Chapter 11 — Calvin

Calvin stifled a yawn as he heard the bell above the door to Second Chance Books jingle merrily.

Please let that be Jack.

Please, please, please.

He glanced at the clock. Still five minutes until the store was officially open for the day, not that it mattered much. All of his regular customers knew they were welcome to come in anytime Calvin was in the building, whether it was before or after hours.

And they were all welcome to come in today, too. Just… maybe a little later.

He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead as he contemplated standing up and peeking around the corner of the office to see who had come in.

Again, he hoped it would be Jack—that he would come straight back to the office so Calvin didn’t have to move.

God, when had he become such a lightweight with wine? Calvin’s twenty-one-year-old self would have been appalled that just a couple of glasses could make him feel so bad the next day.

The headache was worth it, though, for how good it felt the night before to sit around the table with Jack and his family again.

“Good morning,” Jack’s voice behind him made Calvin open his eyes and attempt a smile as he turned to face his friend. “I brought you something.”

Calvin’s eyes went wide with gratitude as Jack handed him a steaming cup from Steamin’ Beans. “Oh my God.” Calvin inhaled the aroma coming from the cup. “Have I told you lately that you’re my favorite person in the world?”

“No,” Jack laughed. “But I’ll keep that in mind. I hope I got the right kind—mocha?”

“It’s perfect,” Calvin nodded. “And perfect timing. I’m almost finished with the cup I got on my way in, and it definitely wasn’t going to be enough to get me through this day. Did you see Scottie while you were there? Big blond guy? He’s the owner and completely on board with our plans to revitalize the downtown area.”

“I think I saw him, but didn’t stop to talk. I’ll have to drop by sometime later this week to see if he’s down for a meeting. I’d like to get as many of the local business owners as we can in here for a brainstorming session, maybe come up with some plans that are a little more concrete for after I leave.”

Calvin’s head throbbed again, both from his earlier headache and with the reminder that Jack’s time in Silver Lake was going to be over far too soon.

“That sounds like a really good idea,” Calvin said, pushing himself up from his chair and steadying himself against the desk for a moment before turning toward Jack. “Thanks again for the mocha. You really are a life saver.” He walked past Jack and out the office door. “Now that I’ve got some extra caffeine on hand, I can spare the extra steps to go say good morning to Darren.”

“Darren—oh, the cat?” Jack asked, his heavy footsteps falling closely behind Calvin as they walked to the back door of the shop. “Does he just hang out back here all day?”

Calvin shrugged as he unlocked the heavy door and pushed it open. “He does what he wants. He’s here to see me most mornings, and then again at lunchtime. Other than that, he does his own thing most of the time.”

The purring started as soon as the door opened. Darren was there, standing on the doorstep in his regular spot, just waiting for Calvin to reach down and pet him.

“I think maybe I’ve been giving Darren too many treats lately,” Calvin mused, frowning a little as he felt the sides of his stray cat’s belly. “Unless maybe we’re packing on the pounds for winter…”

He looked back at Jack, who quirked an eyebrow. “Can I ask why you call her Darren?”

“Because he looks like a Darren to me,” Calvin shrugged. “What do you think I should call him?”

“Pregnant, for starters,” Jack said, then burst out laughing.

Calvin felt his eyes go wide and his jaw drop open for several seconds as the words registered. “No…” His gaze flicked from Darren—or whoever—to Jack and back again. “No… what? No, that can’t be. Darren isn’t… is he?”

It just didn’t make any sense. Calvin had been feeding and loving on this cat for weeks. Surely he would have figured something like that out by now, right?

“Have you, ah…” Jack gestured toward the cat and cocked his head to the side. “You know… checked?”

“He—Darren—the cat doesn’t like to be picked up, but I just…” Calvin nibbled at his lip as his voice trailed off. “I guess I just assumed he was a boy.”

“Only one way to find out for sure,” Jack said, taking a step closer and offering Darren his hand to sniff.

Calvin moved back and folded his arms, waiting for the inevitable hissing and scratching if Jack tried to pick the cat up.

To Calvin’s surprise, though, it only took a few seconds before Darren was nuzzling into Jack’s hand, and then he didn’t even make a peep when Jack gingerly lifted him off the ground to do a quick inspection.

Jack looked over with a grin and Calvin shook his head in disbelief.

“Oh my God,” Calvin whispered. “You’re right. I’ve been calling her Darren this whole time, and now she’s a… a…”

“Darlene?”

Calvin looked at her.

Darlene?

Darlene?

“No,” he grimaced. “I don’t see it. She still looks like a Darren to me.” Calvin turned his attention back to Jack. “What am I going to do?”

Jack took a step toward Calvin and squeezed his shoulder with a grin. “I’d say it’s time to take Darren to the vet for a checkup.”

