Chapter 48

Chapter 48
Aurelia's POV

The holidays passed in a blur. Days just kept passing by each other and I barely noticed how fast time was going. I continually promised myself that I would read or write or at least clean out my closet, but most mornings I stayed in bed until the sun struggled through the curtains.

I was alone most of the time, except when the housekeepers came in to clean twice a week.

Killian also visited me twice but stayed upstairs both times, quietly enough he must have realized I was not home. He always waited for a moment, then left without a word. I almost wanted him to confront me, to command me to stop hiding, but he did not.

That somehow made it all worse.

I was supposed to hate him because he was dangerous, yet here I was, wanting him.

These days, I also hardly talk to Tasha or Audrey. They were closer now even though I was the reason they were friends. They were taking pictures at hangouts and group chats that I wasn't included in. I scrolled through their pages and told myself it was not a big deal even though it was.

Luckily, I had Leo and I hung out with him whenever he was done with work. Sometimes we binged whatever shows until late, he filled me in on his day, and sometimes we just sat with our phones. It was still better than being alone and thinking about Killian.

Honestly, it sucked that I could not keep him out of my head.

I did not say anything to Ivy about that night with Killian. I pushed it out of my head like it never happened. The wedding was this weekend, and that stayed in the back of my head, but I kept pushing it aside.

Today was unlike the rest. My internship began, and I needed to wake up even though all I wanted to do was remain beneath the blankets. I stayed there for a bit, looking at the ceiling, before I made myself get out of bed.

I went into the bathroom, took a quick shower and then stepped back out. The floor was cold under my feet as I crossed to the wardrobe. I hadn't considered what I would wear, so I fished around until I found creaseless black trousers and a pale blue shirt. The shirt was slightly loose-fitting, but it would have to do. I brushed my hair until it looked decent and tied it back.

I didn't drive because even though I had a license I did not trust myself. I had had way too many car crashes. We had drivers, but they worked for my dad before he died, and even though they were still paid, calling them felt like inviting him into my day.

I ordered an Uber that was going to arrive in 20 minutes. Then, I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked through the quiet house.

In the kitchen, I fetched a cup of water and drank it all. The cold woke me up some more. I put the cup in the sink and wiped my hands on a towel.

I scrolled through my phone as I waited. No messages from Tasha or Audrey even though I texted them yesterday that I was starting an internship. There were a few first-day-at-work memes from Leo, and a message from my Stepmom that I didn't open. I shut the screen and put the phone back in my bag.

The Uber pulled up just then. It was a silver sedan with the back window rolled down. I went outside and closed the door behind me. The driver nodded as I said my name, and I climbed into the back seat.

Houses and shops passed by. I tried not to think about the weekend. Ivy would walk down an aisle and smile for people who didn't know the truth and Killian would be there as if nothing was wrong. I leaned my head against the window and told myself not to care.

Would Ivy have called it off if I told her I fucked Killian before?

I checked the time. If traffic stayed light, I'd be early. I hated being late.

The city outside looked the same as always. Buses clogged the road, people hailed down cabs, and a man yelled at another driver for switching lanes. I let the sounds stay on the other side of the glass.

The driver asked if the address was right. I said yes, my voice low, and he fell quiet again. That was fine.

I tried to imagine what the first day would be like when I got in. Would I just be the new girl in the company? I wondered if anyone there would be my age, if I'd have to sit by myself at lunch. The thought made my stomach tighten, but I pushed it aside.

The car pulled over next to a tall building with tinted windows. The driver signaled. I thanked him and got out.

I stood on the sidewalk for a moment, holding my bag strap and reading the sign next to the door.

J.B. Petroleum

People walked in and out with quick steps and polite smiles as though they all knew where they were going. I breathed deeply and moved forward.

The air inside smelled vaguely of coffee and something sterile. A receptionist glanced up. "Here for the internship?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, giving my name.

She handed me a visitor badge and pointed toward the elevators.

While I waited, I saw my reflection on the polished floor. Same blue shirt, same black pants. The doors slid open and I stepped in with two other individuals who didn't glance at me.

The elevator was quiet except for a low humming sound. I thought about Ivy and how she couldn't look me in the eye after that night. This weekend she'd be standing next to the man she said she'd married to save me. I didn't know if she was scared or if she'd gotten herself to feel nothing. It was maybe the only way to deal.