Chapter 9 — You Can Never Go Back

The day turned out uneventful. I spent the majority of it in the living room, watching television just like I thought I would. Apparently, Nightmares had a completely different television schedule than humans did. They had their own sitcoms and dramas, and stuff. I watched a show called PA for most of the day. I thought PA stood for Post Apocalypse, because the entire thing was about Nightmares having to work with humans after they destroyed the planet. I found it both fascinating, offensive, and sadly accurate in some places.

Kier had told me specifically to not answer the door if someone knocked. For most of the day, that worked just fine. But around midnight, someone rang the bell, and I ended up hiding in the basement, convinced that someone would find me out, and try to rip me out of the house.

Then I scared the shit out of myself when the bug man walked around the house, spraying poison to keep creepy crawlies at bay. I never thought my heart would stop pounding after that.

The kids got home at about one in the morning, minus Kier.

“He’ll be home in another three hours, or so,” Ash said. “They never keep him so long that he could get stuck out in the daylight. Don’t worry.”

I shuffled my feet. “Okay.”

Ash offered me a smile and went into the kitchen to feed his horde. I settled back down on the couch while people screamed on the television. In the show, some humans had started to fire submachine guns at the Nightmares, and they had to get away without killing anyone in their group. I kept waiting for the Nightmares to do something… otherworldly in the show, but nothing happened. They seemed mostly human.

“Hey,” Ash called from the kitchen. I looked over to see him leaning out. “Did you eat anything today?”

My shoulders curled in. “Um, no,” I said.

Ash frowned. “Would you like something now?”

“You don’t have to do that,” I said, feeling guilty that he had to cook for me, just because I hadn’t wanted to eat their food. It felt wrong, somehow. They’d already done so much for me, and if I tried to eat their food, then it would’ve been ruder. Plus, I had my dad’s voice telling me that I hadn’t earned any of their kindness.

“But you didn’t eat,” Ash said.

“It’s all right. I’m not that hungry.” The lie slipped out easily, but I didn’t think Ash bought it. He raised an eyebrow and slid back into the kitchen. I turned the TV off, and wandered around the house for a few minutes, stretching my legs. I felt like even more of a waste of space, because I hadn’t even done anything that day. I could’ve cleaned something or… helped out in some way.

Kier told me not to worry about anything. To just wait for him to get back home. That didn’t mean I had to listen to him, though. Yet, there I sat… alone and guilty.

Amber came barreling out of the kitchen with a cookie in her hand. She offered it to me. “Would you like some?”

“That’s all right,” I said.

She frowned. “Ash said that you have to be hungry. Don’t you like cookies? I love them!” She slammed the entire thing into her mouth like it would try to get away if she didn’t move fast. While I waited for her to choke, she grinned at me. Cookie crumbs escaped from her mouth when she did so.

“I do like cookies,” I said.

“Then come get another!” Amber grabbed my hand and started to haul on it. She had a lot of strength for a little girl, but she couldn’t have moved me if I didn’t want to move. It seemed wrong to deny her that, so I pushed to my feet, and let the girl drag me into the kitchen.

Clementine dumped her bag on the table and threw her head back. “I don’t like math homework!” she called. “Can’t I just go and catch some frogs. I want another pet frog.”

“No,” Ash said. “The last time you wanted a pet frog, we ended up with a turned over tank in the living room.”

Aiden laughed. “That was fun!”

“Only for you,” Ash grumbled. “For the rest of us, it smelled bad for weeks.”

“And Jeremy died,” Clementine said. “He was such a good frog, too… He would’ve been the perfect thing to show off to my future girlfriends, if someone hadn’t decided to throw a soccer ball around.” She glared at Aiden, who looked unrepentant.

Amber shoved me into a seat, and I tried not to look as uncomfortable as I felt. I shifted around and tucked my feet in under my butt.

Ash brought over sandwiches and put them on the table. The kids went after them like they hadn’t eaten in a week, though I saw Kier give them each lunch money. He even gave some to Amber, despite the fact that she had a babysitter that fed her. I figured it had to be a fairness thing.

Ash also put a sandwich down in front of me. My stomach grumbled, but I still thought about refusing. It seemed ruder than just eating it would’ve been, so I took a bite of the sandwich. The world seemed better for those few minutes, eating with the kids. They talked about their days, mostly complaining about teachers. Apparently, Aiden got caught throwing spitballs, and the teacher sent him to the office. And Clementine didn’t like her teacher because he wouldn’t let her do her homework in class, because she finished it too early. I didn’t get the big deal on that one, but figured it caused a problem before. Maybe she showed all the other kids her answers, or something.

