Chapter Thirty-Six

They’d spent long days together. He held her on their bed as she wept and they’d spoken of the lost bairn and their recent quarrels. They’d eaten their meals together and she’d accompanied him to his workshop. He’d been pleased she’d remained in their bed two full nights. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him she hadn’t slept a wink, not when she’d seen how happy he was to awake to find her there.

“I might take Spirit and go see Grandmother today.”

“I’ll take you,” Darius replied.

“We’ve heard nothing of witch-hunters or restless natives. There’s been no sign of Alcott or his soldiers all winter.”

“Soldiers have begun to set up camp down the river,” he admitted.

“You do keep some things from me, too,” she said.

“I admit, I didn’t want to worry you. You’ll not be attending the ladies’ get-together at Bessie’s cabin today? It’s not at Charlotte’s home as last time when you didn’t go.”

She made a face but saw his concern.

“Will you feel better if I spend time with the women?”

“Aye. But not if you’re opposed.”

She lifted her chin for a kiss and his lips were comforting.

“I’ll go…because I like to see this dimple.”

Walking beside Wolf, she inhaled the fresh spring air. Arianna relished seeing green grass, wildflowers and buds on the trees. Songbirds merrily chirped and she attempted to dismiss her worries and woefulness. She nodded to Wolf at Bessie’s door.

Arianna was truly happy to see Sarah and Kathleen, yet she knew being at the ladies’ afternoon was a mistake from the first glare Charlotte cast her way. Even Bessie’s warm embrace was negated when she stared at Arianna’s belly, clearly to determine if she might be with child.

The conversation went from morbid stomachs and aching backs accompanied with carrying bairns to teething and sleep disrupted by new babes. Arianna realized most women of child-bearing age had a babe in their belly, at their breast, or both.

Sarah’s belly was growing and Kathleen, apparently always large when with child, was already showing. Bearing and rearing children was a cherished blessing, but now it was simply something more to set Arianna apart, especially when she still bled heavily with her miscarriage. She might have confided in Kathleen or Sarah, but they’d feel worse for her being pregnant themselves.

Even if Arianna believed it was probably best she didn’t bear a child, her heart ached with what might have been…a bairn created from her and Darius’s love.

“Your apple tarts are delicious, Arianna,” Bessie said, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Thank you. Cinnamon makes them tasty.”

“Are you well, Arianna?” Sarah asked.

Arianna nodded.

“You look weary and pale, and haven’t eaten a morsel,” Kathleen added.

Bessie stared at Arianna, her face hopeful. She’d seen others staring at her belly.

“I don’t have a child growin’ inside me and not because my husband and I don’t share a passionate marriage bed!” Arianna finally exclaimed.

Both Charlotte and Elizabeth glowered.

“The Lord knows some women aren’t deserving of being mothers,” Charlotte said.

Arianna fumed. “Clearly, he makes some tremendous errors in that regard!”

Several women gasped at that.

“Aye, occasionally someone undeservin’ is blessed!” Kathleen sneered at Charlotte.

“It took me years to conceive, years of heartbreak,” Anna Schmidt said, also staring at Charlotte. “Do you believe the Lord thinks I’m suddenly deserving?”

“I lost four babes before term and two newborns, besides the six sons I have. My husband barely had to look at me and I conceived,” Millicent said.

Sarah and Kathleen’s faces turned rosy. Arianna knew they were both thinking the same thing.

“Maybe we might speak of somethin’ else,” Kathleen said, compassionately touching Arianna’s hand and she fought tears.

Arianna stared out the window, watching a robin feed its babies. A doe and fawn meandered across the grass. Even nature rubbed motherhood in her face. Arianna sighed as someone nudged her.

“Arianna, what’s your opinion of the men’s gatherings?” Jane Harwood asked.

“I don’t know much about them,” Arianna admitted.

“The men all gather together and drink,” Missie Barker said.

“It’s an excuse to be drunk and rowdy,” Anna replied. “I suppose men need to let loose.”

Arianna thought she’d like to let loose, but wasn’t sure how she might do that.

“This one’s to celebrate Davey McKee’s lad’s upcoming wedding,” Bessie said.

“Sad his mother didn’t live to see him wed,” Jane said.

“Stag gatherings are extra rowdy,” Millicent offered.

