Chapter 43

*** Major Trigger Warning***.

I look out into the night. It’s late and the music of the party went quiet a while ago. I have no idea what to expect at this point. Alpha A-hole was nice today, but Luna Ellen wants to kill me, I can only imagine. Knowing what she’s capable of, and the warning from her own mouth not to cross her really has me worried, but even with the fear of her wrath, I fear Alpha A-hole’s lust much more. My door is locked, but as Maxine said, he could still break down the door.

I grip my necklace and wish that my dream from earlier was real. “Goddess, why did you put me with him, of all wolves in this world? Why couldn’t you give me someone kind and respectful like Toby?” I let out a deep breath. Why couldn’t Toby be my mate? I wish upon every star that I can wake up to find this a dream and my reality… Toby. I wish Toby were my reality. I’m sure there are plenty of great males out there, but Toby is such a gentleman. He’s kind, intelligent, interesting, not to mention incredibly attractive. I almost wish I stayed at the palace when Lucinda offered me that chance. I couldn’t though. Xavier and the rest of the pups would’ve been too much for Flora. They needed me, they still do, but I’m stuck here. I just want to throw on my cloak and go there now.

My cloak! I never tried to see if it would get me through the Alpha command. I wonder if it can? I look around the balcony for any way to sneak out, but there’s not much. The nearest balcony is a good six feet apart. There’s no trellis, no climbing tree, not even a single vine. I give up, there’s no way out of here. Turning to go back inside, I stop to look closer at the wall. I’m on the very end of the house and the corner has brick ledges every two feet or so. It’s not much, but I think I can do it.

My cloak is enchanted, but I’m not sure to what extent. Quickly, I change out of my dress and throw on some jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. With a deep breath, I clasp on my cloak. “Goddess, protect me,” I pray as I carefully climb over the concrete railing. Okay, this is really scary and my nerves make my limbs shake. One ledge at a time. One ledge at a time. I repeat until my feet are firmly planted on the grass below.

I did it! Looking back up, I almost can’t believe it. So long Alpha house, I pull my cloak around me and scurry to the fence closest to me. Stealth is not my forte, but hiding in the shadows, I covertly slink along the hedgerow to the gate. It opens easily, but at the last moment, I stop. Come on, Annie, one more step. Wrapping the cloak around my legs, I move my foot forward… an inch. I can’t freaking do it! I want to scream so badly, but that wouldn’t be wise since I’m going for stealth.

I try again, fighting his command, I am an Alpha’s daughter. I have more power than most, I just hide it very well. It’s one of the first things my father taught me. I release my power and force myself to move. I make it parallel to the gate and can’t move any farther. I kick the nearest hedge in frustration then sink to the ground as tears let loose and I pull my power back in. He had to have put a lot of power into that command, so much so that I can’t fight it.

“There you are.” I gasp and turn to find Alpha A-hole standing over me in only a pair of black sweats and a necklace with an odd-looking, square-shaped scrap of metal. Even his feet are bare. I notice his hair has drops of water and I assume he just got out of the shower. My mouth waters at the sight of him. His chest is broad and muscular. His abs are perfect and dip down into a V shape low under the edge of his pants. He is pretty hot and my body responds the way mates are known to. He looks to the gate then back to me. “Trying to leave?”

“And failing. Your command wouldn’t let me go any farther.” I wipe my face and stand.

He takes a moment to look me over. “I was worried about you since you left your party so early. I went to check on you, but your room was empty.” He steps closer and holds me at the waist. “Where were you going?” His voice is one of curiosity, but I know he can get angry easily and without preamble.

“I just wanted to go home,” I tell the truth, I’ve never been a good liar.

His grip tightens on my waist and he pulls me closer to him. My hands automatically rest against the hot skin of his chest. I close my eyes at the warm, comforting buzz between our touch. He moves his hand from my back to hold my face. “You doubted me all this time. Now you know that I was telling you the truth. I am your mate, Anna, and you still want to leave me?” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I promised you that I would take care of you.” His touch is beginning to shatter my defenses, but I still know my mind and my heart. I don’t want this.

