It’s been 5 minutes of complete silence. It wasn’t unbearable - yet.
What was I thinking when I agreed to this?
Case, you’re officially an idiot.
I looked at Adam, feeling bolder for some reason. I stared at how his eyebrows were slightly furrowed as he drove past cars. His eyes flew from the road in front of him to the sideview mirrors just before he switched lanes.
‘I’ve always envied his eyelashes’ I thought as I eyed them from where I was sitting beside him. They were thick and long and they made his green eyes stand out. It’s unfair really; I don’t think boys pay attention to details such as eyelashes and yet it’s like they’re gifted with thick and long eyelashes anyways. It’s such a waste if you ask me; why don’t you just give them to someone who’d appreciate it more.
I watched how his lips were slightly pursed, his cheekbones looking slightly more prominent from being highlighted by the sunlight. I made his face look more angular and his jawline was simply enough to make any girl swoon. Or maybe it was just girls like me.
I was snapped out of my reverie when I heard him clear his throat, his eyes sent a fleeting glance my way before refocusing on the road.
“You do know this can get less awkward if you don’t stare at me like that, don’t you?” Adam pointed out. Feeling bold, I simply shrugged and continued to stare.
“Why did you sign up for this awkward drive?” I asked curiously.
“No one likes a disgruntled Preston,” he trailed off, as if there was more to it. I raised an eyebrow at him whilst tilting my head as a silent encouragement for him to go on.
Adam shifted in his seat uncomfortably before finally uttering what he had to say, “And I felt bad about last night. It was rude of me to walk out on you like that after demanding help.”
I stiffened in my seat at the mention of last night, reminded of my decision to let go of all hope regarding the possibility of Adam.
I silently nodded, accepting his explanation. I spoke before I realized what I was saying, “So why did you?”
My voice was so soft, I thought he might have missed the question.
“I guess I didn’t want my relationship to be questioned and infiltrated by doubts,” Adam said.
I felt my arguments bubble up from within me and I bit my tongue. I would be justifying his actions if I started an argument.
The words swirled inside me, clouding my thoughts. I imagined stuffing it into a glass bottle and trapping it in with a cork.
Instead, I reached out and turned on the radio to fill the silence between us. I settled into my seat, staring out the window as the world whizzed by in a blur. The car slowed to a stop at a red light and I could feel Adam’s eyes on me. I resisted the urge to squirm under his gaze as I turned to look at him.
“Well since it’s already awkward anyways and since we have about another hour to kill, I want to know about myself before the incident happened,” Adam stated aloud. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. He seemed to sense my hesitance when I didn’t speak for a few seconds.
“If you don’t mind talking about it, of course.” He added quietly. I shook my head, trying to stop guessing what he was trying to accomplish here and decided to ask him outright instead.
“Why do you want to know all this?” I asked him. It was then his turn to furrow his eyebrows.
“Well, like I said to you last night; I didn’t want to forget about anything. I felt like there’s this piece of me missing. I’m convinced that if I somehow got myself to remember who I was before the incident; what kind of person I was, how I was and with other people; then maybe I’ll feel better,” he explained himself.
“I know I’m asking a lot from you, Case. I know it’s probably like reopening an old wound but please.” I could feel his desperation to fill the empty void in him and I felt my heart softening a bit.
“Well, you were stubborn, persistent, annoying,” I listed off before I got cut off by Adam.
“Tell me more about how I was with you. How did we become close?” Adam asked. I could see how intrigued he was and I eventually caved in.
“To this day I have no idea why you were so hell bent on befriending me. You were the new kid and I was the quiet kid that avoided human contact. Cliché, really.” I snorted at how typical this story sounded.
“I had a rough past. I got bullied at school because of it,” I continued. “You stood up for me one day and you were so adamant about being my friend. It was annoying.”
Adam was quiet the whole time, absorbing every word I uttered.
“You - “ I hesitated, not knowing how much I should say up to this Adam.
“You patched me up. You started becoming this pillar I leaned on and somehow you helped me move on from my past.”
“You weren’t just annoyingly stubborn and persistent, you were kind and patient and you were this beacon of light to me. Most of all, you were loyal.” I felt my lips morph into a grimace as I thought back to the time Adam got beat up because of me.
“There was this nasty girl back in high school, she hated my guts. Somehow you got caught in the middle of the crossfire and got beaten up by a bunch of guys. But somehow, you still stuck around.” I reminisced. I had fond memories of that Adam although I had close to none with the Adam sitting next to me.
Suddenly, the car skidded to a stop. I was thrown against my seatbelt before getting slammed back to my seat. I looked at Adam in alarm as his eyes widened and he turned to me.
“I remember,” he whispered as honks came from the cars behind us. I quickly pointed to the side of the road and told Adam to pull over. I would not get into another car crash. Once was enough to last me a lifetime.
“Are you okay?” I asked him as the car rolled to a stop on the side of the road.
“Yeah, I just -” Adam let out a sigh, ran his hand down his face and looked straight ahead.
“Maybe it’s best if I drive,” I suggested and was surprised when he didn’t argue. Adam unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car and I quietly followed his lead.
After we’ve swapped seats, I steered the car back on the road again and glanced at him.
“What are you thinking about?” I asked him quietly.
Adam shook his head like he was shaking off a bad memory and I turned to look at the road again.
“Why did you do it? Even after I told you not to?” Adam asked me, a tinge of disbelief evident in his voice. I scrunched up my face in confusion. What the hell is he going on about?
“What are you-” I began but he cut me off impatiently.
