Between a New Life and a Decision Made with the Heart

Between a New Life and a Decision Made with the Heart
Maggie’s Point of View

Time had completely lost all meaning. I couldn’t say how long I’d been there in that room, only that my body was no longer my own. Every muscle, every nerve, every part of me was overtaken by that raw force that came in waves, bending me, opening me up, pushing me to a limit I already knew… but that never ceased to be terrifying. I’d been through this before, but knowing that didn’t make it any easier; if anything, it made it more intense.

“Another contraction coming,” the doctor warned, her voice firm and matter-of-fact, as if she were describing something simple.

I let out a shaky breath, already feeling it begin.

“I know…” I murmured, clutching the sheet between my fingers.

The pain came fast and without warning. It shot up like fire, drawing a low moan from me that I couldn’t hold back. Dominic’s hand had been in mine from the start. Firm and warm.

Impossible to ignore.

He took control the moment I said I was in labor, as if he’d done this before, knowing exactly what I needed even before I spoke. He stayed by my side the whole time, holding my hand, letting me squeeze until our hands turned red. He was doing this like everything else he did in life, almost like a professional. I knew he’d been reading pregnancy books after we returned to Russia because I’d seen several in his room, but I didn’t know he’d actually become an expert on women in labor.

“Look at me, Maggie,” he said, closer now. “Breathe with me.”

I turned my face, meeting his eyes.

He was completely there; nothing around him seemed to exist for him. No doctors, no nurses, no machines.

Just me.

I took a breath, trying to follow the rhythm he set, even though my body wanted to do the opposite.

“That’s it… like that…”

The contraction intensified.

“I need to push,” I said through clenched teeth, the urgency taking over.

The doctor approached immediately.

“Perfect, Maggie. That’s it. When the next one comes, you’ll push, okay?”

I just nodded, too breathless for anything else. Dominic leaned closer, his forehead almost touching mine.

“I’m here,” he murmured.

I squeezed his hand tightly.

“I know…”

The next one came, stronger, deeper.

“Now, Maggie!” the doctor instructed.

I pushed, my whole body tensing, every muscle straining, the pain becoming something almost impossible to separate from me.

“That’s it, that’s it, keep going!” a voice said in the background. I couldn’t hear clearly, I could only feel it. “Again!” the doctor urged. I took a breath, trembling, and pushed once more. “It’s almost here, Maggie, I can already see the head!” she said, with more urgency now.

A sound escaped me, half cry, half effort.

“Dominic…” I called, almost voiceless.

“I’m here,” he replied immediately, squeezing my hand tighter. “You’re doing amazing.”

I pushed again and again; the contractions had no breaks anymore, they came in waves, the pressure much greater, and all I could do was push and push, nonstop, using every ounce of strength I had left in my body. Jamie’s birth seemed to have lasted much longer than this one, but I didn’t remember it being as exhausting as I was feeling with this baby.

Until… a loud, strong cry filled the entire room, and my body simply… gave in to all the force I’d been exerting. I fell back onto the bed, gasping for breath, completely exhausted, my eyes filling with tears before I even realized it.

“It’s a healthy, beautiful girl,” the doctor announced, a smile in her voice.

I tried to look, but my vision was blurry.

“Dominic…” I whispered, turning my face toward him.

I saw when he let go of my hand for the first time and stepped back, then I saw when they handed her over. My heart skipped a beat, and then the full reality of that moment hit me all at once.

Dominic was holding our daughter the moment she came into this world; his face was one of the first she saw. It brought a warmth to my heart and a calm to my body that was inexplicable.

“Hi, my love, I’m your dad. Welcome to this world, thank you for being here.” Maggie heard him murmur, gazing at her closely.

He held her with such care, as if she were made of something impossible to touch without breaking. His eyes were fixed on her, completely absorbed, as if he were trying to understand what he was seeing… or perhaps just to record every detail. His lips parted slightly, but no words came out, and then he looked at me.

There was something profound, something… whole.

He approached the bed, slowly, as if each step carried weight.

“She’s here,” he said, his voice low and heavy.

I felt my chest tighten.

“Give her to me…” My voice came out weak but urgent.

He nodded immediately, and with absurd care, he placed her in my arms.

The warmth, the light weight, the tiny body nestling against my chest as if it had always belonged there. I let out a sob I couldn’t hold back.

“Hi, my princess, I’m your mom…” I whispered, looking at the tiny face, still a little wrinkled, eyes closed, little mouth moving slightly.

My daughter.

Our daughter.

Dominic stood there, beside me, one hand still supporting her, as if he couldn’t quite let go. I looked up at him.

