Chapter 32

Chapter 32


Dera 

I totally had made a fool of myself yet again. The instruction was to stay away from this side of the castle. Even Amara had always made certain that she avoided it but not I. I had let my curiosity get in the way of everything and now, I had faced what I deserved or at least what the moon goddess and Alpha Eric felt I deserve. The punishment of falling down the stairs was definitely from the moon goddess for snooping into another's business when I clearly had my own things to handle and that really hurt. With every bump, it felt like I was on the brink of passing out and I really needed to fix that. I landed with a thud as my head connected with the wall sending my entire insides to a shock. And I understood that this was my punishment.

However, Alpha Eric had reacted differently. I would dare say that he was really worried about me from the way he rushed over and tried to get me. He checked me and I dare say that his idea of punishment was quite pleasurable as I found myself in a short time kissing away at his beautiful lips. It felt really good and at the same time, I was yearning for more. Something about being with him and in his arms made everything seem okay. Like it was the perfect moment for me. I had not complained one bit but right now, I felt a fire of desire burning inside of me.

I gave it all up eventually as we started leaving the area. There was someone coming and Alpha Eric started taking me back, around the castle. I was ashamed at this point and embarrassed that I had stumbled on that moment but then, something about it made me really upset. It was almost like I was feeling a little too jealous about the fact that another woman had him in a few minutes ago. How on earth could he have been okay with her? I thought he kissed me because he liked me? Maybe, I should have resisted him when he had come to me but the need for his touch by far outweighed my desire to be mad at him. Instead, I was blaming myself for making that mistake.

Perhaps, I would say that I was slowly becoming my mother who all my life, I had blamed for her blind loyalty to my father who clearly did not deserve it one bit. She would receive all his humiliation like she did not matter at all and yet defend him when I try to speak ill of him. She would come up with a number of excuses.

"Do not say that. He's your father, yes but you do realize that he's the pack's Alpha. He's got a lot on his shoulders and the least we can do for him is show loyalty." She would say and I felt really mad.

Was being the pack Alpha meaning that he should be an ass? 

"But mother, he's different from my brothers. He treats them so well that sometimes, I wonder if he was my father." I would say and she would cast a glance at me. The expression of hurt clearly embedded on her face as she looked at me like I had just said the most unimaginable thing ever. I still wonder what goes on through her mind most of those times.

"Would you insult me too now, Dera? You saying that he's not your father is the same thing as calling me a whore." She would respond. One thing mother has always been great at is the fact that she knew how to twist my words and extract a different idea from every thought and yet, I still expected she would be the one person that would come to understand me.

"No, never, mother. I didn't mean it that way, I swear." I would plead.

"Then never utter such nonsense again. Your father treats you this way because you're the most important. Someday, you would be married off and you would represent our entire pack somewhere. He looks to you to retain our glorious name and that cannot happen if he's too sweet on you. You are the most precious thing here and we all look towards you to be a good girl." She would say.

Clearly, her words were totally aimed at pacifying me and nothing else. At first, I had totally believed her that I was more important than my brothers. It lasted until I came to meet Amara whose father had a totally different way of raising. I never bought her stories and once believed that her father did not love her like mine did until I started getting closer and realising the sacrifice he was willing to make for her despite her being his only child. Amara made me at the time believe that my father was cruel but all that went away when I was married. He became the most important thing in my life.

Right now, I suddenly bumped into something hard and I realised that while I had been browsing this my past, Alpha Eric had ceased moving and I had totally missed out on that. He turned immediately and he felt me as he caught me.

"Are you okay, Dera?" He asked me.

"Yes. I'm fine. I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." I said to him,

He gazed into my eyes and I was already beginning to feel that nudge of emotions flowing between us. I was ready to kiss him but I needed to make it stop for now. Well, he beat me to it as he let go and I stood still, feeling really embarrassed that he was the one that had taken notice and did what was needed. Before I would speak again, he was already saying something.

"I've been intending to ask you this for sometime, but what happens when you sniff the air? You always have this surprised look when someone shows up and sometimes, I dare say that you don't notice. Is there a problem?" He asked me.

"Not a problem. Actually, there is a lot of scent left lingering. It is sometimes really hard to focus on the one closest. I just don't get how you all do it and I'm sorry if that is a problem." I said to him,

"No, you shouldn't apologise. I already told you to blame me instead of apologising. As for that, it is something you should be trained on. To channel all your senses into something of focus. Did you ever receive training of any sorts?" He asked me.

"Any sorts? My mom taught me how to cook meals and tidy chores. I'm sorry, but does that count?" I asked him.

He smiled at me and then started speaking again. "Not necessarily but that's actually something. Maybe someday, you would interest me in your meal but that's only if you let me assist. But what I'm referring to is something to help with self defense at least."

"No. Nothing like that." I responded.

It was really sad. I recalled how Amara used to show off what she learnt. She was actually a badass in fighting and I have seen her in school competitions.

"Well, do you want to learn anything?" He asked me.

"I thought it's for men only." I responded.

"You know what, I'll teach you everything that I can and we'll start with your sense of smell. I would teach you how to focus on a scent and who knows, it might really help you someday. And Dera, nothing is for only men. A woman deserves the right to learn things too." He said to me,

Imagine him teaching me, that would be awesome. I was just thinking about it when I remembered our habits of kissing each other. I knew deep down that when that time comes, I would not be able to resist.

"When would we start then?" I asked him.

He smiled, looking really proud that he had convinced me or something. I also was actually interested in learning a thing or two. I knew I would never be able to fight. I was actually really weak at stuff like that but it would be really nice to sniff the air and locate a particular thing. I would probably be able to sniff around and know where Alpha Eric was.

"Well, we are starting the basics right now. And guess what, I'm going to start you off with your favourite flowers. Come with me." He said and I thought he would start walking so I would follow.

That was not what actually happened because he reached over as he took my hand in his, pulling me along with him and I did not even try to resist.

We got there and it dawned on me that for the rest of the morning, I would be here with him. It was also overwhelming, the scent of cinnamon and honey. If only he knew that right now, he was actually my favourite scent actually.