CHAPTER TWENTY

The Grand Finale Weekend.

“This is pretty, Mom,” Elle said, bringing out a black cashmere turtleneck. “It’ll look good with some tan- or cream skinny jeans and your black booties.”

“Too severe?” Veronica asked, holding the sweater up to her bra. “Or sophisticated?”

“Def sophisticated,” Elle said. “Wear some chunky earrings and red lipstick and, Mom, comb your hair and leave it down.”

“You’re trying really hard on my behalf,” Veronica replied. “But I do like your fashion sense. Speaking of that, have you started looking at dresses? We only have a few months to plan this wedding.”

“I want something simple,” Elle said. “A flowing skirt and sleeveless, but not something I have to keep pulling up over my seriously lacking bosom.”

“So, with pretty straps,” Veronica said, smiling. “That’s so you, honey. And your bosom is fine.”

Elle made a face and glanced down. “I’ve saved a few pictures of gowns.” She grabbed her phone and showed Veronica three different dresses, all with modest necklines, wide straps, and lacy flowing skirts. “I can’t decide. Maybe we can shop together in Atlanta.”

“Bridals by Lori,” they both said together. “Say Yes to the Dress!”

Lulu jumped up from her spot on the rug by the closet, ready for any outing.

“Monte can help me,” Elle said, laughing. Then her eyes teared up. “I wish—”

“I know,” Veronica said, sitting down next to her. “You wish Dad and Jay could be there. I do too.”

“But you can give me away, right?” Elle asked, sounding young and afraid.

“I’d be happy to give you away, but only at the wedding.” Veronica hugged her tight. “I want to keep you with me for a long, long time.”

“Mom, you’re crushing me,” Elle said, giggling. Then she pulled back. “It’s like you’re you again, but different.”

Veronica closed her eyes and let the memories flow while she held tight. How could she sell this house now?

“I am different,” she admitted when she drew back and looked at her daughter. “But I’m still in here, somewhere.” She brushed at Elle’s hair. “I had to get tough with myself.”

“Does Cullen have something to do with this new-still-you?”

“Yes, in a roundabout way. But Elle, I need you to understand. I decided to go to these meetings after you left me that text. You were the catalyst that got me started back on the right road. I met Cullen and the others along the way.”

“Maybe so,” Elle said. “But would you have really made the effort without ever knowing these new friends?”

“I’d already begun,” Veronica said. “But this is like a therapy group, only better. These people make me laugh and doing things with them made me realize what I’ve been missing.” Then she touched a hand to Elle’s golden waves. “I’ve been missing you the most, so I knew I had to change. God had to hit me on the head, so to speak.”

Elle nodded. “God moves us in the right direction—we both know that. Even when everything’s so wrong, he moves us.”

“You are so wise,” Veronica said. “And I’m so glad you’re home. And hey, we have a tree to finish decorating before I leave.”

“Okay, and I need pizza. I can’t wait to show Chase everything, the coffee shop, the Camellia, the library. The whole tour.” She stood to go downstairs.

“I’ll be down to help decorate,” Veronica said. “I left . . . some of the special ornaments so we could hang them together.”

Elle left her, Lulu following.

The quiet of the bedroom haunted Veronica. She hurriedly put on the black sweater and her skinny tan-colored jeans and black booties. Then she grabbed her favorite Frye tote and crammed in a small makeup bag and the gifts she’d gotten for her new friends. Nothing much, just wool wraps for the women and wool scarves for the men. To keep them warm.

But her nerves jittered like bees on honey. How could she face Cullen, knowing what she’d found out? Should she tell him she understood now? The new name, the reasons why he’d been so mysterious. He’d reinvented himself, but would he open up to her completely? Or would he be angry that she’d vetted him and found out about Troy working for him?

When she got downstairs, the tree was by the fireplace and the decorations were scattered in boxes. “I see you found everything.”

Chase chuckled. “You did leave us a lot, but I like hearing the stories behind these ornaments.”

Elle held up a bright, round pink ornament. “My first Christmas.” Then another in blue. “Jay’s first Christmas.”

Veronica nodded, her breath caught tightly against her throat. Then she hung the ornament near Elle’s.

Chase found a moose wearing a bright hat. “He’s cute.”

“We got that one at a little shop on the Appalachian Trail,” Elle explained. “Jay loved animals. He had to have this.”

Elle found a figurine of a dancer all dressed up for Christmas. “Look! I got this one in Helen. I loved going there during Christmas.”

“Helen has Christmas all year,” Veronica said, referring to the quaint mountain town that had a rumbling stream flowing through it. She smiled with each ornament, holding her breath against the sense of panic she’d expected. Her chest ached with unspoken things. Her mind played with distant memories.