While they talked, I felt a little lost. They didn’t do anything wrong or say something that made me feel out of place. They just seemed so comfortable around each other, and like they really loved the others. I couldn’t imagine having a family like that, and I didn’t know how to react to seeing one.

It all felt so… nice.

And I’ll never get that. Instead of working anything out with Dad, I’m going to a shelter tonight, where they’ll eventually send me into foster care until I’m eighteen. At which point, I’ll go into a transition house, where I’ll be able to find a job, and move on from there. Everything will be hard, until the day that it isn’t.

I shook those thoughts from my head when Aiden slammed his hands on the table. “I’m not doing homework until after dinner. Who wants to play videogames with me?”

Amber and Clementine both cheered, and the three of them ran from the kitchen. I rose from the table and started to bring the dishes over to the sink.

“You don’t have to do that,” Ash said.

“I don’t mind,” I assured him, still gathering the plates. I needed to do something to show how grateful I felt to them. At any point, this family could’ve thrown me out on my ear. Instead, I had a little girl hauling me all over the house and force feeding me cookies. I couldn’t be thankful enough, actually.

“You have nothing to prove to us,” Ash said. “We aren’t like whoever you’re running from.”

My hands tightened on the plates, and I had to force myself to set them down. I shook while doing so. “I’m not trying to prove anything,” I said, my voice tight.

Ash sighed and rose to his feet. “If you say so.”

The kid walked into the living room and picked up his book. As he sat down, I stared at the pile of plates that I had next to the sink. I tried to convince myself that I really hadn’t been trying to prove anything, but I couldn’t. The sad part was… I didn’t just want to show my gratitude. Some part of me wanted to show that I could stay there, and it wouldn’t be a nuisance.

But of course, it would be. They’d have to protect me from the other Nightmares, and I’d have to hide until I turned eighteen. It would be months of stress, and I didn’t belong there. Not just because of my human blood, but because I didn’t know how to act in a family like this. One that actually cared. Just having Ash point out my desire to prove myself worthwhile made me want to hide. The basement called to me, with that crappy air mattress, and the spiders that lurked in all the corners.

Tears stung my eyes as I admitted to myself… You will do nothing but hurt them in the end.

I sucked in a breath that cleared my head and finished the dishes. Then I went downstairs to wait for Kier to come home.

***

The kids had to make dinner for themselves that night, which they didn’t seem bothered by. I stayed downstairs while they had frozen pizzas in the oven. Clementine brought one down for me, and I nearly cried into the pepperoni. When she asked if I wanted to join them upstairs, I declined, claiming to be too tired.

The pizza tasted like crap, but I ate the entire thing, too happy that someone thought of me to do anything else.

Then Kier got home and the sense of dread filled my stomach. I talked myself down, thinking about how the shelter wouldn’t be that bad. It could even be nice, because it had to uphold some kind of government standard. I could almost fool myself into thinking that everything would turn out all right.

I went upstairs to find Kier standing in the kitchen. He looked ragged and worn out. Some purple spots had started to blossom on his arms, and it looked like his knuckles had been bruised. When he looked at me, though, he seemed calm. Almost content. I wondered if that meant his training had gone well.

He took some milk out of the fridge and poured himself a bowl of cereal. “Just let me eat, and then we’ll head out.” I glanced at the clock and shuffled my feet. “Will you have time to get back before the sun comes up?”

Kier waved a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I have a place to hole up for the night. I just need to tell Ash that he has to get the kids ready in the morning.” Kier leaned against the counter and started shoving cereal into his mouth with the ferocity that I’d come to recognize in this family. I began thinking Nightmares needed more fuel than humans did. I’d seen Amber finish off two cookies, an entire sandwich, three juice boxes, and still be hungry enough for dinner when it came around. And, based on the number of boxes I saw in the trash, she had gotten her own pizza. That little girl could eat anything.

I sat down at the counter and ran my hands over the swirls in the marble. Fake marble, I thought, but I didn’t know those things very well. Either way, the counter looked pretty to me.

“Did training go well?” I asked.

Kier grunted, which I took to mean yes, it had.

I nodded. “That’s good. What about school?”

Another grunt, less enthusiastic than the first.

“I always liked school, personally. It got me out of the house for a few hours, and I knew that no one would pay attention to me unless I gave them a reason to,” I said.

Kier glared at the opposite wall and grumbled something that almost sounded like words. I liked to think that meant I made some progress with him. Or he just got closer to snapping at me… No way to be sure.

