CHAPTER NINE

Cleaning out the Closets.

Veronica woke thinking about her dinner with Cullen. He’d told her more than she’d expected, and he’d suffered through a lot of grief. Maybe she should go on the porch with her sweet potato pie. Or her cheesecake. Or both. Because she needed to understand and analyze Mystery Man.

Maybe Irish had been right. She was angry at Josh and Jay for leaving her and Elle. Or maybe she was angry at herself for the horrible memories of that day.

Today might be a new beginning. The day she not only cleaned out the closets but also the day she started cleaning away the grief that clung to her like aged cobwebs.

She got dressed and put her hair up in a messy bun, made a strong cup of coffee and cut the big slice of pie into two small pieces. She’d have the cheesecake later. She put on an old wool cardigan and took her sliver of pie and her big mug of coffee out onto the porch. Trudy and Bethany would be here soon.

Trudy pulled up in her BMW and got out with a perfect exit. Smiling at Veronica, she waved and said, “Morning, Veronica.”

Veronica gave her points for not staring at the house in disgust. But then Trudy had hugged her yesterday and told her to let it all out. No one had ever offered her that choice before.

When Bethany drove up in her cute Buick SUV, Trudy sat with Veronica, rocking away on the front porch.

Trudy looked as regal as ever in designer jeans, a classic tan wool overcoat and a creamy turtleneck sweater. “You seem in a better mood today. Are you ready for this?”

“As ready as I can be. I did okay yesterday, but now it’s about to get real.”

She lifted out of her rocking chair, wishing she could stay there all day. Lulu took that as a sign to come up off her favorite rug and woof at nothing in particular.

Trudy stood and hugged Bethany. “So, how are you this morning?”

Bethany smiled. “Better. I stayed up half the night reading the books you gave me. Trudy, I can’t thank you enough. I think I can be assertive now instead of passive-aggressive.”

“A pupil at my feet,” Trudy said with a grin. “Assertive and firm. But we are all allowed a little hissy fit now and then.”

“Do not make that an assignment,” Veronica said, dreading the day. “Because I had a major meltdown last week in the Camellia Boutique.”

“Do tell,” Trudy said as they all went into the house.

While they got out of their jackets and put away their purses, she told them what happened. “Marcy was kind, but a tad worried I’d wreck the whole place, I think. I can’t go back in there.”

“Yes, you can, and you will,” Trudy said. “Show some backbone. The opposite of a meltdown, darling, is a lifting up. Lift yourself up and keep at it.”

“Is that my next assignment?” Veronica asked, afraid Trudy would say yes.

She did. “Yes. But do it whenever you know you’re ready. You have to practice that maneuver until it’s perfected.”

“Says the voice of experience?” Veronica asked.

“Don’t you know it.”

Then in her typical Trudy fashion, she turned the conversation back to the business at hand. “Now let’s talk about your closets.”

She’d said goodbye to Josh’s clothes, alone, after Cullen had left. She and Lulu sitting in the closet that smelled of spice and the ocean until they’d both finally curled up and fallen asleep. Veronica had come awake around three a.m. on the closet floor with one of Josh’s old coats hugged against her. She’d gotten in the bed with the coat and her dog hurried to curl up in her bed on the floor.

Memories circled around her—the tuxedo from their wedding, the newer tuxedo he’d worn to most of Trudy’s parties. The wool sweater she’d given him for his birthday five years ago. The hunting boots, the dress shoes, the messy tennis shoes. The Atlanta Braves T-shirt. All memories now. Just memories.

But this morning, she felt better. For now. “The pie helps,” she told Trudy as she downed the last bite.

“Pie cures just about anything,” Trudy said, her shrewd gaze taking in the house as they entered.

Veronica had tidied up a bit, but it looked like a dump compared to Trudy’s grand estate. Oh, well. “I have fresh coffee.”

Bethany looked green. “I can’t drink coffee right now.”

“You need tea,” Trudy said. “I’m sure Veronica has some.”

“I think I do.”

