earth would she want with him forever? When the good times ended, so did they. Good Time Charli would take her pleasure where she wanted. She said it herself, she wasn’t a forever kind of girl and a small town vet didn’t have a chance in hell of convincing her otherwise.

****

The trip back to the Double B passed in a blur of what Charli could only described as her best acting abilities. Not that saying goodbye to his family hadn’t been hard and the tears she’d shed were real, but pretending to Grant that nothing had changed between them was tougher. She even resorted to the time-worn headache excuse to keep from talking much in the truck as they drove back to Texas.

His hand on her arm woke her up as they reached Sweet Meadow. “Is your headache getting any better?”

She sat up, brushed her hair back and glanced out the window as they passed the LoneStar and turned down Main Street. “No, not really.”

“I’m sorry, babe. When was the last time you took something?” He reached over and cupped the back of her neck, massaging with his thumb.

Charli shifted until his hand fell from her. Although he frowned at her action, she hoped he’d think it was because of her supposed headache.

The truck drove through the Double B arches and soon parked in front of the main house. She wasn’t surprised to see Beth and Tyler coming towards them. Hurricanes on the island where they were supposed to spend the last week of their honeymoon had cut their trip short, and they’d been back on the ranch a couple of days already.

Tyler opened the passenger door for her and she stepped out. He wrapped her in a big bear hug and, for half-a-second, she closed her eyes and wished she could break down and tell him everything.

Instead, she pulled back and smiled her brightest smile. “Hey, stranger. You’re looking relaxed and happy.”

He ducked his head as if embarrassed and she caught his gaze slide to his bride. “Things are good.”

Charli patted his arm. “I’m so happy for you.”

Beth walked over to them and hugged Grant. “How are things at your parents? How’s your Dad doing?”

Grant shrugged. “He’s as ornery as ever. My mother is glad to have him home, anyway. Laura is forcing him to hire on a few full-timers to take some of the load off both of them. I think she and Dave are ready to start a family and she could use a break. She even said they might come pay us a visit for a long weekend.”

“Wow, that is a change for her. I thought she’d once said something about coming to Texas over her dead body or some such thing.” Beth laughed.

“Laura and I actually got along pretty good this time around. Of course, Charli had them all eating out of her hand almost from day one.”

She didn’t comment, though she knew his gaze was on her.

“Long drive? You don’t look too good,” Beth said to her as they walked towards the porch.

“I’m fine. I’ve got a nasty headache that’s all.” Charli watched Grant glance back at her and frown. She ducked her head, ignoring the concern in his eyes. The sooner she got away from him the better. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a painkiller invented yet that could make her heart hurt any less.

“She’s been like that all day.”

Charli stepped into the welcomed air conditioning of the main house and glanced at the stairs. With Beth and Tyler back from their honeymoon, they were staying in the main house until they went back to the Circle S at the end of the month. She knew Grant would expect her to stay with him at the clinic. She’d wondered all afternoon how to get out of it. She couldn’t sleep next to him another night and not break down. Tomorrow, she planned to leave before dawn and drive home. But she had to get through tonight without losing it first.

Flo came out of the kitchen. “I was hoping you two would get home in time for dinner. I made your favorite.”

She hugged Charli and, for a second, Charli rested her head on the other woman’s shoulder and absorbed her comfort.

Flo pulled back and looked steadily at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Just a headache. I’ll be fine. I’m going to take a shower and lie down until dinner.”

She walked into the kitchen, hearing Flo greet Grant in the hallway behind her. She slipped up the back stairs and down the hall to the room she’d stayed in before she and Grant got together. Hopefully, Beth and Grant would have so much to catch up on and discuss about the practice that he wouldn’t come looking for her for a few hours yet. By that time, she’d have her story in place about why she wasn’t sleeping with him tonight. She hoped no one would push the issue of her eating dinner; her stomach rolled at the very thought of eating.

****

Although busy all afternoon catching up with Beth on what she’d missed the past five weeks, Grant’s mind was on Charli. He’d never known her to let something like a headache slow her down. Was there something more? Maybe she was coming down with something more serious. His mind conjured up all types of illnesses and he forced himself to stay calm and not race over to the main house to check on her. He’d already decided if she wasn’t better by dinner, he’d insist she take something stronger than aspirin.

He’d been so eager to get back here and have her all to himself once more. Although being in his parents’ home hadn’t stopped their lust for one another, it certainly had kept things a bit more restrained. He missed being able to make love to her whenever they wanted, and however they wanted. But right now, his only concern was how she was feeling.

