Chapter 14—Fortress of the Mind

After spending a brief amount of time in a shabby motel room, then moving west to yet another forest, I sat in the middle of our campsite with Asher. Ruth, Rory, and Eden keeping watch of us, as tensions seemed to rise. Asher and I had been practicing simple tricks with our telepathy for about an hour. He thought that it would be beneficial to do a sort of warm-up before he started diving into the more complex stages that I was needing to learn to keep us safe. The others would occasionally watch us closely. I don’t blame them because it was probably the only entertainment they could have right now, but I still did not like being in front of the audience.

“Ok, so you have done a great job so far since you’ve been practicing blocking thoughts, but what I am about to teach you is not going to be easy.”

“None of it is…” I replied.

“Yeah…Well, what I’m about to show you will make everything else you’ve learned seem like it was a cakewalk.”

Dread rushed through me as I thought of how difficult it was for me to even halfway perform these abilities. It took me two months to be decent with them! I am no match against Rory, Asher, and forget about Silas! We are just all completely doomed…

“This is going to take a lot of focus and concentration at first. I assume Rory has taught you how to keep certain thoughts of yours blocked?”

“Briefly…I’ve only had a few days’ worth of practice.”

Asher’s posture gave away his aggravation at this statement, but he kept a calm voice. “Ok, so has he taught you the basics and tried them?”

“Yes.”

“Ok…think of a color or number and I will try to pick it from your mind while you hide it.”

I closed my eyes and focused on placing barriers. I could physically see the brick walls, locked doors, and chained blockades I placed before my answer.

“Are you ready?” Asher asked.

“Yeah,” I replied taking a deep inhale. I could feel Asher searching my mind. It felt as though someone was prodding my brain with a stick, which was a very unusual sensation that also made me nauseated.

After a minute or so, Asher spoke. “Purple.”

My eyes flew open. “How did you get past those barriers?”

“You’re not trying hard enough!” he replied, slightly annoyed. “As soon as I started fishing for information, I know you felt it, and all of your energy was depleted because you became more focused with that!”

I didn’t say anything in return as I felt myself starting to feel discouraged.

“Again!”

We tried this technique over and over again, each time Asher finding the answer quicker than before. By the tenth time, Asher was so furious that he told me he couldn’t deal with this, and he was going to take a break.

“I’m trying!” I pleaded as my emotions started to get the better of me.

He stepped closer. “You’re not trying hard enough!” he yelled.

“Hey! She is doing the best she can so stop being a dick!” Eden yelled.

“Stop being so hard on her!” Ruth chimed in.

Rory kept his eye on Asher as if he was saying something to him, and Asher did look at him a bit shocked.

“No, you know what, you all have been out here for a while and all she has control over is how well she can shield herself from other people’s thoughts, which right now and in Shanaledge is pretty fucking useless, seeing that you can’t hear Ruth anymore and everyone in Shanaledge is trained to keep their thoughts to themselves!”

Rory stood up and was starting to walk towards us when Asher looked at me, a surprised expression came across his face, and then he flew backward twenty yards, hitting a tree and landing on a knot of the root of the tree that happened to be sticking out of the ground; bruising or almost breaking Asher’s tailbone. Ruth, Eden, and Rory stared wide-eyed at me, then turned their attention back to Asher.

Ruth took a minute before running to see if Asher was ok. Eden broke out into hysterical laughter as Rory ran to my side.

He looked at me, concerned. “Are you feeling all right my love?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Because you just used an ability that you have never tried nor worked your way up to yet.”

Suddenly, I felt a little dizzy and light-headed. “I think…I think I need to sit down.”

When Eden finally caught his breath after laughing so much, he came to help Rory and me.

“What did I do?” I asked as they helped me sit on a log and brought me water.

“Honey, what you did was hilarious!” Eden replied.

Rory smiled. “I’ll tell you once you start feeling better. Eden will look after you while I go check on dumbass and Ruth.”

“Ok…”

I watched Rory walk away, then turned to see Eden with his head cocked to the side watching Rory’s ass.

“You know he’s spoken for,” I said playfully.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t admire what he’s got,” Eden replied.