They went into the kitchen, but Veronica had nothing to offer except some old crackers, cereal, or soup. Veronica started talking. “I went to every game, volunteered for every fundraising event. Watching my children thrive was such a joy. Elle loved cheerleading and Jay loved Little League. I always thought he’d play in high school, maybe even college.” She lowered her head. “I kept his baseball glove.”

“Keeping his glove is a sweet gesture,” Trudy said.

Bethany teared up. “Hormones,” she mumbled. “I can’t imagine that kind of pain.”

Veronica nodded, feeling a bit of a lift. “It’s a sharp pain that tricks you into a numbness, and you think you’ll be okay, that you’re better. Then you pick up an old Little League glove and that pain is back, jagged and cruel, so intense you can’t catch your breath. It’s the worst kind of pain and it knocked me off my feet.”

Trudy and Bethany both reached for her, taking her hands in theirs. They sat silent while she talked about Josh and Jay.

Then she said, “Thank you. No one likes to hear it, but it helps to speak of them.” She lifted her hand up. “But early this morning, I went ahead and packed Josh’s stuff too. While I had the nerve, before I could change my mind.”

“That’s a step,” Trudy said, smiling. “Now we’ll just bring them all downstairs. Bethany, you only carry lightweight boxes.”

After a while, drained from the few hours they’d worked getting all the boxes downstairs, Veronica gathered them back in the kitchen. “I have cheesecake.”

“From Little Italy?” Trudy lifted one dark brow after seeing the restaurant’s logo on the plastic container. “How did that come about?”

Bethany’s eyes lit up. “I feel like eating now.”

“We’ll share,” Veronica said, finding three forks.

Trudy gave her the ‘judge stare.’ “How did you get this?”

“Uh, Cullen came to see me last night.”

“Our Cullen?” Bethany asked, her eyes growing wider with each bite she took.

“Yep.” Veronica hadn’t planned on telling them this. “He brought food and I learned a little about him.”

“You did?” Trudy even ate cheesecake from a plastic container with elegance and grace.

“Yes.” She told them what little he’d said about his childhood. “He says he’s back to decide what to do with the lodge and campground. I think he lived closer into town than he’s letting on. His maternal grandmother brought him here.”

“Did he mention her name?”

“No. He’s very tight-lipped about her and his mean grandfather, a native Georgian.”

“You did good.”

“I’m too curious for my own good, but then he offered to stay and just sit with me while I packed Jay’s things. He left me to be alone with Josh one last time.”

“I think it’s romantic,” Bethany said, her eyes dreamy. “But then, I read a lot of Regency romance.”

Trudy laughed. “I like women’s fiction. And of course, suspense.”

Veronica nodded. “I love beach books.”

“We could start a book club, but for us,” Bethany replied. “But this thing with Cullen and you—now I can live vicariously through you.”

“That won’t be so romantic,” Veronica said between bites. Pie for breakfast. Cheesecake for lunch. Not a good pattern. “There is nothing between us other than friendship. And that’s fragile at best.”

“Ah, but there is,” Trudy assured her. “I saw the way you were trying not to look at each other in our first meeting.” She sighed. “I remember that first sizzle of awareness between a man and a woman. Now I’m living with the fizzle. Poof. Out like a light.”

“Have you heard from your husband?” Veronica asked.

“No, not one word. But I’m sure my lawyers have sent him a message from me. It starts with D-i-v-o-r-c-e.” Taking a big chunk of cheesecake, Trudy said, “Distract me with more about Cullen.”

She explained about how the flyer had floated down to her feet on the sidewalk. “Cullen thinks God made it happen. I contribute it to a bad wind.” She shook her head. “Then I literally ran into him on my walk, and The Walkers were hurrying by, staring.”

“And you’ve enjoyed that attention,” Trudy surmised.

“Well, yes,” Veronica admitted. “Revenge is a sweet dish at times.”

“But redemption is much sweeter in the end,” Trudy retorted. “I think, however, you’re allowed a bit of fun.”

“I’m so glad I have your permission,” Veronica shot back.

“It is odd how he brought us all together,” Bethany said. “How did he know we were all bummed out about the holidays?”

