Chapter 183 Get out

Chapter 183 Get out
CALUM 
Nerves. I’m a bundle of nerves and anger. Anger that hasn’t fully manifested. I ring the door again but it’s the same response. Silence. I look over my shoulder to the car waiting out front. Jason dropped me off. He insisted on waiting till I was safely inside. 

I may have treated him like shit but he’s exactly how Amelia described him in her letter. Plus, he took care of my babies. 

My babies. I have a son. Saying that to myself has no effect on me. Maybe it will when I see the blue eyed miniature of me.

The knob twists as I’m about to knock again and the door opens. Unfortunately, it’s not the woman I want to see. I step back. 

“Pete.”

“Calum,” he responds. 

It’s an awkward family reunion. I rock on my heels, feeling like the twenty-one year old kid he took into his home. What should I say? 

“Hi.” 

“Hi,” he replies. The door shuts behind him and he joins me outside. If I thought I had a chance of seeing Mace or Cathy, then I was wrong. “Good to see you, kid. You look nice.” 

I almost laugh. The corners of my lips curl in a smile that lasts only half a second. I slide two fingers into my front pockets. How do I go from here? Will we talk about that day? The scar is covered by a tattoo. How he swung at me before I could get a word out because he was of the opinion that I took advantage of his baby girl. Giving him a once-over, I decide to let bygones be bygones. For now. Mace is my current goal.

“Thanks. You don’t look bad yourself.” Pete nods in reply, and the awkward silence grows into something more suffocating. I fold my arms. “Let’s get to the point, yeah? I know about Mace and I’m here to see him.” 

“Why didn’t you show up last year?”  

“I need to see my son,” I reply. 

Son. Even now, those words have no effects on me. I need to see Mace, I need to hold him. I need to touch him. I just need to be in his presence, run my fingers over his face and memorise every inch of him because he’s about to become my new favourite human. 

Does he have my blues or that of his mother? We both have blue eyes but mine is lighter. 

Does he smile like me? Does he have my nose? I run a hand over my already tousled hair. I did a lot of freaking out on my way here. Taylor and Rose were helpful with the location and Jason was happy to drive me.

“Pete, I need to see my son,” I say to the older man in case he didn’t hear me the first time. “I need to talk to Cathy as well.” 

Why didn’t she say anything? 

Bygones. It’s all bygones.

Besides, Amelia’s letter said she wrote to me. I know about that. I saw the emails. 

When he doesn’t say a word, I brush past him but he yanks me back. I raise a brow and he throws his hands up. “Sorry, kid. You can’t go in.” 

“Why? Cathy is in there, isn’t she?” He sighs. The wrinkles on his forehead seem to have multiplied in minutes. “I want to see them.”

“They don’t want to see you,” he replies. 

“What?” 

Pete pinches the bridge of his nose, then slaps his hands against his pockets. “They, Cathy, doesn’t want to see you right now.” 

My mouth drops open. The pep talk I gave myself about bygones flies out of my head. He’s the reason I never knew I had a kid. If he had not hit me, I wouldn’t have had a memory loss and fucked up hands. I point a finger at him and slowly turn it to my chest.

“My head was fucked up because of you,” I say. 

His eyes express his regret, his whole face does but his stance shows he’s not letting me walk up to the front door and get what I came for. “And I’m sorry about that, kid.” 

“Don’t call me kid! I’m not your kid,” I snap. My chest heaves. I steal a glance at the door behind him. What if I run past him? Feeling suffocated, I take another step away from him. “You’re the reason we got separated. You and my mother. If there’s anyone she shouldn’t be talking to, it’s you, not me. You don’t get to tell me you’re sorry and stand in my way. I need to see my kid.” 

I walk past Pete but he doesn’t try to stop me. The knob gives away and I push the door open. I take a tentative step inside. The living room is empty. I charge forward in search of what I don’t know yet. A baby’s cry draws my attention, my head whips to the other side and my chest constricts. 

Is that...is that him? There’s a rocking chair by the dining table, I start towards it but stop short when someone coughs behind me. 

Cathy. 

She tilts her head towards the door I left open. “Get out,” she says. “Now, Calum.” 

The distance between me and my son is less than ten steps. I push my leg forward and she cocks the shotgun in her hand, aiming it at my forehead. Like father, like daughter. Cold eyes stare back at me like what we shared those months ago was nothing. I shiver with fear and anxiety. 

“I’m not playing,” she mutters. 

“You’re going to shoot me because I want to see my son?” I ask. She doesn’t break her stance. I raise my hands to show I’m not the enemy. We are the victims in all of these. I missed out on the first year of my son’s life. She had to go through it without her baby daddy. “Cathy, let’s just talk about this.” 

“Get the fuck off our property,” she yells.

A cry breaks out. Her eyes don’t leave me. I look towards the table, pleading silently for her to give me a chance. Only a peek, then I’ll leave. Our son’s cries grow louder, she steps forward with the gun pointed at me and I take steps backward. 

“Cathy, he’s crying. Mace is crying.” 

“And you will be too if you don’t get out of here now,” she replies. Who is this woman? 

I stop moving back. Last time I ran away, this time, I won’t. “You want to shoot me?” I whisper-yell.  “Go ahead then, Cathy. Do it.” 

A flicker of hesitation crosses her eyes. She moves the gun and presses the tip to my forehead. I gulp. Our eyes collide, she holds my gaze but there is no familiarity in her blues. I might have been her Cal once, but right now, I’m a stranger to her and she will hurt me if it’s the only way to get me out of here. 

I nod to myself. “Fine. I’m leaving.” 

“Good for you.” 

My heart clenches. “I’ll be back for my son, Cathy. And not even you or your gun can stop me.” 

I walk backwards until I’m out the door and slam it shut. Outside the house, I kick the air. Pulling my hair from the roots does nothing to reduce the ache in my heart. My heart is breaking and I don’t know how to mend it. 

My phone vibrates in my pocket, I pull it out to see Mum’s name on the screen. I toss the phone to the floor. A car door screeches open and I hear footsteps from the distance. Someone grabs my shoulders to shake me out of my incoming panic attack. 

“Yo, dude. Calum,” Jason says. I blink morosely at him and he slaps me twice. “Dude. What the fuck? What happened in there?” 

I’m not thinking. I’m only acting. I hug Jason for support. She didn’t let me see my son. She was going to shoot me in front of him. 

An invisible hand tightens around my neck, claws my chest open and rips out my heart. There’s so much inside me that I need to unpack. My eyes mist. Jason says nothing but rubs my back. It’s almost pathetic. 

I was rude to him a day ago and now he’s the only one on my team. Stepping out of his arms, I offer him a tight smile. He chuckles, pats my shoulder, and picks up my phone from the floor. I accept it without a word. We don’t talk until I’m in the passenger seat of his car. The only good thing I did today was accept his offer to drive. 

“It’s alright, Calum,” he says. 

I stare at my clenched hands. “Yeah.” 

“What happened?” 

“A lot.”

“What next?” he whispers. 

“I need a lawyer,” I reply and shut my eyes. 

Silence falls over us. He doesn’t start the car and I don’t ask him to. All I have waiting for me are the cold walls of the hotel room and an empty bed. Cathy took my heart, broke it into tiny pieces and even after that, I’m not sure I want her to give them back. I am still madly in love with her because I never stopped even when I didn’t remember her.