I open my eyes and in the darkness, I can barely see his, but the pull to him is so strong that I’m having a hard time looking away “Please, Alpha. I don’t…”

“Call me Julian. You are my mate after all.” His command sinks in and Alpha A-hole is now gone. His thumb traces my cheek sweetly. He leans in for a kiss and I gasp under his lips. He smiles then forces my mouth open with his tongue. I don’t want this, but it feels so right. My mind and body are fighting for control, but in the end, my heart is the victor. My heart knows that I could never love him as my mate, therefore, I stand still never returning his kiss, but not stopping him either. He pulls back, pressing little pecks to my lips and cheek. “You’re shivering. Let’s get you back to your room.” I only nod as I let him pull me away from freedom.

My bedroom door is unlocked even though I still have the key. I’m so confused, how…? Julian closes the door behind me then unclasps my cloak. “This is a pretty color on you.” He compliments. Giselle said the same thing when she gave it to me. “You’re shaking.” He drapes my cloak over the bench then takes my hands in his. “You’re cold, Anna,” he says, kissing both of my hands then placing them on his chest. “I’ll warm you up.” His arms wrap around my body pressing my cheek to his still very bare chest. It actually feels pretty nice and my body relaxes into him.

He starts pulling the many pins from my hair, freeing it so he can run his fingers through it, and, Goddess, it feels so good. His skin feels like velvet and my hands climb higher. My thumb touches his charm and I instantly pull away with a gasp. It holds a lot of power and for some reason, all I want right now is my mate. I look up into his eyes beaming down at me. His lips tick up into a smile and he glides his hand under my hair, catching the chain of my necklace. I pull my face back as my charm works to wake me up from my sudden haze. If he notices my hesitation, he doesn’t let on as his fingers continue to comb through my hair.

“Anna, you’re so beautiful.” It’s only then I remember his other hand as it dips lower, then sneaks under my shirt to the bare hollow of my back. Holy Goddess! I almost hum at the contact of him touching my skin. My mouth falls open and he takes that as an invitation to kiss me. My lips move to match his, but I stop myself from giving in to him. My body is vibrating with want and my head is getting muddled, but my heart is still safe and I know that no matter what my body feels, I still hate this male.

His kisses move to my cheek then down to my neck. He nibbles achingly delicious little bites, and this time, a sound does escape my throat. Julian fists the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head. Instinctively my arms cover my breasts, but he skims his warm hands over my shoulders and down my sides until my arms relax and drop back to his chest. My white lace bra is the only thing shielding me, but the look in his eyes tells me he doesn’t see the bra as a hindrance, but as an invitation. Unfortunately, my nipples like the attention and harden accordingly.

“You’re shaking again, Anna.” His large hands rub warmth into the skin of my back and arms while I press closer to his body, seeking the comfort he provides. I close my eyes and his scent envelops me. It’s so intoxicating that my nose seeks the crook of his neck. My left hand holds the back of his neck so I can pull that scent deep into my olfactory. Goddess, he smells amazing.

Julian takes the opportunity to remove my jeans and lift me out of them. He swings me around to the bed where he lays me down and appraises my body. I swallow at the dark, menacing, yet yearning look in his eyes. He moves his charm so it’s out of the way, resting on his back then kisses my neck. My hand reactively buries into his hair, and I squirm under him. I know I don’t want this. I don’t like him, but Goddess above everything feels so good. My body and heart are in a wrestling match and my body has lost all control.

Julian kisses along my collarbone, his lips touching the chain of my necklace. His thumb moves it out of the way, but the movement of my stone is like an ice bath, startling me awake. I gasp and sit up. “No,” I barely audibly whisper.

“Shh,” he coos. “It’s alright, Anna. I know you’re nervous. I promised I would be gentle.”

I shake my head. “No, I don’t want to do this.”

