I kissed a girl… and I liked it!

Seph was sitting in a well-hidden corner of the library. Her ribs had finally healed enough to get her out of her room and to the library. She had tried it before, but the pain had been too much, alerting Theo, who came and carried her back to bed. Seph was just sick of the sight of the same 4 walls and the same 5 people. She didn’t seem to get more than 15 minutes to herself. Theo, Archer, Kayla, J, Lorcan, or the doc were always with her, feeding her, giving her things to entertain her, and talking endlessly and aimlessly. Everyone was ever so gentle with her; the twins were walking on eggshells. It was Kayla mostly; Seph sent Theo away when he started to get annoying, which he seemed to be doing more and more. Seph spent much of her time disassociated or locked in daydreams, though nightmares would be a better description. Scenes from her past repeatedly replay in her mind, all the times Jaimie got rough, every humiliation and assault. All the names and comments. Every time people accused her of making it up or exaggerating things, attention-seeking or bringing it on herself. It was enough to drive her crazy.

Finally safe in the library, Seph relaxed back into the chair for a while, her eyes slowly fluttering closed as she curled up there.

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~~~~~~~ Persephone Aged 17/18 ~~~~~~~~

Her bedroom, back home in her parent’s house. Seph knew every inch of these walls, every crack and crevice. After two weeks in the hospital, she was back in that room following her nearly successful suicide attempt. Seph could hear her parents arguing about her downstairs. “The hospital said to wait until she had been fully assessed, not to try and force her to do things she doesn’t want to yet.” Her mother said

“No, she will come and explain everything to us. She can’t just go around doing things like this and waltz back into my house without an explanation.” Her father retorted.

“Mark, calm down. We can’t put too much on her; she is clearly struggling right now.” Jane countered.

“So that means we do not get any explanation from her, Jane? First, we have her accusing Jaimie of a horrific assault and refusing to comply with investigations, then all these distasteful rumours about her sexuality which she rejects. What is going on with this child? No, Jane, no, this cannot be left to slide, nor can we have the human services involved. We have to sort this ourselves now.” Mark argued, regardless of what anyone else had to say.

“Mark, I will not force her to come to see you,” Jane told him firmly.

“I will go up to her if I must, Jane. She will answer me one way or another,” he finished, the note of finality in his voice signalling the end of the conversation.

These discussions had been happening every few hours since Seph left the hospital and arrived home. She knew, at some point, that her father was just going to march upstairs and demand why she hasn’t got over this phase yet and why she insists on humiliating him like this. However, Seph had refused to leave her room while her father was in the house, and she had sneaked downstairs while he was outside or busy in his office to get drinks and food.

The inquisition came sooner than Seph had expected. She didn’t know why she had thought that her mother could actually protect her from much. Seph knew that Jane had tried for her, her mother had taken quite a few hits from her father to stand between them, but the woman was only so strong. Seph didn’t know if Jane genuinely didn’t think that it was a problem to live like this or if she was just brainwashed by the coven, unable to see that it wasn’t normal or healthy or if she just didn’t dare to leave. 2 days after she came home Mark finally marched into her room. His usually handsome-ish face contorted into an ugly, angry mask. He had raised himself to his full height and puffed out his chest like he was attempting to intimidate an animal. Seph was sitting in the window, watching the trees outside when she heard the door thud open. “Right, get yourself dressed and down the stairs right now, young lady. You will explain everything to me immediately!” Mark exploded.

Seph’s head slowly turned towards him. Her eyes were glassy and dazed; there were large black bags under her eyes. “What’s the point? You won’t listen or even believe me.” Seph whispered softly before turning her attention back out of the window.

“What is the meaning of this? I am your father, and you will listen to me! You will obey!” Mark retorted loudly.

“No,” Seph said simply.

“Persephone Adams, you are my daughter, and I only want what is best for you, but if you cannot learn to conform to our way of life, I cannot protect you. Now you need to tell me, what was all this about?” Mark demanded.

Seph gave a loud sigh, dragging herself with visible difficulty from the window over to her bed and curling up against her pillows. “I just couldn’t take it anymore. No one believes me about anything. No one actually talks to me unless it’s to shout at me or bully me some more. The world is a horribly dark and hurtful place; it hurts me just to be alive every day. I am living in constant pain. It feels like I’m dragging a pack of dementor’s around with me. Like happiness is a thing that exists, but I’m not allowed to partake for some reason… I mean, look at everything that has happened. First, the school started bullying me because someone said I was gay; they still are, in fact. Then my boyfriend brutally and horribly assaulted me for the same reason. I’ve been ostracised in the community for fear that I might contaminate someone with my forward-thinking ideas. Not even my own father will listen to me or believe me. In opposition to any recommendations from literally anyone, he allowed another group of old men to strip me naked mere days after being raped to examine my injuries and still find that I wasn’t assaulted in any way! So yeah, this is about me not fucking wanting to be me. I don’t want to be alive in a world like this.” Seph was sobbing by the end of this monologue. She knew that many of the statements she made were not in chronological order and that perhaps they might not make too much sense, but how much sense could she be expected to make at this precise moment in time, really?

Mark stood stunned in his daughter’s bedroom doorway, watching her meltdown like that, and finally, it clicked. Perhaps some of his daughter’s depression may be partly down to his actions. He hesitantly sat on the edge of the bed, unsure how to respond to a sobbing teenager. A crashing, cold weight settled in his stomach. What father wanted to be the cause of such pain for his daughter? “Oh, Persephone… you know how you have been over the years… most of the time, we didn’t know what was going on with you. And with these rumours? Where did they come from?”

“I kissed a girl, dad, and I think I liked it,” Seph told her father. She sighed deeply and wrapped herself in a fluffy blanket from her bed. “All the rest of it happened because I thought I could trust a friend, and she turned out to be a snake.”