A sudden thought struck him. She’d been unusually quiet all morning and then the headache that lasted all day? Maybe he didn’t know her well enough, maybe she was crabby when she was sick. Was that what it was? Or was she sick of him and didn’t want to say, so she was faking a headache? His heart thudded at the thought. No. Charli had always been upfront with him, she would tell him when she was moving on. Wouldn’t she?

“Grant? Are you listening to me?”

He jerked his head around to find Beth staring at him. “Actually, no I wasn’t. I guess I’m worried about Charli’s headache.”

Beth smiled slowly. “I see. I had hoped things were like that.”

“Like what?”

“You’re falling for her.” Beth laughed, her eyes dancing with mirth.

“No, I’m not. We enjoy one another’s company. She’s a great person; warm, kind, and my family adored her.”

Beth grinned confidently. “I thought you didn’t love her.”

“She’s a hell of a woman, but I’m not about to let myself fall for someone who I know is going to leave when the wind blows a different direction.”

He hated thinking about life after Charli. But reality was, their time was running out. He could feel it. She’d be moving on soon.

Maybe she already had.

“You’re an idiot,” Beth declared.

“The Charli Boyd type of women don’t marry small town vets, they amuse themselves with them,” he defended, not only to Beth but himself. “I’ll admit it hasn’t been a hardship to amuse her, but she’s not a forever kind of girl. I’m being realistic.”

His partner threw up her hands and walked to the door.

“Where are you going?”

“If I stay here, I’m going to smack you. I thought Tyler and I were pathetic when we let our stubborn pride stand in the way of our life together, but you’ve even got us beat.”

Grant sank to his desk chair as Beth slammed out of the clinic.

Why didn’t she understand? Charli didn’t love him. She’s been honest from the start that she was never going to settle down with one man.

His mind raced backwards, seeing her in the bar that first night bent over the pool table, the dance at the reception, the garter toss. He grinned, remembering their battle of wills. Finally, how she was with his patients and the night he gave in to her persistence. She was unlike anyone he’d ever known, and he definitely loved her. But the ball was in her court, just as it had been from the start. His heart burned and he rubbed a hand across his chest. Even if by some miracle she did say she loved him, he’d always wonder when she was going to walk out the door.

But that didn’t mean he was ready to let her go yet.

He pushed to his feet and headed out the door. If she really did have a headache, then he was going to insist she take something stronger. But, if she was using that as an excuse to get away from him, she needed more than a pretend headache to hold him off. Just because she might be moving on, didn’t mean he had to go quietly. She chased him relentlessly until he gave in—he’d be damned if he was going to let her get away that easily.

Tonight he was going to pull out all the stops. Romantic candlelight dinner—Flo would understand and even help him, he guessed—maybe a late night skinny dip in the hot tub and then he was going to make love to her slowly and completely until she never wanted to leave his side. Maybe other men were more exciting than he was, maybe they were even better looking and stronger, but he was going to worship her in a way that spoiled her for anyone else’s touch. He was also going to swallow his pride and tell her he’d fallen in love with her. He wouldn’t go so far as to beg her to stay, but he had to lay all his cards on the table. Then, if she still left him, at least he’d know he’d done everything in his power to make her stay.

A few hours later, when she still wouldn’t answer her cell phone, he was close to panicking. He raced up the stairs of the main house, hoping she was sound asleep. A quick glance in her room only added to his worry.

“Have you seen Charli lately?” he asked Flo as he came down the back stairs. Charli wasn’t in the room she’d been staying in at the main house, either. He’d been relieved to see her suitcase was still there, although it bugged him that she hadn’t unpacked.

Flo nodded but didn’t look up. “She went into town, said she wasn’t going to be here for dinner.” The tone in the older woman’s voice implied something wasn’t right.

“In town? Where? To the store? Did she need more medicine for her headache?”

“I don’t think so. I think she was going out for the evening.” Flo set the big pot of pasta into the sink to drain.

Grant waited impatiently for the housekeeper to give him more information. He raked his hands through his hair. “Flo, can we not play this game? Where did Charli go? Was she alone? I need to find her. I need to talk with her.”

The older woman turned around and looked at him with what he could only feel was pity. She shook her head and sighed. “I’ve known Charli since the day she was born and, while I love that girl, I know she’s far from perfect. She’s got a wild streak, gets it from her Mama, and she can’t control it. Never could.” She moved to his side and touched his shoulder. “If she’s gone out and didn’t invite you to go with her, then I’m thinking she’s moving on. I know that hurts because I can already see you’ve fallen for her. But you have to understand, our Charli can’t be tied down.”

