233- A Heart That Refuses to Share
POV Elowen Grimwald:
My days had become a mixture of happiness and agony.
I felt happy and safe in Valmorin, valuing my pseudo-freedom more and more, but the thoughts of how I would search for Lunara with a guard on my heels—and knowing that Aldren was avoiding me—were driving me insane.
I swallowed a lot before admitting to myself that I was in love with that crazy dog, but something I would die without ever accepting was sharing his body with another bitch.
Not even dead.
My plan was to wear him down and prove to him that, with the connection we shared, the only female he needed in his life was me.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew that inhabiting Aldren’s heart bordered on the impossible, but every single time that alpha tried to hide his attraction to me, he failed.
To avoid provoking the beast’s fury, I changed my clothes and went downstairs in search of Nerin. I was surprised to find Larubia and Torya, the assistants, talking with their regent.
The few times they had crossed paths with me around the house, they barely greeted me.
The moment I arrived, they hurried to leave.
They whispered something inaudible and left, leaving us alone.
What was their problem?
“Why did you change clothes?” Nerin asked, beginning to put away some dishes. I moved closer to help her.
“I looked way too hot in that skirt—it’d be a sin to expose it.” I didn’t throw Aldren into the fire.
“Hm…” she murmured, as if she didn’t believe me. “Where were you?”
“In my room,” I lied, picking up a stack of plates and a dishcloth to dry them. “Why do your assistants hate me?”
Nerin laughed.
“They don’t hate you.”
“I can’t imagine if they loved me… they barely look at my face.”
“Orders from the alpha, dear. He doesn’t want you chatting with them, nor with the guards.”
“Why on earth?” I placed the plate I was drying on the table and crossed my arms, frowning.
“I imagine it’s so you don’t bend them to your will. Just what I needed…”
“As if I have all that persuasion, Nerin.” Something crossed my mind. “Wait a second…” I narrowed my eyes at her and cornered her, holding her by the shoulders. “Aldren thinks I’ve won you over, is that it?”
She rolled her eyes, forcing herself not to laugh.
“Maybe in a hundred years, dear.”
“Oh, I totally have—look at that little smile…” Nerin pushed me away, turning her face.
“Leave me alone, girl.”
I threw one arm over her shoulder and wrapped the other around her in a forced hug.
“If it comforts you, I reeeeally like you. Consider yourself honored—I hardly ever like people.”
“Tough luck for you, Elowen. Go find something to do.” She slipped out from under my grip, determined to cut the peeled onions arranged on a board on the counter.
“Nerin, can I cook today?” I stopped beside her, resting my hands on the wood.
“Do you even know how to fry an egg?” She gave me a slight look of disdain.
“No, but… you can look up a recipe for me—something they used to make at the bar where I worked. I bet Aldren will like it.”
She used the square knife to split the onion in half with a single strike before answering me.
“Why do you want to cook for Aldren, Elowen? What are you planning?”
The skill with which she sliced the onion made me wonder whether, at some point in her life, she had been a professional cook.
“Well, since we’re friends, you owe me loyalty, so I’ll tell you my plan—and you’ll keep your mouth shut.”
She turned her body toward me, her brow furrowed.
“Elowen, you know very well that my loyalty is to Aldren.”
“But do you really need to gossip to him?” I insisted.
“If it’s something I believe he needs to know, yes.”
I sighed, frustrated.
“I want to tame Aldren. I may sound crazy saying I like him after everything, but I do.” Nerin let out a nervous laugh and brought her hand to her mouth to hide it. “Nerin! I’m serious!”
“All right, I’m sorry.” She seemed tense. Her eyes watered after touching her face with onion-stained fingers. “Why do you want to do this?”
“I just… feel like I need to try.”
“Think carefully. Wouldn’t you be better off staying quiet until you’re accepted in Valmorin and assigned to some work?”
“My heart and my naughty she-wolf want something else.”
“Heavens, Elowen…”
“You have a phone, don’t you? I just want to write down the recipe from the internet. Please!”
She sighed in defeat.
“All right. I can do that.” She agreed, offering a sympathetic smile.
“Wonderful!” I leaned in to kiss her cheek, but this time she was quick to dodge.
“Stop that gooey nonsense.”
“You don’t like little kisses? Such a hard heart…” I teased her.
“What did I do to deserve this, gods?” she recited, returning to slicing her onion.
I leaned my hip against the counter, settling into a comfortable position so we could keep talking.
“I’ve run into that Nala twice in the village.”
“And?”
“And she hates me—you can see it in her eyes—but it’s mutual.” Nerin shook her head dismissively.
“You don’t even know each other, Elowen. How immature.”
“And I don’t need to know her. She was rude and she’s Aldren’s lover.” I threw the information out, hoping she’d confirm or deny it. I waited countless seconds—nothing, not a word or reaction. “Are you two friends…?”
“I don’t have friends, Elowen.”
You do, Nerin. Me.
“But never had any? Like, are you against having friends?” I asked while she set aside the diced onions in a small glass dish.
“I did have a friend.” Her expression grew cloudy.
My fear of asking wasn’t enough to keep my mouth shut.
“She died…?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, Nerin…”
“Don’t be. She deserved it.”
What?
My curiosity was instantly ignited.
“What do you mean?”
“You two were similar, you know,” she revealed, changing the subject.
“Huh?”
“I mean, in personality.”
“Now explain…”
Nerin let out a heavy sigh, as if remembering hurt her.
“She was brave and persistent, like you. That’s all.”
“Where did you meet?”
“Here, in this house.”
I raised my eyebrows, surprised.
“Aldren was her friend too?”
“Let’s say yes.”
“Why was she killed?”
“Treason.”
“By the gods… what did she do? What was her name?”
“Why don’t you go take a walk in the village, dear?” she cut the subject off again.
Insisting would be a waste of time. Nerin only said what she wanted to say.
“How can I help you before I go?”
My feelings for her were sincere. It was no longer a plan to win her over just to kill her alpha. The time we spent together made me wish to have someone with such loyalty by my side for the rest of my life.
“Nothing, but thank you. I’d like some time alone in the kitchen.”
I had no idea what her friend might have done to hurt her, but it didn’t smell like something small. If Nerin wanted space, the least I could do was give it to her.
The skirt was swapped for my warrior jeans, but the blouse I was wearing still exposed part of my mark on my shoulders. It wasn’t about shame, but my unfamiliar presence could already be stirring enough unrest.