Two

Harry:

“Can I drive your jeep?” Seth asked.

I glared back at him. “Considering I’m the only one who didn’t drink, I’m going to go with no.”

“Fine.” Seth opened the back door and crawled into the seat. Yeah, definitely not about to hand over my keys to him. I got in the driver’s seat and buckled my seatbelt, then glanced in my rearview mirror in time to catch Seth pulling out a cigarette.

“Hey! No smoking in my vehicle. You want to smoke you drive yourself to the Den from now on,” I snapped.

“Relax, Harry. I’m just smelling it. Geez, you really are a buzz kill.” He rolled the cigarette under his nose and looked outside the window.

“All right, so you really think classic entree is the way to go?” Lance asked, bringing the conversation back to more pressing issues.

“Yeah, like I said. We play it safe and go crazy with the dessert. Deal?”

Lance nodded in agreement, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I wasn’t in the mood to fight today. The stress of the upcoming exams were weighing heavy on my mind. “How about you, Seth?” I called to the back.

“Whatever you guys want is fine. Hey, do you think that blonde chick would go out with me?”

“What blonde chick?” I asked, looking at him through my rearview mirror. He was still smelling his cigarette. It was weird.

“You know. The bartender. She smiled when I came in.”

“She probably smiles at everyone,” Lance said. “It’s called customer service.”

“Yeah, but she held eye contact with me. Maybe she’s into gingers.” I snorted at his optimism. “Hey! She could be.” Seth sounded hurt, and I immediately felt bad.

“You’re right, she could be. I stand corrected.”

“Oh stop with the bull shit, man,” Lance said then stretched as best he could with his seat belt on and turned around so Seth could see him. “Look, I am not about to sugar coat any of this for you. She’s not into you, Seth. She was trying as hard as she could to get Mr. Textbook’s attention, but he barely even looked at her.” Lance snapped the back of his fingers against my upper arm.

“What are you talking about?” I said, my eyes on the road to avoid Lance’s smart-ass expression.

“She didn’t smile when we walked in. She lit up when you walked in. Seriously, have you been too close to the microwave lately? Radiation messing with your head? Can you not see when a girl likes you?”

I tore my gaze away from the road momentarily and gave Lance an incredulous look. “She doesn’t like me. She doesn’t even know me.”

“I don’t know her, but I want to know her!” Seth shouted from the back. “Harry, mind if I ask her out?”

“You don’t need my permission, man. I’m not with her. I don’t even know her name.”

“You’re right. Lance, do you know her name?” Seth asked.

“No idea.”

“I bet it’s something exotic like…” Seth thought for a moment. “Esther.”

“Esther?” Lance scoffed. “How is Esther exotic? Sounds like a name my grandmother would have.”

“Exactly. It’s unexpected. I’m going to ask her out.”

Lance and I exchanged a glance and continued to talk about recipes the rest of the way.

“All right, buddy. Here’s your stop.” I pulled over in front of Seth’s apartment to drop him off.

“Thanks! I’ll see you guys next week.” Seth didn’t hesitate. The moment he closed the car door, he lit up his cigarette and strolled to the door of his apartment building.

I waved good-bye and pulled away.

“He really has a warped sense of reality.” Lance shook his head. “I feel bad for him. That girl would never go out with him.”

“Yeah, well, stranger things have happened. Maybe they’ll be very happy together. Who knows?”

“You know who else has a warped sense of reality?”

I turned my signal on and crossed lanes. “Who?” I asked, vaguely interested. Lance was okay, but aside from school, we didn’t have too much in common.

“You.”

“Why’s that?”

“Look, man, I don’t know you all that well, but I do know when a girl is interested. You’re single. Why not go out with her? What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Oh!” I said somewhat startled. “No… uh… she’s not my type,” I lied. She was beautiful and seemed rather sweet. But I had shut the door on relationships a while ago. I simply wasn’t ready and doubted I ever would be.

“Oh…” Lance said slowly. “I had no idea. It’s cool I get it now.”

“Get what?”

“You’re gay,” Lance said simply.

“What? No! I am not gay. I mean, it’s cool if people are, no judgement at all, but I’m straight as an arrow.”

“So, you’re single. You’re straight, and you won’t even consider a date with the hot bartender who looks at you like you’ve got super powers.”

“She does not look at me like that.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s complicated.”

“Well, I guess the last girl really messed you up, huh?”

I looked at Lance, wanting to argue that it was me who had messed her up. But because I’m a coward I simply swallowed and nodded. “Yeah. That’s it.”