Chapter 43 The First Night
POV: Mina (Age 18 - First Night on the Moonpath)
We make camp as the sun sets, six hours of travel putting enough distance between us and the Academy that I can breathe slightly easier.
Slightly.
Through the bond I feel Council forces still hunting. Not close enough to be immediate threat but close enough that we'll need to keep moving fast tomorrow. Close enough that stopping for the night is calculated risk rather than safety.
The clearing we find is small, protected on three sides by dense forest, with a stream nearby for water. Jax chose it with his usual tactical precision, positioning us where we can see approaches and have escape routes if we need them.
The tension is thick enough to cut.
Not danger tension. Something else. Something that comes from four people who are bound together permanently but haven't figured out how to exist in the same space yet.
Through the bond I feel everything they're feeling. Can't turn it off, can't block it out, can't get any privacy from the constant stream of their emotions flooding through the connection.
Logan's restless energy, his wolf pacing under his skin, needing to do something physical to burn off the violence and confusion.
Asher's calculating mind working through logistics and emotional frameworks simultaneously, trying to find structure that makes this situation manageable.
Jax's controlled surface with chaos underneath, his analytical approach fracturing against feelings he doesn't have categories for.
And they feel me too. Feel my exhaustion. Feel my grief sitting permanent in my chest. Feel my determination driving me forward despite everything.
The bond makes privacy impossible. Makes proximity necessary. Makes us feel each other's every emotion whether we want to or not.
I hate it.
The Trio starts setting up camp without discussion, falling into coordination that their different skills and the mate bond makes natural.
Except nothing about what happens next is natural.
Logan disappears into the forest without a word. I feel through the bond his wolf taking over, his human consciousness receding, pure hunting instinct driving him forward.
He's gone maybe twenty minutes.
When he returns, he's carrying a deer. Freshly killed, throat torn out cleanly, the most efficient kill possible. He drops it near the fire pit that Asher is building and shifts back to human.
Then he starts processing the meat. Taking the best cuts. The tenderest portions. Setting them aside on a flat stone.
Through the bond I feel his wolf driving him. Provide for mate. Bring her the best. Make sure she's fed.
And underneath that instinct, his human mind screaming. Furious at being forced. Desperate to stop. Unable to override what the mate bond demands.
He brings me the stone with the best cuts of meat on it. Sets it down near where I'm sitting. His jaw is tight, his eyes avoiding mine, everything about his body language saying he hates doing this.
But he does it anyway. Because his wolf won't let him not do it.
I take the meat without thanking him.
Asher's fire is perfect. Not too large to draw attention. Not too small to be useless. Positioned exactly where it will warm me without smoke blowing in my face. The wood arranged for optimal heat with minimal sparks.
Through the bond I feel his frustration. Feel him calculating the perfect fire placement, the ideal temperature, the exact distance that keeps me warm without being uncomfortable. Feel him hating that he's doing it. Feel his wolf demanding perfection in providing for mate.
He doesn't look at me when the fire is done. Just moves away to work on his own sleeping area, his shoulders tight with tension.
Jax is setting up sleeping spaces. Three for the Trio, positioned in a protective triangle around the clearing. And one for me, carefully placed to give me privacy, distance from them, space that the bond will barely tolerate but just allows.
Through the bond I feel his wolf fighting the distance. Feel it demanding he put mate's sleeping area closer, where they can guard better, where the proximity would satisfy the bond's pull.
Feel his human mind overriding that instinct with sheer will, giving me the space I haven't asked for but that he recognizes I need.
His ice-blue eyes meet mine for just a moment when he finishes. Something complicated moves through his expression. Then he looks away.
They hate this. All three of them. Hate that their wolves are compelling them to provide for me. Hate that the mate bond won't let them stop. Hate that they're being forced to care for someone they spent four months trying to destroy.
Through the bond I feel every moment of it. Their fury. Their frustration. Their wolves' satisfaction warring with their human minds' resistance.
I accept all of it coldly. The meat. The fire. The sleeping space. All provided by three wolves who are bound to provide whether they want to or not.
I don't thank them. Don't acknowledge their efforts. Don't show any appreciation for service that's being compelled rather than chosen.
Let them feel what being forced feels like. Let them understand what four months of having no choice actually means.
The meat is good. Perfectly cooked over Asher's perfect fire. Logan's hunting and preparation skills are undeniable. But I eat it with the same cold efficiency I apply to everything else, giving no reaction that might satisfy their wolves' need for approval.
Through the bond I feel their complicated responses. Their wolves confused by the lack of acknowledgment. Their human minds almost grateful that I'm not making this easier.
We eat in silence. The tension doesn't ease.
After the meal, I move to the sleeping area Jax prepared. It's well-made. Bedroll positioned for minimal dampness. Small stones cleared away. Positioned where morning sun will wake me naturally.
All the care that a mate-bonded wolf would provide for someone they actually cared about.
Provided by wolves who are bound to care whether they feel it or not.
I settle into the bedroll without comment and close my eyes.
Through the bond I feel the Trio settling into their own sleeping areas. Feel them taking watch rotations without needing to discuss it, their coordination through the bond making verbal planning unnecessary.
Feel their wolves calmer now that mate is fed, warm, safe. Feel their human minds still churning through everything that's happened in the last twenty-four hours.
I force myself toward sleep despite the bond's constant stream of their emotions. Despite knowing I can't actually get privacy even in my own mind anymore.
Despite everything, exhaustion wins.
