Chapter 67

Another week passes. Carter made the trip home via helicopter a few nights ago but I've been too busy to see him. It's Sunday so I plan on going while Mallory and Kai have Ang.

Elana kept me updated up until last night. I know she's busy too though.

I pull on jeans and a hoodie before putting my hair up in a ponytail and sliding my shoes on. I grab my keys and load Ang into the car.

"Are you excited to spend the night with daddy?" I ask glancing at her in the mirror. She nods and beams.

I smile back. When we pull into Kai's it's just after 4.

"Hey pumpkin." He says picking Angie up and kissing her cheek.

"Dada dada!" She chants. I laugh and tell him for the tenth time to call if he needs anything. I know he thinks I'm overbearing but after the meningitis I worry more.

I drive to the hospital and grab some magazines on my way into his room. I sit in the chair, folding my legs under me.

I watch the sky darken outside before sighing. I stand up and head to the bathroom. When I come out, I sit in the chair and take Carter's hand.

I put something on tv and drift off to sleep.

I wake up startled. It's just after 9. I sit up and stretch. I glance around wondering what woke me. Nobody's here and it feels eerie.

I get a glass of water and gather up the magazines I borrowed when something brushes my leg lightly. I yelp and turn around looking wildly.

"Cassandra." A voice rasps. My spine stiffens. "You're here." I turn my head slowly and blow out a breath.

"Holy shit. You scared the crap out of me!" I say loudly. Then I gasp. "Ohmygod. You're awake!" I shriek reaching for the nurse's button. I press it repeatedly until the door opens.

"Hello, Carter. Welcome back. How are you feeling?" She asks turning the lights on.

"Confused. I think." He says slowly.

"I'll get your mother." I say walking to the waiting area.

"What is it?" She asks standing.

"He's awake. You should go." I say nodding to the room.

"Aren't you coming?" She asks.

"Erm, maybe I shouldn't." I smile. I take a seat and she purses her lips before going towards her son.

I sit there for a long time before she comes back out.

"He's asking for you." She says gently. I sigh and nod. "Don't be so worried." She tuts.

When I step into the room he's sitting up against three pillows.

"I'm sorry I scared you earlier." He says.

"It's okay. I'm a little jumpy lately." I say standing at the foot of the bed.

"Mom said you're having problems." He says eyeing me carefully.

"You could say that."

"I was surprised to see you here. We don't exactly have the best track record at hospitals. This one in particular."

"I guess I didn't really think about it until you woke up." I shrug.

"You look like shit."

"Wait until you see yourself." I quip.

"I guess my move is postponed then." My stomach drops.

"Guess so. Perhaps try driving?"

He nods curtly. I reach into my pocket and toss the box at him. He stares at it then at me.

"Where did you get this?" He asks. I arch a brow and he sighs. "Reid."

"Yeah."

"I can explain." He says raising his hands. Sensing impending doom, I imagine.

"Please do, because for weeks I've been confused. You broke up with me. You pushed me away. You said horrible things. You never even told me if you loved me. I don't understand you. And I think maybe I don't really know you." I say taking a breath.

"Ouch." He chuckles softly. "It was stupid. I was passing by, and I saw this ring and I thought of you. It surprised the hell out of me. Really, I was as confused as you, right now. When Reid introduced us, I never thought this was where we would be. I imagined a thousand ends but never this one. At the airport, I wanted you to say something and when you didn't, it was really over. You know?"

"I needed you to see that you need help. Carter, you are so messed up and then what you went through. There was no happy ending, we were drowning each other. I have been down that road and it was utter hell. I can't do that again, and I have Evangeline to think about. I know you love her. I can see it. I want you to be in her life. No matter where you live." I say flicking a tear.

"You amaze me. You can see the love that I have for everyone, except for you." He says. "If you have to ask me, I think you already know the answer. And if it's really done, I don't think I want to know your answer."

"So, what now?"

"I'm going to get better, and I am going to go to that job, and I will call and write and send post cards. I'll keep in touch, for Ang."

"Okay." I say meeting his gaze again.

"Thank you for being there for my mother, I'm glad she has you."

"It's mutual." I shrug.

"Goodbye, Cassandra." He swallows thickly. I close my eyes and turn around so he doesn't see the tears on my face.

I get to the door and sigh.

"Carter." I say.

"Just go." He pleads. But damn it I can't. I won't. Not this time.

"I love you. I think maybe I always have. I should have told you that before. And I'm not sure why I am now. But it felt like something you should know. I love you and I need you to hear me because, I don't think you will ever be happy until you let go of Amanda." I force back a sob as I leave the room.