It took a moment, but Calvin returned the smile, then exhaled a slow breath. “Yeah. I’ve already made an appointment, but I’ll call and see if I can move it up to sometime this week.” He looked back to the cat. “Does that sound good to you, Darren?”

At the sound of her name, Darren walked back to Calvin and rubbed against his leg, purring loudly.

“She seems pretty sold on that name,” Jack said. “I think you have her approval.”

“I’m glad, but God, that’s the least of our worries now…” Calvin sighed. “We’re gonna have kittens, Darren.”

He wasn’t sure whether to be happy or nervous, or whether he should just lock the doors and go home.

It had already been a hell of a day, and it hadn’t even technically started.

###

“Should I go pick us up something for lunch?” Jack asked, popping into the office doorway.

“Oh, God,” Calvin grimaced, looking up at the clock. “How is it already lunchtime?”

After the crazy way the morning had started, Calvin had been pretty sure he might not make it through the day without having a nervous breakdown. Here it was, though, noon already with no breakdown in sight.

“Been a hectic day,” Jack said echoing Calvin’s thoughts. “Were you able to get the vet appointment rescheduled?”

“Sort of.” Calvin sighed. “They’re letting me bring him—her—in on Thursday, so a few days early, at least.”

Jack stepped closer and reached out to give Calvin’s shoulder a sympathetic squeeze—the second time he’d done so that day. “I know you’ve got a lot going on right now, but that cat is lucky to have someone like you who cares so much about her.”

Calvin smiled at the words, but felt his eyes drawn to Jack’s hand that was still resting on his shoulder.

Jack looked down and pulled his hand away so quickly it was as if it had been burned. “Sorry about that,” he mumbled, turning back toward the door. “I should go grab lunch.”

“Wait—” Calvin stood and reached for Jack, but stopped himself before he could make contact. “Please don’t go yet. And please don’t be sorry. I hate that there has to be this undercurrent of tension every time we’re in the same room. I mean… I’m not just imagining that, right? Do you feel it, too?”

Jack nodded warily, pinned in place between Calvin’s stare and the door he had nearly reached before Calvin stopped him. “I do,” he answered. “I wish I could say it didn’t exist, but… it does, Calvin, and I don’t know how to change that.”

“Can we try? Can we at least talk about it?”

It was the most honest moment they’d had in a decade, and Calvin could clearly see how conflicted Jack’s feelings were. Jack had never been one to talk much about his feelings, but this went way beyond that normal reluctance. This had been a complete shut down—and a complete end to their friendship—until Jack had shown up at the bookstore a few days ago like nothing had ever happened.

Like it had simply been a few weeks since they’d seen each other, rather than the ten years it had actually been.

And even though Calvin was happy and thankful that Jack had finally come around—and that he had come to help when Calvin needed him the most—there was still a lot that had been left unsaid between them.

Calvin hoped they could say some of those things now.

“I don’t know if it’ll help to talk about it, honestly,” Jack said. “If I knew what to say, I would have said it by now.”

“Can I at least start by apologizing?” Calvin asked, quietly. “I didn’t mean to kiss you that night. I really didn’t, Jack. I didn’t plan it out in advance. It just… happened. And if I could take it back, I swear I would. It’s the one thing I regret the most—the thing that cost me my best friend.”

Jack swallowed hard, and he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Calvin thought he could even see the color draining from Jack’s face.

When he finally did say something, his voice was low and thick with emotion. Just the tone of his voice had Calvin blinking back tears.

“You don’t need to apologize to me,” he said. “I don’t want that. I don’t want you to feel bad. I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t know how to handle it better, Calvin. You deserved to have this conversation ten years ago. You deserved a better friend.” He drew a ragged breath and then shook his head slightly. “I’ve gotta go. I probably won’t be back later today. I’m sorry.”

He was gone before Calvin could say anything else, before Calvin could ask what any of that meant.

Before Calvin could ask if there was any hope at all that their friendship could someday go back to the way it used to be.

Calvin slumped back down into his chair, unsure what to do. Jack had shut him down and shut him out again, so there really wouldn’t be any point in chasing after him. Calvin would only end up embarrassing himself and making Jack even more uncomfortable.

Still, Jack had said one thing that Calvin agreed with completely. He did deserve to have had that conversation ten years ago, even if it probably wouldn’t have helped back then, either.

Except neither of them had been mature enough back then to have it. Calvin would have been too emotional. Jack would have been… what? Too shocked? Too scared? Too angry?

Even now, it certainly hadn’t brought the closure Calvin had hoped for.

Instead, he was left with just as many questions as before. Maybe more.

But just like before, he was left alone. His best friend was gone again, and there was nothing Calvin could do about it.

The tears started to fall before he could stop them, but it didn’t matter.

Nobody was there to see him cry.