Elle kept glancing at her as they hung snowmen, little elves, a baseball bat, Santa on a ladder, Christmas cookies they’d baked and painted years ago, and finally the bright white star.

“How are you doing, Mom?”

“I’m good,” Veronica said. “It’s nice to have these memories with you.”

Elle hugged her close while Chase turned on the lights, and Lulu barked her approval. “I’ve missed this house and . . . Christmas.”

“The tree is lovely,” Veronica told Elle, the guilt of trying to let go nagging at her. “I don’t like leaving so soon after you came home to see me.”

Elle’s eyebrows folded together in a mock frown. “Mom, Chase and I will be fine. And we’ll be here when you get back. We can visit all night if we want.”

After they left on foot, all bundled up, Veronica cleared away the ornament bins, taking a moment to stare at the tree.

Checking the weather, she grabbed her camel trench coat and her winter-white scarf. Lulu came running, ready for their adventure. Smiling when she thought of Chase and Elle, Veronica hurried out the door.

When she got in her car, she sat staring up at the house. The porch lights glowed enough to show off the natural wreath, the windows shined with lamplight and the glow left from the waning fire. She closed her eyes and remembered her life, the images moving through her head like an old video, from their wedding until the birth of her children and beyond. She and Josh had a good life, a busy, normal, average life, in a home she’d come to love. Until that Christmas Eve when a Georgia state trooper had shown up on her doorstep, the sparkling snowflake lights Josh had strung across the house so bright in her eyes while the officer told her what had happened.

She cried a little bit and then she cranked the SUV and made her way through town, the Christmas decorations dimming as she slowly drove up the misty mountain road. No matter how this last meeting turned out, Veronica knew she’d be okay. She had her daughter back.

Cullen tried to stay steady, but this last meeting would be the most important one. No matter how this ended, he’d always appreciate the time he’d had with Veronica. She’d been unexpected and surprising, and she’d changed his preconceived notions about this town.

He’d come here with a purpose, but that purpose had changed drastically since the first meeting. He’d thought of this venture as a chess game, one where he knew all the moves and where he could be the chess master. It had stopped being a game that first night, when he sat listening to the real humans he’d managed to bring together. Now, he wouldn’t be alone during this rough time of year—one goal accomplished. He’d have people he trusted around him. He only prayed they’d still want him around.

Especially Veronica.

Hillman strolled into the lodge kitchen. “What are we cooking tonight?”

Cullen put away his doubts and questions and opened the squeaky oven door. “Prime rib, with roasted vegetables and potatoes au gratin.”

“You never disappoint,” Hillman replied. “I can’t wait for dessert.”

Cullen smiled and took a sip of wine. “Hillman, I appreciate you keeping things close to your vest.”

“It’s not my story to tell, Cullen,” Hillman said. “I’m glad you thought of including me.”

Cullen nodded. “I had to include you. You practically saved me from myself all those years ago.”

“I almost didn’t recognize the man you’ve become,” Hillman admitted. “You’ve certainly changed from that scared little boy, and not in name only.”

“Aren’t we all still scared little boys inside?” Cullen asked, memories darkening his mood.

“I suppose so,” Hillman replied. When they heard voices coming from the front door, he didn’t add anything else.

Lulu came galloping into the kitchen to give them a woof of a greeting. Hillman petted her, then left Cullen to go greet the others.

“Hi, girl,” Cullen said, kneeling on one knee to pet the big dog. “Did you bring Veronica with you?”

Lulu barked.

Cullen glanced up to find her standing there, staring at him with her dog. “You did bring her. Good girl.”

“She drove,” Veronica said on a deadpan note.

“That’s good. The roads are a bit tricky tonight.”

She looked amazing, classy, and understated.

“Black. You chose black for our Christmas party.”

“I do have a sense of humor.”

“I like it.”

“My daughter actually suggested this look.”

“She has excellent taste.”

Veronica ventured close. “That smells like . . . Christmas.”

“Our last meal,” he said with a definite finality.

“It could be,” she said, her green eyes as questioning as ever. “When we get a chance later, I’d like to talk to you alone.”

“I’m always up for that,” he said. He washed his hands and went back to pre-work on the food.

“You might not be this time, but . . . we’ll see.”

He felt the dare in that statement. She wasn’t going to let him off so easily. He didn’t expect anything less from Veronica Cearley.

He turned to stare over at her, the big counter between them. Then he stretched his arm toward her, his hand reaching to take hers. “Merry Christmas, Veronica.”

She leaned over the counter and laced her fingers with his. “Merry Christmas, Cullen.”

Veronica had to decide what to do about Cullen. She could handle most of his tightly held secrets, but she needed to talk to him about Troy and Bethany.

He’d been honest about his possible plans for this property, and about his past. He’d changed his name and reinvented himself. Wasn’t she trying to do the same with her plans—sell her home, recreate herself somewhere new, or stay here with a new attitude?

