Chapter 6

Pagan sat in the middle of her bed with her legs crossed and she hugged her arms tightly. She rocked back and forth, as she desperately tried to make a mental connection with Tristan. Her lack of concentration was keeping her from her goal. Her nerves were on high alert and each time she tried to reach him, she could only feel a tingling sensation that shot through her body like pins stabbing her. She wasn’t able to still her mind.

“Please, Tristan, where are you?”

He had dismissed her without a care of what she wanted and sent her on the road with Brailey holding her tight to safety. Where was he? He couldn’t have been that far behind them? Unless he was injured, and he needed help and wasn’t able to return?

She sighed. No, she refused to believe Apollo would allow him to be harmed. Tristan had run into the battle the gods were fighting, and there was no telling how many of those things were attacking them. It was instinct that sent her into defense mode, and she felt deep down she needed to be there. She had only had two nights of training with Apollo, and when she saw He was out there, she felt she needed to be by His side, fighting whatever those things were.

It was a part of who she was, maybe even the reason she was born. Apollo never explained much, just that she needed to trust Him and do as He said without question. That was what she felt at that moment when she saw Him, a dedication to her god.

But Tristan was another matter. He had no reason to take her place, yet he did, and he sent her to safety to fight in a battle that he didn’t need to be in. His sense of honor toward her had him involved in a situation that could take his life. She desperately wanted to reach him. She delved a little deeper into her subconscious mind.

Tristan, please, talk to me.

No reply came. He wasn’t dead; she could feel his life force. At least she had made some progress, but it wasn’t enough. If she was able to feel his life force then that must mean he was near, but where? She bent over and beat her clenched fists against her pillow.

“Damn you, Tristan! How dare you create a bond like this between us, I can’t stand this feeling of helplessness!” She threw her pillow across the room in frustration.

This is why she didn’t want to get close to a man, she was bound to lose him and have to live with the pain that followed. They all left her, and it seemed Tristan was no different.

He hasn’t left you, young one. He sent you away to keep you safe because he loves you.

The voice, she had heard that voice before. It was in her mind.

No, it’s not true. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have sent me away, he should have come with me and not stayed behind.

No, young one, he stayed to protect you. He does love you. Look in your heart and you will see how he truly feels.

Pagan closed her eyes.

That’s right, see his essence surrounding you. It vibrates with the color of love.

Pagan saw in her mind a shadow of pink and it was laced with a familiar feeling, an energy that pulsated a masculine vibration that seemed to caress her skin. It was Tristan.

No, it can’t be.

Yes, Pagan, it is there. Feel it, hear his heart beat, it beats for you.

Pagan took in a deep breath and placed her hand over her heart. There was another life force present, and it was surrounding her heart. It was beating in unison with hers. She knew it was his.

“Tristan, he’s here! I can feel him!”

Pagan gathered the long skirt of her dress and darted out of the bed to hurriedly make her way to the stairs. She stopped for a second and gripped the railing, as she saw him at the door. He was there and he was safe. An overwhelming wave of relief crashed over her senses, and she realized just how important he actually was to her.

Aphrodite stood behind her but was visible to no one. She gently touched Pagan’s shoulder and softly spoke in her ear, Go to him, Pagan. Touch him, caress him, and most importantly, kiss him of your own free will. Show him what he means to you.

I can’t, I don’t know how.

Yes, you do, young one, just go. Aphrodite lightly nudged Pagan forward, and soon her feet were descending the stairs of their own accord.

She raised the hem of her dress and began to quicken her steps till she was at a steady run straight to him. Without saying a word, she lunged into him and slipped her hand behind his neck to pull his head down to hers.

She seized his lips with a kiss filled with desire, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his hips. His mouth was sealed to hers, and she moved her lips over his with such intensity, he moaned before he dipped his tongue into her mouth and touched hers.

Together they melded into one and for a moment forgot where they were, as they caressed each other completely, letting their kiss heighten their feelings for each other. He laced his fingers in her ringlets and tilted her head to the side.