Grant’s jaw stiffened and his mind whirled with images of her dancing with cowboys at the LoneStar.

He wasn’t going to accept the brush off that easily. “Where’d she go?”

Flo sighed and dropped her hand. “I don’t have any idea.”

Grant stormed out the back door. Sweet Meadow wasn’t that big. He’d find her. Damn her. She was at least going to tell him they were through to his face. All his romantic plans for this evening were gone, but he could still have his say and tell her how he felt. Then she could stomp on his heart.

****

“Okay, all together. Lick, suck, drink.” Charli laughed as the big men winced at the shooters of tequila. Her old high school buddy, Rocky, shook his head from behind the bar. She waved him off with a big smile.

“Tiny, you did it wrong,” she accused the huge biker sitting across the table from her.

The rough-around-the-edges man, who easily weighed over three hundred pounds despite his nickname, shook his head. “I did not. I licked, then I sucked, then I drank.”

“No you did not. You sucked, then licked, then drank.”

The group around the table exploded in laughter.

The door to Rocky’s bar swung open. Through the dark, hazy atmosphere she recognized Grant.

From her perch on the knee of a very large biker named Killer, she stiffened. She forced her gaze away from the door and back to the biker. “Isn’t that right, Killer?”

“You’re right, Red. He sucked then licked, I saw him.”

She leaned forward towards Tiny. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you to always lick before you suck?”

The bikers all guffawed and hollered. Killer almost crushed her as he hugged her tight against him. “You are something else, Red.”

Grant reached their table. The five bikers turned to stare at him. All conversation stopped. Charli’s heart thudded as she met his gaze.

“You need something, pal?” Tiny stood up to an impressive six foot five.

Charli watched Grant’s head bend back as far as it could to stare up at the other man.

He dropped his gaze to slam into hers. “I came to take you home.”

“Shove off, buddy. The lady’s having a good time,” one of the other bikers growled.

Grant kept his gaze firmly fixed on hers. “I thought you had a headache.”

Charli arched an eyebrow. “I did, but then I remembered the best cure for a headache,” she paused and glanced at the men with a smile. “Lots of tequila.”

They all laughed except Grant, who never wavered in his stare. The waitress slipped past him with another tray of shots. With her gaze never leaving Grant’s, she lifted her arm to Killer who sprinkled salt on the inside of her wrist. When the biker’s lips moved toward her skin, Grant grabbed her hand and hauled her off his lap. He locked his hand around her forearm and she stumbled in her heels.

“That’s about enough. Let’s go,” he said firmly.

Charli had never seen Doc so angry, or so stupid. He must have a death wish to be making such a scene in front of these men, and Rocky too. All she had to do was crook her finger and the bartender would beat a man half to death for touching her.

Killer stood. “The lady’s with me.”

The rest of the men stood up and joined Tiny and Killer.

A thin film of sweat broke out on Grant’s forehead. “I don’t want any trouble. I’m just here to take her home.”

“I don’t think you’re quite big enough for her, little man.”

Charli glanced around the group and back at Grant. His jaw was set and he clenched his fists. Did he really think he could take on this biker gang? He was going to be hurt bad if she didn’t step in.

“Doc, go home.” She yanked on her arm and he released her. She smiled up at Tiny. “Come on, dance with me.” The other man grinned at Grant and followed her to the dance floor.

Charli’s heart pounded furious as she reached the wooden section of the bar floor set aside for dancing. Pretending complete indifference, she threw herself into the music and hoped Grant would get disgusted and leave. Her heart ached to go to him. She wanted to make love to him, lose herself in his arms and pretend everything was going to be okay. But she couldn’t do it anymore. She loved him, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t what he wanted or needed and never would be. She needed to prove to him that she was exactly what she seemed, a good time girl. She was Charli Boyd, the woman no man could tie down. Somehow in the past few weeks she’d slipped into a pattern of familiarity, allowing herself and Grant to believe that maybe she had changed. Was that what happened to her mother? Did she think that love conquered all and allowed herself to think she could be with one man forever? She tossed her head and laughed even though she didn’t feel like smiling.

Lifting her hair off her neck, she gyrated and moved to the music. Her partner, Tiny, smiled and his eyes raked her body. When he moved closer, she danced backward. She didn’t want his touch. She wanted Grant’s, and since she couldn’t have him, she didn’t want anyone.

She turned and saw Grant heading towards the dance floor. Her heart lifted even though she’d told him to go home. She felt herself weaken. How long was she going to be able to resist his pleas?