He looks into my eyes and feathers his hand down my body. “Your body says otherwise. I can smell how turned on you are. I can feel you move closer as I touch you.” His hand glides over my panties and my body arches to greet him. He hums as his thick hand rests over the apex of my legs. No one has ever touched me here and already I feel dirty. I squeeze my legs together, but he braces his knee between my legs, keeping them open for his touching.

“Please, Julian,” I beg, but it’s the wrong thing to say. His smile widens as he dips his hand into my panties and through the folds. I close my eyes. All of my fears have come back to me in full force. I push at his chest, but he’s already too excited, I can tell by the growing hardness on my thigh. I go to protest, but his mouth covers mine, stopping all coherent words. His fingers dip inside me, it hurts, but my body likes his touch at the same time. I don’t, my body does.

He's rubbing all over and inside my private area skillfully, while his tongue prowls freely inside my mouth. I push against him, but he presses back harder. My body is betraying me as a glimmer of something pleasurable hits the back of my mind. He softly growls in delight and my body crashes in response. My eyes squeeze shut, my muscles tighten and a warm sensation encompasses my body as my muscles start to slowly loosen from the involuntary hold.

Tears fill my eyes, but he’s lost all control. His eyes are dark and he rips my panties away. His kisses move to the top of my breasts with an animalistic hunger. “Julian, please. Don’t do this.”

He squeezes my breasts as he looks into my eyes. “I know you’re scared, but you can trust me, my little Anna.” He kisses me again, capturing all my words of protest. I’m shaking as he presses his hardness against me. I close my eyes trying to escape into my mind as my body is no longer mine. He presses in and I cry out from the scorching pain erupting from inside. Goddess help me, but his animal side has taken over and he begins to thrust into me even deeper than before.

My mind breaks away from the pain and sorrow, and I’m floating above my body as I watch him violate me, even though my eyes are tightly closed. I can see everything and I’m too weak and hollow to stop him. At this point, all I can do is let him finish. There’s no going back from this, it’s done. My body is now used, even if it wasn’t by my choice. I lay still, all of the fight in me gone as he’s already broken me, tainted me for anyone else. Who am I kidding, there is no one else. He’s my mate and this is my life. There’s no escaping, I’m his to be used whenever he chooses regardless if I want it or not.

Julian stills on top of me as a warm fluid coats my inner walls. He bites down on my neck and I gasp as our connection becomes even stronger. I feel him inside of me and it’s even worse than the physical anguish I’ve just been forced to endure. He slowly pulls out of me, his fluid dripping down. “Happy birthday, Anna.” He licks my neck then slips his sweats back over the monster I refuse to look at. “Get some rest. I’m busy tomorrow, but I’ll make time to see you.” He pulls my blanket over my body and kisses my head. Without another word, he leaves me in the darkness alone and broken. My mind is empty and my heart is hollow. I turn away from the door, curling in on myself to let the darkness consume me, slipping into its comfort and peace.

I wake up feeling sore and empty, but the monster’s essence is ever-present at the back of my consciousness. That hollowness consumes me as I go through the motions of my morning routine. The water of the shower runs cold and I’ve used a quarter of the soap in the bottle, yet, I still feel unclean. I sink down and wrap my arms around my legs as meaningless tears leak down my face, merging with the water already dripping over me.

My body shivers and my chin trembles with the cold. A large chill raptures my body, It’s the only thing that wakes me from my stupor to turn off the water and wrap a towel around me. I grab an extra towel seeking its warmth, but the chill now emanates from inside of me. Grabbing random clothing from my closet, I numbly dress in loose sweats and a hoodie. With my hair up in a messy bun, I slowly pad to the kitchen and search through every cabinet until I find what I’m looking for.

Maxine enters the kitchen just as I pour the hot water into my mug. “Good morning, dear. Can I get you some breakfast? Everyone else already ate.”

“I just want my tea.” I emotionlessly answer.

Maxine notices my mug. “Oh. Dear, that’s the Luna's tea.”

“I’m aware,” I answer then take my mug in hand. “Maxine can you change my bedding, please.” She gives me an odd look, but I ignore her and head outside to the garden to sit on my mother’s bench and forget the world.