Chapter 29 Phone Calls Home 2

Chapter 29 Phone Calls Home 2
"I'm not in trouble," he interrupted. It wasn't exactly a lie. "I'm safe. I promise I'm safe."
"Then why won't you tell me where you are? Why won't you tell me who you're staying with?"
Because he's a crime lord who orchestrated my entire life falling apart so I'd end up exactly where I am. Because I'm sleeping with him and I'm not sure if that's survival or choice or both. Because I'm falling in love with someone who terrifies me and I don't know how to explain that to you.
"It's complicated," Cedric said again, the words feeling hollow and insufficient.
"That's not an answer."
"I know."
Another long pause. He could hear sounds in the background nowthe TV was on, playing something with a laugh track. Ray's voice, distant and muffled, yelling something about dinner. Linda must have stepped into another room for privacy.
"Are you eating?" she asked finally. "You sound tired."
"I'm eating. Way too much, actually. The, uh, the food here is really good."
"Here where?"
Cedric sighed. "Ma."
"Fine. Fine." But her voice said it wasn't fine. "Are they treating you well? This person who's helping you?"
He thought about Falcone's hand on the back of his neck. About breakfast in the solarium. About the study room filled with books chosen specifically for him. About the way Falcone looked at him like he was something precious and dangerous in equal measure.
"Yeah," he said quietly. "Yeah, they are."
"And you're really going back to school? This isn't some You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"
"I'm really going back. I've been reading the textbooks, going over the course requirements. It's going to take a while, but" He swallowed hard against the emotion suddenly clogging his throat. "I'm going to finish this time, Ma. I'm going to become a veterinarian."
She was definitely crying now. He could hear her trying to muffle it, that particular sound of someone pressing a hand over their mouth to keep the sobs quiet.
"I'm so proud of you," she managed. "I'm so proud of you, baby."
Cedric's own eyes were burning. "I'm sorry I worried you."
"Just Will you at least tell me you'll be careful? Whatever this is, whoever you're staying with, promise me you'll be careful."
"I promise."
"And you'll call more? Not just texts. Actually call so I can hear your voice and know you're okay?"
"Yeah. I'll call more."
"Okay." A shaky breath. "Okay. I should~ Ray's going to want dinner soon. But Cedric?"
"Yeah, Ma?"
"Lily's been asking about you. Her therapist says she's making real progress. She's been saying more words, short sentences sometimes." Linda's voice was bright with hope. "I think she misses you."
Cedric's chest tightened. "Tell her I miss her too. Tell her I'll come visit soon."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
After they said goodbye and he hung up, Cedric sat there for a long time, phone still in his hand, staring at nothing. The weight in his chest hadn't liftedif anything, it felt heavier now. Because he'd told his mother the truth, just not all of it. And the parts he'd left out were the ones that mattered most.
He didn't realize he was crying until a tear hit the screen of his phone, leaving a small wet circle on the dark glass.
The door opened again. He didn't look up, but he knew it was Falcone. Could tell by the measured footsteps, by the way the air in the room seemed to shift and settle when he entered.
"That bad?" Falcone asked quietly.
"That good, actually." Cedric wiped at his face with the back of his hand. "She cried. She's proud of me for going back to school. She just— She worries."
"Of course she does."
"And Lily's talking more. Her therapist says she's making progress." He finally looked up at Falcone, who was standing a few feet away, hands in his pockets, expression carefully neutral. "That's because of you. The therapy, the better doctors, all of it. That's you."
"It's her resilience. I just removed some obstacles."
"Don't do that." Cedric stood abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor. "Don't minimize it. You're paying for a therapist I could never afford. You arranged the job for my mom so she's not working herself to death anymore. You're" His voice caught. "You're fixing things I thought were broken forever."
Falcone moved closer, slowly, like approaching something wounded that might bolt. "And that makes you feel..."
"Grateful. Guilty. Confused. Angry." Cedric laughed, the sound wet and harsh. "All of it at once. I'm sitting here in this beautiful room, in this beautiful house, going back to school like I always dreamed, and I should be happy. I should be so fucking happy. But instead I just feel"
"Like you don't deserve it," Falcone finished.
"Yeah."
"You do." Falcone's hands came up to frame Cedric's face, thumbs brushing away the tears still tracking down his cheeks. "You deserve every good thing, Cedric. School, stability, a future that isn't just survival. You deserve all of it."