He finished eating, and I gathered what meager belongings I still owned. Kier ran upstairs to change and talk with Ash. I stood in the garage, waiting, and staring at the car that I had started to really dislike. Oh, the car hadn’t done anything wrong. It’d just been the mode of transportation that would get me away from this family.

There’s no reason for you to like them so much. They aren’t some replacement family for the one that you lost when Mom died. Get in the fucking car and stop complaining.

And that made so much sense that I did. Kier and I didn’t talk as he pulled out of the driveway, and I didn’t have anything to say as the world flew past the windows. The streets all looked familiar, but somehow different at the same time. The shops had different people in them, and the customers looked human, but weren’t.

The buildings started to get closer together, and we encountered more streetlights the further along we drove. The GPS lady told Kier to make turns and that acted as the only conversation in the car.

Eventually, he turned into an empty parking lot. The sky had started to lighten up as the sun began to rise. My hands tightened on the seatbelt. “Are you sure that you’ll be okay?” I asked. “I don’t want you to get into trouble for this.”

Kier glanced around. “I’ll be out in the daylight for an hour at most. I’ve got someplace that I can go. Don’t worry.”

I would, though. And the saddest part of worrying would be the fact that I would never know. If this worked out, and Kier certainly seemed to think that it would, then I’d never see him again. I’d certainly never talk to him again. We’d just never deal with each other, and I’d be free to come up with a thousand scenarios where he didn’t make it back home. Ash would have to take over the household, and he would do a good job with it. But he would also never forget that his brother died because some stupid girl couldn’t get herself to safety without his brother’s help.

I didn’t want that to happen and felt powerless to keep it from happening.

Taking in a breath, I said, “Thank you. For everything that you did for me. I’m sorry that I made things so difficult for you.”

“It’s fine,” Kier said.

Nothing more. I didn’t know why I expected something else, other than the fact that most people would’ve said something. Like a goodbye, or some kind of gentle prodding or encouragement. Kier wouldn’t ever be like that. Not with me anyway.

I offered him a smile and pushed open the car door. The building looked boring, if I wanted to be honest. It had been built for economy, not to be beautiful. Shutters had come down over the windows, the kind that looked strong and sturdy. They blocked out any sign of life inside. The roof was completely flat and the building square. It had a large metal door in front, making it look kind of like a fortress. Across the top, in swooping letters, a sign declared it the Maple Grove Women’s Shelter.

My hand tightened on the strap of my backpack, and I made my way over to the door just as the sirens filled the air, letting the Nightmares know that they had to get home. I looked over at Kier, expecting him to take off.

When he didn’t, that galvanized me into moving. I walked up to the door and knocked as a tight feeling filled my stomach. I gripped the bag on my shoulder all the harder, squeezing until my knuckles had turned white. I felt certain that I’d vomit right there, which would only make this day better.

I heard movement inside and braced myself.

One of the shutters moved aside, and I caught the barest glimpse of someone peeking out at me. The shutters hit the window again and someone started to mess with the door.

This is it, I thought.

The door opened about a foot, and a woman peeked around the corner. She had blond hair and blue eyes. Her skin looked so clear and clean, and her clothing matched. She even had manicured nails. I assumed that she had to be the person who ran the shelter. Or maybe a volunteer.

“Can I help you with something?” the woman asked me.

My mouth felt dry when I answered. “Hello. My name is Whilda Plier, and I’d like to come inside.”

The woman eyed me again and opened the door just wide enough that I could see her nose. It tilted up on the end, just enough to make her look snobbish and cute. I thought she would let me in, and my shoulders started to relax as some hope filled my chest. Stupid emotion, and I’d give anything to squash it.

“How long you been outside?” she asked.

I worried that I didn’t look dirty enough. Kier had washed my clothes, and I’d changed into them early that morning. Aside from the tear in my shirt, they looked presentable.

“Um… I’ve been hiding all night, waiting for the sun to come up. Can I… Can I come in?”

The woman looked over her shoulder, and I could hear other’s voices. Women talked quietly, and I wondered if they had started getting ready for the day. They all sounded… comfortable. I imagined what it would’ve been like for most of those women, coming from abusive relationships and finding a place where they felt comfortable. My head couldn’t wrap around such a concept, and it hurt to think about for too long.

“We can’t let you in quite yet,” she said, turning back to me with a smile. “It’s too early. We only take people in after the second siren sounds. Go around the corner and wait for it. I’ll let you in through the side door, okay?”