I laughed a little and started to think about what had just happened. Asher was being really hard on me, making me feel inadequate, then my emotions got the better of me. I don’t know what happened; I didn’t push him physically. As I thought about it more and more, the memory of it became gray as it slowly became black. I couldn’t remember what I did. “Eden, what happened back there? Did I cause Asher to fly back like that?”

“Yeah…He really must’ve gotten under your skin…You can’t remember it, can you?” he asked, eyeing me.

“No,” I said, resting my head in my hands as a nauseating headache took hold.

“Here, take this,” Eden replied, handing me a protein bar before digging in his bag for more water and aspirin he brought. “When he continued to criticize you and Rory, the air around you started to move differently. Rory and I noticed this, but with Asher having a fit, he was more consumed in himself. When the air changed, you were the one manipulating it, but only around you. It was like you were calling on its energy. Then, you attacked.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Oh, sweetie, no worries. Everyone knows that you didn’t do it on purpose, even though he definitely deserved it.” He put his arm around my shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about, Sarai. You are doing great.”

His pep talk didn’t really help how bad I felt about hurting Asher and I worried about Ruth. She would probably have quite a few words for me.

By this time, Rory came back. “He’s fine. Ruth and he went for a walk so he would calm down. But he isn’t going to be able to walk very far…” Rory began to laugh.

“That is great!” Eden replied with a boast of laughter.

“But how did I do that?”

“It’s a part of your abilities, my love. Although I have never seen this ability of yours,” Rory explained with a look of apprehension. “You became so consumed within yourself, it’s like something else took hold of you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, worried.

“You weren’t possessed,” Rory replied, chuckling. “Don’t worry, you are going to be fine. This is just something new for us to figure out…Maybe it was something you learned in a previous life, and, though you don’t remember it, because you were so upset, you managed to ‘pick’ that ability out to use.”

I was completely dumbfounded by his explanation. I mean, I understood what he meant, but at the same time, I didn’t fully comprehend.

“Man it must be confusing to be inside your head,” Eden replied, looking at me. “It was bad enough when Rory and I had to relive our past lives growing up, but with you, you have to go through everything over and over again as if it’s your first time. Not only is that rotten luck but you always ask how you did it or how to do something.” He paused for a minute. “I’d hate to have to deal with that.”

This statement made me feel pathetic and useless. I knew that was not Eden’s intention, as he was bluntly stating his own opinion, but it still hurt my feelings. Rory caught a glimpse of my saddened face then wrapped his arm around me.

“Learning things over again and asking questions aren’t bad things, my love.” He placed his fingers under my chin and kissed me. “It may seem frustrating to you, but to be honest, at least you don’t have to relive every detail, good and bad, of your former self every night.” Rory’s face remained emotionless, but his eyes showed a hint of sadness. “Remembering everything isn’t always a good thing…”

“I can imagine it wouldn’t be…but at least you have Eden…He is someone who understands and can fully comprehend you.”

Rory gave me a sorrowful smile.

“Ok, lovebirds, I need something to eat. If you are willing to wait for the broken asshole to return, be my guest,” Eden broke out before walking away with his sword unsheathed, leaving Rory and me alone.

It has been a while since Rory and I have been alone together. He has been so worried about keeping me safe and teaching me how to defend myself, that we haven’t had any downtime. It felt awkward at first, for me at least, while Rory treated it like a natural occurrence. Instead of having me practice my abilities we just talked and laughed.

He told me more about himself and growing up with Eden, this time around. Rory shared with me the times he started remembering past lives and how confusing it was for him until he met Eden and finally had someone to share his experiences with. Then he went into more detail about his dreams or “memories” of me. He started to get closer to me and saying sweet things, but our time alone was cut short by Ruth and Asher’s return.

Asher was walking slowly, and visibly in pain. He was obviously still upset; he really had a bad temper. Broodingly and forcefully, Asher began speaking. “It has come to my attention that I was being too hard on you, Sarai.”

Rory laughed. “What was your first clue?”

Asher glared at him before continuing, “If you want to continue, which I highly recommend, I will be lying down in my tent…Come on, Ruth.”

Ruth willingly obeyed. Then, they disappeared.

“So how long have you known Ruth?”

I let out a deep breath as I thought. “Since I was about five or six.”

“Wow…I wish I could have had a friend for so long.”

“Yeah…I can understand that in this life. But we haven’t been hanging out or talking here lately. She pretty much just follows Asher around.”

