Chapter 22 — Jack

It was late in the evening by the time Jack made it to his parents’ house. The first week he’d been in town, he had tried to keep his mother happy by making sure he was there for breakfast and dinner most days, but the past week had been different.

He had been spending more and more time with Calvin, particularly as the day he had to return to Boston got closer.

Jack’s mom had been happy enough to see him spending time with his old friend, Calvin, at first. After all, she was the one who had set this whole visit in motion. But he could tell that she was starting to get annoyed as more and more reasons popped up that kept him away from her house.

“Another late night at the bookstore?” she asked as he walked into the living room. “I’m sure Calvin will miss his star employee when you leave.”

Jack grimaced. He had hoped for a quick shower and then maybe a short nap before heading over to Calvin’s house later that night. The last thing he wanted was to add a pointless argument with his mother to those plans.

But he took the bait anyway.

“You know I’m not his employee, Mom.” Jack sighed and looked around the living room before easing down onto the sofa opposite the chair she was sitting in. “Where’s Dad?”

She waved a dismissive hand toward the door. “Poker night. I thought surely with you around I’d have someone to cook for every evening, but… apparently not.”

“We were busy—I was busy helping the guys downtown plan for when I’m gone.” He gave her a pointed look. “That was what you wanted me to come down here for in the first place, wasn’t it?”

“Don’t take that tone with me, Jack.” She returned his look with her own steely gaze. “I’m quite certain those boys downtown don’t need to monopolize all of your time. Between them and Calvin, I’ve hardly seen you at all.”

Jack opened his mouth to refute that claim, but closed it again. She was right, or at least… not totally wrong. He might have done a good job balancing the work he wanted to do with family time that first week, but the scales had definitely tipped more toward work lately.

Well, work and Calvin. Which he didn’t regret for even a second. But she didn’t have all the details. To her, it probably seemed like he was just hanging out with his old high school pals, partying it up while he could.

The truth, unfortunately, was a lot less interesting. Every waking hour that he hadn’t spent in Calvin’s arms had been spent working instead.

If he had been smart, he would have done a little bit of partying with some of his old friends, since he didn’t know when he might be back.

But he obviously wasn’t smart, or he wouldn’t have gone and done something as dumb as to fall head over heels for Calvin when they had both agreed not to have any expectations of where things might go between them.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around more,” Jack said, finally. If he couldn’t outright refute what she had said, at least he could try to make peace. “And I know it seems like other people have been monopolizing my time, but I did come here to help those business owners turn things around, and I’m really proud of the progress we’ve made so far. They’re going to do good things in this town, Mom. They already are.”

She sighed, and he could see the fight leave her eyes as she looked at him. “I know they are, dear. And I’m proud of you for coming here and lending them a hand when they needed it. Especially for your friend, Calvin. He’s such a sweetheart. You know I just get cranky when I don’t see you for a while.”

Jack smiled. He did know that, and he also appreciated that she was his biggest cheerleader even when she was being critical. He might not agree with everything she said or did, but he knew for a fact that she was always looking out for him and always meant well.

Anyone would be lucky to have Bea Roberts in their corner, and Jack considered himself lucky to have her for a mother.

Which was why he wasn’t going to keep the biggest news of his life a secret.

He took a deep breath. This was it. “Would it help at all to know that I’ve had a pretty good reason—aside from work, I mean—for being gone so much this past week?”

Her eyes narrowed, and he could see the wheels turning in her head. “What kind of good reason?” Her eyes widened as she clasped her hands together. “Have you been seeing someone? Please tell me that’s the reason, Jack. I’ll forgive a couple of missed meals if that’s the case.”

Jack laughed. She could be so predictable sometimes. “Yes, that is the reason. I’ve been seeing someone, and I’ve honestly been happier these past few days than I’ve ever been before. It’s been sort of crazy, really.”

She squealed like a girl much younger than her actual age and sat up on the edge of her seat. “Jack. Tell me everything. What’s her name? Who are her parents? What does she do? She’s a local girl, I assume…”

Jack’s grin slipped slightly. He had been sort of excited to tell her about Calvin, but her sudden enthusiasm and all the questions about which girl it might be made him hesitate.

Would she be disappointed to learn there was no girl at all?

Would she be upset?

“Actually, Mom,” Jack began, then paused again. Shit. Was he making a mistake right now? Had he really thought coming out to his mother would be some easy-breezy thing? Too late to take it back now, though. He knew the look she was giving him, and he knew she wouldn’t let him out of her sight until he gave her the answers she was looking for. He took a deep breath and tried again. “Actually, there is no girl.”

She blinked, then cocked her head to the side.

Then she blinked again. “What? So you were lying to me just now when you said you were seeing someone? If you think you’re being funny right now, Jackson Wayne Roberts, I’ve got news for you—”

“No, wait,” he held up his hands in a mock surrender. “I’m not…” Jesus, how had this gone off the rails so quickly. “I’m not trying to be funny, Mom.” He shook his head. “Christ, I’m trying to tell you I’ve been seeing Calvin.”

For a moment there was no sound in the room at all. There was no expression on her face to show that the words he’d just said had registered. It was as if someone had stopped time right at the very moment he’d made his big announcement—an announcement that had even taken Jack by surprise with the way he’d just let it slip out.

When that moment of silence passed, Jack could actually see the words sink in as her mouth opened and her eyes went wide again. She snapped her mouth shut and wrung her hands together in her lap before opening and shutting it again.

