Chapter 3 — Pretty Words, Pretty Lies

Violet.

After school, I stepped into the quiet of the Weber High Library, inhaling the comforting, familiar scent of aging paper and worn books. That old book smell always relaxed me, taking me back to happier times.

When I was little, my mother would read to me, surrounded by towering stacks in the local library. I'd fall asleep nestled against her, lulled by her voice and the cozy vanilla scent of old pages. Those were the days before the storm, before the secrets caught up to us, shattering our lives forever.

My mother had bright red hair, an easy smile and I swore she hung the sun in the sky. Always cheerful and happy, she became tight-lipped when I asked about my father. Under the onslaught of my questions, her eyes would cloud over with a mixture of sadness and reluctance. Through her actions, she let me know that the subject was off-limits, a forbidden door I was never allowed to open. The more I pressed, the tighter she clammed up. I soon knew better than to ask. I wanted her beautiful smile not her dark frown.

The day I found her lifeless body, still warm in her bed, was the worst day of my life. Awakened by a thunderstorm, I crawled next to her, asking her to put an arm around me and shield me from the flashing lighting that ripped through the sky. When she didn’t move…when I failed to wake her, I knew she was gone.

Thunder rumbled like the fear in my heart, and raindrops hammered against the windows. It was as if the heavens themselves wept for her passing and my bleak future.

The authorities were never able to tell me how she died or what she died of. With no relatives to care for me, I was taken from the only home I had ever known and thrown into the impersonal arms of the foster care system.

Like a tiny ship navigating through treacherous rocks, each foster family offered a different harbor, but none could replace the love and care of my mother. I moved like a spirit from home to home, looking for an anchor.

Years passed, and when I turned fourteen, I got the news that I’d been placed in a new home. A care center this time, filled with two boys, a girl, and a woman who was happy to collect the money she received for our care, but little else.

In this new home, the boys aged-out and left two months after I arrived. But my new friend, Sam, stayed.

Sam became my confidante. The only friend I’d ever made. In the late hours of the night, when the world slept, Sam and I would speak long into the night about our experiences… our hopes and dreams. She also became my protector against Jasmine and her cronies. For some reason, Jasmine didn’t dare cross Sam.

But Sam wasn’t around me all the time. That was why I kept myself flying under Jasmine’s radar. And no matter what that witch said or did to try and ruin my day, I could escape among the shelves and lose myself in printed adventures.

I needed the respite after Jasmine tripped me in the hallway yesterday after lunch. Payback for looking at David in math class she said. My books went flying, and of course, everyone laughed. I was mortified, but at least I didn’t give her the satisfaction of crying.

Jasmine hated me ever since freshman year when I took a scarf from the lost and found that had been in the box for months. Only when she saw me wearing it to walk home in the cold did she make a full-on-stink with tears, accusing me of stealing it. I was made to apologize, even after I tried to explain it wasn’t really my fault.

No one would listen. Money and privilege held sway in Weber Falls. The poorer you were, the less power you had.

Yeah, it was from that day on that Jasmine started in on me. She began with taunts and insults, but lately her bullying contained a tinge of violence. It all started when she caught me watching David from the bleachers during football practice. She stormed up the metal steps, demanding why I was ogling him. I tried to get away, but she pushed me. I fell on the risers, scraping my knee. Her friends laughed as they walked away and left me bleeding.

That was a month ago. Since then, I’ve done my best to remain invisible -slinking down the hallways, sitting in the farthest corner of the cafeteria on Tuesdays, and the rest of the week coming here.

My sanctuary.

Running my fingers along the worn spines, I made my way to my favorite chair. Comfy and springy, I loved to tuck my feet under me and lose myself in my book for an hour while I waited for Sam. She had ROTC practice after school. Then it was back to the drudgery that was our lives. Chores at the foster home. Homework after. Then we’d wake up and do it all over again.

“At least we have the movie to look forward to,” I reasoned.

With a sigh, I opened my book. Soon the hushed chatter of the outside world faded away as I lost myself in the windswept English countryside. A strand of hair fell across my face, and I brushed it back absently, too engrossed to care about my appearance. No one in here cared what I looked like anyway.

Deep in the scene where the handsome knight duke it out with a monster to win the hand of his fair lady, I didn't notice the hushed voices growing louder until I recognized one. I looked up and saw David Madden standing by the entrance with several of his teammates. He looked mouthwatering in black jeans and a fitted white shirt that detailed the muscles in his strong arms. His friends were dressed similarly, but David was all I saw.

