TWENTY FIVE. Never Been Loved
Riley leaned against the balcony railing after dinner with Logan was over an hour ago. She couldn't sleep. He wasn't sleepy at all because he had slept too much since he was hospitalized. Actually, she wanted to go to Logan's study and look for interesting books to read, but she was too lazy to meet Logan. The atmosphere at the dining table felt very awkward and strange when they had dinner an hour ago. Logan was just silent, busy devouring his food without saying much. They didn't talk about raw fish anymore or the abhorrent vomiting incident.
Riley took a deep breath, trying to dispel the tightness that gripped her heart. She didn't want to be fragile. She had to be strong so she could get through every second, minute, and hour, of this cruel life. Riley was determined to become strong so that one day she could free her father from the clutches of her evil mother.
While Riley was enjoying the cool night air, she suddenly heard the sound of shoe soles rubbing against the ground in Logan's yard. She tried to sharpen her ears to hear the footsteps. There was no one down there. She searched every corner of Logan's courtyard, but it was empty. The sound of boots tapping on the ground continued and became clearer.
Riley stood quietly near the balcony guardrail. The footsteps had stopped. The figure that Riley had been waiting for appeared. One of Logan's men was standing in the shadow of a maple tree. It looked like he was wearing something in his ears.
Riley narrowed her eyes to see the mysterious man's face more clearly. She wondered why the man was calling someone under the dark shadow of a tree. She gasped when she discovered that it was the man who had been staring at her when she first set foot in Logan's house. The man was the only one who had stared at her intently, so Riley was sure she couldn't have mistaken him.
"Logan Hatcher has a new toy. A woman who is very precious to him because she will give birth to his baby."
Riley's heart skipped a beat. She panicked because the man mentioned her name.
"That woman is not just his bitch. Logan treats her special. She's precious."
As the man looked up to the sky, Riley quickly crouched behind the balcony railing. She crouched very low, watching the man caress the gun belt around his waist while talking to someone who might be Logan's enemy.
“That woman is Logan's weakness now. Even though she just had a miscarriage, Logan is definitely planning to get her pregnant again.”
A discordant laugh filled with hatred howled below. Riley couldn't bear to hear the evil man's voice any longer. But she had to.
“Tomorrow there will be a party at one of Logan’s casinos. Logan would take the woman with him. I think Logan would like to introduce her to all his business colleagues."
“……”
"Hmm, you can kidnap her when Logan is off guard tomorrow night. She can be your weapon to take revenge for Brittany's death."
Brittany?
Riley frowned deeply. She seemed to have heard the name somewhere. The name sounded familiar to her. But she couldn't find any information in her mind about Brittany yet. Her name echoed in her mind like a ghost from the past and disturbed her greatly.
Riley sighed in disappointment as the man walked away from the courtyard before finishing his conversation with whoever was on the phone at the moment. But if the man was a spy, Logan should have been wary of his men and not put his trust in him.
"What are you doing here? Why don't you sleep in your room?"
Logan's low and hoarse voice startled Riley, who was busy thinking. Her body twitched reflexively, and she failed to give Logan the impression that she was fine.
“I-I… was looking at the sky.”
She wasn't completely lying, but she wasn't being honest either. Logan frowned. She knew she wasn't good at lying.
"Why are you crouching under the iron bar?"
Logan walked over to her. His expression hardened and looked suspicious. He saw something strange, like fear and lies on Riley's face. Then vague doubts. The corner of Riley's eyes moved across the balcony bar to glance at something in the yard.
“The tree branches below were swaying. I thought it was a ghost. I got scared and crouched here. And you surprised me with your voice."
Riley backed away until her back hit the balcony bar as Logan walked closer to her. She glanced over her shoulder briefly, confirming that the man was gone from Logan's yard.
"Are you sure? You look nervous."
“I was surprised that you suddenly came. Why are you here?”
Logan glanced at her intensely before turning his gaze to the gray night sky.
"This is my house. I am free to be anywhere in my house. You should get into your bed now."
"I know. But I'm not a kid anymore. I will sleep after I feel really sleepy. You don't know what it's like to just lie all day on a gurney doing nothing. I'm bored."
"I know how it feels," Logan said coldly.
Logan's gaze remained on the dull gray sky, but he spoke to Riley like they were face to face.
“That was the worst moment of my life. I guess I forgot how it feels, and now you remind me of how loneliness and boredom are slowly eating away at me. It was the worst thing in my life after the death of my parents.”
"Sorry. I made you remember those sad things.”
“No matter how hard I bury that bitter moments in my brain, I still can't forget it all. Sometimes the pain comes and hurts my head. I'm stuck in a past sadness that can never heal. No matter how much I took drugs, they only eased my physical pain, but never cured me.”
She really wanted to stroke Logan's tensed shoulder, but all she could do was clench her fists over the balcony railing and stare straight up at the sky as Logan did beside her.
"Your sadness will go away someday. You just haven't found the right medicine yet."
"I'm not sure that sadness like that will heal someday."
“People say love can cure all kinds of sadness. So, you need to find love to cure your sadness."
Logan chuckled, scoffing at Riley's words that sounded ridiculous to him. Love was bullshit. That's what he had believed since he was abandoned by his parents and had to face the cruelty of the world alone. If he were poor, he was sure no one would approach him or care about him. They all approached him and pretended to be his friend because he had a lot of money.
"I've never been loved, and I don't need to love anyone."
“But you want to get love. You want someone who loves you sincerely, and not because you have a lot of money. That's why you want to have children."
Logan was silent long enough to think whether he could trust Riley and tell her a small part of his sad life story or not. Sharing the past was a sentimental thing. He only shared that with Betty. She was a living witness to the entire bitter story of his life. But he never shared with any woman.
"Say something. I'd be happy if we could share and get to know each other more deeply."
"You're probably right about me wanting to be genuinely loved. And I wish I could get that from my son.”
"Why do you think that a child is the only way you can be loved?"
"Because that's what happened to me. I really love my parents. And I hope that when I have a child, he will love me as much as I love him.”
"You're unique," Riley muttered quietly.
Her assessment of Logan changed slightly. They seemed similar in some ways. They were both in pain and in need of love.
She let Logan stare at the gray sky. She would wait until tomorrow morning to tell Logan about one of his men planning revenge on him. She couldn't say something so important in such a hurry. If she was wrong, and Logan's men found out that she overheard their conversation, her life could be in danger. Or maybe her life was already in danger, because she was chosen by Logan to bear his offspring.