51

I haven't spoken to my brother in almost a week. In the grand scheme of things, that's not very long, but for us, it feels like forever. I've been spending this time working, doing my placement, and helping out Hansoo to keep the place clean. I still feel terrible that we're just staying over, but he won't let us go to a hotel. Sunny still thinks I'm at the old place, but I know she'll find out soon enough. I just don't have the courage to speak to my brother again. Call me stubborn, but that's what siblings do to you sometimes; they make you infuriatingly stupid. Jaewook is being... a bit strange. He is still obsessively concerned about what I'm doing, where I am, who I'm with, but I'm not surprised. He's still shaken up about what happened. But aside from that, he's been much quieter than usual, like he's stuck up inside his head and sometimes forgets to come out. It's driving me nuts, not knowing what the hell is running through his mind. But I don't have the energy to pester him, because I know he'd get upset, and the last thing I need is for him to leave me too. Hansoo has become more of a friend than I would have ever bargained for. When Jaewook is in the bedroom we're borrowing, curled over his laptop and unspeaking, Hansoo becomes my company. Many nights have been spent watching whatever is on tv, cradling a beer, trying to talk about something lighthearted and meaningless in order to forget what's actually on our minds. But one night, as Jaewook had once again retreated to the room, Hansoo clearly was in a different mood. He seemed tired of everything, in a way that made him eager to get me talking about everything I don't want to talk about. "I've played along for as long as I can Destiny, this isn't healthy. You need to speak to someone." "I don't want to," I firmly say between my gritted teeth. "Is his father still in the hospital?" "Hansoo," I sigh. "Destiny, talk to me," he raises his tone and searches for my eyes. "If you won't talk to me, talk to someone." His wish ends up coming true, as my father unexpectedly calls me a day later. "Look, Destiny, your brother called me but wouldn't tell me why. You know how weird that is, right? He never calls me unless he clearly has something to say. Why did you two fight?" "How did—" "I got it out of him. Why did you fight?" "I don't want to talk about it, dad." "Yeah, yeah, fine, I'm your old man, you don't want to tell me some things, I get it. But please talk to your brother? How the hell are you guys sleeping in the same small place and not talking? That's hard to do." "We're not. I'm at a friend's," I confess. I hear him sigh. Then he pauses, a moment of silence drawing between us both. "You should go on a little trip somewhere, relax a bit. You've been too uptight lately." "How—" "Maybe go to our beach house. You know the one in Okinawa, I took you there three years ago. Or was it four? Anyways, there are no bookings for the next two weeks, I can take it off the Airbnb postings for you." Before moving to Tokyo, Erika grew up in Okinawa. After showing my dad her homeland, he fell in love and bought a small cottage in Miyako-jima, by the sea. They spend time there when my dad isn't on tour. When he is, it's an open Airbnb that he has Erika's family look after. "I don't need a trip." "I think you do. I'll pay for the flights. Think of it as a late birthday present." "But you already sent me a birthday present." "Destiny, just the fact that you're fighting me on this proves that something's wrong. Why don't you and Jaewook go." I sigh for maybe the hundredth time that very day. He ends up convincing me to go. I don't know how he does it, but he always ends up getting me to do what he wants me to in the end. It doesn't take Jaewook much convincing, although his response was much more delayed than I expected. Soon enough, I had my days booked off, bags packed and we waved Hansoo goodbye at the airport. He looked like a parent with a somewhat forced smile, eyebrows held taught and eyes slightly squinted in worry. Jaewook's energy picks up a bit throughout the plane ride, although it causes him to fidget with the things around him, one of those things being my hands. When he's staring at them for too long, his fingers snaking through mine in a sporadic sequence, I try to get a peek inside his mind. "What are you thinking about?" I ask. At first, he just stares at the seat in front of him and shrugs. "I'm serious, you've been acting weird for too long now. What's wrong?" "It's nothing." My annoyance is growing fast. "Jaewook, you can't brush me off like that. Don't I deserve to know why you're not looking into my eyes lately?" His hand leaves mine, the last part of him that was touching me. He's completely closed off now. "Can you just wait? I don't want to talk about it now." From the sour tone of his voice, I can tell he's taken offence to my pestering. This is why I haven't asked all week. With an exasperated sigh, I tap at the little screen in front of me to distract myself. The rest of the short plane ride is quiet, and so is our walk to get our baggage. Our plane stopped in Naha and we have about four hours until the flight to Miyako-jima. We find something to eat and immerse ourselves in our phones as we wait for the next flight. I constantly steal glances at Jaewook, whose eyes don't even blink as he taps away on his phone. The second flight is almost ridiculously short, by the time we've taken off and reached cruising altitude, we seem to already be descending. Thank goodness for that. I can't stand being around Jaewook when he's so stubbornly immersed in himself. Using my skills in the Japanese language, I get us through the airport and to a taxi easily. I decide to wait until we're alone to solve this tension between us. We arrive at the small beach cottage by mid-afternoon. The sun is hot and skies completely blue, melting into the blue waters surrounding the small island. We have to climb some stairs to make it to the small cottage, which is atop of grassy and textured rocks. I open up the door to the charismatic building and text my father to let him know we arrived. "Woah, this is so cool," the stubborn child who has been ignoring me for hours suddenly says. His eyes hold a dreamy innocence in them as he looks around. The walls and floors are covered in a red wood. It's tiny, but there are stairs tucked away leading up to another floor. Despite its humble size, the decor ups its value and gives it a very cozy, serene aura. Jaewook immediately heads to the giant mirrored sliding doors that face out towards the sea. While there is a substantial amount of grassy plain between us and the water, there is nothing else but that raw nature laying out before us. I quickly toss our luggage up the stairs where the mattresses are squished together. I walk over to where Jaewook is still ogling out the window, his dark eyes now a reflection of the blues and greens before him. "Jaewook." He doesn't respond, just briefly looks over at me. "I didn't come here to be tense and worried about you the whole time. Can we put aside whatever it is that happened?" I still myself don't know what happened. He looks at me again, his lips slightly pressing together as his eyes drift back and forth between mine. He nods at me. "I'm sorry. There's just—a lot on my mind." He looks back out the window, the excitement diffused and instead distance flashing within them. "But you'll tell me eventually?" I softly ask, almost begging for him to give me a sliver of what's going on inside his head. He nods again, his features softening. "I will." For now, that's all I need to hear as I can finally look out at the view and truly appreciate it. "It's really peaceful, isn't it. Like a whole new world."