Tristan released her lips and kissed his way to her neck. He found the pulse that ran there and parted his lips and sucked on the tender spot. She gasped, as the sensation stirred a tingling in her belly, and she clutched his arms to keep from falling. It gathered in that one spot, pulsating, creating a pool of desire for him that she no longer was able to deny. Her body was calling to him. She knew it and she could tell he knew it as well. She wanted him.

Tristan raised his head and blew softly over the sensitive spot on her neck he created.

“Why, princess, I do believe you missed me.”

A tear formed in her eye, and he gently wiped it away before it fell from her face.

“No tears, Pagan. I’m home, I’ll always come home to you.”

“You can’t promise that, Tristan.”

Tristan placed a finger under her chin and raised her head to look directly in her eyes.

“Yes, Pagan, I can promise you that. One way or the other I will come home to you. As long as there is breath in my body, I will walk through that door, and if I’m gone, then someone will bring my body back to you.”

“No! Don’t say that!” She pulled out of his embrace. “Don’t ever say that! No more death.” She placed her fingers on her temples and sighed, “No more, I can’t handle any more.”

Pagan took a step back. She needed to get away from him. She had let her guard down and was vulnerable to his touch, words, and the feelings that swept her head in a fog. She had to think clearly. He just vowed to come to her dead or alive, that’s how much he loved her, and she wasn’t able to say how she truly felt for him.

“No, Tristan, I can’t be here right now, I have to… go, I-I have to go.”

“Pagan, wait.” He held her arm to keep her by his side. “What is it? What did I say that upset you so much?”

She gazed into the confusion that filled his eyes. What could she say to make him understand? She cared for him more than she wanted to admit and feared letting the words leave her lips. He loved her with his whole heart, and he let it show freely in his actions. His aura glowed a strong white with pink streams of love intertwined among red streaks of desire.

“Oh my,” she said more to herself than to him.

“Pagan, I’m not going to let you leave like this.”

He pulled her back to him.

“You can’t kiss me like you just did then walk away.”

He whirled her around and pinned her to the wall with his body. With one hand holding her by her wrist and the other hand behind her head, he guided her mouth to his and he kissed her again with the same desire he had done before.

Pagan struggled against his forceful hold. He was claiming her with his kiss. His passion was mixed with a hint of possession, and she gathered her strength to shove him away from her with her free hand. He stumbled slightly at her unexpected response to him, and he immediately regained his stance to pick her up. He held her against his chest, refusing to let her go.

“Don’t do this, Pagan.”

“Put me down, Tristan.”

“No, not until you say to me what you know you want to say.”

“Tristan, Draken is waiting for you in the kitchen,” the voice of the lady of the house interrupted them.

Pagan turned her head to see her grandmother standing in the entrance of the drawing room. Tristan slowly released her, and she slid down his body to stand with her back to him.

“Pagan, dear, why don’t you come with me and let the men talk in private.” Elizabeth held out her hand and Pagan quickly clasped her grandmother’s fingers, and the two of them left the foyer without another word being said.

Tristan cursed beneath his breath. Pagan was running from her feelings, and he knew it. It was hard for her to admit how she felt; she had built a wall around her heart, refusing to allow anyone close to her for fear of losing them.

That’s when he realized his grave error in words. Death, he had told her he would come back to her whether or not he was alive, and she panicked. The idea of losing him scared her to the point she wanted to flee and never be close to him so that she could escape the sorrow and pain his death was going to bring her.

“Damn, how could I be so careless?”

She was afraid for him. He had stayed behind to fight with her god and she was worried that he might have been hurt. That’s what sparked her sudden kiss when he walked into her house. She was relieved to see he was all right and came to him without a second thought to her actions, and he had to go and blow the moment by vowing to always come home to her.

He scratched his head. “Might as well go see what Draken wants before I try to patch things up with Pagan.”

Tristan entered the kitchen to see Draken leaning over the main preparing table, eating a piece of pie. He motioned for Tristan to join him.

“Tristan, come over here and try this.” He took another hefty spoonful and dipped it into his mouth. “This is delicious. I tell you, I do miss Elizabeth’s desserts. When I stayed here with Fauna, Elizabeth filled each meal with a delectable temptation that made my mouth water. You are going to like having her as a mother-in-law, wait, make that grandmother-in-law, if there is such a thing.”