“Exactly.” Veronica remembered what he’d told her last night. “He left my flyer on the front door. He said it wasn’t meant for me. Maybe he knew my in-laws?”

Trudy studied their empty food box. “It is intriguing and troubling, but I needed something like this to pull me back to the real world.” She shrugged. “We only have three more meetings and then maybe he’ll explain. Meantime, we can try to put the pieces of this puzzle together.”

“In a covert way,” Veronica said, her heart already racing.

“He is purty,” Bethany said, drawing out the p-u-r-t-y part. “Those eyes and that accent. He’s like someone out of one of my favorite books. Maybe the Heathcliff type.”

Veronica had no comment on Cullen’s outstanding features. “He’s a type, all right. I need to find out which one.”

“Purty, tormented, tough. Veronica has found herself a bad boy.” Trudy winked at her. “Might be exactly what you need.”

“What I need is more cheesecake,” Veronica quipped. “But I had to go and share it with y’all.”

They all laughed at that, and she smiled, thinking about Cullen, and her unexpected new friends, and sweet potato pie. She would not share the rest of that pie.

Then Trudy turned serious. “You ready? Hillman will be here soon to load things up. He came by yesterday and already loaded my husband’s entire wardrobe into his truck. That man spent too much on fancy suits.”

“I have my boxes ready,” Bethany said. “I don’t have much to give away, but I did find some clothes that don’t fit.”

Veronica shook her head and smiled, then started clearing the table. Turning at the sink, she said, “Thank you both for being here. For showing up.”

Trudy and Bethany smiled at her.

“That’s what friends are for,” Bethany said, sounding like the old song sung by Rod Stewart, and Dionne and Friends. “I can’t believe I have you two now.”

Trudy put a well-manicured finger on each of their arms. “Yes,” she said. “You have to be my friends now. You both know too much.”

Veronica’s cell rang later that night while she did an online search of Cullen Murdock. So far, she’d found a lot of Murdock people, but not one that matched Cullen. Did he even have an online presence?

Probably not, because he appeared to be mystical and mysterious and almost too good to be true. She could be dreaming, and she’d wake up soon.

She almost didn’t answer since she’d only hours ago packed up her husband’s clothing. She’d kept the one coat she had woken up with, and now she wanted to go to bed and hold that warm coat close. But she saw Elle’s image pop up on her screen.

“Elle?” She sat up on the couch, causing Lulu to woof in protest. “How are you, sweetheart?”

“I’m okay. How are you?” Elle asked in a flat, dutiful voice.

That hurt.

“I’m . . . uh . . . I packed up some things today.”

“What kind of things?”

“Your father and Jay’s clothes. Some friends and I took them to the Methodist Mission House. For others to use.”

“What?” Elle’s voice lifted. “Really, Mom, you actually did that?”

“I did, honey. It’s a long story, but on the same day I got your last message, I also got an invitation to a get-together.”

She told Elle the whole story, including Cullen, but she left out the part about all that sizzle Trudy thought she’d witnessed between the two of them.

“Elle?”

“Mom, that’s amazing. I’m sorry I left that message. I’d had a bad day and I missed you.”

“I miss you too,” Veronica said, her eyes misting. “I’m going to keep attending these meetings and see what happens. It’s hard, the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time. But cleaning the closets is the first step. No, change that. Making it up to you, that’s the first step.”

“I’ll be fine, Mom. I’m sorry I can’t get there for Christmas, but maybe after Christmas?”

“I’d love that,” Veronica said, hearing the lifting plea in that question. “You know I want to see you and Chase. I’m so excited about your engagement. And as I told you in the ten voice messages I left, I want to be there, okay?”

“Okay.” Elle went quiet—so like her dad used to do. “I’m thinking late spring.”

“That soon, huh?”

“Yes, we want simple and not a lot of fuss.”

“I like that idea.”

“And Mom, I’m hoping we can get married in the backyard.”

“Excuse me?”

“At our house. Your house, okay?”