She understood why he had this need to have people here, even if his methods were quirky. But she would let him know he shouldn’t have kept a pregnant woman and her workaholic husband apart during the holidays.

To keep her mind off Cullen, Veronica took her wine and left the kitchen, finding it hard to look at Bethany. Trudy and Cullen worked side by side finishing the meal, while Hillman stoked the fire and checked on everything else. Bethany had ridden with Trudy, but now she was talking to Hillman.

“The lodge looks great, Hillman,” Veronica told him. “I’m sure you helped with that, right?”

He nodded, pride shining in his eyes. “Cullen and I checked every room and fixed things—cleaned the bathrooms and washed down the walls of the bedrooms. Even washed the old linens and put them on the beds. I’d forgotten how big this place really is. At least eight thousand square feet.”

“So you’ve measured?” she asked, thinking Hillman and Cullen had become chummy.

“We estimated after finding some old blueprints. We cleaned it up in case the weather does get worse, and we get stuck here. The place needed perking up. You know, for Christmas.”

Veronica shot Bethany a glance. “I hadn’t planned on staying. My daughter is in town. She and her fiancé went to eat pizza and enjoy the decorations. I’d like to get home tonight.”

“Trudy made me bring an overnight bag,” Bethany said. “She said she would not drive a pregnant woman down an icy road.”

“So Bethany, is Troy coming home for Christmas?” They hadn’t talked much about the latest on that angle, and now, she sure wanted to know.

“He promised me he’d be here tomorrow at the latest,” Bethany said. “He sounded good, less stressed and more than ever determined to get home.” She glanced out the window. “If he can make it.”

“That’s a good sign, him wanting to come home,” Veronica said. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Bethany said in a low whisper. “Cullen must have some clout because he texted me that he’d checked on Troy and according to his immediate boss, he’s been hard at work. When Cullen explained things, Troy’s boss told him he could take a few days off. Troy won’t get fired; they need him too much.”

“Hmm. I’m impressed he managed to pull that off.”

“I’m glad he did,” Bethany said. “No matter how he did it.” Then her friend said, “I’m starving, of course,” and headed for the snack table.

Bethany looked pretty in a loose blue sweater tunic and jeans. She’d worn hiking boots so she wouldn’t slip and fall. She really did want this baby to be okay, which only reminded Veronica of her own two pregnancies. Worry took on a new meaning when you suddenly found yourself pregnant, and that worry never left a mother’s heart.

She couldn’t hurt Bethany by spilling what she’d learned. Troy and Cullen would have to be the ones to explain that. Troy had better show up, or she would tell Bethany the truth.

Then she thought about Elle and Chase. She wanted to text them a photo she’d taken earlier of the sparsely decorated great room mantel.

Stepping into the dining room alcove, she found a good signal and sent the picture with the caption “Christmas.”

Elle texted back: I remember that place. It’s lovely, Mom.

Then: How’s Cullen?

Veronica replied: He’s cooking.

Elle sent a grinning emoji.

Then: With gas.

That made Veronica smile.

“You look happy.” She whirled to find Cullen standing there watching her.

“I am happy. My daughter is here with her fiancé, and he’s a nice person. I get to participate in planning the wedding and actually being at the wedding—this spring.”

She left that hanging. Would he be here in the spring?

“Spring,” he said, stepping close. “Seems a long way off, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, but a new year brings new possibilities. My only problem—I’m selling the house and I haven’t told her. She wants a wedding in the backyard.”

He studied her, his gaze moving over her face, a dark surprise shining in his glance. “What will you do if someone makes an offer?”

She shrugged. “I have to tell Elle before I accept any offers.” She didn’t mention they’d had one already since it wasn’t a definite until she agreed.

“That’s a predicament,” he replied, his gaze on her. “Do you really want to sell?”

“I thought I did, but now I don’t know. It all depends on how Elle feels about it. I didn’t mention it before when she and I weren’t talking much, and I didn’t mention it now because I didn’t want to break the truce. You know, the peace of having her back with me for a while.”

“But—you’re having doubts because you don’t want to upset her or let her down.”

“Exactly.”

Cullen studied her with all the intensity of someone trying to read a difficult book. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your problem.” Then she leaned close. “Remember I told you I needed to talk to you? Now would be good.”

He took her hand in his. “Veronica, no matter what you decide, no matter what happens, I want you to know I’ve enjoyed this time with you.”

“Wow, you keep telling me things like that. But this sounds final. Is this our break-up talk?”

“Always with the snark,” he said, smiling. “I plan to stay around.” He glanced up at the beamed ceiling. “I do own this place now and I have to decide what to do about that.”

“And what are you going to do about Troy and Bethany? I mean, you’re his real boss, right?”