“She probably could say the same about you.”

“Not really…I don’t keep my boyfriend a secret and dump her to only hang out with him…I’m not mad at her, but she just focuses on one person.”

After some time walking around in the woods, we decided to head back toward camp. But first, we thought it would be wise to stop and see how Asher was feeling and maybe continue my training.

***

Asher lay on his stomach, watching the fire with Ruth when Rory and I walked up.

“I’ve thought about it, and maybe it would be best to keep training if you feel up to it.”

“Alright,” Asher replied coolly without taking his eyes off the fire. “But I think I would be better suited in teaching you a different skill…I think Rory would be better equipped to teach you how to block your thoughts and memories from Silas.”

“Afraid she is going to hurt you again?” Rory asked with a sneer.

Asher scowled at him. “No…My methods just don’t seem very efficient with her.”

“Alright, alright, let’s get on with it,” I said impatiently.

“Sarai, sit in front of me…Rory, you can sit opposite Ruth or whatever, but not too close to Sarai that you break her concentration.”

Rory stared at him questioningly. “You aren’t going to teach her…”

“Yes,” Asher replied before Rory could finish speaking.

“Are you sure this is a great idea?”

Asher became short. “It is time, especially if you both will never start to trust me.”

I sat down in front of him, as he told me to do, and awaited further instruction.

“Now, Sarai, I am going to teach you how to unlock someone’s mind…Someone like me and someone like Silas.”

I became nervous about this. What if he started pushing me again and resulted in me hurting him worse than he is already or killing him? Ruth would never forgive me, even if it was an accident.

“This will not take a lot of instruction from me, so you won’t get emotional. So don’t worry, you won’t hurt me—physically, anyway.”

“Great, so instead, I have to worry about giving you a lobotomy or giving you a mental handicap.”

Asher laughed. “No…That’s not how it works. You will only be unlocking memories…Ones that shall bring heartache to you and me, as you will make me relive them,” he said solemnly. “But you have to knock down the barriers.”

“Ok…” I replied, worried as I thought of how frustrated he would become by my inexperience.

“Alright. Now focus on the quietness and the mental block you feel when I am around.” He paused for a minute. “Do you have it?”

I nodded in response, trying not to break my focus.

“Now, you will need to go into a meditative state. Everyone must be quiet until she gets it.”

My mind felt like it was constantly running into a wall. I started to become a bit aggravated, but I took a deep breath and imagined getting past the first barrier. The blockade started to weaken the more I tried. I kept focusing, everything around me faded into nothing. All that mattered right now was trying to get into Asher’s head. The wind around me started to blow slower until it felt still. I could feel the breeze in my hair as it tickled my face until it was motionless. As I continued concentrating on Asher, I could feel more power being forced into this ability. I waited for something miraculous to happen and when it didn’t, I was ready to give up. I opened my eyes and started to speak. “It isn’t working, guys…Oh…”

I was now inside Asher’s mind! Memories, millions of memories, and thoughts whizzed by in no particular order. It was as if there were millions of television screens illuminating this dark place; all playing something different. I began to walk to see how far I could go. This couldn’t be all there was in here; there has to be more to Asher, especially when he said there would be heartache for him and me.

Soon, I came to another invisible barrier. This one was stronger than the previous one. I wonder what could be behind this barrier…

A little push with my will, and the barrier disappeared, shattering into pieces. It made a sound like a glass window does when it is shattered. I walked inside to find a dimly lit room. Echoing whispers from Asher and others from his memories consumed me. People were moving fast, leaving blurs behind them. But even with everyone and everything racing, I could understand what was going on.

In this memory, Asher was in the barracks of the castle in Shanaledge, before Silas took over. I could see and hear Rory as they were discussing other candidates. Nothing important in this memory.

I continued to walk through other barriers that contained nothing but useless information. He must have placed the memories intricately so that I, or whoever tried to gain knowledge of him wouldn’t learn anything useful.

Suddenly, I came to a door. It seemed curious for a door to be here. I was outside but this door was placed in the middle of the yard with no wall dividing outside from inside. The door was damaged as if someone had been beating on it for a long time to get in, without success.

