Chapter Thirty-One

Celia Becky drove us to her warehouse apartment, and we took the elevator up to the floor where her apartment was. I saw that it was mainly one room, with a closed in space for the bathroom and the bedroom. There was also a loft, which was where Becky slept on a mattress on the floor. A bohemian life for a girl a that wasn’t sure she wanted to be a true bohemian.

Yet, I thought ruefully, I’d wanted the conservative life and had ended up being the bohemian one.

I was numb for a while and didn’t say a lot. Becky, on the other hand, wouldn’t shut up.

“I’m so sorry, Celia. I didn’t know how to tell you, and I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to make accusations that weren’t true, but I knew Keith was a player and that he and his brothers were fairly… kinky. I thought maybe you knew. Or that Keith had gone straight, finally.”

She paused, dug out a bottle of scotch and poured two glasses. I gulped it, hungry for the delirium it gave so many. I wanted to pass out and forget the terrible words that Rachel had spewed at me and the guilty look on Keith’s face.

Or had it been Keith? How was I to know? They were identical triplets, weren’t they?

Becky gave me a can of cold Coke and I used it to wash away the heat of the scotch, but it didn’t really help. It didn’t occur to me to ask how an 18-year-old had a bottle of expensive scotch, or to tell her it was illegal for us to drink it. I just drank it and didn’t think.

I’d downed three shots before she closed the bottle and put it down. “That’ll do for now. Come on, Celia. Talk to me. You can’t keep this bottled up.”

“If I talk about it, I’ll have to think about it, Beck,” I said grimly, and then looked into those light green eyes, full of sadness for me. Pity.

I closed my eyes to block it out, to block out the word fool that kept playing over and over in my mind. “Another!”

I held out the glass she’d given to me and she did me the honor of listening to me. I downed the double shot and then kind of wobbled over to the couch she had. It was huge. One of those that has multiple sections that fit together and she’d put it in place to make an alcove that looked like a living room, instead of one large room. I sank down onto the white velvet and pulled my boots off. I didn’t want to mark the white carpet that also served to mark the section out as a different room.

“What am I going to do?” I finally sobbed. “I don’t have any clothes; all of my stuff is at his…” I shook my head about my words as the reality hit home, “No, their house.”

“I’ll go and get it. You can stay here with me, rent-free. I don’t mind.” She sat down beside me, my forgotten Coke and one for her in her hands. “I’ll go over and tell them to hand over your belongings. Or better yet, they can deliver them here.”

“Thanks.” I sank back into the plush sofa and tried to make my mind blank. The scotch had hit me hard, and the room span a little but then it calmed down. “I’m so fucked.”

“You aren’t, Celia. You have me and that’s all that matters. For tonight, you can sleep in one of my nightgowns, and you can have the extra room. It has a bed in it, so you’re ready to go.”

“I thought he was going to propose,” I whispered and moved forward to grab the can and take a drink. “I really thought that’s what he was starting to hint at. Not that he wanted to tell me that there were three of him.”

“Was he?” she asked, surprised. “So, you didn’t know?”

“No. Apparently, I live in a fucking bubble.” Although, if I was honest with myself, I’d started to think he had a personality disorder. He was so vastly different sometimes that I’d started to wonder if he had multiple personalities all named Keith. As it turned out, there were three Keiths but they all had different names. In real life. Not imaginary people or personalities, but triplets. Fuck.

I turned my face away from Becky to hide my tears, but she took my hand and tugged at it. I sank down to her lap and she pushed off the stupid helmet I’d forgotten I still had on. Once that was gone, she brushed at my hair with gentle fingers and started to sing a song. I didn’t know the song, but it was pretty.

I wasn’t really comfortable, not in that mostly metal top but Becky’s care made me feel loved. I wanted to run home. To my mom, aunts, and Gran, but Becky did what she could for me. She did her best to comfort me until I fell asleep.

The scotch did its job and left me in peace for a little while. A few hours later, I woke up because my boob was vibrating. It freaked me out until I realized it was my phone. I knew who it was and didn’t bother to look. I turned the phone off and sat up. I was still at Becky’s apartment and looked around. There was a large white nightgown on the coffee table, big enough to fit almost anyone and I saw she’d turned on the bedside lamp in the bedroom.

I went into the unfamiliar room, looked around at the sea of white and closed my eyes. There was no window in the room, so it was dark when I turned off the light. I couldn’t see a thing. I took off my costume, slid on the gown and slipped into the cold sheets of the bed. I pulled the covers over my head, and let the world slip away.

I dreamed nightmares this time, however. It wasn’t the sweet unconscious nothing that I’d had before. I dreamed of Rachel as a giant that stood over me, her finger an accusation that nearly obliterated my head. She laughed, and the crowd that milled around her legs laughed. Then there was fire, and I tried to run but at every point, Keith blocked my way. Only it wasn’t Keith. There were three of him, then six, then nine and it kept going until the crowd that laughed at me was made up only of replicas of Keith.

I screamed, tried to break away but they held me, pushed me, deeper into the middle of them all, until I fell, curled up into a ball, and cried as I pleaded with them to stop. Celia, they called my name, over and over, until it was a blur, a slur that repeated in my head.

“Celia! Wake up, girl, you’re having a nightmare!” I jerked awake to see Becky stood over me, her face concerned.

“Becky? What?” I sat up in bed, remembered what had happened and closed my eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t. It’s time for class and I was awake anyway. It’s so dark in here you can’t tell what time it is. Are you going to class?” She looked like she knew the answer to that already.

“I don’t have any clothes, and while this nightgown could hold three of me, I don’t think I’ll go out in public in it. Or any of your clothes, either.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll sort something out for you, and I’ll hunt Keith and his brothers down to get your stuff. There’s food in the fridge and I’ll be back at lunchtime, okay?”

I got out of bed and hugged her. “Thank you. You’ve saved me. You really have.”

“You don’t need to thank me; you’d do the same for me. Just rest, regroup and get your head straight if you can. I’ll be back soon.”

She hugged me back and then she left me there, alone. I knew she had to go to class. I needed to as well, but I had no clothes. And I’d been humiliated enough for one lifetime already.

I glanced at my phone and bit down on my lip to keep the tears at bay. I would not turn it on. I knew it would be full of texts and missed calls. But I didn’t want to talk to him. I didn’t want this to be real.

Right now, I was in a bubble where reality was outside, and here in Becky’s home, the outside didn’t exist. Turning on that phone would bring the outside in to me which I dearly didn’t want to do. In here, I didn’t have to cry. I didn’t have to remember the faces that laughed at me, in real life, not the nightmare. Because they’d all laughed as I ran away. They’d all joined Rachel in her triumphant cacophony of laughter.

She’d finally bested me, and it was all because Keith had wanted me and not her. She’d humiliated herself with that admission, but that wouldn’t matter to the world. She’d broken me. She’d torn away the only comfort I had and she’d won. But here, I didn’t have to think about that.