I glanced to the side, where she had indicated, and shuffled my feet. “All right. Is it safe there?”

“Nightmares rarely walk past us this early in the morning. Don’t worry. Go on.” She waved at me and closed the door. I felt Kier’s eyes burning a hole in my back when I turned around. His stare looked hostile when I met his eyes. I wondered if he wanted to break the door down and force them to take me just so that I wouldn’t be his responsibility anymore.

I waved to him and started to make my way around the corner. The alley looked well kept, surprisingly. Someone had emptied the dumpster out, and it didn’t smell too bad. Puddles of water filled the cracks from when it rained a few nights before. I spotted the side door immediately and went to stand by it. The shadows would’ve kept me concealed until the second siren sounded.

I wrapped my arms around myself, looking up at the sky. Striations of pink and purple started to fill the space above, letting me know that I wouldn’t be waiting for long.

Something hit the side of the dumpster, and I looked over to find a man coming out from behind it. He looked human, based on his tan skin and how small he looked. I hadn’t been around many Nightmares admittedly, but they all had size on their side. This man also had a bald head and wore jeans and a t-shirt. He didn’t look that threatening, but my heart shot into overdrive anyway.

My hands tightened on my bag, and I looked past him. The mouth of the alley seemed so far away, but if I started moving right then, I could reach it and freedom.

I got two steps when the door behind me opened, and that woman stepped out. She looked just as cute and perfect as she had before, but now she smiled with malice in her eyes. She shoved me by the shoulders, and I stumbled forward. “God, you are all such easy marks,” the woman said. “I miss the challenge.”

The man from behind the dumpster laughed, the sound grating along my nerves. “But it’s easy money. How much did you bring with you, sweetie? Most women bring a couple of hundred at least. They try to get as much as possible when they run away.”

“What?” I asked, my brain stuttering to a halt.

The woman grabbed my bag and hauled it toward her. “How much did you bring with you?” she asked.

I clutched my bag, but she yanked it right off my shoulder. Stumbling forward, my brain finally caught up with the surprise. They wanted to rob me. This woman looked nice, so I assumed that she ran the place. I guess that had been stupid of me, but I couldn’t change that now.

As she pawed through my things, I felt my stomach beginning to knot up and this burn started in my chest. A burn that seared up into my head, making it hard to think.

The woman found my small bundle of bills and threw my bag onto the ground. My books made it hit with a thud. She counted out the bills, and then stared at me with disbelief. “Are you kidding? You’ve got thirty bucks? What did you think that would do for you?”

That burning started to turn into flames as I walked toward my bag. “It was all I had. Why don’t you take it and get out of here?”

The woman snorted and tossed the money to the man. “Or not. You think I’m letting you into this building for that much? Fuck that.” She shoved me, and I nearly tripped trying to keep my balance. “I don’t walk away for less than a hundred dollars. You’ll have to leave now.”

“No,” I said. “I have more right to be here than you do.”

“Oh, I can see that. What with your nice clothing, your pretty blue hair, and your perfect skin. Probably ran away from home like a little bitch. They won’t believe you, and why should they? I can help with that, though.” She punched me in the shoulder, and I felt like screaming. Not because of the pain, but because of how unfair it all seemed. I’d gone through hell to get to this point, only to have some bitch and her boy-toy screw me over?

The rage that I had wished for the other day came back. It suffused my entire body, and my brain just stopped working. I dropped my bag and went at the woman like a freight train. she clearly hadn’t been expecting it, and neither had her boy-toy. They didn’t make a move to stop me. Before I knew what happened, I had the woman on the ground, and I just kept throwing punches and kicks. Blood flew and she coughed, but I refused to stop. My brain couldn’t work like that.

The boy-toy finally decided to help, and he came at me. His body slammed into mine, and he pinned me to the ground. “What the fuck is wrong with you, bitch?” he asked, holding me down while I flailed and fought against him. All my efforts did nothing, but I wouldn’t stop.

He reared back, probably to punch me, and I ended up kicking him in the face. The guy stumbled back, and I began to get up, fully prepared to finish what I started.

Instead, I saw Kier behind the man. He grabbed him and slammed his head against the edge of the dumpster with so much force that I could almost hear his skull cracking. The woman I attacked laid on the ground, bloodied and unconscious. I looked down at my own hands, catching sight of her blood on them, and my heart started to pound. “Oh god,” I said.

Kier grabbed my arm and hauled me up. “Come on,” he said. “We don’t have time for you to freak out now.”

“But…” I looked at the people on the ground. “I…”

“Get moving,” Kier barked, and thrust me ahead of him.