"Even if it comes from you? Even if it's built on whatever you do to make your money?" Cedric's hands came up to grip Falcone's wrists, not pulling away but not quite surrendering either. "How do I reconcile that?"
"I don't know." The honesty in Falcone's voice was startling. "I'm not sure there is a way to reconcile it that doesn't require compromising something. Your morals or your happiness or your family's wellbeing. Something has to bend." His eyes searched Cedric's face. "The question is what you can live with bending."
"That's not fair."
"No. But it's real."
They stood like that for a long moment, Falcone's hands on Cedric's face, Cedric's hands on Falcone's wrists, the afternoon light slowly fading to evening around them. Somewhere in the house, a clock chimed the hour. Six o'clock. Dinner would be ready soon. The day moving forward whether they were ready or not.
"My mom wants to meet you," Cedric said suddenly. "She didn't say it directly, but I could tell. She wants to know who's helping me. Who I'm staying with."
Falcone's expression didn't change, but something flickered in his eyes. Surprise, maybe. Or concern. "And what did you tell her?"
"Nothing. Yet." Cedric took a shaky breath. "But I'm thinking I'm thinking maybe she should. Meet you, I mean. Not know everything, not know what you really do, but... see that I'm okay. See that this is real."
"Are you sure that's wise?"
"Probably not. But I'm tired of lying to her. Or avoiding her calls because I know I'll have to lie." His hands tightened on Falcone's wrists. "If this is realif we're realthen I need to stop hiding it."
"We are real," Falcone said with absolute certainty. "Whatever else is complicated or unclear, that isn't."
"Then yeah. I want her to meet you. Even if it terrifies me. Even if I have no idea how to introduce you." Cedric managed a weak smile. "What do I even say? 'Mom, this is Gianni Falcone, my... my what, exactly?'"
"Your partner." Falcone said it simply, like it was obvious. "The person helping you rebuild your life. The man who cares about you." A pause. "The man who's in love with you."
Cedric's breath caught. They hadn't used that word yet. Had danced around it, implied it, felt it in every touch and look and quiet moment. But neither had said it directly.
"You're in love with me," Cedric repeated, testing the words.
"Desperately. Obsessively. Probably unhealthily." Falcone's smile was self-deprecating. "But yes. Very much in love with you."
"I think" Cedric's voice was barely above a whisper. "I think I'm in love with you too. Which is insane. We've known each other for three weeks."
"I've known you for six years."
"That's creepy, not romantic."
"It's both." Falcone leaned in, pressing his forehead to Cedric's. "Everything about us is both."
They kissed then, soft and slow, tasting salt from Cedric's tears and something sweeter underneath. When they broke apart, Cedric felt simultaneously more grounded and more unmoored than before.
"Okay," he said. "Okay. Let's do this. Let's invite my mom for dinner or coffee or whatever normal people do when they introduce their" He stumbled over the word. "Their partners to their family."
"Are you sure?"
"No. But I'm doing it anyway."
Falcone smiledthat real smile that transformed his entire face, made him look younger and more open and almost vulnerable. "Alright then. When?"
"This weekend? Give me time to mentally prepare and her time to rearrange her work schedule."
"This weekend," Falcone agreed. Then, more seriously: "Cedric, I need you to understand something. Whatever I am, whatever I do in my businessthat's separate from how I feel about you and how I'll treat your family. Your mother will be safe here. She'll be respected. I give you my word."
"Your word as a crime lord?"
"My word as a man who loves her son."
It shouldn't have been reassuring. The promise of a man who'd built his empire on violence and intimidation shouldn't mean anything. But somehow, it did. Because Falcone had never lied to him, had never pretended to be anything other than what he was. The honesty, brutal as it sometimes was, felt more trustworthy than any pretty promises.
"Okay," Cedric said again. "This weekend. I'll call her back tomorrow and arrange it."
They had dinner in the solarium that night, just the two of them, as the last light faded and the city beyond the windows began to glow with artificial stars. Mrs. Kozlov had prepared something Italianpasta with a sauce that smelled like tomatoes and fresh herbs and someone's grandmother's kitchen.
They ate mostly in silence, but it was comfortable. The kind of quiet that felt full rather than empty, where words weren't necessary because the presence was enough.
