Chapter 24 — Jack

Jack slowly finished buttoning his shirt as he watched Calvin’s chest rise and fall under the covers. The morning sun was just barely filtering in through the curtains, just enough for Jack to see everything he’d be missing soon.

Darren rubbed against his leg, purring loudly as he reached down to scratch behind her ears.

“I’m gonna miss you, too,” Jack whispered.

He walked over next to the bed and gently placed a hand on Calvin’s shoulder. “Babe…” Jack swallowed hard. He had wanted to let Calvin sleep for as long as possible, but now he was wishing he’d been able to spend at least a few more minutes talking or kissing or just holding him close before it was time to go.

But that opportunity had passed—missed, like so many other ones Jack had ignored along the way.

“Jack?” Calvin stirred, then rubbed his eyes as he looked up with a frown. “What time is it? You’re already dressed?”

Jack sat down on the edge of the bed next to Calvin, using his fingers to brush the hair away from Calvin’s forehead before planting a kiss there.

“I’m sorry, babe.” Jack’s voice was shaking already. He had to get himself together fast if he was going to make it through this goodbye without completely breaking down. “You just looked so peaceful that I couldn’t make myself wake you up.”

“I wish you would have,” Calvin’s voice was low and scratchy with sleep, but his eyes were wide awake and shining bright with emotion. “I didn’t mean to sleep in today, of all days.”

“It’s not quite six in the morning,” Jack chuckled. “So, I don’t think it counts as sleeping in yet.”

Calvin struggled to sit up, pushing the covers away from his upper body so he could nestle against Jack’s chest. “Do you have to leave already? I could put some clothes on and go have breakfast, or… something…”

“I wish I could stay longer, babe,” Jack said, meaning it more than ever. “I really do. But I have to get back to Boston by tonight, so I can be at work on time in the morning. I just…”

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. All he knew for sure was that he didn’t want to go.

Calvin looked up at him just as a big, single tear rolled down his cheek. Jack caught it with his thumb and wiped it away.

“I know, babe,” he said, simply. “I wish I could say I’ll be back soon, but it will depend on…” he waved a hand, “you know… work, life, everything. I will be back, though. I promise you I will.”

“But for how long?” Calvin dashed at his cheeks as more tears fell. “I’m sorry, Jack. I knew I wasn’t supposed to have any expectations or whatever, but… but I do. I feel like I’ve had a taste of what my life is really supposed to be like, what I want it to be like. And now I don’t want it to end.”

His voice cracked on the last word, and it hurt Jack’s heart to hear him in pain. It hurt even more because not only did Jack feel the same way, but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

“I’m sorry,” Jack said. It was all he could say. “I want this, too, but I hope you believe me when I say I never meant to hurt you, Calvin. That’s the last thing I would ever want to do.”

“I know,” Calvin said. “I do know that.” He drew a ragged breath and then shook his head. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to say all of that. I know this is hard on both of us, so… I’ll let you go now.”

The words sounded so final when Calvin said them that it felt like Jack had been punched in the gut. “I could stay for a few more minutes,” he offered, but Calvin shook his head again.

“No, that’s okay. It will still feel the same in a few minutes.” He tilted his head up and kissed Jack sweetly. “Call me when you get to Boston, okay?”

“Absolutely,” Jack said, struggling not to let his own tears spill over as he stood up. “I’ll call as soon as I get home.”

Calvin nodded. “Goodbye, Jack.”

Jack kissed him one more time on the forehead. “Goodbye.”

He walked across the room and paused for just a moment to take one more look back, to commit every detail he could to memory. And then he left, because there was nothing more either of them could say.

He almost even made it to the car before the tears started streaming down his face.