Chapter 18—Impasse

Knowing the faceless creature in my nightmares is Silas, I cannot help but feel a little sorry for him. I do not support any of his actions and I do not fully understand why he had to hold himself in such a high position, but I was now not afraid of him. All of this fuss over someone who couldn’t harm me nor physically collect me just seemed completely ridiculous. Even all the training I have been through over the past few months now seems pointless. This person wasn’t even that dangerous. He is only a broken shell who has lost too much. Men who have nothing indeed have nothing to lose, which brings them more determination, but he doesn’t seem to have the will. Even though I had this pity for Silas, there was still something about him that just didn’t make sense.

It was the next day, I was sitting on the bank next to the river, watching the water flow as Asher, Rory, and Eden fought again.

“We need to rescue Ruth!” Asher demanded.

“And I told you Sarai isn’t ready!” Rory replied to Asher’s demand. “This conversation is over,” he added, walking away.

Eden walked off, trying to find something else to do and blatantly wishing he were somewhere else in the world.

The quiet that followed was calming, but the sound of footsteps approaching me had broken my focus. Asher sat down beside me visibly upset.

“Sarai, you agree that we need to get Ruth right?”

“You know I do.”

“Then why don’t you talk some sense into Rory.”

“You think you are the only one having trouble convincing him? He won’t even let me argue my case.”

Asher let out an aggravated sigh. “What if I sneak you off to Shanaledge? Rory would be none the wiser.”

“Right, except for when I am missing for days, as well as you. Asher, you should know that he would think you double-crossed him,” I replied. “No…We must try to convince him to allow me to go.”

“By then it may be too late!” Asher responded bitterly.

“Silas told me himself that he will not harm Ruth. He only wants me,” I responded, trying to make him feel better.

Asher stood up aggravated and threw a rock in the river before storming off into the distance.

I stayed staring out at the water for another hour or so until I was sure Rory had calmed down. Then I stood up, stretched my legs, and began searching for him. He was sparring with Eden deep in the woods when I found them. My heart started to race, and my palms became sweaty as I began to feel nervous about talking to Rory on this matter. But before I could chicken out, he saw me and immediately came to my side to see what it was I needed.

“What is wrong, my love?” he asked when he had reached me.

“Nothing…I just wanted to speak with you, but if you are busy, then we can talk later,” I replied shyly.

“We can talk now,” he answered happily. Rory looked at Eden and let him know that we were going for a walk.

The sun was at its peak in the beautiful clear sky as we walked through the forest. Everything looked gorgeous as spring had begun. The trees had vivid green leaves while some had pink flowers blooming from their limbs. Patches of flowers were spread across the forest’s floor as healthy grass started to appear. Dozens of birds were chirping in the trees they called home. The air was charged with energy, but the scenery remained peaceful and calming.

Rory and I walked together, exploring the area further while talking about random things and making jokes. It was such a relief to just be ourselves again, even if it was just for the moment because we weren’t stressing out about current events nor worried about anyone else. Unfortunately, the fun would have to end as he finally asked, “So what did you want to specifically talk to me about?”

My heart skipped a beat at this request. I became nervous as I tried to find the words to defend myself looking for Ruth. “I wanted to talk to you about Silas…” I replied nervously.

“Sarai, I told you that I didn’t want to discuss it any further.”

I looked down at my feet in disappointment. “I’m not trying to upset you. It’s just something we need to discuss even if you put your foot down on the matter.”

Rory just stared at me.

“Why are you being so stubborn? You knew this was coming! You even told me that I was going to have to go to Shanaledge without you!” I argued.

He turned his back to me. “I only said all of that to make you focus more. It may have pissed you off, but you gained more control over your abilities after I made you believe that.”

“So you weren’t planning on me leaving?”

“No. I swore to protect you. I know that we are the only hope to thwarting Silas’ plans, but…I cannot let you go my love,” he answered, turning back to me. “I cannot lose you again…”

“But he has my best friend,” I replied. “I cannot just leave her there. If I do not show up eventually, he will kill her.”

“We will find a way to rescue her.”

“You know that there is only one way.”

“Sarai, you aren’t ready to take him on.”

“I am stronger than I’ve ever been! You have even said that yourself! Or was that just a lie as well?” Pain flashed before his eyes at my last remark. “I think I know enough to protect myself from him, Rory! Silas is powerless! He has nothing to protect himself.”

“He has his own army, and he has his telepathy.”

“There is too much riding on this for him to just kill me. You know he wouldn’t, and you know he never has.”

Rory stared at me, unconvinced.

“What is the worst he has done to you? He never touched you,” I replied, countering his concerns.

“He may not kill you, Sarai, but he would personally hurt you physically and mentally. He has been tormenting you for years. If that isn’t enough proof of who he really is, then I don’t know what is.”

