CHAPTER 39

The moment Gabriel’s lips touched Louisa’s, his tenuous hold on restraint broke. The fire that he’d been holding in for so long raged brighter and hotter than before, threatening to engulf them both. Louisa’s response to his kiss fanned the flames of his desire even more. He did not just want to claim her; he wanted to possess her, to consume her, to erase whatever memories she had of her night with Angelo. And as those forbidden images of the two of them returned, his fury rose to dizzying heights.

His lips became harsh and unrelenting, pushing through her defenses, demanding entrance to her depths. He was burning for her and he wanted her to burn with him. This was more than just desire; this was an elemental need, primitive and raw. All traces of civility erased, he was no more than a man seeking to put his brand on his possession, his woman. She was given to him, she belonged to him and he would make her his, for now, and for all time.

His hands moved of their own accord, angrily exploring the curves and valleys of the soft body beneath him. A low growl escaped his throat when that body responded to his caresses. He knew he was taking his liberties far too dangerously close to the point of no return. But his anger, his pain at finding her here with Angelo, goaded him to claim what should already be his. His lips brutally pillaged down the smooth column of her neck, down the smoother valley between her breasts.

Still, he wanted more. His lips traveled further south, down to the smooth, creamy plateau housing her womb. She stiffened when his hands started pulling at her pants, but he barely noticed her token resistance. Every cell in his body was screaming for conquest and dominion. He must show her that he could’ve taken her anytime he wanted and only his love saved her from his rampaging desire. He was hurt when she took his respect for her innocence as rejection on his part. But no more! If she wanted to consummate their union before speaking the vows, then he would no longer tarry.

He lifted himself up and nudged her thighs apart with his knees. His fingers shook as he fumbled with his belt. He grunted and cursed as he continued to grapple with the uncooperative hindrance on his waist, but two ice-cold hands stilled his own. When he looked up, Louisa was shaking her head, her flushed cheeks shining wet with tears, her eyes stricken and beseeching.

“Please, Gabriel. Not like this,” she said, her voice strained and hoarse.

It was like he was doused with cold water. He had no strength against her tears. His body trembled with unfulfilled desire; his breath came in ragged gasps and his heart thumped painfully against his chest. But his anger was gone and so was his primeval need to possess her. He still wanted her, but he really could not take her this way, and never against her will.

She would’ve eventually capitulated to his seduction, but she would’ve hated him for it. And he would’ve hated himself, too. He loved her too much to take advantage of her weakness. With a deep sigh, he slowly lifted himself off of her. He turned away but remained seated at the side of the bed. He raked his fingers through his hair and swallowed the last remnants of his ire before he spoke.

“I’m sorry, Louisa. I didn't mean to hurt you,” he said quietly.

She did not respond, but he heard her moving behind him, probably fixing her clothes and covering herself up. She was sitting upright, her fingers fiddling at the corners of her loose shirt when he glanced at her. She looked like a wanton goddess with her hair tumbling down her shoulders in wild disarray; her eyes bright from her tears, her cheeks flushed a lovely pink, and her lips plump from all his bruising kisses. Seeing her like this made him want her even more.

Had Angelo seen her like this?

He tamped down the fury the unbidden thought threatened to spark anew. But the question of why she was here with Angelo still nagged at him. He must regain his calm and face the situation rationally if he wanted to avoid a repeat of what had just happened (or almost happened) between them. No accusations, no histrionics. Just questions she could address without feeling humiliated. Truth be told, if anyone should be embarrassed by what happened during the last twenty-four hours, it should be him, not Louisa. He was, after all, the one who had a lot of explaining to do. And it terrified him to no end. He would be laying his heart on a platter once he started ‘explaining’ his situation to her. He just hoped she would not slice and dice it after he’s done.

Unfortunately, neither of them seemed to know how or where to start now. Louisa was still trying to get hold of her feelings. Her entire being craved his touch, his complete possession. She wanted to be totally his, in body, mind, and spirit. She wanted to be able to lay claim to Gabriel the way that other women did. And she didn’t know where she found the strength to resist what her heart was screaming for her to do. She would have surrendered completely to him, heaven knows how much she wanted to, yet at the last moment she held back. A tiny part of her knew it was wrong, that they would only hate themselves if they gave in to a passion ignited by anger not love.

They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity–he, running the things he wanted to say through his befuddled brain; she –watching, waiting. The silence stretched on uncomfortably until Louisa eventually broke it with a question that was raised in a clear, unwavering voice.

“Why are you here, Gabriel?” Louisa calmly asked.

Gabriel’s mouth fell open, dismayed at being back to square one like nothing happened between them just a few minutes ago.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?” Gabriel retorted, irritated at how cool and collected she looked when he was slowly breaking into a million pieces. Louisa remained silent, staring at him with her piercing amber eyes. Unnerved by her frosty glare, Gabriel jumped to his feet.

“What are you doing here with Angelo, Louisa?” he asked, careful to keep his voice even.

“I don’t see the need to answer that question.”

Gabriel’s hackles rose. Granted, she’s mad at him about Isabella, but shouldn’t she at least clarify things with him first before damning him to hell?

“You’re my fiancée, Louisa, and you spent the night, in this room, with my brother. I believe I have the right to ask you that question.” Gabriel wanted to kick himself. He’d resolved to not appear accusatory, but her indifference was driving him nuts, and the words came out before he could even process them.

Louisa gave him a sad smile as she slowly shook her head. “I am no longer your fiancée, Gabriel. You’re already married to Isabella, remember?”

