Chapter 28 dreams about him
I ignored Lyra who was knocking on my door and decided to sleep. My heat was setting in and I didn't want her to enter and know that I was in heat.
I closed my eyes for a second but was unable to sleep so I turned around on the bed and faced the window.
It was a full moon.
A full moon.
The moment I stared at it, my heart beat quickened and sweat collected around my forehead immediately. I took in large breaths and knew it that I was damn screwed up.
It was here.
The warmth that had been simmering beneath my skin spread until it felt like my veins were glowing. My pulse thundered in my ears. Every sound in the quiet house sharpened , the creak of the floorboards, the ticking of the clock, even my own uneven breathing. The scent of the night air drifted through the window, thick and wild, and my body reacted as if it carried something meant only for me.
My fingers trembled as I pressed a hand against my chest. The heat wasn’t just warmth anymore; it was a demand. Something primal wanted out to run, to find him. My mate who didn’t want me at all.
I knew it but I couldn’t stop myself.
I stumbled from the bed, my knees weak and my heart pounding so hard it hurt. The room was stifling. I needed air, space, anything to cool the fire spreading through me. Yes Alpha Leander refused me to get out of the room at night but I couldn’t control my body.
Without thinking twice, I pushed the door open. The corridor beyond was dim and silent. No was around, not even the guards.
I had no thoughts of escaping but I smiled when I stepped outside. The cold hit me like a blessing. I gasped, letting the moonlight pour over my skin. The forest shimmered silver at the edges of my vision, calling to me in a voice older than thought. Run, it whispered. Run. My wolf stirred, restless, clawing against my ribs.
But before I could take that first step off the porch, another sound cut through the night , a low moan, soft at first, then louder.
My breath caught. Why was the moon goddess really testing me?.
For a second, I froze, unsure if my mind was playing cruel tricks because of the heat. But then another sound followed, unmistakable this time , a breathy sigh, a low murmur of his voice.
Xavier.
The name burned through my chest. My legs moved before I could think, driven by something raw and reckless. The moans were coming from the common room.
I told myself to turn back, but the sound drew me closer, each footstep silent on the cold floor until I reached the open doorway.
There they were.
They were kissing. The sight hit me like a physical blow. My pulse staggered, my breath faltered. For a moment I couldn’t move, couldn’t think. The world blurred around the edges, the heat inside me colliding with something colder. He made me suck his dick during the day and now he was with Renee.
I froze more when I watched his broad shoulders move slightly as he leaned closer to Renee’s neck, then lower to her breasts. This was so serious for heaven’s sake.
He didn’t even glance my way but I knew it that he could smell me that I was around watching him. To him, I was nothing and he probably left the door open for me to watch.
I stood frozen for some good time not until when Renee’s eyes opened then, caught mine across the room. For a heartbeat we stared at each other then her mouth curved into a small, knowing smirk. I froze, every muscle rigid. The message in that look was clear: she saw me, she knew, and she’d won and she didn’t bother to inform alpha that I was around.
The heat pulsed again. Angry now and humiliated, I turned away before she could see the tears that stung my eyes. I ran straight to my room and fall on the bed. I was so hurt.
The moment I laid perfectly on the bed, the sobs came without warning. They tore out of me in shaky gasps that I tried to muffle with the pillow, but they kept coming anyway, quiet and broken sounds that echoed through the empty room.
Why was he doing that to me?
He knew it that I am in my heat then decided to watch me suffer.
I pressed my hand against my chest, trying to steady my heart, but it only beat harder, faster. The image of Xavier leaning into Renee replayed again and again, like a cruel loop I couldn’t escape. His hand on her neck. The sound of her moans. The way his body curved protectively around hers, the way it should have been with me.
The bond tugged painfully, an invisible thread twisting deep inside me, pulling toward him even as I wanted to tear it apart. I curled tighter into myself, biting down hard on my lip to stop another sob.
Why did it hurt this much? Why did the moon have to rise tonight, of all nights?
Every instinct screamed that I should go to him, that he was mine. But reason, faint and trembling, told me otherwise. He had chosen someone else. He had rejected me long before this night, and now he was proving it in the most brutal way possible.
My sobs quieted after a while, turning into shallow breaths that scraped against my throat. My body still trembled, feverish beneath the sheets. No matter how tightly I wrapped the blanket around myself, the heat didn’t fade, it only grew, pressing against my skin from the inside out.
I closed my eyes, hoping to shut it all out, the ache, the humiliation, the image of him with her. But the darkness behind my eyelids only made everything sharper. I could still smell his scent in the air, faint and maddening, like smoke and pine and something darker that clung to my senses.
My mind drifted far away, into the hazy edges of the dream world. The line between reality and longing blurred until I couldn’t tell which one I stood in anymore.
Xavier was there.
He stood in the same moonlight that had spilled through my window moments ago, silver light tracing the hard lines of his face, the quiet power in the way he moved. His eyes found mine, those same golden eyes that burned and froze me all at once.
In the dream, he wasn’t cold. He wasn’t distant. He stepped closer, and the air around us shimmered with the energy of the bond, thick and alive.
I watched as he made his way to my bedside. In shock, I watched as his shirtless physique stood over my little frame. He looked down at my body; a devious yet lustful smirk appeared on his face, as if he was up to no good.
This is madness!
I wanted to scream out, urge him to stop this insanity. However, my words became obsolete when his fingers touched my bare stomach, leaving behind the fire of his intimate touch. My body froze, unable to tell him to discontinue his touch.
Please. Don't. Do. That.
My doubts suddenly became scrambled in a sea of blissful thoughts and seductions when his fingers slipped between my clamped thighs.
"Alpha Xavier, please." I fought to hold back the temptation however it became too much to bare. Each touch, each exciting touch forced me to part my thighs a little more.
He leaned in over me. His examining eyes looked over me but his fingers never left my sensitive clit. I closed my eyes and exhaled, releasing an unplanned moan when his fingers slid into my moist opening.
The air around me thinned out and the room's temperature began to rise. His fingers felt like magic, I could only imagine the ecstasy and high his fingers would bring me to.
This is just a dream.
I had to remind myself that this was all just a twisted dream. That this was all just my fucked up imagination.
Despite this all being a figment of my weak mind due to my body's reaction to my heat, I still could not fight my mind's devilish illusions nor fight the fire that soared through my insides.
"Please."
My fingers latched onto the thin material under my body as my heart forced itself against my chest repeatedly. My mind was begging for him to stop however my body was given a different demand. My body arched up, greeting his hand with my own thrust. In. Out. In.
"Alpha!"
"Cum for me." He ignored my plea and advised me to release myself.
"No-"
"Now!"
I rose from my bed. Heat left behind the struggle to inhale and perspiration that blanketed my body. A growl rumbled from the back of my throat as I stood to my feet.
Saying that the dreams was just mind's illusions would definitely be an understatement. I was waking up in the middle of the night with a sweaty forehead and moist underwear. This was more than a dream, it was a damn problem.
I hate myself.
I walked into the bathroom. The white marble faucets creaked as I turned the water on. Right on cue, clear water sprinkled from the shower head, quickly fogging the bathroom window and mirrors.
After my rinsing, I dried my hair and body before I slipped into the sheet set and stared up at the moon lit ceiling.
"I need to fix this." I whispered but my pussy in reality was pulsating with need for a release.