“She’s beautiful…”

He nodded, slowly.

“She’s perfect.” His voice faltered at the end.

I saw him swallow hard, trying to keep his composure; my hand moved, touching his.

“You’re here this time,” I said softly, without taking my eyes off him.

He closed his eyes for a second.

“I wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

I pulled our daughter a little closer, feeling her heart beating fast against my chest, and for the first time in three weeks… everything seemed to fall into place.

The three of us together.

In the room, with the low, constant hum of the monitors and the clean, almost sterile smell of the hospital filling the air, I watched Dominic cradle our daughter in his arms as if the whole world were concentrated there, in that tiny body wrapped in a white blanket. He didn’t want to let her go, not even so the nurses could check her and get her ready for us, as if every second away from him were too much. I let out a weary sigh, feeling my body sink a little deeper into the mattress. I was exhausted; it had been four hours of intense contractions, each one pushing me to my limit, and the labor hadn’t been the easiest; still, it all seemed small now.

It was all worth it.

Now I had my princess in this world… in her father’s protective arms.

“She’s sleeping; you can put her in the crib,” I said, my voice low and hoarse, resting my head on the pillow. My eyes were half-open, heavy, but I couldn’t stop looking at them.

“She’s comfortable in my arms; she doesn’t need a crib,” he replied, without even deigning to look at me.

I almost smiled. It was so… Dominic.

“Did you call Irina?” I asked after a few seconds, my voice coming out softer.

He just nodded, his eyes still fixed on our daughter, as if he were memorizing every feature, every breath.

“She said Jamie is fine. That I should focus only on you and our baby.”

I gave a small, tired but genuine smile. In a thousand years I wouldn’t have bet that I’d leave Jamie with Irina to give birth to my daughter, but everything had changed. Since Yulia’s death, the pain we were all feeling seemed to have reshaped something inside each of us, as if something had been forcibly torn away… and in its place remained a cruel clarity. For Irina, it had been devastating in a way that didn’t even need explaining. Losing a daughter… I had no words to describe what that meant, but I could see it. To see it in her gaze, to see it in the way she moved, to see it in the silence. The loss had been brutal… and transformative. It was as if, suddenly, lineage, legacy, fortune, prestige… all of that had completely lost its meaning. None of it held any weight without her children; nothing mattered if they weren’t there. Now, with only Dominic… even if he rejected her with all his might… she was clinging to him, to Jamie, and I knew that, inevitably, she would also cling to our daughter, and in some strange way… it seemed genuine, at least with them. With me… it was different; with me, Irina was trying, and that, in itself, was more than I ever imagined I’d see. As far as I was concerned, it was all right. I would never fully like her either; some things simply can’t be erased, but if she were a good mother from now on… if she loved Dominic… if she loved our children as a grandmother should… that would be enough.

I looked up at Dominic again. He was walking slowly around the room, gently rocking our daughter in his arms, completely focused on that little bundle. The world around him seemed not to exist. Not me, not the pain.

Nothing.

Just her.

My heart tightened in a strange way, as if it were shrinking inside my chest. The image of him crying the night before invaded my mind without warning, the way he had broken down… silently… as if he’d been holding it in for too long. Watching his pain spill out was one of the hardest things I’ve ever witnessed. We were all suffering, all trying to pick ourselves up after what happened… after losing a part of the light that existed in our lives.

Yulia.

But for Dominic… it was different; for him, the world was smaller, more closed off, more restricted. His father was dead, his mother… was Irina, and I… I had betrayed him in a way he still couldn’t quite forgive. So, in the end… there was only his sister. She… and her children; and now she wasn’t there anymore. The reality that it was Massimo Esposito who killed her still seemed too distant to fully process… but at the same time, cruelly present, and there was another truth… one that I knew was hammering away at Dominic’s mind all the time. It was he who let Massimo go to pay off Marco’s debt.

I closed my eyes for a second, feeling a weight settle on my chest. I knew Dominic was holding it all together, staying strong, in control, functioning, but inside… something had broken, and it wasn’t something that could be fixed.

The space Yulia occupied in his life would never be filled.

Never.

It would stay there… open… bleeding… forever.

I swallowed hard, looking at him again. He couldn’t lose anyone else.

“Dominic,” my voice echoed in the room, quieter than I intended, but still loud enough to reach him.

He slowly lifted his face from where he had been completely absorbed in our daughter. His eyes, which were soft in an almost unrecognizable way as he watched her, fixed on me; there was still that strange calmness about him… almost like a suspended state.

“I don’t want to leave.”