“C-Calvin?” She asked, finally, though the name came out so quietly that Jack probably wouldn’t have heard it if there had been any other sound at all in the room. “I’m sorry, dear…” She sat back in her chair and rubbed at her forehead for a second. “I think I misheard you. Could you… did you say… you said you’re seeing Calvin? Calvin Berry? Our little Calvin who I practically raised right alongside you?”

Jack nodded slowly, wondering if the worst was yet to come. “That’s right. I’ve been seeing Calvin. Calvin Berry.”

“And just so I’m clear…” She inhaled and exhaled an impossibly deep breath. “Just so I’m not mistaken… when you say you’ve been seeing Calvin, do you mean… romantically?”

He snorted before he could stop himself. Was she really asking him that question? What other way could he have meant it? But this wasn’t the time for sarcastic answers, not if he wanted this conversation to end up in a good place.

“Yes, romantically,” he answered. “That is what I mean. We haven’t really put a label on it, but I guess you could say that Calvin and I are sort of dating.”

“Sort of dating…” she repeated the words, as if testing out the way they sounded. “You and Calvin Berry. Dating. Romantically dating.” Her brow furrowed as she focused her attention on him. “For how long?”

“Just literally for a few days,” he said. “A week, maybe.”

“I see. And you’ve… always been…” She raised an eyebrow. “Gay?”

“No,” he replied, quickly. Too quickly, maybe. “I mean… I don’t know? I’ve never thought of myself as gay, honestly. Or even bi until… really recently. But I have always had feelings for Calvin, even though I never could admit them, even to myself.” He sighed. Why did it have to be so complicated? Why couldn’t it just be him and Calvin, no labels, no definitions? But that would probably be even more difficult for most people to understand, so he was going to have to rely on other people’s labels and definitions until he and Calvin could come up with something that suited them better. “So I guess that means that whatever I am—straight, gay, bi, pansexual, whatever—I must have always been that way. I’m only just now coming to terms with it, though, so I’m still trying to figure it all out, you know?”

“No, I don’t know,” she said. “I wish I did know. I’m trying, Jack, honestly. But I just never saw this coming. Not in a million years. You and Calvin…” She shook her head, frowning. “Not in a million years.”

“It’s not so bad, is it?” Jack asked. “I mean… I’m still the same person I was five minutes ago before you knew. Calvin is still the same… still your little Calvin Berry who loves your homemade lasagna more than anything else in the world. You know that, right?”

“Of course I know that,” she said, sighing. “Jack, let me make one thing perfectly clear. There is nothing in this world you could say or do that would ever make me love you even a tiny bit less. You’re my whole world, and seeing you happy is all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Calvin makes me happy, Mom,” Jack said, though he was finding it more and more difficult to speak past the lump that was growing in his throat. “Happier than I’ve been in a long, long time. Happier than I’ve ever been, if I’m being honest.”

“Then that makes me happy,” she said, finally—finally—smiling. “Happy for you and happy for Calvin. You know I always have adored him. I just worry that people will be… that people might judge you. I love Silver Lake, but you know how it can be here. I don’t ever want anyone to be cruel to you—or to Calvin, for that matter.”

Jack could tell that she was starting to warm up to the idea of him and Calvin together. This was the Bea Roberts he knew, the one who worried about everything and everyone, who took the world’s problems onto her shoulders.

This was at least closer to the reaction he’d been expecting, if not quite the level of enthusiasm he’d been hoping for.

“People are going to judge me no matter what, Mom. That’s just what people do.” Jack gave a little smile. “But you didn’t raise me to worry about what other people think. Do you remember what you told me when I said I was thinking about taking Calvin to the prom way back in high school?”

“Follow your heart, and to hell with what anyone else thinks,” she recited, her eyes suspiciously bright with emotion.

“That’s right,” Jack’s grin grew wider. “And do you remember what else you said?”

“If anyone has a problem with it, tell them to come see me.”

“And…”

“And I’ll kick their ass.” She flushed a little as she spoke. “I probably shouldn’t have said it quite like that, though. But I meant it then… and I mean it now, too. I love you, Jack. I only want the best for you.”

“Calvin is what’s best for me, Mom.” Jack stood up and crossed the room to give her a hug. “I realize that now, and I’m not going to let anyone tell me it isn’t okay, or that it isn’t exactly what is right for me and my life. You taught me that.”

“I did,” she agreed. “And I’m proud of you, dear. I truly am. But what will this mean for the two of you? Surely he isn’t going to pick up and move to Boston…”

“No,” Jack frowned. “It wouldn’t be fair to ask him to do that.”

“But surely you aren’t thinking about…”

“About moving back here?” Jack’s frown deepened. “I don’t see how I can make that work, Mom, no matter how much I want it to.”

She reached for him and gave him another hug. “Well, as much as I would love to see you move back home, I understand why you don’t think you can. Just remember that there is always a home here waiting for you—and now Calvin will be here for you, too.”

“I know, Mom.” He tried to smile again but couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead he settled for a heavy sigh. “Thank you, though. For everything. Knowing you’re happy for me means a lot.”

“Of course, dear,” she said. “I’m always on your side. Remember that.”

It was the kind of unconditional love and support he knew a lot of people didn’t have, and Jack was determined not to take it for granted anymore. He was counting on that love and support to get him through while he figured out who he was, where he was going, and how he could get there.

Between his parents and Calvin, he couldn’t ask for a better team. He knew they would have his back no matter what.

And to him, they were everything.