Chapter 63: Am I in love ?

Chapter 63: Am I in love ?
Anneliese's POV

“You sure you want to stay here alone?” Caleb asked ,there was concern in his eyes.

“Yes, I'm sure, thank you.” I said , nodding.

“Alright then, be safe, if you need anything,just let me know, I will be hanging around here.”, He said and I nodded watching him leave.

It's another day and I just woke up feeling completely drained and unhappy, I don't know why the thought of Damien came back.

I tried so hard to get rid of it but it only got worse.

The feeling of anger.

The feeling of bitterness.

And that of sorrow .

I couldn't help any of them , I felt like seeing him and slapping the life out of him or even oh his father who proposed the marriage idea.

I know my parents regretted their decisions and they hated what they did before they died but the apologies did not change a thing.

If only they didn't agree to the arranged marriage deal, I wouldn't have met Damien.

“You're in love…I know how you're feeling, I've been there before.”, Caleb's voice rang in my head.

No, I'm not in love, I just got attached.

Maybe I'm just missing his presence , like it is totally okay to feel somehow after being separated from someone you've been with for three whole months.

We were not always together but we traveled together, fought and had a lot of moments, even though they were accidental and unwanted, we still had them.

I decided to come to this beach this evening and I'm grateful there were not many people around here.

I sat by the sea for a few minutes watching the waves come and go.

I will eventually get over this, I know I will.
I don't even know why I still have him in mind, I thought I have gotten over him but it hurts.

As a young girl, I always have a dream to get married, to a rich prince charming , I have always wanted my man to be my first and last husband, I wanted to get married just one man on earth, have children with him and live together forever but it seems life is cruel and dreams can be twisted.

I felt a tear run down my face and I wiped it away.

I stood up and took a few steps around the sea.

The memories of me as a young girl flowed in. My dad used to take me to the beach. It was always beautiful, with me running around the shore with a kite in hand and a cookie in order in my little bikini.

I laughed at the memories, I was still enjoying the view when my eyes caught something….an old woman.

She was carrying a box which was filled with seashells.

She looked like she was struggling with it and she kind of reminded me of how my mother struggled—avoiding carrying heavy objects while she was still on earth.

I felt bad for the woman so I rushed to her to help her with the box.

“Good evening madam, I saw you were kind of struggling with this box , is it something that I can help with? “ I asked with a smile on my face.

Oh, thank you so much young lady, yes but you don't have to worry, you see , my back is not what it used to be anymore, just last year, I was able to carry two boxes at once but now…”, she released a sigh.

“Ah, I understand you and I'm sorry about that.”
“There's nothing to be sorry about my dear , go enjoy yourself. I will take care of the box myself.” she said and I shook my head.

“No, I insist I want help.” I said and she looked up, she stared at me for a few seconds and then a smile appeared on her wrinkled face.

“Thank you so much, It's very rare to find such kind hearted young women like you these days.” she said.

“Anytime, why shouldn't I help when I know someday I would also become like you, where are you heading to by the way?” I asked 

“I am going to my house, it's not far from here,just right on this shore.”

“Oh, that's great , I would love to have a house on the shore too someday.” I said , I was already dreaming about how fun it will be having a house right next to the sea, sleeping and waking to the sound of the peaceful waves.

My husband loved the shore so much, he is not usually a sea lover but when we got married , we had our honeymoon here and I fell in love with sea and Benjamin,my dear husband decided to get a house here, I was so excited, we usually pack a lot of sea shells to celebrate our anniversary like I'm doing now, he passed away last year and I hope we meet again in the after life.” She said and I felt sorry for her.

“Awwn, your husband is such a sweet person, I'm so sorry about your loss.” , I said .

“Yes, he is sweet, Benjamin is the sweetest lost man on earth .”

“You are lucky” I smiled at her.

“Don't worry, you too will have the sweetest man when you are ready, you're a sweet soul and only sweet souls attract other sweet souls.” She said and we laughed.

“Hmm..I wish things actually really works that way.”

“What do you mean?”

I wanted to tell her to forget about it, I did not want to tell her about my marriage life but since she can trust me with hers and as people always say, the old ones are the wisest so I decided to share what's on my mind.

“I actually got married.”, I started.

“Wow, I hope he's treating this angel right, heh?” She smirked.

“I wish, but we divorced.”

“Why? What happened?”

“It's an arranged marriage, it wasn't built on love but on business transactions.” I went ahead to explain everything to her, “I try so hard to forget about him but most times he just stuck there , in my mind, I don't know why. I tried so hard to get rid of thoughts about him but I couldn't, I don't know why , the more I try to forget about him the more he comes to my mind.”

“Hmmm…from the look of things , it seems like the both of you are in love.” The old woman said , we had already gotten to her house by that time, her house was a modest house which was built not not far from the shore, it was a beautiful small blue duplex ,there were flowers planted here and there and ever , the white sand surrounding the building made it look like a mini paradise.

“I'm not in love and I'm so sure he does not love. He clearly hates me, he doesn't want me around him and he torments me at every chance he gets.” I said.

“That's because he loves you, he's probably a broken one who is trying to protect his heart so badly but you know what? He's doing himself more bad than good because the separation would only make things worse for him. You are in love too, love is something you can't avoid most times “

I looked away, is this woman right? Am I in love? 
No!

It can't be!

I can't be in love with someone that doesn't want me ... .or is this woman right about him being in love with me? 

But how can she be in love with me while pushing me away at the same time?  

But what about those moments ? Those little moments we had…the times he looked me in the eyes in a way I don't understand, those little flashes of some emotions I can't figure out, the way he used to taunt Mr and chuckle at my reactions…the kisses we had too.

Could this be true? 

Am I in love with him?

And is he in love with me?