Nothing could’ve hurt more than the quiet resignation he heard in her voice. How could she just give up so easily? The Louisa he knew would fight for her rights. She would not just throw up her arms in surrender. She would be furious, but she would fight to the bitter end. Why was she so damned accepting just now? Or was this what she really wanted, a reason to get out of their betrothal?

“What are you saying, Louisa?”

“What do you think, Gabriel? It’s over. I was never really your fiancée in the first place because you were already married when we were formally engaged.”

Gabriel could not believe what he was hearing. “Have you forgotten that we’ve been betrothed since we were kids? Doesn’t it mean anything to you?”

“Why should it? It didn’t mean anything to YOU!” Louisa cried.

And that’s when he heard the pain in her voice. Finally, he saw what she was desperately trying to hide–her disappointment, her devastation, her loss, her bruised pride. His ‘marriage’ to Isabella proved that, even though he knew of their betrothal long before she did, it meant nothing to him.

Gabriel’s anger completely melted as he finally understood. He stepped towards Louisa, but he was halted by her raised hand.

“Please, Louisa. Let me explain. It’s not like that at all!”

“Explain? Explain what Gabriel? That you played me for a fool? You made me want this marriage! You made me believe we could make it work. You made me fall for you when all the while you knew you could no longer marry me!”

Gabriel was about to retort with a scathing remark when his heart skipped a beat, realizing what she was saying.

‘Fall for you’? Has she fallen in love with me, too?

“You said, I made you ‘fall’ for me,” Gabriel quietly said, a lopsided grin curving his lips as he slowly walked towards Louisa.

Louisa froze, “What?” she croaked, her eyes betraying her dismay at her fatal slip.

“‘You made me fall for you’, that’s what you said,” Gabriel said, amused by Louisa inching back against the headboard, away from his advancing form.

“I didn’t say that!” she said, scrambling to the edge of the bed, intent on putting distance between them. But Gabriel had already anticipated her move. And for the second time, Louisa found herself helplessly pinned under Gabriel’s unrelenting form.

“Admit it, Louisa. You said I made you fall for me. Now, what does that mean, sweetheart?”

“Nothing! I mean, I didn’t say such a thing. You heard wrong,” Louisa cried, squirming desperately beneath Gabriel.

“Well, then. Would you be more comfortable in telling me what it means after I tell you that I’ve also fallen, fallen really hard, for you?”

“What?” Louisa managed to croak.

“I said I’ve fallen really hard for you. Too hard, in fact, that I fear my heart would need crutches until the next millennium,” Gabriel said, smiling down at her.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Louisa mumbled.

“You’re really going to make me work for it aren’t you?” He chuckled at Louisa’s impish grin. “Alright! I’m going to say it, but you have to promise to tell me what you meant by what you just said.”

“That I don’t understand what you’re saying? Owww!” Louisa whined when Gabriel playfully nipped at her nose.

Gabriel propped himself up on both elbows and looked down at his fiancée. His heart melted at the tender smile on Louisa’s face. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Señorita Almendrez. I love you and I will love you for as long as I have breath in my body, and perhaps even beyond,” he replied solemnly.

Louisa’s heart soared at his declaration and tears stung her eyes anew. This time, though, they were happy tears. She was bursting with emotion; she squealed in delight as she rained kisses on his face.

“Oh, Gabriel! You made me so happy!”

“Yes, I’m glad I made you happy. But aren’t you forgetting something?” Gabriel said, his brows arched dramatically to emphasize his point. Louisa responded by pulling him down to give him a deep, lingering kiss demonstrating her feelings.

“I love you, too, Gabriel Montoya. Never, ever doubt it. I’ve loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you,” she finally said, her voice choking with emotion.

Gabriel gave her another tender kiss then he turned to his side and pulled Louisa close, enfolding her in his embrace. Finally assured of Louisa’s feelings, it was time to face the real threat to their relationship.

“Louisa, I’m really sorry about what happened yesterday. I really wanted to explain, but you ran off and I didn’t know how to find you,” he said, evading the issue of her running off with his brother.

There was no longer any need to discuss it. Her eyes told him the truth. And he knew, deep inside, that what he’d feared did not happen. She wouldn’t be looking at him with such candor if she’d already betrayed his trust. There would be shame in her eyes. Louisa could never indulge in such deceit. His Louisa was no Isabella. She doesn’t have one unscrupulous bone in her body.

“I should’ve talked to you first, I know. I should’ve at least given you a chance to explain what I’d heard but I didn’t know what to do. I was too hurt to think straight,” Louisa mumbled into his chest.

“I know and I’m really sorry about that, dearest,” Gabriel said, kissing the top of Louisa’s head.

“What do we do now, Gabriel? Are you really married to her? And is she really pregnant?” Gabriel heard the catch in her voice and his heart clenched at his inability to give her any assurance.

“I really don’t know, sweetheart.” When Louisa stiffened in his arms, he rose to a sitting position, taking Louisa with him. He turned Louisa and tilted up her chin, looking straight into her eyes. He saw pain and fear, but also a dash of hope, and his spirit lifted. She wasn’t giving up on him.

“Do you trust me, sweetheart?” He smiled and Louisa nodded.

“I promise you, nothing will change between us, okay? As long as you stay by my side and support me all the way. We’re going to get through this together, okay?” She nodded but quickly averted her eyes.

“What is it, dearest?” He took both of Louisa’s hands in his and kissed them tenderly.

“Did you love her?” she asked, barely above a whisper.

“No, sweetheart. I’ve never been in love before. It seems that my heart was waiting for you after all,” he said, and the world brightened again when she smiled.

For the first time since Isabella had delivered her damning news, Gabriel’s world returned to its proper axis. And he would be able to weather whatever storm he still had to face because the woman he loved would be right beside him all through the rest of the way.