72- Between Duty and Desire
POV Lunara Grimwald:
“Why are you sad?” he asked, drinking in the melancholy that seeped from me.
I hated this bond. Most of the time, it was only useful when I was in danger.
“I’m just… remembering my old life,” I lied.
“And do you miss it?” He drew his forehead away from mine, narrowing his eyes into thin slits. “Do you miss Alessio?”
I couldn’t hold back the mocking laugh that slipped out.
“I hate Alessio,” I stated firmly. “And no, I haven’t missed him once—not a single time—since the day he rejected me at our wedding.”
He said nothing, studying me for a moment, trying to read between the lines.
“I could taste the citrus tang of your nostalgia.”
I shrugged and pushed him lightly in the chest, stepping away from the tree.
“I was just thinking about… love, you know? Fated mates, pups, that kind of thing.”
He looked down at the ground; the muscle in his jaw twitched.
“I’m sorry, but that’s something I can never promise you.”
I bit my swollen lips.
“I know. Don’t worry about it—it’s not something I’m counting on.”
“But it’s something you want,” he countered in a hiss, meeting my gaze.
“Wanting and being able to are two very different things.” I laced my fingers in front of me. “I’ve accepted it, Edric. I can’t stop feeling what I feel. I know I won’t have it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it.”
After all the misery my life had been in recent months, just having a warm, calm, safe home—with Elowen by my side—was enough for me. My sister could have her own pups, and I would love and spoil my nephews as if they were mine.
He touched me, making me flinch, startled because I hadn’t seen him move closer. I lifted my gaze to his.
“I’ll keep my word about your life in Eldoria. I can’t give you everything you want, but I’ll make sure it’s at least pleasant and safe for you,” he said curtly.
My expression mirrored his.
“That’s enough. Thank you.”
He nodded.
“Shall we go home?” he asked, offering his hand.
It was a fair deal. He offered me safety and a decent life. In return, I would have none of what I had dreamed of, but I also wouldn’t be a prisoner.
It wouldn’t be like when my father was alive and Alpha. Nor would it be like being in Alessio’s grasp. It was a limited freedom—but still, a freedom. And for someone who had nothing, that was more than enough.
Soon, I would have a home to bring my sister to, and give her the dignified life she deserved.
With that in mind, I placed my hand in his, ignoring the electricity that sparked at the touch.
“Let’s go,” I agreed.
I finished brushing my hair and let out an exasperated sigh, staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.
My eyes weren’t as dull as before, but there was still a deep sadness hidden behind the blue of my irises.
Nothing ever went as planned—at least, not in my life.
The previous night had been a turning point toward my future. The certainty that I would have a home, but never love. And I didn’t know to what extent that hurt me.
To give up everything I had ever dreamed of and planned required a part of me that, for a long time, I hadn’t been willing to surrender. But now, things were different. Edric had promised me respect, safety, and comfort. How much more could my trivial desires possibly be worth than that?
Pups, a husband, a family I could call my own. None of it mattered if I couldn’t keep them safe. And with Alessio hunting me on one side and Edric on the other, I never could.
I dropped the brush onto the marble sink and bit the inside of my cheeks, admitting defeat and trying to convince myself to feel satisfied. This was my reality, and I needed to learn how to live with it.
I turned on my heels and walked out of the bathroom, heading straight past the bedroom toward the door. I stopped the moment I turned the lock and pulled it open.
There was a small stack of three books right in front of it, tied together with a blue ribbon.
I frowned and crouched down, inhaling deeply. The scent of fresh pine and damp earth reached me. The books had been touched by him.
Hesitating, I grabbed them and stood up. I pulled the sides of the ribbon loose, undoing it. The satin ribbon fell to the floor. I sifted through the books, my eyes lighting up as I read the titles.
Edric had given me romance novels to read.
He knew the importance of the single tattered book I owned, just as he knew how I had memorized every line of its story.
I bit the inside of my lip, trying to suppress a smile.
His gesture hit my foolish, needy heart right where it hurt. It was the first time he had ever done something so kind for me.
Deep down, I knew he was only fulfilling the agreement, but I couldn’t help feeling... special. He could have just protected me, kept Thalira away, and made his pack respect me—he didn’t need to give me gifts, and yet, he did.
I hugged the books tightly against my chest, feeling my heart race.
I was so starved for affection that a small gesture like that had made me emotional.
Foolish girl.
Of all the gifts I had ever received, the books were at the very top of my list. Reading wasn’t just a distraction—I read because I loved stepping into the world an author created and living the romance on the pages. The kind of romance I would never have.
I glanced out the window, watching the sun reflect brightly in the clear blue sky. I would spend the whole day at the lake, reading and bathing.
Smiling like an idiot, I left the room and hurried down the stairs, almost skipping.
I stopped on the last step, narrowing my eyes.
“What are you two doing here?” I asked, spotting Anton and Andrei seated at the breakfast table.
Andrei placed a hand dramatically over his chest.
“Ouch, that hurt,” he sighed. “Not even a ‘Good morning, boys, how are you? What a blessing to have your company so early in the day.’”