Interlude Kier I grabbed Whilda’s bag in my other hand and shoved the girl down the alley. She stumbled over her own feet but caught herself on the wall. Instead of listening to me, Whilda turned around. Her blue eyes had opened wide, and she couldn’t seem to look away from the woman on the ground.

“Is she all right?” Whilda asked.

“Who cares?” I countered. “Get in the car.”

The silly human stared at me like I had asked her to cut off her own foot. “We can’t go,” she said. “I hurt her, and that man… they could die. We have to call someone or do something.” Her hands started to shake when she raised them up to shove her hair out of her eyes.

“They deserve it, if they do die,” I said. “Now turn around and get in the car. Right this second.”

“We can’t leave them,” Whilda insisted.

I ground my teeth together and thought seriously about knocking her out again. It would get her in the car, certainly, but I didn’t want to deal with the consequences. She acted like a scared bunny, jumping at shadows, and curling her shoulders in defensively whenever something went wrong. I didn’t know what to do with her. It seemed like every time I tried to help, she only drew deeper into herself.

Which frustrated me, especially right then.

Using small words in the hopes that she would listen to that, I said, “They would have done a lot worse to you than what we did to them. Someone will come into this alley soon, probably to open this door, and they will see them. They will get the medical attention that they don’t deserve and be fine.”

“But what if that doesn’t happen?” Whilda asked.

“Then it’s not your problem. They would’ve hurt you just as badly as we hurt them. They’ve done this to other people as well. You think I didn’t hear what they said to you? This is nothing less than earned. Now, go. To. The. Car.”

Whilda’s eyes darted around, before landing on the people again. I braced myself for another argument, but instead, she turned and ran. I breathed out some of the frustrated tension in my chest and chased after her. Some part of me thought that she’d take off into the city, and that I’d have to chase her again. The girl could run from anything, including a helping hand.

But she climbed into the passenger’s seat and huddled into the warmth of the car. I walked around the nose and got behind the wheel.

I knew I should’ve driven off when Whilda got out of the car. It would’ve not only been the smarter way to get shelter from the daylight, but it would’ve also meant that I finally got rid of the human girl making my life difficult. Some part of me worried that she wouldn’t get into the building. That she’d get turned away for being too young, or not looking hurt enough. Some stupid human reason to turn away someone that needed help.

When she’d gone around back, all those worries seemed to have been justified. I couldn’t fathom why she had done that. Then I’d had a nice little debate with myself. On the one hand, if she wanted to do something reckless, such as go into an alley alone, then it didn’t concern me. On the other hand, if she died, then it would’ve been my fault. I’d pictured her eyes staring up at the ceiling, empty of every ounce of warmth that they normally had.

I couldn’t do it.

Somehow Whilda had wormed her way into my head, and the thought of her dying bothered me. I felt like an idiot for caring about the human at all. It would bring me nothing but pain.

I blamed the fact that I’d told her what happened with my parents. It seemed like a good idea at the time. She’d told me what happened with her father, so I owed her something, I thought. I owed her an explanation for the way I thought and acted. Instead, it turned into some strange purging of my soul. I’d foolishly left myself vulnerable to her, and it would only be a matter of time before she decided to use that against me.

The second siren sounded, and Whilda tensed. “Oh no.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said.

Her eyes darted over to me. “What if we get caught outside? If they see you with me, people are going to assume that you kidnapped me or something. They could hurt you.”

“I said don’t worry about it,” I growled, turning down an empty street.

“How can I not worry about it?” Whilda asked, her breathing getting tighter. She put her hand on her chest, and I listened to her lungs. They sounded too tight, and her heart thudded too hard.

Cursing myself and all the times that I’d ever shown mercy, I reached over and put my hand on her knee. Whilda looked over at me, and she reminded me of a scared animal. Too much white around her eyes, no thought in them. “It’s fine,” I said. “It’ll be all right, if you just calm down.” My voice sounded gentler than I meant it too. Whilda couldn’t handle anything else.

It seemed to work, though. She took in a deep breath and then another deep breath. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“Somewhere safe,” I grumbled, as I reached the end of the street. Cars had started to fill the roads, so I knew that we’d be safe. “I’m going to merge into traffic,” I said. “When I do that, you need to do your best to look calm. Even if that means closing your eyes and pretending to be asleep. All right?”

“You’re just going to… drive out into the sun?”

“I look just like a human,” I said. “They don’t have our sense of smell, to know the difference. If you don’t look freaked out, then no one will have a reason to pull us over. I’m going to drive the speed limit and follow all traffic laws. Okay?”