He cut a piece of the pie and went to the cupboard to get another plate. He made himself at home here and that made Tristan a bit uneasy. The time he spent here was because he was betrothed to Fauna. They never exchanged vows, and as far as he was concerned, Draken was no longer a family member of this household. But that didn’t stop Draken from taking whatever he wanted. Draken placed a large slice on the plate, inserted a spoon in the middle of the dessert and slid the plate over to him. Tristan caught it and tasted the warm pie.

“You’re right, this is very good.”

“You think this is good, wait till you try her almond cake. Hmm, the best I’ve ever tasted.”

“Elizabeth said you wanted to see me?” Tristan ate another bite.

“Yes,” he wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin, “I haven’t had a chance to tell you, I’m getting married tomorrow, and I want you and Pagan to be there.”

Tristan raised an eyebrow. “Married? I didn’t know you had an interest in a woman. Who is the lucky lady?” he asked.

“A priestess of the Maker. Our gracious deity decided I needed to marry again and offered me my choice of His priestesses. Cassandra caught my eye, and well, she is mine.”

“Just like that, no strings attached?”

“No, but there is something else we need to discuss. I need you to come with me to Earth to kill the warlord. We are not to go until after you and Pagan are married.”

Tristan held his spoonful of pie in the air. He was about to take a bite and opened his eyes in surprise at his cousin’s words.

“Well, say something.”

Tristan placed his spoon back on the plate. “I will come. I was going to volunteer to go anyway, it’s just that you caught me off guard, that’s all.” He picked up his spoon and lowered his eyes as he chewed his dessert slowly.

“Tristan, what’s wrong?”

“Pagan, she is afraid she is going to lose me, and after what happened today, if I tell her I’m going to Earth, she’ll definitely close herself off. As of now, she wants to be as far from me as she possibly can.”

“What happened today?” Draken asked.

“Some more of those things came after us like the one the other day. Draken, I think they came from across the veil. What do you think is going on over there?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll find out when we get there.”

“What else is on your mind?” Draken sipped his glass of water.

“I’m not sure she is going to accept my marriage proposal.”

“Why the hell did you ask her in the first place? She has no choice in this. You know that. She became your property the moment you signed the betrothal contract. This is for her own good. She will be your wife, and by our law she already is.”

“I’M HIS PROPERTY! OH, HELL NO!”

Both men turned to see her anger beam across what she knew was her red face. She was beyond mad at what she had just overheard. Property, Tristan gained possession of her by signing a contract she didn’t even know existed! That’s why he felt he had rights to her! In his mind she belonged to him!

“HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME LIKE I’M SOME KIND OF BARGINING TOOL! HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY FOR ME?”

“Pay for you? Why would I pay for you?”

“AARRGGGHH!”

“Wrong choice of words, Tristan,” Draken said.

“AND YOU, HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST HAND ME OFF TO JUST ANYONE! WHAT EVER POSSESSED YOU TO DO SUCH A THING?”

“Two words, the Maker. And you need to lower your voice. This is a private matter, and you don’t want the house staff to overhear any of the details,” Draken said.

“Ohhh, there are details involved!”

“Pagan, please, listen, I know this is a shock to you, but our arranged marriage is necessary and–”

“SHUT UP!” She threw a kitchen towel at him. “THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN SAY THAT CAN JUSTIFY WHAT YOU HAVE DONE!”

“Pagan!” Draken started to advance toward her. “Stop this!”

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!”

Pagan became enraged, as the thought of Tristan’s betrayal of his feelings for her manifested before her eyes. He had managed to convey a love for her that was all a put on to cover up the fact Draken had signed her over to him. How could she have been such a fool? He made a mockery of her and tried to force her to tell him how she felt about him while he lied about his feelings for her!

She screamed with fury and the energy built up in her palms automatically.

Draken took another step.

“I SAID STAY AWAY!” She hurled the energy ball over his head and knocked the clean pots hanging on the wall to the floor. Both men looked at the wall with a look of surprise on their faces.