The librarian, Ms. Sorenson, a thin woman in her thirties, shushed them half-heartedly, giving up as they ignored her pleas. Sighing, I hunched down in my chair, wishing I was truly invisible.

David’s group barged into the library. Their boisterous voices echoed off the high ceilings. Echoes of “Shhh!” rang out as they admonished each other in stage whispers.

“Come on, pick up the pace, grandma!” David said, ‘You knew your history paper was due tomorrow. Shudda checked out that book ages ago. Coach is gonna be pissed if we don’t show up for practice on time.”

I couldn't help a small smile at their antics… until I noticed where they were heading.

Straight. Towards. Me.

I peered over my book, watching as David came closer while his friends stayed in place, pulling books off a shelf at random. My heart seized. I broke out in a nervous sweat, half-glad and half-ashamed I’d chosen to wear an old sweatshirt and faded jeans. Sure it would cover up the sweat pooling in my armpits, but it did nothing to showcase the few curves I had.

As David walked by my nook, his gaze fell on me. Our eyes locked for a heartbeat before I lowered mine, a furious blush spreading across my cheeks. Caught staring, I wished I could melt into the faded pages of the love story I held in my hands.

He continued on without a backward glance, already forgetting the mousy girl in the corner. His friends' laughter followed them through the stacks as I sat frozen, thawing slowly in the lingering wake of his presence.

I tried to return to my book, but my thoughts kept straying to David. What would it be like to have the easy confidence he radiated? To command attention with just a look or a smile?

Lost in my musings, I startled at the honeyed sound of his smooth voice.

“Whatcha reading?” I glanced up to find him leaning against the shelf beside my chair, scanning the cover of my book with a raised brow. Like most chilly days, he’d worn his Varsity jacket. It looked great on him, the navy blue bringing out his eyes. I tried not to stare at the way the leather stretched across his broad shoulders, or how his dark hair curled just so against the collar.

A blush spread across my cheeks.

“He's just being friendly,” I said to myself. “Stop gawking at him.”

But my treacherous heart couldn't help pounding faster at his nearness. The subtle scent of his woodsy cologne made my head spin.

“Oh, um...” I stammered, my tongue tangling over the words. ”It's, uh, nothing really.”

My mind raced with words I couldn’t… wouldn’t say. “It's a book filled with smut and I can't tell you how many times I imagined you as the knight and me as your only love.”

“Hmm, seems like you are really into it,” he said, and I tried to still my racing heart at the suggestion in his words. “You’ve hardly moved in the last five minutes.”

He was looking at me? Why? Did he notice me as much as I noticed him?

Instead of asking, I just nodded mutely, heat flooding my cheeks. An awkward beat passed between us.

“Come on Violet, say something,” I berated myself. “Make him see you as more than just an idiot!”

“So hey, you're Violet, right?” he asked, rubbing the back of his neck. Again, I mutely nodded, mentally kicking myself for seeming so tongue-tied.

“Cool, cool.” He cleared his throat. ”Well... um, you're good in Math and all that yeah?”

“Y-yes,” I managed to stutter out, willing my uncooperative tongue to say something, anything, to keep him talking to me. What I wouldn’t give for a tongue that worked right now.

“Well...” David started, but just then Fergus Blaize poked his head full of brown curls around the corner.

“Come on, Madden, I found it. Let's go,” Fergus said, glancing at me briefly before focusing on David.

I watched helplessly as David walked away with his friend.

“I should have said more. I should’ve been more interesting,” I chided myself.

Stupid, non-working mouth.

As I tried to calm my racing heart, their raucous laughter carried over from the other side of the library. I glanced over to see David and his friends at the check-out desk. Like at lunch yesterday, he was telling them an animated story. Seemed to be at my expense based on the smirks they kept throwing my way.

I heard David say “Violet” and “weird” then he mocked my inarticulate responses by compressing his lips, closing his eyes, and shaking his head back and forth like a toddler refusing broccoli.

His friends guffawed. My face burned with humiliation. Of course David had just been playing a joke on the school weirdo.

Blinking back tears, I gathered my things and rushed from the library, his careless words echoing in my mind. So much for thinking someone like David Madden would ever see me as anything more than a punchline.

Author for this work: N. Saxton ©2024, All rights reserved.