“The competition. I remembered bickering with you about it before Pio stepped in and led you away. I remembered feeling fear,” he ended with a whispered. My heart clenched remembering that day. I knew he was worried but hearing this Adam say it was making me confused.
I tightened my grip on the steering wheel as I kicked aside that feeling and focused on what we were talking about.
“I cared about your mother. She was a kind soul and she deserved the chance to fight for her life.” I said softly.
“She was my mother. It should have been my life at stake, not yours. You shouldn’t have been in this mess in the first place,” Adam argued and I shook my head.
“It was my choice, Adam. It’s no one’s fault.” I stated firmly, sensing the blame he was putting on himself. My heart fluttered at the thought that maybe he was starting to care.
Stop it, Case.
We were quiet for the remaining of the trip. I didn’t want to break the silence in case it might lead to prodding questions. We simply listened to the radio and I felt myself relaxing slowly. My fingers began to drum against the steering wheel as a familiar song came on.
It was quite a while before Adam spoke up again.
“What’s going to happen?” He asked. I glanced at him with a raised eyebrow.
“I mean with the competition,” he clarified.
“Well, there’s only one outcome. I win it.” I said with determination.
“You barely survived yesterday,” he pointed out and I scowled at the mention of it.
“I wasn’t thinking straight.” I defended.
Adam was quiet for a moment before speaking up again. I felt my heart drop at what he said next.
“It was because of Kiara, wasn't it?”
I thought about what I should say. Should I lie?
In the end, I decided that it was better to not acknowledge the question. According to the GPS that Adam set up earlier, we were only a few minutes away from the tent where the competition's basecamp. I’ll be free from this interrogation soon.
I stepped on the accelerator a bit harder to get us there quicker and I breathed out a quiet sigh of relief when I saw the top of the dark green tent where the fights usually take place. The tent was connected to a single storey building where the changing rooms are at. Fighters usually enter from the building’s back door while spectators go through the tent’s entrance.
I drove around to where I parked my bike and got off the car, turning off its engine. I heard Adam get out of the car as I got on my bike, putting my helmet on. I slipped the keys into the bike's ignition.
“Thanks for dropping me off,” I thanked Adam, offering him a small smile.
I was about to get out of there but stopped short when I saw familiar figures standing beside the tent. They were quite a distance away. The shades provided by the dense trees nearby hid us from view. They weren’t in our line of sight when we were in the car earlier I got a clear view of the three people gathered near the tent but from where I was sitting on my bike.
The three people were huddled together next to two cars and I narrowed my eyes at them.
“Look,” I whispered to Adam as I recognized Dom and Levy.
Out of all days, they just had to make an appearance today. I was still beat up from yesterday’s fight. I had no doubt that Adam could hold up on his own, but I’d be dead weight to him. I certainly didn’t like how the odds were looking.
There was a woman standing in front of Dom and Levy, her back to us, but I didn’t miss how familiar it was to me. My heart started hammering against my ribcage as I prayed it was who I thought it was.
They seemed to be in a deep conversation but Dom caught sight of our car that had just rolled up and narrowed his eyes. He said something to his other companions and three heads whipped around to look at our direction.
I held my breath as I felt Adam stiffen beside me. Kiara’s widened eyes and her gaping mouth were finally visible to us. She probably recognized the car. I saw her lips moved as she said something to the men, probably to warn them. My hands gripped the steering wheel of my bike tightly, itching to just run them over.
But the probability of hitting even one of them was too low. I didn’t want to take my chances when the odds didn’t seem to be in my favor.
I saw Dom’s eyes darken a moment after Kiara said something His eyes shifted to the trees where we were but luckily, we were hidden well enough. My heart was beating so loudly that I was scared they might have heard.
After a moment, the three people got in to their cars. I let go of the breath I was holding as the sound of their cars driving away slowly faded away in the distance. I turned to look at Adam who looked somewhere between gobsmacked and furious.
“Are you okay?” I asked him softly. I knew he has been an asshole and a jerk to me lately and I knew I did hope that it was Kiara, but it must've been a shock to him. He did believe that his girlfriend was innocent. Getting to see that she wasn’t with his own eyes was probably a clean stab to the heart.
“I don’t know,” he choked out as he fell to the ground, looking dazed. He raised his head to look at me.
“I don’t know who to trust anymore, Case. I don’t know what to believe anymore.” He told me, looking lost, and my heart broke for him. He looked completely and utterly lost that I couldn’t help but feel guilty.
I knew that I had no proof to pin the incident on Dom but I know for sure that Dom was responsible for brain washing Adam on with lies and taking advantage of his memory loss.
This all started with me.
I climbed off the bike and sat on the ground with him.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered into the air, looking at the tree bark across from us.
“How could I not have known?” Adam muttered to himself.
I stayed quiet, not knowing what to say.
“You were right,” Adam chuckled bitterly. “You can tell me that you told me so now.” Adam turned to look at me and I looked him in the eye.
I shook my head at him, taking his hand in mine and giving it a small squeeze.
“None of it is your fault,” I told him sincerely.
Adam searched my face and I looked away, my guilt growing too big for me to keep looking at him.
It was my fault.
“I’m sorry. I should have listened to you. I’m sorry for everything I’ve said to you.” Adam apologized. I felt the weight being lifted off my shoulders as I felt lighter. The guilt was gnawing at me but for the time being, I felt a brief happiness at the thought that maybe Adam was starting to trust me.
“I shouldn’t have doubted you, Case.” Adam said softly, his gaze glued to the ground and I felt his hand give mine a squeeze. It was only then that I realized our hands were still linked but Adam looked to be too deep in thought.
I let him have his moment as we stayed sitting next to each other on the dirt, hands linked and lost in our own thoughts.