Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty
The walk with George turned out to be quite pleasant. After bringing up in depth family secrets with him felt unusally relieving. Sometimes with George, it felt like we had known each other for years. Despite his rigidness at times, speaking with him on such intimate levels felt natural. I was able to talk to him in a way that I could not talk to Mason. As soon as I think back to Mason I begin wondering about my parents again. Are they fighting? How is Mason? Have they told him? Has Dad blamed Mum?
After my walk with George, I retired to my room promptly, thinking deeply about whether to head back home for the weekend just to see how Mum and Dad are coping. I could notice my worry steering more towards the stability of my parent's relationship rather than Mason's unawareness. Either way I felt I was betraying him in such a bitter way, and the worse part was that it was no longer a sibling betrayal. After all, our blood was no longer of truth but more rather one big cover up by two parents who wanted to make fake happiness.

I place my room keys on the bedside table, the door number tag laying flatly against the sleek wooden surface. I stare at it for a moment, trying to picture the last student who resided here once. Were they happy in this room? Did they sit within these four walls with the similar worries that I now endure? The thoughts because more odd by the day but with George around, things somehow begin to seem just a little bit clearer. Knowing George was like a breath of fresh air but there was still a vague oddness about him. I had not known him long enough to judge him properly as a character, although I was not the judgmental type of person to begin with.
I turn towards the small plasma screen televison which hung neatly on the blue painted wall, picking up the remote in my small hands which still tingled from the outside cold air. As I begin flicking through the channels, I hear a knock at my door and my heart stops for a second, the remote slipping from my finger tips. The remote hits the ground but I barely hear the thud, my eyes pinned to my student door as I hear a loud sigh from the other side of it.

"Alana..."

Wait. Is that...?

"Alana, it's me. It's Mason. Open the door."

Oh my goodness.

I found my feet stuck to the carpet. I can't move. Why is Mason here? My heart begins to hammer a hundred miles per hour, my hands standing up, creating endless goosebumps up both arms. I can fele chills travelling up my spine and my through goes dry and I begin to lick my bottom lip. My nervous habit instantly returning whenever I am near him.

"Alana, fuck...please. I know you're in there."

I quickly rush to the door, my breath hitching as my hand clasps around the door handle, pulling it open and here I stand my face suddenly inches from his. I find him standing there, just breathless and staring at me with wide eyes. He looks desperate, lost. Scared?

"Mason...?

"Let me in. Please." His voice comes out raspy and I find it hard to resist, my arm extending, opening the door wider.

"Come in." I say as he steps through, his arm gently brushing agaisnt mine as he passes. I find my heart stopping right in it's tracks. Why on earth is he here? Please don't tell me my parents told him. How will I play this down? Is he angry with me?

"Alana, I..." He begins as I gently close the door, turning the lock. I can feel his body tensing up along with my own. His short pause between his words makes me grow more and more anxious as I wait for the rest to come. Please tell me he doesn't know. Not yet. I don't think I could handle it. How would I possibly explain.
When I glance up at his face, I can see a tear rolling from his right eye, his eyes fixed to the ground and his skin looks cold. I watch as his Adam's apple jerks for a moment as though he is trying to hold in sobs. I feel for him. I so feel for him but I have to stop myself from rushing to him and clasping him into a hug. I need to remember my place.

"I couldn't do it." He finally says, his breath coming out like he has been holding it in.

"You couldn't do what...?"

"Be away from you. How are you doing it, Alana? How can you be away from me like this?"

Despite his endless questions, i decide to ask something else. "How did you get here!? Home is miles away!"

"My mate drove me, look forget that. Fucking answer me." He says, running his fingers through his brown hair.

"I don't-" He cuts me off before I can continue.

"Don't you miss me!?" He exclaims, whipping round to face me and his eyes are desperate like a child who has missed being away from his Mother. Seeing this look on his face casts a trange emotion over me which I cannot quite describe. Although, I am sure guilt is somehow wrapped within the feeling.

"Mason I...it's...it's only Univeristy. you know I have had this planned for months now."

"Yes but, but how can you be away form me and not even care!? After everything we have been doing!"

"Mason, you kept kissing me, toying with me and whatever else! You know how many times I have been pushing you away. Please don't try to make this seem like it's mutual. It is not." Once the words leave my mouth I instantly feel the regret seeping through my blood as his jaw practically hits the floor. I can almsot feel his hurt, his utter pain, the pausing of his bitter heart that he very rarely seems to function.
"I...Mason, I didn't mean it like that." I try to say, hoping I could suck the words right back into my mouth. Why are we both even doing this!? What even is all this. Why has he travelled all this way?