“Darius hasn’t been to one all winter,” Bessie said looking at Arianna. “Men don’t like being governed by a woman.”

“That would be the pot calling the kettle black,” Arianna declared.

“Whatever do you mean?” Bessie said, but Arianna didn’t reply.

“Arianna’s surely thinkin’ Da can’t go to the privy without your approval,” Kathleen said.

Bessie cleared her throat, her face flushed.

“Samuel’s only been to one gatherin’ this winter,” Kathleen said.

“You’ve a house full of bairns,” Bessie said. “He doesn’t like to leave you.”

“More reason to want to get away,” Kathleen argued. “It’s a grand thing Arianna and Darius are happy with each other’s company.”

Arianna sighed. “I wouldn’t discourage Darius. He mentioned the gatherings once but said they often turn into drunken brawls.”

“The men do become uproarious sometimes,” Bessie agreed.

“At least they’re not like those held at larger towns. I’ve heard men sometimes have harlots service them and women dancing naked,” Anna said.

There were several mortified gasps at that.

“Perhaps Darius chooses not to attend,” Charlotte said. “He’s likely fretful he might find his wife there!” she nastily added.

Arianna threw her a look she hoped depicted pure loathing. Elizabeth smirked, obviously pleased, for she must have told the others where Arianna had once stayed.

“I didn’t see naked dancin’ done at the brothel, but I was usually otherwise occupied.” Arianna no longer cared what they thought.

There were whispers and awkward tittering.

“Arianna was a cook and healer there,” Sarah nervously offered, but Arianna shook her head.

“I’m not worried about what others believe, Sarah. Those who matter know the truth and the others…really don’t matter.”

“I think Charlotte and Elizabeth should just go diddle themselves!” Kathleen angrily said.

Bessie hurried to answer a knock at the door, apparently glad of the disruption. Arianna smiled at seeing Grandmother. It had been some time.

“I smell Tine’s apple tarts,” the old woman said taking Bessie’s chair and clasping Arianna’s hand. She spoke loudly. “Should we put a spell on them for their unkind comments?”

“Being thought of as a witch is no doubt the nicest thing they believe of me,” Arianna whispered.

“You’d be the first, Charlotte Wyndham, to receive a nasty spell to match your spitefulness,” Grandmother eerily said. “Perhaps festering sores on your tongue for every hateful word.”

Arianna tried not to grin as Charlotte squirmed. Grandmother fixed her gaze on Elizabeth. “You’d be next, lass, with your attempts to stir trouble.”

Elizabeth turned away.

“Some here are equally cruel with thoughtless comments,” Grandmother said looking at Bessie. “I know the secrets of this settlement. Everyone has something from their past they wouldn’t wish to discuss, no matter how bloody godly you pretend to be.

“Young Wyndham’s wife has a kind heart and tolerance for putting up with horse white above the saints. You should all be thankful of that.”

“Frightening everyone won’t earn me acceptance,” Arianna whispered.

“It’s making me feel better, Tine.”

“I’m accustomed to being shunned.”

“Well, I won’t stand for it.”

“I only came today to appease Darius.”

“Och, but it does ensure you practice control of your abilities,” Grandmother said softly.

“That’s true,” Arianna said.

The afternoon went smoother with Grandmother leading much of the conversation. When she left, Arianna saw her out the door. Kathleen and Sarah came out to say their farewells, too.

“I’m sorry Ma’s so bloody insistent on speakin’ of you carryin’ a child,” Kathleen said.

“Bessie wants that for Darius and me because her children and grandchildren are her most treasured blessings.”

“Aye, but she can’t keep quiet.”

“I’m sorry becoming with child came so easily for me,” Sarah said as tears slid down her cheeks.

“Don’t ever apologize for that.” Arianna brushed Sarah’s tears away, and took her hands. “I’m happy for you both. Now, I must get home.”

“Don’t be a stranger, Arianna. I miss you,” Kathleen said.

“As do I,” Sarah agreed.

“I’m glad you two have become such good friends,” Arianna said. “The daughters you carry will be best friends one day.” They smiled at that.

She whistled for Wolf and took the long way home. When Darius asked of the afternoon, Arianna simply said it was enjoyable. There was no reason to cause him concern.