Chapter 33

“What’s going on? It’s so unfair that I am left in the dark all of the time.” I huffed and crossed my arms. They all had the audacity to laugh at me.

“You’re so cute when you act mad,” Elli said while coming over and pinching my cheeks. “I could just eat you up.” I smacked his hands away and everyone laughed again. However, no one made a move to answer my question.

“Hello? Can someone answer me please?” They all looked at each other and sighed.

“Someone tried stealing from Dad. We don’t like thieves.” John said with a weird twinkle in his eyes. I could tell that they weren’t telling the whole truth but I didn’t want to push my luck. Ethan kissed the back of my head and sighed in my hair. Ethan is never like this unless something is wrong. I turned my head toward him and saw him deep in thought.

“Are you okay?” I whispered toward him so the boys wouldn’t eavesdrop. He looked up at me and sighed.

“I just-, I feel like-, fu- freak! I can’t even tell you how I’m truly feeling.” Ethan became so flustered with himself. I had never seen him like this. What could be wrong? Did I do something? Did something happen? I just looked at him and sighed.

“Can you guys leave Ethan and me alone right now?” I looked at the boys with pleading eyes.

“Of course Bri. We will be downstairs with the others. Just come and get us if you need anything.” Grayson said while standing. One by one they all left leaving me alone with Ethan.

“What’s wrong Ethan? You can tell me anything.” He looked at me and his mask broke. Tears came to his eyes and I became panicked.

“It’s so stupid! I’m so stupid.” His tears started to fall and my anxiety started to rise.

“Gosh dammit Ethan, just tell me!”

“I feel like you don’t love me as much anymore because of the boys! I feel like I am being put on the back burner.” I was stunned by Ethan’s confession. I got up off of his lap and sat on my bed. He put his head in his hands and cried. I had no words. How could he think that? Have I been such a bad sister? I have let them into my life so fast. Maybe I should distance myself. I’ve been terrible to Ethan. How could I’ve not seen it before? I am such a mess up. He deserves so much better.

“Ethan, I’m so sorry. I’ve been terrible. I don’t know why I’m so stupid. Please forgive me. If you want me to not talk to them, I will. We can move out if you want. I’m-” Ethan cut me off by coming over and pulling me into his arms.

“Bri, I should have been more clear. This isn’t about you.” I looked up at him confused.

“What do you even mean?” He sighed and kissed my head.

“For years, I have spent every waking moment with you. I was your protector. I was your family. I took care of you. I guess when I decided to bring James into your life, I didn’t understand how big the change would be. I guess I don’t want to share you. I want to be your person. I’m just scared they will replace me. I love you so much. I need you.” I squeezed Ethan even harder.

“They could never, ever replace you. Even if something happened to you and you weren’t here anymore, they couldn’t replace you. You will always be my protector and my big brother. You will always be my person. No one could be able to change that. I love you with my whole heart and more. Ethan, you are my big brother for life. You’re not losing me. Also between you and me, you’re my favorite.” He chuckled at the last part and kissed my head. I wiped his tears and smiled at him.

“I love you Bug.”

“I love you Eeteeweetee.” He laughed at his childhood nickname and ruffled my hair. We just sat there, in each other's arms, just enjoying the peace. Unfortunately, a huge yawn came out of my mouth and ruined the moment. “I’m sorry.” He laughed and stood up.

“It’s okay! Let’s get you in bed for a nap.” I just smiled and nodded. I got up and laid down on my bed. Ethan helped me under the covers and tucked me in. He kissed my head and rubbed his hand on my back. “Sweet dreams Bug. I love you.” I sighed and snuggled into my blankets.

“I love you too E.” I heard his footsteps moving toward the door and then the door shutting. It didn’t take long for me to drift into a peaceful sleep.

I woke up to the churning of my stomach. I didn’t even get the chance to move before I threw up all over myself, the bed, and the floor. It seemed to last hours but it only lasted a few minutes. I must have been throwing up in my sleep because there was a pile by my pillow. I kept dry heaving and it started to hurt. After about ten minutes of dry heaving, I was done. I felt gross and weak. I peeled the blanket off of me and made my way downstairs. I had to take it slow because of how weak I felt. Once I got to the stairs, I was in tears. I just wanted to sleep but I couldn’t. I needed help. Slowly but surely, I made my way down the stairs. Once I got to the bottom, I headed toward the voices that were in the dining room. I didn’t care if I didn’t know them, I just wanted help. Once I got closer, the voices started to get louder.