He blinked, as if he needed a second to process what I’d said, then stood staring at me for a moment, motionless, the baby still cradled in his arms.

“We’re not leaving today… the doctor said…”

“I’m not talking about the hospital,” I interrupted, feeling my heart race a little faster.

He frowned immediately. I saw the exact moment when something changed in his expression; his eyes widened slightly, his attention now completely on me. He took a long stride toward the bed… and then stopped, as if holding himself back.

“What are you talking about, Maggie?”

I pressed my teeth against my lower lip, feeling the weight of what I was about to say, but without hesitation.

“I’m not leaving Russia… I’m staying.”

The silence that followed seemed louder than any sound in that room.

“What?” he asked, his voice firmer now. “Why? Because of Yulia, Maggie, this…”

“It’s not because of Yulia,” I interrupted again, this time more firmly. I took a deep breath, feeling my chest tighten. “Not exactly because of her. Of course, what happened made me think a lot… and the pain we’re feeling for her is fuel for us to act more from the heart… but why would that be wrong?” I stared at him, my face neutral—I knew that… but inside, everything was laid bare. My eyes burned, heavy with everything I was feeling. “I’m not feeling sorry for you because you lost your sister. I’m not acting this way because I want to make up for something.” My voice came out lower, but firm. “Did you hear my first sentence? I don’t want to leave.”

Dominic looked away for a moment, gazing at the small body in his arms as our daughter let out a soft sound, almost a sigh. He adjusted the blanket automatically, a careful, almost instinctive gesture… and then turned to face me again.

“Why don’t you want to leave, Maggie?”

I exhaled slowly and shifted, pulling myself up until I was fully seated on the bed. Every muscle still ached, but that seemed small compared to what I needed to say.

“Because I want to stay by your side,” I replied, bluntly. “Because going back to the United States feels… empty, wrong. Shitty, actually.” I ran my tongue over my dry lips before continuing. “I don’t want Jamie… or this baby… away from you. I don’t want to live a life where you show up every once in a while to see our kids.”

I saw him run his tongue over his lips, a slow, tense gesture.

“My sister died because of the world we live in…” he said, his voice lower now. “You were forced to kill someone… because of the world I live in.”

I looked away for a second.

It was impossible not to think about it, even when I tried my hardest not to. Especially at night, in my dreams. I saw myself holding the gun… shooting… again and again… and he wouldn’t die. He never died, and in the end, it was always worse. In the end, he killed everyone. My whole body tensed at the memory. I trembled for almost an entire day after that moment… after taking someone’s life. Someone I hated, someone who took my best friend away from me, but still… a life. One I aimed at… and destroyed… without stopping until there was nothing left. Massimo Esposito turned me into something I never thought I’d be. I didn’t regret it, but I hated carrying that burden.

“I hate how that made me feel… but I don’t regret it,” I said, looking back at him, my gaze steady. “I guess that fits me into your world even better now, right?” My voice softened a little as I continued. “As for Yulia… her blood was Volkov. That would never change, and if we could ask her now if she’d trade the life she had to avoid the ending… I know she’d say no.” I swallowed hard. “She loved being your sister, she loved who she was, she loved you guys… she loved Nicolai.” My voice faltered for a second, but I kept going. “What happened is shit… but it will never erase the incredible life she had.”

“Maggie…” he murmured, but I didn’t stop.

“I want Jamie and this baby to grow up with you as their father, Dominic.” My eyes filled with tears. “I’m not going to take that away from them… or from you.” He stared at me intensely, almost painfully. “I know you’ll protect them… no matter what happens.”

“I’d give everything I am,” he replied, his voice low and heavy. “My life… for their safety.”

“I know.” I exhaled slowly. “I also know you can’t forgive me,” I continued, calmer now. “And that’s okay.” It hurt to say that, but it was the truth. “We can make this work… I can stay… maybe live nearby… so you can always be with Jamie and the baby…”

His gaze shifted for a moment, as if that had touched on a point he didn’t want to face directly. He cleared his throat, his expression hardening slightly, as if he were trying to compose himself.

“I think we need to give her a name.”

A small smile escaped my lips, soft, weary… but real.

“Yes…”

We were silent for a moment, just looking at each other, as if everything that hadn’t been said was right there, between us.

“If that’s what you want… to stay,” he said finally, his voice lower. “If that will make you happy… and will make our children happy… then there’s nothing that would put my mind more at ease.” He took a deep breath. “Every time I think of them being far away… it feels like a part of me dies.”

My chest tightened at his words, and I nodded slowly.

“Then I want to stay,” I said, certain now, with no room for doubt. “I’m going to stay in Russia.”