“Okay,” Whilda said.

“Good.”

She settled into her seat and brought that bag of hers close. Her eyes still looked worried, and I started to mentally prepare myself for getting pulled over. Then she opened her bag and started to examine those books that she brought with her. Her fingers passed over each cover and onto each corner lovingly.

It calmed her down. The air started to come into her lungs easier and her heart slowed down. Even her fingers stopped their incessant shaking.

I merged into traffic smoothly. The other people on the road would be heading to work, and they wouldn’t care about what my car did. As long as I didn’t drive into anyone, I’d be fine. As tempting as homicide sounded, I didn’t think getting hauled into jail would end well for my companion’s sanity.

The sun bothered my eyes, so I had to put on a pair of glasses. A few other people wore them as well, so I knew that I could get away with it. Being out during the day always turned into a game of blending in. If no one else wore their glasses, I’d have to suffer. The only sun I got came from the windows of my house, right before it started to set. Being out during the day made my skin crawl. I looked pale as hell, but few people would notice that if I didn’t draw attention to myself.

We turned down another street, and some more tension ran out of my body. I got off the road a second later, turning into the parking lot of an apartment complex.

Whilda tucked her books back into the bag and stared at the building with a frown on her face. “Do you have an apartment in there?”

“Something like that,” I said, choosing one of the guest spaces toward the back of the lot.

“How are we going to get in without being caught?” Whilda asked.

I glanced at her, and back to the building. “It’ll be easy. Just follow me, and please try not to look panicked.”

She blinked, frowning. I didn’t think she could pull off the latter, but we didn’t have a choice. I pushed open my car door and walked around the hood. Whilda climbed out before I reached her. She had her hand tightened around the strap of her backpack, turning her knuckles white.

I took her other hand.

She blinked at the contact until I pulled her along. The girl nearly stumbled over her own feet, and I wanted to curse at everything. Of course, she could barely move. Her clumsiness would be the death of us.

The front door of the building had a buzzer, but I could bypass it with the key. It took me a few seconds to find it on the ring, and I felt the sun beating down on me every one of those seconds. My skin didn’t know how to handle the sun, and I felt the burn coming already.

Stepping into the dark corridor relieved the pressure, and I dropped Whilda’s hand. “This building is just for Nightmares. The one next door is the human’s building. Any of the residents could be walking around inside here, though. I need you to stay close to me and listen when I tell you to do something. No more arguing.”

“Okay,” Whilda said, her voice soft.

I felt like I’d kicked a puppy. The girl had been through so much, and her gentleness didn’t make her weak. She’d done more to save herself than most humans would have.

I could hear other Nightmares behind closed doors, with their families, roommates, friends. It sounded like they had started to settle for bed, and I trusted that meant they wouldn’t come out into the hall. Still, I kept Whilda no more than a few feet away at any time. Especially since any of my kind would be able to smell her humanness in a second flat. They might not be as kind as me.

And if anyone went for her, I would rip their throat out with my teeth if necessary.

We entered the elevator without anyone noticing us. I pressed the button for the third floor and sighed in relief when the door closed. The chances of someone getting on after this seemed slim.

“Thank you,” Whilda said. “For helping me back there. You could have just left.”

I stared at the girl, and my eyes drifted down to the wounds on her knuckles. They looked so blatant. Like blood on a wedding dress. “It’s fine,” I said gruffly. “I don’t know what would’ve happened to you if I had left.”

“Someone would have called the cops, and I’d have been arrested,” Whilda said, looking away.

I snorted. “Humans.”

She curled into herself. “I could’ve claimed self-defense, but I don’t know if that would’ve worked. Not with my father trying to find me. I’m only a minor, though, so I probably wouldn’t have been punished too harshly.”

“I don’t understand your kind,” I said, as the door slid open. The hallway beyond looked so boring that I hated it. The carpet had a geometric pattern that always fucked with my eyes, and the walls had been painted off white. Because white would have been too boring, I guessed.

I grabbed Whilda’s hand again, to make sure that she didn’t wander too far away from me. She stared at everything with wide eyes, like she had never seen a hallway before. It slowed us down, and I would’ve yanked her along, but I could easily remember all the times she flinched. More often than not, she didn’t even know she had done it. If someone moved too fast, or got too close, her body just reacted.

If I yanked her, then this entire endeavor would probably come crashing down around us. She’d do something like scream, and everyone in the building would pour out of their homes.

The door I wanted waited at the end of the hallway. When I got there, I braced myself, and knocked.