Tristan moved in her direction, and she responded by throwing another white ball of angry energy, and this time she aimed it at Tristan. He ducked before it hit him and it blasted against the cupboard, shaking the piece of furniture.

“YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO ME!” She hurled another ball. “YOUR WIFE! I’LL NEVER MARRY YOU!” The room exploded in white light, as she threw another. “HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY! I HATE YOU!” This time both hands released white balls of fury and the glass of the cupboard shattered.

“Pagan, stop this, now!” Draken yelled at her.

“NO, DADDY, I WILL NOT! PROPERTY, ALL I EVER WAS TO YOU WAS PROPERTY!” She screamed her rage and threw her hands in the air and hurled a massive energy ball directly at Draken. He ducked.

“Pagan, you are going to regret that!”

“DRAKEN, LEAVE HER BE, SHE IS MINE AND I’LL HANDLE HER!”

“Do it quick, Tristan, I am starting to lose my temper!”

Tristan ran and grabbed her hands, pulling them behind her back. He leaned over her body, using the force of his weight to bring her down to the ground.

“Draken, hand me something to tie her hands with.”

“GET OFF OF ME!” Pagan squirmed, but his weight was too much for her to get from underneath.

Draken walked over to where they were, knelt beside them and began tying her hands with a silk cord that was used to tie back the kitchen drapes.

Tristan stood up, pulled her to her feet and proceeded to throw her over his shoulder.

He walked to the kitchen entrance and turned to face Draken and said, “What time is the wedding?”

“A little later than unusual, ten in the morning in the Maker’s temple.”

“We’ll be there. Have Mother deliver my clothes here in the morning. I’m staying with my betrothed.”

“WHAT? WHOSE WEDDING?” she asked rather loudly.

“Your daddy is getting married tomorrow.” He slapped her bottom hard. “Now, as for you, young lady, we need to talk.”

He walked with determination to the main stairs with Pagan complaining the entire way. On their way up, her grandfather passed them on his way down.

“Good night, Samson. See you in the morning,” Tristan said as he walked by the man.

Her grandfather said not a word, but stared with his mouth agape and watched them continue on their way up and out of his sight.

Samson made his way to the kitchen. He stopped in the entrance and looked around at the mess all over the floor. Draken was picking up broken plates and glasses and placing the pieces in a trash bin.

“I take it Pagan found out about her arranged marriage,” was all Samson said. He went to Draken and held the bin while Draken placed the broken pieces inside.

***

Tristan took wide strides, as he made his way to Pagan’s room. He grabbed the handle and flung open the wooden structure, causing it to vibrate from the force of his strength. He stepped in, lifted his foot and kicked the door shut. He walked over to her bed and dropped her in it on her back.

She rolled over and scrambled to her knees, crawling to the other side of the bed. He was angry with her, she felt it, and more importantly, she could see it. He had no right to be angry with her; she was the one that had been wronged by his actions, and yet here he was about to take out his rage on her.

Tristan grabbed her ankles and dragged her back to him.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” He climbed on top of her and forcefully threw his body weight to hold her in place. “We haven’t even begun to have our little talk.”

“Get off of me, Tristan! I have nothing to say to you! I hate you, you big brute!”

“Oh, I beg to differ. Hate is not what is flowing so freely from you right now. Frustration, yes, and hurt, but not hate.”

“You’re hurting me! My arms, Tristan!”

“I know, and I’m sorry for that, but I’m not untying you till you listen to what I have to say. So, stop wrestling and be still or you will hurt yourself even more.”

“I don’t think I can be more hurt than I already am, thanks to you! Tristan, you lied to me! You led me to believe you loved me, and for what, to make a mockery of me? How could you, Tristan, of all people, why did it have to be you?”

He flipped her to her side and wrapped his arm and leg over her quivering body. She hid her face in the bed, not wanting to see his face. He grabbed her chin and pulled her head in his direction and held it there.

