Chapter 188 Still leave

Chapter 188 Still leave
CALUM
The sound of the door closing follows me as I jog down the front stairs of Cathy’s house. There are not enough adjectives to describe how infuriating that woman is. 

She is not the only victim in all of these. I am too and instead of teaming up, she wants to be on the opposite side. Very well then, I can do that. But God knows a court mess is the last thing I want. I spent all those months without her, and now I’m here, I can’t catch a break. 

What’s her excuse? If she was so pissed, why didn’t she show up? Because she was scared and heartbroken. Because of that stupid email. Of course, it was that email. She already believed I would leave her and seeing that email solidified the fear. Still, it’s no excuse. Her trust in me and love for her baby should have superseded the fear. 

I take a few more steps to the fence and stop. Spending the night with her isn’t a bad idea. In fact, I was hoping she would ask but she had to ruin it by talking about death and mugging.

Cathy wishes me dead. If she had a way, she would swap my life for Amelia’s. She hates me so much she wants me dead, even at the risk of our son growing without his father.

The realisation crashes into me. I didn’t react in the house, but the full impact sweeps in on me. Her words take more form, tightening around my neck like a cord. I need a smoke. But I don’t have one. 

Bending, I grab my knees and my breath rushes out of my lungs. She didn’t mean it. She couldn’t have. Cathy can’t hurt anyone. Maybe the old Cathy, but this one is bitter. 

I rake my fingers through my hair. I don’t want to leave but I can’t keep up with this.

Damning the consequences, I retrace my steps to her door. I knock twice. No response in both cases. I push the door open. The living room is empty. She went to sleep without locking the door? Sounds like she’s the one who wants to get mugged tonight.

“You came.”

Oh. She’s here. But on the floor with her arms banded around her knees like she’s trying to hide away from the world. I kick off my shoes and join her on the floor. 

Crossing my legs, I spread my fingers on my knees. “I couldn’t leave, Catherine,” I reply.

“Thanks for coming back.” 

Her head lowers to her knee, she tries and fails to smile. My heart hurts for her. It must be hard for her to live in this house she used to share with her best friend. I thought my presence would make things better, but I can’t say for sure if it would. 

“No one has the monopoly of hurt, Cathy. You hurt me, I hurt you,” I whisper. “It’s an unending cycle. Is that what you want?” 

She sighs. “You really lost your memory?” 

“Yes. I wouldn’t lie about that.” 

Her face gives nothing away. I want to know what she’s thinking. If she believes me. If she wants me here because she cares. If there’s a shot at us getting back together.

“Did you have anything to eat?” she asks.

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure you would want me to eat with you, so I ate before coming. Thank you for asking.” She laughs. Though the sound is short, I treasure it. I think it’s her first laugh of today. She swipes her hand over her dry cheeks. “I’m sorry, Cathy.” 

Her eyes open wide. Fear, uncertainty and resignation sit in them. “For what?” 

“The email. I didn’t send it but I still owe you an apology for that,” I say. My eyes drop to her hands. I would hold her in a different scenario, maybe now, but I don’t want to push my luck. “And I don’t hold your reaction against you. I can never understand what it felt like to be young and pregnant for a man who didn’t want me. I would never have left you, Catherine.” 

“Yeah.” Cathy sniffs. Her hand darts out to wipe the tears on her cheeks. She looks tired but I know the tiredness is deep rooted. “At least you’re here now even after all my attempts to kick you out,” she says with a laugh that dies out fast. I want her to be happy, so happy a room lights up each time she walks in. “You can spend the night in Mace’s room. He always sleeps in mine.” 

“Sounds good.” I stand first and offer her my hand. She stares at it without taking it. “It won’t bite, Cathy. Come on, Superstar.”

“Don’t call me that.” 

“Sorry.” She accepts my hands and I pull her up. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” 

She blushes. “Thanks.” 

God, we are so awkward around each other. I stop her from carrying Mace. At this stage, I want her to regain her strength and we can discuss the possibility of a therapist.

Cathy leads the way upstairs. Our footsteps echo throughout the house. We walk past her room to a door after that. She opens it and motions for me to go in first. I pause to inspect her face. What if she locks me in here? Can she do that? I can’t tell with this newer version of Cathy. She’s different.

