No More Waiting.
I find him exactly where Kael said he’d be. Cassian’s office smells like cedarwood and ink, the faint tang of magic lingering in the air. The door is half open, soft light spilling out into the hall. He’s sitting at his desk, posture sharp, pen moving across a page with careful precision. Like the world isn’t cracking down the middle. Like he hasn’t been pretending I don’t exist. I don’t knock. I just push the door open. He looks up immediately, eyes flashing with surprise, then smoothing back into that calm, unreadable mask. “Miss Rivers,” he says, voice low and polite. “You shouldn't be here.”
“Don’t.” The word comes out sharper than I intend. “Don’t act like we’re just professor and student right now.”
He sets the pen down with deliberate slowness. “What would you prefer we act like?”
“Like people who share a bond.” I close the door behind me and step closer. “You didn’t come to training. You won’t even look at me in class. You act like I don’t exist.”
“I assure you,” he says, tone clipped, “you are not so easily ignored.”
“Then what is it?” I demand. “Because I can feel it, Cassian. The bond. It’s there, alive, and I know you feel it too.”
Something flickers in his eyes—pain, maybe or regret. But it’s gone too fast to catch. He leans back in his chair, arms folding over his chest like armour. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I don’t care.” I move closer to his desk, my voice dropping. “You can’t just avoid this. Avoid me.”
“Allison—”
“No.” My throat tightens, but I push through it. “You don’t get to pretend like none of it happened. I deserve to know what’s going on. Why are you shutting me out?”
He exhales, slow and tired, the sound heavy enough to fill the whole room. “Because it’s the only way to keep you safe.”
“That’s not an answer.” I step around the desk now, close enough to see the strain around his eyes. “If this is about the bond, then we should talk about it. Figure it out. Together.”
He rises suddenly, the chair scraping back. He’s taller than I remember, and the space between us disappears too quickly. “You don’t understand what you’re asking,” he says quietly.
“Then explain it to me.”
He hesitates, muscles tense beneath his shirt, every line of him screaming restraint. “Allison, please—”
“Cassian,” I whisper his name like a dare. “Look at me.”
He does. And for the first time, I see it, the war behind his eyes. The bond flares hot and bright between us, that electric current that pulls, that wants. When I reach out, he catches my wrists before I can touch him. His hands wrap around my arms, firm but not rough, holding me just far enough away. The contact sparks through me like lightning, the bond roaring to life, greedy and alive. My breath catches, his does too, and for a heartbeat we’re both just there...barely holding back.
He closes his eyes, head dropping forward as if the weight of it is too much. “The Council denied my request,” he says finally, voice rough. “I’m not allowed to act on the bond.”
“What?” I whisper.
“I went to them,” he continues, still holding me but softer now. “I asked for permission, for an exemption from the code of conduct. They refused.”
I shake my head, not understanding. “Why? That’s insane. They can’t control fate.”
“They control everything else,” he says bitterly. “When I left the front lines, I made a deal. Ten years of service to Thornhill, under Council oversight, in exchange for my freedom from the war. It’s written, sealed, and signed in blood. If I break that contract, if I act against their orders, they’ll send me back.”
I step closer despite his grip, heart pounding. “Back to the war?”
His eyes open, and for the first time, I see the fear there. “If I’m lucky. If not...execution.”
The word hits me like a punch to the chest. He lets go of my arms slowly, hands falling away as if even that touch is too dangerous to keep. “Do you understand now?” he murmurs. “It’s not that I don’t want to, Allison. It’s that I can’t.”
I stare at him, throat tight, every part of me screaming that this isn’t fair. That the bond doesn’t care about rules or signatures or threats—it just is. And the worst part? The bond hums in agreement, like it’s daring me to defy the Council myself.
But all I can manage is a whisper. “You’re still mine.”
His gaze softens, tortured. “I know.”
For a moment, neither of us moves. The air between us is heavy with everything we can’t say, every pull we can’t follow.
Then he turns away. “You should go.”
I should. I know I should. But instead, I stand there a moment longer, memorising the sound of his voice, the look of him against the dim light, and the ache that burns through the bond like a wound that won’t close. When I finally leave, the silence feels worse than before. Because now, I understand what’s keeping us apart. And I also understand that I don’t care.
By the time I make it back down the hall, my chest feels too tight, like every word Cassian said is still echoing inside my ribs. Petition for exemption. Denied. Execution. The words loop over and over until I want to scream. Kael and Evander are still waiting in the corridor just like they promised. The moment they see me, Kael straightens, his eyes dark and sharp with worry. “What happened?”
I shake my head, trying to find my voice. “He’s not… he’s not allowed to.”
Evander steps closer, his touch gentle as he tilts my chin up. “What do you mean, not allowed?”
I swallow hard. The burn behind my eyes makes it hard to breathe. “He petitioned the Council for an exemption, so we could...so he could at least acknowledge the bond. They denied him.” My voice cracks on the last word. “If he breaks their rules, they’ll send him back to the front lines. Or kill him.”
For a long moment, neither of them speaks. Kael’s jaw flexes, the cords in his neck standing out, and Evander exhales through his nose like he’s trying to contain something too big for words.
“That’s bullshit,” Kael growls finally. “They can’t control that. They can’t control fate.”
“I don’t think they care,” I whisper. “They control him.”
Evander wraps an arm around me, tucking me against his chest, and Kael steps in close on my other side until I’m surrounded by warmth, solid and grounding.
“He’ll find a way,” Evander says softly. “We’ll find a way.”
But I can still see Cassian’s face, the pain in his eyes when he said I can’t. And as we walk back toward the dorms, I know the truth settling heavy in my chest—He’s trapped and I’m not sure any of us can save him.