“You will look at me when I speak to you. I want to make sure you hear every word I have to say. Pagan, I never lied to you. Yes, damn it, I love you, even though I never said the words to you, I let my love for you flow from me freely so that you could feel it. You are an empath, and it was the best way to convey my feelings for you since you were so damn set on distancing yourself from me. I fell in love with you the first moment I held you in my arms. You were dying and covered in blood, and I knew I had to save you because you were mine. You crossed that damn veil to be here with me, whether or not you knew it, and I would have asked you to marry me even without a betrothal contract.”

“Why should I believe you?”

“Because it is the truth. I wanted you to marry me because you wanted to, not because you felt obligated to. You have no choice in the matter, true, but this wasn’t all Draken’s doing. Our god demanded you be married into our household in order to protect you from that bastard that has been trying to kill you for years. If you were a full member of the ruling family, then no one in Aradia would dare turn you over to the warlord for fear of their own life. I just thank God Draken chose me to be your husband instead of Brailey, although I believe I was the Maker’s choice for you all along. So you see, Pagan, one way or the other, you were going to be my wife.”

“Let me go, Tristan!”

“Why, so you can run away from me, leave your safe refuge to go back to Earth? You’d like that, wouldn’t you, to go back to running and keeping all who love you at arm’s length so you wouldn’t have to feel. That’s the only life you know, the life you want to live, to blame everyone for leaving you when none of them left of their accord.”

He untied her hands and quickly pinned her back to the bed. He held her arms over her head and moved to lie on top of her.

“I’m not letting you leave me, Pagan, not now, not ever. And if you do manage to slip back across the veil, I will come after you, tie you up again, throw you over my shoulder like the barbarian you think I am and haul your sweet ass back here. You belong to me by Aradian law, and more importantly, by my heart.”

He lowered his head to kiss her. Pagan turned her head to the side to deny him. She wasn’t about to let him turn this around and make it her fault. He should have told her about the contract the day he signed it. He betrayed her in the cruelest way and now she was being forced to marry him against her will. She would never be able to trust him again.

“Don’t, Tristan. I don’t want you to ever kiss me again. I’ll never submit to you.”

He leaned over to whisper in her ear, “You will submit, and you will come to my bed willingly, you have no choice. Your body will betray your mind. When you wouldn’t voice your feelings to me the day I asked you to marry me, I filled your womb with my signature, claiming you as mine, and I don’t regret it. Your body will only allow me between your legs. Your womb will call to me to fill you with my seed. Your desire for me will grow and will not relent till you are in my arms, making love to me and only me.”

“All you did was secure yourself a loveless marriage.”

“Maybe so, but it won’t be a barren one.”

At his words, she moved her head to protest his assumption of her having his baby. He took the opportunity to seize her lips and gave her a kiss filled with his anger and rage for her denying him.

She tried to fight him, but with each passing second, her body responded to his unwanted kiss. She felt the stirring in her belly and realized he was right, her womb was calling to him and she had no control over it. She began to move her hips against his, which caused him to deepen his pressure upon her lips. A slight moan escaped her throat, and she felt a tightness form in her breasts, as her nipples hardened.

“No,” she whispered.

“Oh, yes, Pagan, I told you your body would betray your mind. Right now you want me. Your desire is pulling every fiber in my body to pleasure you.”

He kissed her neck.

“But I can’t. Aradian law dictates I can’t touch you in a sexual way till your rite of passage has been performed and that will not happen till Mayday Eve. The next two months are going to be pure hell, but I will not break from tradition.”

He kissed her exposed skin at the neckline of her gown.

“And I will not take another woman to my bed. It’s only fair, if you have to wait for me, then I will wait for you.”

“Fair, how is any of this fair?” She breathed deeply.

He looked down at her chest and watched each rise and fall of her breasts with each breath she took.

“You’re right, this isn’t fair, but it is what we have to live with. You are mine, Pagan. There is nothing either of us can do about it. Our marriage can be a pleasant one, or a living hell, it’s up to you which it will be.”

He was right. She was trapped. If she wanted to remain in Aradia, then she was going to have to live by the laws of the land, and at the moment, the law stated she was to marry Tristan. Her other option was to run and return to Earth and possibly be caught by Gomez. She couldn’t do that.