After a brief pause, I heard footsteps on the other side. Another pause, probably where she looked through the peephole. Then the door opened, and my aunt started to speak. “Kier, what are you doing out this—” Her nostrils flared, taking in Whilda’s human scent.

I didn’t give her a chance to ask anything. It would only waste time that we didn’t have. I pushed Whilda into the apartment, ignoring her squeak of surprise when I did so. Then I shoved myself in as well and closed the door behind me. “Sorry, Brook,” I said.

My aunt stared at Whilda some more, clearly unsure of what to do with her. “Kier… what is this?” my aunt asked.

I took in a deep breath and turned around. “Whilda, this is my aunt, Brook. Brook, this is Whilda.”

Brook looked just like my mother, down to her height. They’d been twins, after all. While they looked exactly alike, their personalities had been completely different. Where my mother had been cold and uncaring, Brook like to give hugs and talk for hours. It drove me crazy as a kid, because I didn’t know how to respond. Then I started playing father to my siblings, and things like that became easier to understand, to handle. Amber needed a lot of affection, and I was essentially her father. I could be what she needed, because I figured it out from Brook. Even if I didn’t like the woman very much.

Now, my loving and caring aunt stared at my human. I began to worry that she would attempt attacking Whilda. The girl managed to get up enough courage to defend herself in that alley, but I didn’t trust that she would manage to do that again, if the time came.

Brook turned to stare at me. “What the hell is going on?”

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Huntress save me, but I felt tired. “It’s kind of a long story.”

“You better start telling it, because I don’t see why I’m not on the phone with the Authorities right this second, demanding that they come and take this thing away.” My aunt’s eyes drifted over Whilda with so much disgust that I wanted to snap at her.

“If you do that, then you will never see the kids again,” I growled.

Both Brook and Whilda blinked, staring at me like they never thought I’d say something like that.

“What?” Brook asked. “What the hell are you talking about? What’s going on here?”

I shoved my hands through my hair, and said, “Let’s head into the kitchen.” I took Whilda’s wrist this time and brought her into the room with me. She shuffled over to the table but didn’t sit down until I had done so. Like she worried about overstepping her boundaries.

Brook took her seat as well, leaning back with her arms crossed. She had flipped her black hair over her shoulder, and had her dark brown eyes narrowed at me. I could almost sense her foot tapping in impatience. “Start talking, Kier, because I don’t like the way this looks.”

I explained everything, glancing at Whilda when it came time to talk about her father. She gave me permission with the smallest nod of her head, and I couldn’t help but be relieved. She understood how important this was, and how easily my aunt could make our lives hell.

When I finished talking, Brook rubbed her temples. She didn’t immediately say anything, and that gave me a chance to relax in the dark apartment. It had been built for Nightmares, so we didn’t have too many windows. It would only make it harder for us to sleep when the sun came up. My aunt combated the darkness by having lights and candles everywhere. At the moment, her apartment smelled like pumpkin spice and rain. I didn’t really care for either of those things but wouldn’t say that to her.

She decorated everything with fall colors. Brown, oranges, yellows. They filled the space, making it look even brighter. I hated that, too. It looked too earthy for me. I’d rather have my mostly blue and white house any day.

“Okay,” Brook said. “So, she ended up in your backyard. Why didn’t you call the Authorities?”

I glanced at Whilda. I didn’t want her sitting there while my aunt asked me these questions. “Hey, there’s a bathroom around the corner. It’s got a first-aid kit in the medicine cabinet. Why don’t you go take care of your hands?”

Whilda looked down at the scraped knuckles, and the color drained from her tan skin. She rose to her feet and stumbled away from the table. As she disappeared around the corner, I turned back to my aunt. “She seemed harmless. I thought she was just some stupid girl who ran away from home and needed to be scared straight.”

“You don’t know that that’s not the case,” Brook said, leaning forward. “She could be lying about anything.”

“You didn’t see her reaction when I tried bringing her home,” I said. “You haven’t seen her reaction to anything. She’s so sure that we’re going to hurt her, that she doesn’t even try to defend herself.”

“Or she’s a weak little human,” Brook said.

“She’s not,” I said. “You don’t know what it’s like living with abusive parents. You don’t know the way it can fuck you up. Whilda acts like someone who has spent her entire life getting beaten down.”

Brook flinched and turned away from me. “You shouldn’t use that against me. I would’ve saved you, if I had known.”

“You would’ve known if you paid attention,” I shot back, and then took in a deep breath. I held my hands up. “No. No, we’re not doing that. Not right now. That’s an old argument, and we’re done with it.”