I dream of Rafe.
Not memory this time. Not the clearing or the poison or his death. Something else. Something that feels more like visitation than recollection.
We're in our temple. The hidden place in the forest where we spent nine years meeting in secret. Everything is exactly as I remember it. The Oracle symbols carved into walls. The texts we studied together. The altar where we practiced forbidden magic.
Rafe is sitting on the altar, seventeen and alive and whole, looking at me with those silver-grey eyes that match mine.
"Sister," he says, and his voice is exactly as I remember it. "You're going to break them."
"Good," I tell him. "They deserve it."
"Maybe." Rafe tilts his head in that way he always did when he was thinking through something complicated. "But the bond is a double-edged sword. It will break them, but it will break you too if you're not careful."
Through the dream, I feel the truth of his words. Feel the bond connecting me to three wolves I hate. Feel how using it as a weapon against them also cuts me. Feel how their forced service and my cold acceptance is creating a cycle that damages all of us.
"I'm finishing what we started," I tell him. "I'm keeping my promise."
"I know." Rafe's expression softens. "I know you are. But I didn't ask you to destroy yourself in the process. I asked you to complete the mission. Those aren't the same thing."
"They hurt me," I say, and even in the dream my voice cracks slightly. "For months. They made everything worse when I was already drowning."
"I know," Rafe says again. His voice is gentle in ways mine hasn't been since he died. "I felt some of it through our bond before I died. I know what they did. But sister, don't lose yourself to revenge. Don't let what they did change who you are."
"Who I am?" I look at him, at my twin, at the person who knew me better than anyone. "Who I am died when you did. Everything since then is just keeping promises."
"That's not true." Rafe slides off the altar and moves closer. "You're still in there. Still the girl who spent nine years building a shared language with her brother. Still the Oracle who chose mercy when she could have killed. Still my sister."
He reaches out like he's going to touch my hand.
"Don't lose her to this," he says quietly. "The bond will break them. The mission will be completed. The prophecy will be fulfilled. But none of that requires you to break yourself in the process."
I want to argue. Want to tell him that I'm fine, that I'm just doing what needs to be done, that revenge is justice when the people deserve it.
But this is Rafe. This is the person I could never lie to even when I tried.
"I don't know how to not be angry," I admit quietly.
"You don't have to not be angry," Rafe tells me. "Anger is fine. Anger is appropriate. Just don't let it be the only thing. Don't let it consume everything else you are."
His image starts to fade, the dream dissolving around us.
"I miss you," I say, and the words hurt coming out.
"I know," Rafe says. His voice is distant now, coming from somewhere beyond the dream. "But I'm still here, sister. In the bond we shared. In the mission you're completing. In every choice you make. Don't lose yourself. That's all I'm asking. Don't lose yourself to revenge."
The dream dissolves completely.
I wake to find all three Alphas staring at me.
Not threatening. Not approaching. Just watching from their sleeping areas, their eyes reflecting firelight, their expressions complicated and raw.
Through the bond I feel their emotions flooding in. They felt the dream. All of it. The temple, Rafe's voice, his warning, my admission that I don't know how to not be angry.
They saw my brother. Felt my grief. Experienced the conversation about revenge and breaking and losing myself.
The bond showed them everything.
"We didn't know," Asher says quietly. His voice is soft in ways I've never heard from him before. "About your brother. We didn't know what we were doing to you."
Through the bond I feel the truth of that. Feel that they genuinely didn't understand the magnitude of what they were doing. Didn't know I was grieving. Didn't know every blow and every humiliation was landing on someone who was already drowning.
Not knowing doesn't excuse it. Doesn't make it okay. Doesn't undo four months of damage.
But through the bond I also feel something else. Feel their horror at what the dream showed them. Feel them processing Rafe's words about the bond being double-edged. Feel them recognizing that using the mate bond as a weapon cuts all of us.
Feel them understanding, maybe for the first time, that we're actually stuck in this together.
"I know you didn't know," I tell them quietly. "The bond made sure you know now. Made sure you felt everything. That's what the mate bond does. Makes privacy impossible. Makes us feel each other whether we want to or not."
Through the connection I feel them processing that. Feel them recognizing that the bond doesn't just force them to protect me. It forces all of us to carry each other's pain.
"Your brother," Logan says, his voice rough. "In the dream. He was—"
"Everything," I finish. "He was everything. And now he's gone. And I'm keeping my promise to him. That's all this is. That's all I am."
Silence stretches between us. The fire crackles. The forest makes night sounds around our camp.
Through the bond I feel their complicated responses. Their guilt deeper than before. Their understanding more complete. Their wolves calming slightly now that they've seen mate's grief in its full context.
And underneath everything else: recognition that Rafe was right. The bond is double-edged. Using it as a weapon cuts all of us. And we have weeks of travel ahead with nowhere to escape each other.
"We're stuck with each other," Jax says finally, voicing what we're all feeling through the bond. "Completely and permanently. The question is whether we destroy each other in the process or figure out how to survive this together."
I don't have an answer to that.
Don't know if survival together is even possible after everything that's happened.
But Rafe's voice echoes in my mind. Don't lose yourself to revenge, sister.
I close my eyes and try to find sleep again despite three sets of eyes watching me and the bond connecting us all.
Tomorrow we keep moving. Keep hunting the Keystone. Keep running from Council forces.
Whether we destroy each other or figure out how to survive together will have to wait until we're not actively being hunted.