Chapter 169
AMELIA
The door slammed behind me the moment I entered the room. Ren used his force to shut it close. He was completely healed, and freshly showered, but that did not seem to be the issue. He was royally pissed at me.
“Why didn’t you wait until I came to pick you up?”
“And then what?”
“Okay.” I straightened my back. “What’s going on with you?”
His eyes remained ablaze in anger. “I want you to answer me honestly. Why did you come back home, Amelia?”
“What are you talking about?” I walked closer to him until we were within arm’s reach.
“Did you come back to heal your brother or to show Ryden that you’re not the weak girl he once knew?”
“You know why I went away, and if the reason why I went back to show off I should have done that before my brother got nearly killed. You know me.”
“Then what the fuck are you doing?” The way his jaw ticked, he was furious with something else.
“I’m confused. Can you be more a little specific on why are you pissed at me right now? So I can answer you directly instead of guessing it with you.”
“Why are you hanging out with Lucius? I almost got killed looking for you because you were not answering my call, and I couldn’t find you.”
I swallowed hard. “I was not hanging out with him. I went to see Dane and borrowed his weapon, and then I followed Victor’s tracks. Yeah, I met him once, but I had reasons.”
“I know you more than you know yourself, Amelia. You’re conflicted right now. You may say out loud that you love Ryden, but deep inside, you also have a strong feeling towards Lucius, and you can’t choose between them.”
I lifted my chin and met him in the eye. “That’s what you’re wrong. You may know me, but there’s no need for me to choose, I will always choose Ryden over Lucius. It’s not even a competition, and they both know that.”
“You’re lying. If I kill Lucius right now, will you stop me?”
I gasped silently, staring at him in disbelief. “Why would you do that?”
“See?” He shook his head in disappointment. “If you can’t keep your head in the game, I’m leaving. I’m not gonna stay for you, and I won’t fight a war that I know there’s no chance of winning.”
“So you’re just gonna walk away?” I blinked back the tears as I felt like he just stabbed me in the chest.
“Yes!” he yelled at me, making me jump. “I’m so fucking tired of your bullshit. I love you, Amelia. There were times when I would do anything for you. You’re the sister I never have, and a best friend I always wanted but since you met that man, you’ve changed, like I don’t know you anymore. This is not you. He poisoned you.”
“That’s not true. I’m still me, Ren.” When I started crying and wiping my tears at the same time, he looked away, outside the window.
“No.” He shook his head, aversion was all over his face. “May I remind you why we joined the SEO, it’s because of these threats, the reason why we trained so hard at Elysian.”
I took a step closer, holding his arm. “Look at me. This is me, Ren. I just learned about who I am, but if there’s one thing I know about you, you don’t walk away from the fight until you’re done. We need to finish what we started.”
“No. This is not my fight anymore. This is yours. You’re too distracted to know the real threats because you let your feelings cloud your judgment, and your heart is conflicted between your past and your present. I’m done.” He jerked off my grip around his arm.
“Please, Ren. I’m so sorry if I wasn’t there for you. I’m so sorry if I got you hurt. I know I let you down, I let everyone down, and it won’t happen again. I promise.” I sniffled. My heart felt like breaking over and over again. “And I’ll be a better friend to you and Theia.”
When he shook his head and walked away, I knew there was no getting back of our friendship that I screwed up. When he picked up his bag on the floor I didn’t even notice, I was the one who walked out first. I stormed out the door and ran as fast as I could.
I didn’t know how I ended up in the temple. I tried to calm down before I walked in. I was surprised to see Samarah sitting in bed, and she looked like she was far from dying.
“You’re feeling better.” I chuckled, somehow relieved. “I should have brought you something.”
“What are you doing here, kid?” She slowly dragged herself out of the bed and sat on the chair next to the shield. “Come on, spill it.”
“I don’t know, Samarah. Everyone hates me.” I sat on the floor, smiling at her. Despite her dark skin, there was more color to her cheeks, and she looked lively. “When was the last time Zarah came to visit you?”
“She visited me every day. Why did you ask?”
I shook my head as I sighed. “I’m one of the luckiest people to meet her. She’s such a beautiful soul.”
“That’s true, but let’s not talk about Zarah. What’s bothering, young Nephilim?”
I lifted my gaze and looked at her. “Don’t call me that. I don’t deserve such identity.”
She scoffed. “You are who you are. You can’t change that.”
“Even my fate?”
She frowned for a moment before she smiled as if she knew something I didn’t. “So it’s true then. When Zarah told me about Lucius, I couldn’t believe it, but I knew she wouldn’t joke about it.”
“She shouldn’t have told anyone about him.” I rolled my eyes. “I’m just confused. I don’t wanna hurt anybody, especially Ryden. Maybe I just walk away after this fight.”
“So you just admitted that you don’t wanna pick between them.”
“Do you think, Alpha Lucius is telling the truth? Or maybe he used a spell on me so I would—” I shrugged off. “You know.”
“I don’t know, kid, but I met his mother once or twice. Cassia had a good soul. I wouldn’t wonder how his son turned out to be a good alpha.”
“Cassia. Beautiful name.” I smiled. “I wished I had a memory of meeting her in my past life. Did she even like me back then? It’s just so complicated.”
“So tell me, Amelia. Why would you want to walk away?”
“I feel like I’ve been a bad girl, a bad best friend, and a bad mate. I can’t just do something right even for myself. I let everybody down.” I wiped my tears. “I hate this feeling, and I hate seeing people I love getting hurt because of me. Maybe I just reaped what I sow.”
“You did more good, and you didn’t even know. You should give yourself a little credit, Amelia. You sacrifice your power for your mate, and no one would have done what you did. You have saved many lives, and they’re not even aware of it. You certainly did not let people down. They’re maybe upset, but there’s always a rainbow after the storm.”
“You know, I wish I was just a normal twenty-year-old girl in college with a daddy issue and a hot nerdy boyfriend in black-rimmed glasses, not someone who people look me as the savior of the world while the others think I’m an abomination. I’m so sick of taking all the blame even if I have nothing to do with it.”
“Well, most people would die to be in your position. With that kind of power that can prevent Armageddon, I would gladly take it from you. Your friends are angry at you because you can’t decide for yourself. You don’t want to face reality, and when you’re undecided, people who rely on you are going to get hurt. Do you understand me? Your problem, Amelia, is not your fate or your gift.”
When her words seemed to get in my head, I sobbed to cry alone with only a shield that separated us. I wished I could just hug her tight so I would not feel alone.
“Then what is it? Make me understand because I feel like I don’t deserve this gift, this blood within me.”
“You’re confused about something. There’s nothing to be confused about or feel guilty about. You have two mates from your past and present, so what? You didn’t choose it. They’re chosen for you, but what made you guilty of, is because you’re not honest to yourself that you love them both.”