Chapter 48
kara
Blake looks like he wants to argue—his jaw is clenched, his fists tight, and I can see the bulge in his jeans, thick and obvious. But he nods once. "Yeah. Okay. We can wait."
Cole's smile is sad but genuine. "We've waited our whole lives for you, Kara. A little longer won't kill us."
Won't it? my wolf whispers, and I feel the truth of it: their Ruts are coming. Soon. The pheromones in the air are proof enough. The way their scents are starting to spiral out of control, the gold bleeding into their eyes, the tremor in their hands. They need me as much as I—
No. I won't finish that thought.
"I need to move," I say abruptly, swinging my legs off the bed. My knees are weak. My core is still throbbing. "I need—can we pick out a room? You said I could have a real room. I want... I want a bath. A real one. With hot water."
Asher's expression softens. "Of course. Come on."
---
The first-floor guest wing is enormous—eight bedrooms, each with its own bathroom. I walk through three of them before I find it: the room with the massive freestanding tub near the window, white porcelain gleaming like a pearl. I've cleaned this room a hundred times. Polished that tub until my reflection stared back at me, mocking. You'll never use this, it seemed to say. You'll die before you're allowed to soak in hot water for more than five minutes.
"This one," I whisper.
Asher frowns. "This is on the first floor. I was hoping you'd stay on the third. With us."
Something sharp twists in my chest. "I need space."
"I know. I just—" He stops himself. Nods. "Whatever you need."
Blake steps closer to the tub, running his hand along the rim. "You can fill this thing every damn day if you want. Stay in until your fingers wrinkle. No one will say shit."
The casual way he says it—like it's obvious, like I deserve this—makes my throat close up. For ten years, a five-minute shower was a luxury. For ten years, I rationed hot water like it was gold.
"Thank you," I manage.
Cole appears in the doorway with fresh linens. "We'll get your things moved tonight. And tomorrow—"
"Wait." I turn to face them, my hands fisting in my shirt. The damp spot in my panties is uncomfortable now, cooling. Humiliating. "Can I ask you something?"
They go still. Wary.
"When you found out I was your mate... were you disappointed?"
The question hangs in the air like a guillotine blade.
Blake moves first, dropping to his knees in front of me. "Jesus Christ, Kara. No. Never. Not for one fucking second."
"That night," Asher says quietly, stepping closer, "when I first smelled your scent—really smelled it, not just the faint traces you left in the hallways—my wolf went quiet. For the first time in years, he wasn't clawing to get out. He was... at peace."
Cole's voice is thick with emotion. "I've snuck into your storage room before. Multiple times. I'd lie on your bed and just... breathe. I told myself I was checking to make sure you were okay, but the truth is, I wanted to know if that feeling—that rightness—was real."
Blake's laugh is bitter. "I went through your stuff. All of it. Your math notebooks. Those letters you wrote to your parents that you never sent. I read every goddamn word. And I knew—knew—you were the only person I'd ever want."
"I investigated your parents," Asher admits. "Pulled their files. I wanted to understand you. Where you came from. Why your scent could calm all three of us when no one else ever could."
My eyes burn. "Then why did you hurt me?"
The silence is deafening.
"Because we were terrified," Cole whispers. "Terrified we weren't good enough. That you'd reject us. So we hurt you first. Before you could hurt us."
I want to scream at them. Want to rage. But all I can manage is: "I thought you'd reject me. I thought... when you found out, you'd be disgusted. That you'd wish for someone else. Someone better."
"Never," Blake says fiercely. "Never, baby. You're ours. You've always been ours."
Something in me cracks. "Then why—" My voice breaks. "Why did you bring those girls here?"
They freeze.
"Last winter," I continue, my voice eerily calm now. "The night before my seventeenth birthday. You brought three girls home. I was cleaning the fireplace in the living room. You—you kissed them. Touched them. Right there. And I was less than ten feet away, crouched by the hearth with ash on my hands, praying you wouldn't notice me."
Blake's face goes white. Asher closes his eyes. Cole makes a wounded sound.
"I heard everything," I whisper. My hands are shaking. "The sounds. The moans. I heard one of them say 'harder' and Blake, you—you laughed. I heard fabric tearing. I heard—" My breath hitches. "I heard the couch creaking. And I just kept scrubbing the fucking grate, kept my back to you, because what else could I do?"
"That was the worst day of my life," Asher interrupts, his voice raw. "I swear to God, Kara. We thought if we pretended you didn't exist—if we could just ignore what we felt—it would go away."
"I threw up," Cole says, tears streaming down his face. "When we got back to my room, I threw up until there was nothing left. I hated myself. I hated myself."
Blake's hands are shaking. "I went to the garage and beat a punching bag for half an hour. My knuckles bled. And even then, I couldn't stop hating myself. Couldn't stop wishing I'd had the balls to walk over to you. To tell you I was sorry. To—to stop."
The room is spinning. My chest is tight. I can't breathe.
And then—
"Let me make it right," Blake says suddenly, his voice desperate. His gunpowder scent shifts—softens—becomes laced with something vulnerable I've never smelled on him before. "Tonight. The aurora forecast—first strong lights of the season. Let me take you out. A real date. Hot cocoa, blankets, a fire. I'll cook for you. We'll watch the sky. And I'll tell you everything. The real me. Not the bully. Not the asshole. Me."
I stare at him. His golden eyes are pleading. His massive frame is on his knees before me, this Alpha who once threw me into ice water, now begging.
Say yes, my wolf begs. Please. Say yes.
My core clenches again—a reminder of how badly my body wants this, wants them, regardless of what my mind thinks.
"If I say stop," I whisper, "you stop. Immediately."
"I swear it," Blake says, his hand over his heart. "On my Alpha honor. On my life."
Asher nods. "We'll be in the mind link, Blake. If she's uncomfortable for even a second—"
"I'll be there," Cole finishes. "We'll all be there."
"Don't fuck this up, little brother," Asher adds, his voice low. "This is her trust. Maybe the last chance she'll ever give you."
Blake looks at me, and the hope in his eyes is almost painful to witness.
"Okay," I breathe. "Okay. One date."
And my wolf howls with joy while the wet heat between my legs pulses with anticipation I refuse to name.