“I can’t believe that low-life scum tried to hurt Bri.” I heard someone say.

“I can’t believe we let him in all these years to find out he was a rat.” Whoever said that spit it out with pure venom.

“Out of all people, Liam had to be the one to do this. Her fucking best friend.” What were they talking about? What about Liam? What did he do? The thoughts that swarmed my mind didn’t help with my situation. The tears streamed down my face as I used the walls to support my weight. I walked straight into the dining room and cried out. All of the boys were sitting there, including dad.

“Oh my! Bri, baby, what happened?” Dad said while jumping up and coming over to me.

“I...sick...all over...bed..floor...me.” I couldn’t even make a full sentence. I just cried out. “Help me. I’m so weak. I just want to sleep.” I was full-on sobbing at this point. I didn’t realize the boys standing and coming around us with their worried expressions.

“Okay, okay.” Dad took me in his arms, not caring about the vomit all over me. “Trevor, go tell Martha to clean it up. It is in her room, on her bed and floor. Also, make sure to pay her extra.” He then turned to me. “We need to get you cleaned up now princess.” He lifted me in his arms and I snuggled right into him. I heard him ordering the boys around but I was too weak to care. I felt him starting to move and I whimpered. “Sh, it’s okay honey.” We ended up in his huge bathroom. He started to fill the tub with bubbles and warm water. It was calling my name but I knew I couldn’t bathe myself right now. Once the tub was filled, Dad turned to me. “Okay honey, I know you can’t bathe yourself right now. I will help you okay?” I just nodded and let the tears continue to run down my face. “No more tears, okay?” I tried to stop them but they kept coming. He carefully helped me out of my clothes and lifted me into the bath. The bubbles covered me completely so I didn’t have to worry. However, I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. Once Dad let me go, I started to fall right away. “Oh honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t know how weak you were. I got you now.” One of his hands held me up while the other sat on my shoulder giving me comfort. He gave me body wash and a rag and turned away while I washed. This made me cry even more. Moving seemed to make everything worse. He encouraged me without looking to give me some privacy. Once I said I was done, he quickly grabbed a towel and scooped me up. He wrapped it around me and sat me on the toilet seat. I could barely keep my eyes open at this point and was putting my full weight onto dad. He quickly managed to get me dressed and into his bed. He pulled me into his arms right away. His warmth soothed my whole body and I relaxed. I let my body go and I slipped into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up to the burning of my chest and my head pounding. It seemed like someone was hitting my head with a metal baseball bat. I felt my legs moving before I had time to register the familiar churning of my stomach. I was thankfully in front of the toilet before it started. I felt the bile leave my body. The burning was almost unbearable. I had nothing left for my body to throw up, yet I continued to dry heave. A few minutes passed and it seemed only to get worse.

“Help-” I cut myself off with another fit of dry heaves. I heard faint footsteps but nothing near the room. “Help!” Again I was cut off by myself. I heard the footsteps move faster and toward the room. Within the minute, Grayson was kneeling next to me, holding back my hair and rubbing my back.

“Of Love Bug, I’m so sorry.” Another few minutes had passed and Grayson was getting worried, I felt it. “I’m going to call for Dad, okay?” I just nodded, unable to speak. “Dad! Father! Padre!, James!” By the time he got to James, Dad was next to us.

“What’s wrong with my baby!” He said more in a statement than a question. I felt his hand on my back also, rubbing circles.

“She’s been like this for like 10 minutes now, not counting before she called me in here.” I felt Dad tense and stand up.

“I’m going to go get some of your nausea medication, okay?” I just nodded with my head in the toilet. Only a few moments later, I felt the alcohol pad on my arm and felt the little prick. Almost immediately, I stopped dry heaving and fell into Dad's arms. That took so much energy out of me. He squeezed me in his arms and rubbed my back.

“P-P-Please don’t s-s-send me back,” I whispered out. As soon as the words left my mouth, I was put into a coughing fit. My throat burned as well as my chest. My head pounded even more. My throat was also raw and dry. I felt a cup at my lips and drank whatever it was greedy. After it was gone, I laid my head back on Dad.

“Oh Love, I’m not going to send you back. However, if it gets worse, I will be forced to take you back. I need you to be safe. Even if you hate me, I need you to be healthy.” I sighed and peeled open my tired eyelids.