“We’ll never be done with it,” Brook said. “We can each live a thousand years, but we’ll never be done with that argument. I failed you and the kids. My sister… I understand that, Kier.”

“I’m happy for you. That doesn’t change our current situation.”

Brook looked down the hall, where I could hear the water running. I pictured Whilda in the orange bathroom, scrubbing her hands, trying to get the blood off. She looked so surprised at what she was capable of. Humans always liked to think they had more civility than us. In reality, Nightmares let our true nature out, while humans always tried to hide who they were.

“I don’t know what to do,” Brook said, shrugging. “You can’t keep her.”

“You make Whilda sound like a dog that I found on the side of the road,” I said, rubbing the back of my head.

Brook leaned forward. “Kier, this isn’t a joke. You need to listen to me. You’ve got four kids back at home, and they need you. They need you more than that girl does. She’s dangerous.”

“Whilda would never hurt us,” I said, sure of the truth. I watched her with Amber. Always so careful, like she worried that Amber would break if the wrong thing was said.

“She can be dangerous without ever touching one of you,” Brook said. “Do you have any idea what the humans will do if they figure out you’re holding one of their children hostage?”

“I’m not doing that,” I said.

“But that’s how they will see it,” Brook said.

And I knew that she spoke the truth, but the thought of throwing Whilda away like trash… I couldn’t do that to her. Not when she had spent so much time trying to save herself with everyone working against her. Not when she had the courage to get away and keep running, even when danger seemed to wait around every corner.

The girl had worked her way into my head. Huntress save me, but she had gotten under my skin.

“Even if I understood why you didn’t call the Authorities,” Brook continued, “why would you keep her in the house. You could have left her at her father’s. Let her run. What does it matter to you? Or you could have left her at the shelter. Those humans might’ve beaten her up, but they probably wouldn’t have killed her. You could have washed your hands of her a dozen times by now, but you haven’t. Why not?”

Because I can’t.

I shoved that thought out of my head and leaned back in my chair. Brook stared at me with so much confusion, I really started to get worried. It would be so easy for her to call the Authorities, and then where would we be? I’d have to decide if Whilda’s wellbeing would be worth potentially losing the kids. I already knew the answer. I wouldn’t give up my kids for anything.

Whilda would get taken into custody, and she’d never find her way back into the human world again. Most people would assume that she’d die within the first week of her captivity. I thought she’d last a lot longer. Months, even. When she died, it wouldn’t be because someone else killed her, either. She’d just lose the will to keep fighting.

The images came to me so clearly. During my training, they showed me pictures and videos of those imprisoned humans. They had lost their personalities and devolved into something little more than animal. I imagined that humans had similar facilities for Nightmares that got captured, and that they didn’t live very long either.

Whilda wouldn’t make it long in one of those places. I couldn’t let that happen.

I also didn’t know what else to do. I could try a thousand different shelters, and they would all have the same dangers that the last one did. She could be sleeping, only to have someone put a knife to her throat. I wouldn’t take her back to her father. I couldn’t fathom dropping her off at the police station anymore, either. What would they even do to her? Send her back to that man? I couldn’t risk it.

There had to be another option.

I rubbed my face, and leaned forward, getting my elbows on the table. “I’m not saying that I keep her. I’m not saying that I do anything with her. I’m saying that she can’t go back to her home, and I’ve tried too hard to save her life to walk away now. Just… let us stay here for the day, don’t call the Authorities, and keep quiet about what you think I should do. Whilda and I will figure this out.”

My aunt leaned forward, matching my pose almost exactly. “Of course, you can stay here, Kier. And I would never do anything that would risk the children’s happiness. But you need to figure out what to do with her sooner rather than later. That girl will be a poison on your house, and I don’t think you want that.”

“She’s harmless,” I said.

“The Huntress thought that too,” Brook said, rising to her feet. “Get rid of her, Kier. Do it soon.”

My aunt walked away from me, and into her bedroom. I stayed at the table for a few minutes after that, just repeating her words in my head. I got her point. I understood it deep down in my chest. And yet, foolish me couldn’t put those words to Whilda’s face. I couldn’t imagine her trying to hurt the kids any more than I could imagine a butterfly murdering a spider.

It just didn’t make sense.

None of that changed the fact that I had to figure out what to do with her. It would only be a matter of time before someone figured out that I had Whilda in my house. And if that came out, then anything could happen. Including her being murdered and me losing the kids.

It started to feel like I didn’t have a good option.