Chapter 30

Eli was silent. She didn't know how to react when he heard James's words. It felt as if he had just heard something that made him alert. 

Eli swallowed hard, her throat felt sore. He didn't know what he should do now, seeing James who seemed to ignore him and was busy again with the things he had to arrange in the refrigerator. 

"What should I do now? It seems like he doesn't like it if I ask too many questions. But, if I don't ask, I'll die of curiosity!" His mind was in turmoil. Even though she was afraid and doubtful, Eli decided to approach James and hoped that this silence would soon leave him. 

"What if I help you?" Eli offered herself to help James. He hoped that James would ask him to do something more useful so that he would stop thinking too much. 

"I'm going to cook Risotto, you can help me cut this meat!" He said as he handed a bench of raw meat into Eli's hands. 

"Okay!" Eli was relieved. At least for a few moments he could get his head out of bad thoughts. 

James gave him a butcher knife, bamboo cutting board and a bowl. Eli thought she would do this task happily. However, when he opened the plastic bag, he felt nauseous and almost vomited.

"Ugh...why do I suddenly want to vomit?" He thought. He could feel the food in his stomach starting to rise to his throat. 

It was just a pile of red raw meat, but the fishy smell of blood was still very strong. Eli really hates the smell of raw meat and blood. Even though he really wanted to vomit, of course he couldn't do it now because he was afraid that James would think that he was too spoiled. 

"Ugh... how is this? I can't stand it!" Somehow, the image of Kerry's face hanging from the bedroom ceiling appeared in his head. 

His body began to tremble as he recalled Kerry's terrible condition. His eyes bulged until his eyeballs almost popped out and aimed right at the bed where Soraya was sleeping. It was as if he kept watching Eli all night and the worst thing was that she slept with the body of her dead roommate. 

Treeekkk... 

His shaking hands caused the knife to slip from his grasp and fall to the floor. Eli immediately looked at her with a flat face which made Eli uncomfortable. Awkwardly, Soraya bent down and picked up the knife that was right near her feet. 

"S-sorry, I accidentally dropped it!" 

"Are you okay? Your face is very pale!" 

"I'm fine! No need to worry, I-" He stammered. He wants to continue this and help until it is finished. He didn't want to just be a burden to this man who had helped him many times. 

"If you're not feeling well, you should just sleep! I'll wake you up when the food is ready!" 

"No, I'm fine! I really want to help. You've cooked delicious food for me several times because of that-"

"Can you cook?"

"I'm not very good at cooking. I only cook foods that are easy to make like eggs, toast and instant pasta."

"Is that so?" 

"Yes!" Eli looked down embarrassed. She felt that she was very pathetic because she was not good at things that women should be able to master. Beside him, James did his work by going up. He cut vegetables and green onions very skillfully. That made Soraya at a loss for words. 

"Then I can't expect you to cook!" 

"Th-that I thought I would learn, so-" Soraya felt even more embarrassed. She felt very useless as a female driver. 

"It's okay if you can't do it! You don't have to be able to do everything. But, at least you can do it for yourself. If you're in a difficult situation and you're alone, you can survive with the skills you have." you have." He said in a soft tone of voice. Soraya was amazed, she glanced at Robert for a few seconds just to see his face. 

Excited... 

His heart was beating fast. This man, just a few minutes ago looked cold and scary. But in a short time, he looked so warm. Soraya lowered her face again, she couldn't hold back her feelings. 

"Why are you so nice to me?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do you want me as your wife? I'm very useless. I'm stupid, lousy and careless. But the worst thing is, I always bring bad luck to the people around me. I think that's the problem you're facing now. this is the effect of my bad luck!" His voice was shaking. Soraya tried to keep her from crying. 

Beside him, James was silent and didn't know what he should say to make Soraya feel a little better. 

"What happened to me has absolutely nothing to do with you!"

"But I-"

"Listen! If you want to ask the reason why I chose you, haven't I told you before? I won't repeat what I've already said. But, if you want to know whether all the problems that happened were because of your bad luck, maybe that's not completely wrong !"

"Ha?"

"Sometimes, we are forced to admit mistakes simply because we are always in difficult situations involving other people. When someone starts blaming us for the sadness and hurt that befell them, we start to wonder if it was because of our presence? That continues every time a problem occurs. If something is continuously said and our brain is forced to accept it, over time we will be influenced and really think that our existence is a mistake need to blame themselves, that's how they think they are will be saved in that way. In this world there are no humans who bring bad luck, there is only the fate of every human being that has been determined."

***