Halfway through the meal, Cedric's phone buzzed. He picked it up, expecting another message from Marcus that he'd have to ignore or carefully craft a response to. Instead, it was his mother.
Just wanted to say again how proud I am. I love you so much. Whatever's going on, whatever you're not telling me, just know that I trust you. You're a good man, Cedric. Don't forget that.
He stared at the message until his vision blurred.
"Everything okay?" Falcone asked.
Cedric looked up, this man who'd orchestrated his life, who'd given him everything and taken just as much, who was both his salvation and his cage. "My mom says I'm a good man."
"You are."
"Am I? I'm lying to her. I'm lying to Marcus. I'm sleeping with someone I probably shouldn't. I'm benefiting from money that's made through"He stopped, shook his head. "I don't feel like a good man."
"Good men aren't perfect men, Cedric. They're men who keep trying despite their flaws. Who love their families and try to do better." Falcone's gaze was steady, unflinching. "You're a good man who's surviving in circumstances you didn't choose. There's no shame in that."
"Even if I'm starting to like those circumstances? Even if I don't want to leave?"
"Especially then." Falcone reached across the table, his hand palm-up in invitation. "Wanting happiness doesn't make you bad. It makes you human."
Cedric placed his hand in Falcone's, their fingers interlacing. The touch was warm, grounding, real.
"I texted her back," Cedric said. "Told her she could come for dinner on Saturday. Here. If that's still okay."
"More than okay."
"She's going to have questions. Lots of them."
"I'd be disappointed if she didn't."
"And you're going to answer them? Honestly?"
Falcone considered this. "I'll answer them as honestly as I can without frightening her or putting anyone in danger. I won't lie. But I may... omit certain details."
"Like what you actually do for a living."
"Like specific aspects of my business that would only worry her without changing anything." Falcone squeezed his hand. "She doesn't need to know everything to know that you're safe and cared for."
"She's smart. She's going to figure out something's not normal about all this."
"I'm counting on it. Mothers always do." Falcone's expression turned thoughtful. "My own mother knew what my father was from the day she married him. She chose him anyway. Chose the life, the complications, all of it. Because sometimes love is more important than safety."
"That's a dangerous philosophy."
"Most things worth having are."
They finished dinner as the city lights came on one by one, turning the view into a constellation of possibilities and promises. Cedric thought about his mother's text, about Saturday dinner, about Falcone meeting the most important person in his life besides Lily.
He thought about Marcus, still texting periodically, still trying to arrange meetings, still believing Cedric was feeding him intel. He thought about the lies and the half-truths and the carefully maintained fiction that he was still working for the police.
He thought about the veterinary clinic with his name on the deed, about Cornell accepting his application for spring semester, about the study room full of books chosen just for him.
Most of all, he thought about the man sitting across from him, dangerous and devoted in equal measure, who'd upended his entire life and then carefully, deliberately put it back together in a new shape.
"What are you thinking about?" Falcone asked.
"Everything. Nothing." Cedric managed a small smile. "How my life was supposed to be one way and ended up completely different. How I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, for this to turn into something ugly or cruel. How it hasn't yet and I don't know what to do with that."
"You don't have to do anything with it. You can just... be here. Let it be what it is."
"Which is what, exactly?"
Falcone stood, moving around the table to where Cedric sat. Pulled him to his feet and into his arms, holding him close. "Two complicated people trying to build something good out of complicated circumstances. That's all we have to be."
Cedric buried his face in Falcone's shoulder, breathing in his scentcologne and something uniquely him, something that had become synonymous with safety and home despite everything that should make those associations impossible.
"I'm scared," he admitted, the words muffled against expensive fabric. "Of my mom meeting you. Of her seeing through everything. Of having to explain things I don't understand myself. Of her being disappointed in me."
"She won't be."
"You don't know that."
"I know she's your mother. I know she loves you. That's all that matters." Falcone's arms tightened around him. "Everything else we'll figure out together."
They stood like that for a long time, wrapped in each other, as the night deepened around them and the city hummed its endless song. When they finally pulled apart, Cedric felt steadier. Not certainhe wasn't sure he'd ever feel certain about anything again~but steadier.
"Come on," Falcone said, taking his hand. "Let's go upstairs. You've had a long day."
"It's only eight o'clock."