One step inside and a smile forms on my lips. There’s a portrait of Mace beside the bed. My feet direct me to it. I pick it up and my fingers trace the exterior of the frame. My son is smiling in the picture and his smile pulls at the corners of my lips. Except for these pictures, the room is bereft of any decorations. 

Cathy shuffles out of sight and returns later. Leaning against the door I assume leads to the bathroom, she runs a hand through her hair. Will I ever get an explanation about it? I liked her hair long.

“You can freshen up in here. I’ll get you a towel and a toothbrush,” she says, already charging towards the door like she can’t get out of here fast enough. 

“Cathy.” 

She stops in front of the door, her forehead presses to the wooden surface, and I cover the distance. My chest brushes her back, and her grip on the knob tightens. I’m not sure what I’m doing. But my fingers caress her arm, spinning her in my embrace. She looks up at me with those sad blue eyes and I’m enchanted. My brain blanks. 

“Are you still mad at me?” I whisper. 

Cathy gulps audibly, and my head lowers. What will she do if I kiss her? I wet my lip, and she lets out a breath. Her eyes zero in on my lips and I lean in closer than I should.

“What was your question?” she breathes.

What? I asked a question. Yeah, what was the question, Cal? Her tongue swipes over her upper lip. “Forget I asked anything.”

“Okay,” she mutters. 

Cathy’s hands flatten on my chest like it will stop anything from happening. Wait, is this a sign she doesn’t want us to get intimate? I take a small step back, and she visibly relaxes. So, she doesn’t want to kiss me.

“Are you seeing someone?” 

“I should say none of your business, but the answer is no. I’m not seeing anyone, Calum.”  

“Cal,” I correct. Her brows wiggle, in anger or amusement, I don’t know. But some of the tension fizzles out. She’s waiting on an explanation for my question, so I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Good to know you’re single. I wouldn’t want my son growing under the wrong influence.” 

Wrong choice of words. Fuck. Her face shuts down, and she pushes away from me to stand straighter. My apology dies on my throat. I don’t know how to act around her.

“I’ve been doing a good job without you, Mr Dissick. I know how to handle my business.” 

Fuck. This one is on me. “Please stop.” I slide my hands into my back pockets and rock on my heels. “Stop calling me Mr Dissick.” 

“But it’s your name, isn’t it?” 

The fight has left her body. But she’s still guarded. I maintain the distance between us.

“Cal will do just fine.” 

“Calum,” she says.

“Cal,” I mutter with a smile. 

“Calum it is.” Stubborn. Goodness. “If that will be all, Calum...” The emphasis on my name is so strong I almost laugh. “I’ll be...”

Cathy doesn’t complete the statement. She rushes out of the room and shuts the door after her. I poke my head out the door and grin at the empty corridor. I have so much work to do. And it requires patience. Lots of it. 

The wait for her to show up with the towel and toothbrush drags on. In the end, I go in search of her.

I knock twice before opening the door. My steps are quiet to avoid waking my son. He’s asleep on his stomach with his cheek pressed to the bed. I pull the cover up to his chest and my heart beats faster. I have a son. It’s taking a while for that to sink in. 

Mace is all mine. I’ll have to convince Cathy she’s all mine too. We belong to each other. I look up at the sound of water running. The door is closed. Superstar is in there, naked. Forcing those naughty thoughts out of my mind, my eyes roam her room. There are more pictures of Mace, but in the pictures of Cathy present, she still has her long hair. 

The shelf by the wall grabs my attention. I let my feet guide me towards it. There’s a pile of baby’s wipes in the middle. On the last row is a stack of posters and a box. My finger trails the wood, leaving a fine line in the dust-coated surface. It hasn’t been touched in a while, that much I know. I sit cross-legged on the floor, pull the posters from under the box and it tumbles to the ground. Bubble gum rolls out of the box.

My confusion makes way for clarity when I unfold the posters. The first is a picture of us. Sam, Lucas and me at our reunion. I tip the box upright and spy the notes inside them. Each note has a date. It doesn’t take long to figure out what the dates represent. The dates of our show. But she stopped last year. February. What happened in that time? 

Yani.

The first pictures of me and Yani kissing were released in February.