Killer and another biker followed him across the room. How far would the bikers go? Why was Grant still here? He was a damn fool for not leaving. He was going to end up hamburger if these guys got a hold of him.

Grant wagged his finger in her direction. “I’m leaving. You got what you wanted. I’m not coming back and I’m not going to ask you to go with me. Whatever you’re trying to prove, it worked. You’re nothing but a...” His gaze raked her from head to toe and back again. His eyes filled with disgust and he shook his head as if he couldn’t believe the scene he was involved in.

Charli froze in shock. She narrowed her eyes, slammed her hands and on her leather encased hips and stormed across the dance floor towards him.

“Say it. For once, say what you really think of me. You’ve built up some fairytale, Snow White image of me just because I stepped in to help out when you needed me. But that isn’t me.” She waved a hand up and down her length. “This is me. And I knew you wouldn’t be able to handle it.” She slapped her hand on his chest. “Say it! I want you to admit it.”

For an endless moment he stared back. Regret and hurt filled his brown eyes and her stomach clenched with pain. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and cling to him, but for how long? How long before he left her because she wasn’t doctor’s wife material? Better she leave before he did. She just wanted him to admit what she already knew. Maybe if she heard it, the hole in her heart could start to heal.

He waved his hand as if in defeat and turned away. “Forget it.”

Charli watched him go. Her heart sank. What did she expect? Did she really think he was going to beg her to come with him? That wasn’t what she wanted anyway. This was exactly what she had hoped would happen if he showed up. He’d get disgusted and leave and she could get on with her life. It was time to stop pretending she was something she wasn’t. Did she really think he was going to change his mind and realize what he had and get down on one knee?

He reached the door and she watched it shut behind him. Her body acted before her brain knew what was happening and she found herself racing through the bar. Crashing through the door to the parking lot, she searched frantically, finally spying him by his truck. “Grant!”

He ignored her. She ran across the lot and grabbed his arm as he opened his door. “Doc!”

Grant turned and she dropped her hand. Trying to catch her breath, she brushed her hair back from her face.

He stared at her with cold eyes. “What are you trying to prove?”

“I’m not trying to prove anything. This is me, Doc. I’ve been trying to tell you that and you won’t listen.”

“No, it isn’t.”

His eyes softened as his lips quirked in a gentle smile. He lifted his hand as if to touch her face but she shifted back from his touch.

“Come home with me.”

Home. The word was like a knife in her heart. Images flashed through her mind of the little house where they’d made love that first weekend together. Her throat clogged with tears, but she refused to cry. Going back to the ranch with him tonight would only hurt him more than what she was doing now. She lifted her chin. Somehow, she had to get tough with him and make him hate her; it was the only way to end this before it went even farther. “We don’t have a home. You have a home and I have a home, but we don’t have one.”

His brow furrowed as if he didn’t know what to say. His gaze dropped to her chest. He lifted one finger and caressed the top of her vest where her breasts swelled. He touched her skin and dipped his finger into her cleavage. Her nipples hardened behind the tight leather. Grant’s eyes were hooded and dark with desire. Her body responded immediately and warmth rushed through her. An ache began to build that only he could soothe. He lowered his head towards her and whispered. “We can work all this out. Let me make it better.”

Charli stepped back from his burning touch. Sex wouldn’t make her heart better. “I’m not leaving. I came out to have a good time and that’s what I’m doing.

“Without me?”

“Yeah.”

His head reared back as if she’d slapped him.

“That’s how this is going to end?”

His face was a hard mask. Charli felt guilty for hurting him until she remembered the conversation with his father. It had hurt at the time, but he was right. They weren’t meant to be. This was the only way things could be. They were heading down a dead end and it was better to get out now. He’d thank her someday when he was married to his quiet little wife with a bunch of kids.

Her eyes burned at the image, but she stood her ground. “Go back to your quest, Don Quixote. Go find your demure, fair maiden.”

She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her arm and hauled her hard up against him. His gaze held hers in their fierce stare.

“Why do you think you’re the only one to call the shots? You decided that we got involved, you chase me until I gave in, now you’ve had enough so you think you can walk away from me just like that?”

Charli yanked her arm away and glared through the semi-darkness. “That’s right. You said all along I take my pleasure wherever I want and the hell with the consequences.” She stepped back. “How come you knew me better when we first started than you do now?”

Charli continued her retreat, one small step at a time. “Don’t make me into something I’m not. It’s over, Doc. I’m sorry, I really am, but it’s done.”

As she turned away, the last piece of her heart shattered.