Beyond this door…There must be something interesting. I finally started to become excited, but I was also frightened by what I may learn. The red door must be difficult to open, I thought as I examined it and placed my hands on it to feel the battered wood. All the other obstacles were invisible barriers that did not require a lot of effort, but to this, there had to be a puzzle. Moving my hand to the decorative doorknob, I willed myself to go inside. I exhaled and focused on Asher’s mind as I continued to turn it. Slowly, the doorknob began to turn as I felt the power of my energy begin to increase steadily as I pushed past the door.

I walked into a large dark room, the red door shutting behind me. It was cold in this place, and everything echoed. Inaudible voices became louder as a scene started to appear in front of me. Asher was standing in front of a desk with a fireplace beside him.

“What have you found out about the girl this time?” Silas’s voice broke in as he inquired about me, speaking to Asher.

“I haven’t learned much, sir…” Asher replied with a hint of fear in his voice. “She keeps her distance from me this time because Sarai doesn’t trust that she cannot ‘hear’ me.”

Silas grunted. “That is usually what attracts her to you.”

“There may be another way for me to gain her trust. She has a friend who she cares deeply for.”

“Then go back out there and don’t return unless there are some results.”

The room faded; I started to feel like I was watching a play.

The dimly lit room now showed a furious Silas confronting Asher. “You are to leave that Ruth alone and come back here! We already know that Sarai isn’t going anywhere!”

“But wouldn’t it be a better option for me to stay? I could make sure Rory doesn’t show up.”

“Don’t worry about him…I have him right where I want him.”

Asher’s face dropped down as he knew he was defeated.

“The girl will get in the way. You have spent too much time with this Ruth than you have with Sarai!”

“That’s because Sarai almost runs away when she sees me! I gave you all the information that I have collected from Ruth. Her mind rambles on through so many topics and memories that I know I can find more for you.”

“Nothing beneficial. I already know where I can find her and send my soldiers to collect her when she becomes of age.” Silas abruptly stood up and looked Asher directly in the eyes. “You think that you have found your soulmate?” he questioned with disgust.

“No,” Asher replied coldly with little to no emotion expressed on his face.

“Good. Then you really should have no problem breaking things off with her.” Silas grunted before adding, “People thinking they have soulmates…how pathetic…”

The room quickly became filthy; dust and cobwebs took hold of the unused areas. Silas sat in his chair, elbow resting on his desk with his face relaxing on his hand. He has appeared to have aged a couple of years. It also seemed as though he stared blankly down, not reading, the book he had laid out before him.

His expression and cavalier manner did not change once Asher entered the room. Whereas Silas looked as though he aged rapidly, Asher appeared to have looked the same as he always had. He stood before his boss without announcing his presence, with something or someone stuck in his mind.

After a few moments of complete quiet with both men deep in their thoughts, Silas suddenly broke the silence by speaking. “So it is time for you to return to Terrah.”

Asher wore a shocked expression on his face as he tried to hide his enthusiasm. “Why the sudden change?”

“It is close to the time when Sarai’s abilities will have bloomed. It’s time for you to collect more information on her, she may have new abilities that she has shared with Ruth or someone else…” Silas said as he turned a page in his book.

“Alright, sir,” Asher replied as he started to leave.

“One more thing…You will need to present the locket to her.”

Asher nodded his head as he walked out.

The rest of the memories that occurred here were really of no importance. Asher would follow up on his orders, returning to Silas with any new information he may have found, including Rory and Eden. But before I decided I had enough of these memories, another that occurred recently came into view.

“If you cannot find Sarai and that meddlesome Rory, then we are going to have to use Ruth to our advantage,” Silas said angrily.

Asher stood more attentive to the threat of his soulmate. “What do you mean, sir?” he questioned, trying to sound nonchalant.

“We will need to give her a reason to come here. If Ruth was in danger then she will surely come.”

Asher didn’t respond. He stood staring at Silas, speechless.

“Is there a problem?” Silas questioned, looking at him suspiciously.

“Of course not, sir. But how could you be sure that Sarai would come? And that she would even fall for that?”

“She will…but he will get in her way. You know how she reacts to that.” He laughed. “She is so predictable.”

I witnessed a state of dread wash over Asher for a moment, something that Silas failed to see as he excitedly conspired. This vision filled me with disgust as I was ready to leave. But how do I get out?