“I don’t think so…Something tells me that he wouldn’t…”

“And why is that? Besides him always placing you inside a nightmare ever since you were a child, he was beaten the shit out of you on numerous occasions. What makes you think that he wouldn’t do that in reality?”

“I don’t know. There’s something about him that is hidden. I haven’t been able to figure it out.”

“That isn’t a good answer.”

“Rory…Do you trust me?” I asked him with a serious tone with a hint of sadness touching my voice.

“You know I do my love,” Rory replied, caressing my cheek. “But you have to understand my position as well. For centuries I have watched you be taken away from me. Careless mistakes may have always resulted in this outcome, but you always died when this happened. Sometimes it was days later, other times it took months. I don’t know if you took your own life every time or if it was Silas or what he was putting you through. How would you feel if you had to know that your loved one would eventually die? What would you do to keep them from that inevitable fate?”

“I’ve lost you too,” I replied sadly.

“But you don’t remember it. You can only see it through my memories, or through anyone else that may have been there. You don’t personally have to relive every moment; every emotion like it just occurred. Sarai, you don’t understand, and you just couldn’t understand.”

“Rory…you may have been lying to me about actually facing Silas, but that lie brought me strength and courage. I no longer fear his cruel actions, there is something deeper to the broken person. Rory, if I can get close to him, I could exploit whatever it is that he is hiding deep within. This could help us get our lives back. It could help everyone in Shanaledge get their lives back.”

Rory looked down at his feet for a moment before looking back at me and letting out a long breath. “I can honestly say that you put up a good argument my love…But nothing is that simple. I’m sorry, but I do not see any good coming of this.”

I turned away from him as my eyes started filling with tears. “What was the point of all of this then? Taking me into the woods away from my family, spending hours training to fight mentally and physically, all to be wasted? You are asking me to run away from my friend who is being held captive, who will eventually be killed by Silas if I do not cooperate. I cannot do that Rory…”

“I know you couldn’t, Sarai…I don’t expect you to either.”

“So you just expect me to get up and leave you one day?”

“No, but I do expect you to figure out how to rescue your best friend.”

“Without your consent?”

“Depends.”

“Ok…But you know that I wouldn’t do that to you, especially after everything you have told and shown me.”

Rory didn’t respond to my answer. He only gave me a sad smile with a subtle nod before walking off by himself to be alone with his thoughts. Before he completely walked off, he turned to me and said, “I would bend the universe, hell even the laws of physics just to be able to stay with you.”

My heart had felt like it had completely stopped beating and sunk from what he said. He made me feel so loved and yet extremely sad because I knew that this was all he ever wanted. I have never felt more ashamed and depressed in my life. This beautiful spring day had been completely wasted on me after the conversation I had with Rory. Walking back to camp, I saw Asher waiting for me.

“Not now, Asher…” I said, annoyed.

“Did you talk to him?”

“You are really insufferable, you know that?”

“Did you talk to him?” Asher asked me again.

“Yes, I asked him.”

“What did he say?”

“What do you think?” I replied with more attitude in my voice than I initially intended. I know I really shouldn’t have taken this tone with him, but Asher has become so annoying.

He stared at me speechless and grew upset. “This is so frustrating!”

“I know…but we just need to be patient.”

“No,” Asher replied. “I refuse to be calm when my soulmate is being held prisoner while you twiddle your thumbs because you don’t want to disobey or disappoint Rory.”

“How would you feel if Ruth had been taken away from you not just once but almost six different times?” I began ranting. “How would feel if your best friend betrayed you and set into motion a vicious cycle that caused Ruth to prematurely die every lifetime? Wouldn’t you want to spend as many days, hours, hell, even minutes, as possible with her before you inevitably had to let her go? But you wouldn’t understand that, now, would you?” I yelled at him, scolding Asher for his ignorance, but this only infuriated him and caused him to fight back.

“First of all, I would never let Ruth out of my sight and never make the mistakes that Rory had that caused all of this to happen. Secondly, if he wanted to spend the rest of his days with you, where is he? He isn’t here watching you nor keeping you safe! I could take you to Shanaledge right now and there would be nothing he could do about it!”

With this last statement, I walked right up to Asher and stared intimidatingly at him. “Oh, you wouldn’t make the same mistakes? And where’s Ruth right now?” I started my rant. “I dare you to do bring me to Silas. But what would happen to you in the process? I have more dirt on you than Silas himself would know what to do with. And if Silas didn’t get to you, what do you think Rory and Eden would do to you?” A sneer found its way to my face as Asher turned pale. “Now, I suggest you walk off before I make you. If I find a way to help Ruth, trust me, I will let you know. But for now, you need to leave me the hell alone!”

Asher turned around, confused by what just happened. Hell, I was even a bit baffled by my actions. I don’t know what had set me off, but after yelling at Asher, I felt a whole hell of a lot better.