“Uh . . . that’s wonderful. We’ll make it happen.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” She’d be sure. She had to be sure.

Only, she wasn’t so sure. She was planning to sell the house. Should she tell Elle now? No. She’d lose that precious thread that held them together. Soon, she’d explain. She’d hide the sign if Elle did come home for Christmas.

Once, she would have jumped on this. A big event, a tent with lilies everywhere. White lilies to match the white wicker out on the back patio. Caterers and wedding planners and Jay as an attendant and Josh giving their daughter away. Elle would make a beautiful bride. She had Josh’s coloring, but her hair came close to being like Veronica’s. Where Veronica had curls that couldn’t be contained, Elle’s hair fell in long, golden-brown waves against her shoulders. Veronica could see the wedding in her head, but in her heart, she ached to rush and talk to Josh about the big day.

“We can talk details later,” Elle said, sounding not so convinced. “I have to go. Busy day at work tomorrow.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye, Mom.”

They used to say “I love you” before they hung up. How long had it been since Veronica had heard those words? Or said those words.

She needed air.

“Let’s go out on the porch, Lulu.”

Lulu agreed and came running.

The cold night hit her, but the fresh air gave Veronica the jolt she needed. “What a day.”

Lulu woofed in compliance.

Veronica went to the porch rail and leaned out. “A wedding here in the spring. Lulu, we have much work to do.” She ignored the For Sale sign by the gate.

She heard footsteps padding up the sidewalk. Ducking back, she wondered who could be out this late on such a chilly night.

Him. Again.

Veronica pulled her lounge sweater close, her hands holding the soft, worn material against her. “We have stalking laws in Hidden Mountain. Just saying.”

He stood at the gate and stared up at her. “I’m not stalking. I’m checking.”

“On me?” That shouldn’t have touched her so much, but it did. “I’m fine.”

“Right.” He waited a couple of beats. “May I enter?”

Lulu ran down to greet him, which, of course, made him think he had permission.

“Well, since Lulu didn’t bite you, sure.”

“Lulu and I have an understanding.”

“Well, you and I don’t.”

He came to stand at the steps but didn’t move forward. “Look, you had a rough day, right?”

“Yes.” She couldn’t muster up pretending. “I certainly did. But there were some good parts.”

“I helped Hillman and Trudy take all the stuff to the mission house, so I wanted to see how you’re doing. I won’t come in. Just tell me you’re okay.”

“I’ll be okay. I’m . . . going to be okay. My daughter called a little while ago.”

She told him there in the cold, about the closets, about Trudy and Bethany and the cheesecake, about Elle’s call.

“As you can see, you’ve started a whole chain of events, but I’m not doing this for you. My daughter needs me—all of me. A better me.”

“We can all be a better me, I think.” Then he gave her what might have been a smile. “A spring wedding,” he said, his tone sad, even from a distance. “That sounds lovely.”

“Lovely, it should be, yes. But this house”—she waved her hand in the air—“is anything but lovely. And it’s for sale. I haven’t told my daughter that yet.”

“Be honest with her. She needs to know the house might not be available. Once you get past that, things will be great.”

“You can’t promise that. I had great once, but it went away out on a country road in about ten seconds.”

He didn’t speak. She waited, holding her breath. Had he finally gotten the message that she didn’t need him hovering around? Even if her heart seemed to think otherwise.

“There is great, and then there is making things great,” he finally replied. “I think that’s why I came back here.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t have a good childhood. I hope this time, things will be better for you.”

“It will be, soon.” Then he waved. “Good night, Veronica.”

Surprised he’d given up so easily, she said, “Good night, Cullen.”

She went back inside, exhausted, drained, dazed, and confused. When she glanced out the window, he was gone.

“What just happened?” she asked Lulu.

Lulu did a little whimper and then headed upstairs to her doggie bed.

“Good idea.”

Veronica got into bed, thinking she wouldn’t get any sleep. But she did sleep. And she dreamed of a wedding in the garden in spring, white blossoms showering down over the whole yard. A woman in white walking to meet her groom.

But she couldn’t see the bride’s face.