Apollo wanted her here to be the protectress for her sister that wasn’t even born yet. Apollo had given her a destiny that she was no longer able to refuse. She really had no choice but to marry Tristan, but at least she could put the wedding off for as long as she possibly could.

“I’m not staying for you; I have my reasons not to run from you,” she said.

“Will you marry me willingly?”

“I will not give you an answer to that question.”

“Have it your way, a living hell it is then.”

He lowered his head to rest on her chest. He heard the rapid beating of her heart. She was in distress and frantic over the idea of having to marry him against her will. She wanted him off of her, her emotions were screaming at him even though she wasn’t saying a word. This wasn’t what he wanted. She was right, he should have told her about the contract that very day, but it didn’t matter, her reaction would have been the same as it was now. All he could do was hope he could get her to change her mind and fall in love with him.

She still cared for him, that much was evident in her aura, but it wasn’t the same as it was when she ran to him and kissed him of her own free will. She was lying still beneath him with her arms still stretched over her head. She was submitting to his desire to have her stay here in Aradia, but that was all she was giving into. He rolled to her side and sat up to pull off his boots. She still didn’t move.

“I’m staying here with you tonight, as is my right to do, so don’t argue.”

She said not a word but sat up and scooted off the bed. She went to her little privy and returned a few minutes later dressed in a long nightgown. She walked to the opposite side of the bed from where he stood, lowered the blanket and got in. She turned to lay facing away from him on the far side of the bed.

He cursed beneath his breath. He went into the privy and splashed water on his face. He stared at his reflection in the mirror over the sink. He loved her, and she was going to deny him the love of her heart because of Aradian marriage practices.

It wasn’t right to force her into their way of thinking so soon. She should have been given her own book of rules when she first woke up from her injury to prepare her for a way of life here. But no one had thought of that. All he was concerned with was getting her healed and not dependent on his life force to keep her alive.

But no, he was thrown into a marriage in an instant just as she was. She had every right to be angry with him; he probably would have reacted the same way. His world wasn’t designed to accommodate a woman’s own will to do as she pleased. It was a man’s world built by men, who created laws to keep women under their control. He had never doubted those laws before, but now, with Pagan, it was stifling to her, and he felt every ounce of her hurt and helplessness because of laws passed over a thousand years ago.

He walked back into the bedroom and undressed completely. Here was another thing she had no choice in. He was about to hold her against his naked body, even though he knew she didn’t want him near. He went to the bed and slipped under the blanket. He reached over and pulled her into him. He was tired after fighting with Apollo and then riding ten hours to get back to Pagan.

He nestled his head in her hair and took in the scent of roses. He closed his eyes. She was crying silently. He felt it and it pained him to know he was the reason for her tears.

***

Aphrodite stood in the garden of the gods and huffed her disappointment at the way things were going between Pagan and Tristan. She had made progress, getting Pagan to face her feelings for him, and just like that, all was turned around and she closed off her heart to Tristan again. She began to pace to try to figure out how to fix things.

Come on, Aphrodite, it’s late, come back to bed.

No, Ares, I can’t. Look how upset she is. How can she love him after this? Zeus wants her to be with him willingly. I have to change this.

There is nothing you can do tonight. Come back to bed and make love with me.

That’s it!

What’s it?

Making love, of course.

She waved her hand in the air and disappeared in a golden mist.

Damn, leave it to me to say the wrong thing. Now I’m the one that’s miserable.

Aphrodite stepped quietly to Pagan’s side of the bed. She was asleep and Apollo wasn’t yet in her mind. She leaned into her and caressed her tear stained cheek.

Poor, young one, life can be so unfair. Be thankful that your betrothed does truly love you. She bent over and gently kissed her cheek. A gift for your future.

Aphrodite placed her hand over Pagan’s forehead. She filled her mind with the ribbons of pure love, and they began to circle and twirl in an iridescent glow. In the middle she placed an image of Tristan.

See in your dreams how much he truly loves you and watch his love manifest before your eyes. Let loose your anger and see the truth each time you touch him in your waking moments and feel his love as he makes love to you in your dreams.

She caressed the top of her head before glancing over to Tristan. Be patient with her, Tristan. She is only hurt and in time will forgive you.