He looked shocked, then his expression twisted into resolve. “How do you know about that?”

“You,” she said, careful with her answer. “I put what you do for a living together with you having an in with Troy’s boss. And you just confirmed it.” Grabbing his arm, she whispered, “How can you do this? You saw her that first night—”

“And I started fixing things that first night,” he replied.

That surprised her. “So what? She still needs the truth.”

“She’ll get it, Veronica. He’s on his way here now. I’m his boss, yes, but I’m the one that told him to stop working so hard and get home to his wife, the wife he was so concerned about. I had no idea he was burning the midnight oil so much.”

Veronica didn’t know what to say. “You’re telling me the truth?”

“Yes. And if you tell Bethany this, you’ll ruin Troy’s plans to tell her himself, which is how she should hear it.”

She moved to the bay window and watched the glistening of the frigid rain showing in the dull lights leading down to the lake. “You are just full of surprises, aren’t you? I don’t think I can deal with you any longer, Cullen.”

“Now who’s doing the breaking up?” he asked. Then he whispered in her ear, “I want to stay, Veronica. Remember that, okay? I have so much to tell all of you, if only you’ll trust me.”

“That request is getting a bit old.”

He tugged her close, his lips inches from hers. “Then do it for this reason.” He kissed her, slow and sweet and easy, but nothing about this man was easy.

Pulling away, she said, “I’m not sure this is the best reason to let you get away with your tricks, Cullen.”

“This is no trick,” he growled. “This is me, showing you I’m not out to hurt you. We all deserve a good Christmas. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Veronica couldn’t bring herself to finish this conversation. The man had been alone most of his life, it seemed. That in itself was enough to keep her from messing with his Christmas plans.

“If Troy doesn’t show up, you have to let her know.”

Then she went back into the other room.

“I brought gifts,” she said, to ease the dread in her heart. “Not much, but I wanted each of you to have something to remember how we came together.”

Cullen rounded the corner and glanced at Bethany, then back to Veronica.

“I have gifts too,” Trudy announced. “I hope everyone likes pie.”

“Sweet potato?” Veronica asked, hopeful.

“Of course, darling.” Then Trudy did the judge stare. “To take home, not eat here.”

Cheers and moans of delight followed that.

Bethany grinned and ran to her tote bag. “I brought something for each of you.” She handed them each a pen box. “I had the name of our club put on these.”

Everyone admired the bright-red pens with a holly branch stenciled near the words—The X-Mas Club.

“So did I,” Hillman said. “Hope you like a free oil change. I still have some clout with the people who bought me out.”

A round of applause.

“Oh, and I brought Lulu a present.” He lifted a giant chew bone out of the pocket of his coat and threw it toward Lulu. The big dog leapt into the air and caught it.

They all laughed at Lulu’s excitement.

“Well, I brought warm scarves and wraps,” Veronica said, hanging each of them a small bag. “Staying warm counts, right?”

“Always,” Trudy said. She wrapped her blue fringed wrap around her neck with a flourish. It settled nicely against her cream sweater. “I love the color.”

Cullen stood there, staring at all of them. “I have gifts too,” he finally said. He went to a bag behind a chair and handed the women small red boxes with pretty white bows and then gave a black box to Hillman. Then he shrugged. “This is the first time in a long time where I actually got excited about shopping. And about Christmas, too, for that matter.”

Hillman huffed a little breath. “I feel the same. I enjoyed shopping for all of you, but I settled on something everyone can use.”

“Me too, on being excited,” Trudy said. “Before, I celebrated every Christmas with an elaborate party that really brought a lot of stress—a big façade that I’m free of now.”

Bethany wiped at her eyes. “I’ve never had anyone like all of you. You’re so different from me, but . . . I feel like myself with all of you. You accepted me when my own family seems to have left me drifting in the wind.”

They all glanced at Veronica. She held her hands together in front of her, her head down. “I . . . it’s hard to say how much you all mean to me. I was so alone, so angry at the world. But . . . I’ve found Christmas again. My daughter is home for at least a day and . . . I know I can come to this group if I start backsliding after the holidays. I don’t even stare out the window anymore, wondering what happened with my old friends. I know what happened. I pulled away first. I don’t want that to happen with this group. Thank you. All of you.”

She glimpsed at Cullen and found him watching her with those wild eyes. Watching in that way he had of looking lost and lonely at the same time, he looked dangerous and confident. Even now, she wanted to hold him for a long time, and never let him be alone again. She wanted all of him. But she also wanted the truth from him. All the truth.

“Well, now that we’ve shared our gifts, we can share this meal,” Hillman said, smiling at Trudy. “This might be the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

He escorted Trudy back to the kitchen. Bethany followed, with a wink to Veronica. Lulu trotted along with her.

That left Cullen and Veronica alone by the fire.