Between Yulia and Nicolai, Part I

Between Yulia and Nicolai, Part I
Yulia’s Point of View

Something wasn’t right, and it wasn’t just Jamie saying my name alongside Nicolai’s—it was the tension; it had changed. I sensed it even before I understood why. The air around them seemed thicker, heavier, as if something were about to explode and no one but me had noticed yet. Nicolai wouldn’t choose that moment to talk to my brother, would he? Not there; not in the middle of a baby shower, surrounded by enemies disguised as allies, with everyone watching.

Not Nicolai.

My heart raced in my chest, a clear warning that something was spiraling out of control. I glanced quickly to the side and found Maggie standing in front of the dessert table, scrutinizing each option with almost exaggerated attention, as if it were the most important thing in the world. She seemed calm, serene, completely oblivious to what was happening a few steps ahead. I waited, waited just long enough for her to choose a treat and pick it up carefully before stepping forward and gripping her arm firmly. She turned her face toward me immediately, her eyes alert, as if she already knew something was wrong just from my touch.

“Something’s wrong, I need you to contain the damage.” My voice came out lower than I expected, but laden with urgency.

I didn’t wait for a response; I just started pulling her with me toward the two of them. If anyone could stop Dominic from turning this into a problem… it would be her.

It would always be her.

I stopped beside Nicolai, immediately feeling the warmth of his body next to mine, solid, firm, like an anchor… and at the same time a source of nervousness. I let go of Maggie only when she was already positioned near my brother and Jamie. I looked from one to the other, and there it was: the tension. Thick, palpable, and cutting.

“What the hell is going on here?” My voice came out firmer than I felt.

My eyes darted restlessly from Dominic to Nicolai. My brother was completely still, his face unreadable, and Nicolai… Nicolai looked far too determined; that wasn’t good.

“All right, then.” His voice broke the silence like a snap, and before I could react, I felt his arm wrap around my waist, pulling me slightly closer. My body responded instantly, a shock running through my skin.

That wasn’t part of the plan; that definitely wasn’t part of the plan.

“Nicolai, what the hell…” My attempt at protest died halfway through.

“Yulia and I are together.”

The world… stopped. I could feel it. It was as if time had been ripped from its place for a whole second. My body froze, my breath caught, my heart pounding too hard inside my chest—slow, loud, and uncontrollable. I tore my eyes away from him almost automatically and turned them to my brother. He showed absolutely nothing, and that was worse than any explosive reaction he could have had. The silence stretched on for a moment that felt far too long, far too unbearable. Until he looked down at Jamie.

“Was that your guess, son?” The casualness of the question caught me completely off guard.

Jamie furrowed his brow, clearly trying to process the question with the earnestness of a child still learning about the world.

“Aunt Yulia and Uncle Nicolai?”

The way he said it… innocent, simple… melted something inside me. Maggie let out a laugh before she could even control herself, and I… I laughed along with her. Nervously, unable to help it. It was too absurd, too intense. My brother looked back at us, his face relaxed. That could mean two things; either he was fine, or someone was about to die.

“How long have you been hiding this from me?”

My heart skipped a beat.

“Not long. We didn’t mean to hide it…” The words came out fast, almost stumbling over each other. I needed to explain, I needed to make him understand, I needed to make sure this wouldn’t become a problem between him and Nicolai. Because I couldn’t bear that. They were friends before me, before anything else. I’d thought about it so many times… entire nights awake, staring at the ceiling, my heart aching, imagining every possible scenario, every wrong ending it could have, but even so… even with all the fear… I was in love with Nicolai. So deeply that sometimes it felt like I no longer knew where I ended and he began. And the scariest part… was that I had no idea when it had happened. I just knew that, at some point, without warning, without control… I looked at him differently, and my heart never beat the same way again.

Four Months Earlier.

I was leaving the university, and the feeling had been the same lately… as if that place were the only one where I could still breathe. I spent more time there than anywhere else. It wasn’t just because of the classes, even though they were demanding everything from me; it wasn’t just because of the books, the endless notes on how the human brain worked, on emotions, traumas, defense mechanisms… it was because inside… I could escape. Escape the reality that awaited me on the outside.

Maggie and Jamie had died, and Dominic… Dominic had died along with them.

What remained in my brother’s place was something cold, distant… an ice monster that breathed only for the fucking Bratva. All the pain he felt, everything I saw him go through… the days locked in his son’s room, crying, drinking, sleeping on the floor as if he were going to die there… all of that simply vanished, and in its place… only hatred and a thirst for revenge remained. He destroyed half of the Bratva in a single stroke, without mercy, without hesitation… and now all that mattered was rebuilding, stronger, crueler, more untouchable. As if power could fill the void, as if that could fix anything, as if he could go on living… as if nothing had happened.

I let out a heavy sigh, feeling the exhaustion wash over me again, and slowed my pace… until I came to a complete stop. The black car was parked there; I’d recognize it anywhere, and before I could even think much, the door opened… and Nicolai stepped out.

Impeccable. A suit perfectly tailored to his body, hair in place, posture firm… as if he’d stepped out of a magazine, and for some reason, it struck me differently that day. I’d been noticing this more and more, and it was… strange. Very strange. Nicolai and I had grown closer over the past few months. It was inevitable; I had no one else… and we both shared the same concern.

Dominic Volkov.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” My voice came out automatically as I approached.

He ran his hand through his beard absentmindedly… and my brain, completely treacherous, registered the movement in a way it shouldn’t have. God… did he know that made him sexier?

“Hmmm…” he murmured. “You’ve been MIA the last few days. Just checking in.”

I narrowed my eyes immediately.

“Just checking in? Did my brother ask you to do that?”

“No, Yulia. I haven’t even spoken to your brother in the last few days. I just…”

“You just…” I insisted, crossing my arms, even though I sensed something was different here.

He stared at me, and for a second… it was too intense. His eyes seemed to pin me in place, studying me in a way that made me uncomfortable… or maybe not uncomfortable. Just… too self-conscious.

“I just missed you.”

That caught me completely off guard. My smile simply vanished… and I felt my face flush.

“You missed me?”

“Can’t I miss you?” He didn’t look away, didn’t hesitate, and that only made everything worse.

“You… you can… I just…” I laughed, nervously, completely unsure of what to do with that.

What was happening to me? Why did it feel like the temperature had suddenly risen ten degrees?

“I came to invite you to dinner. I bought ingredients and I’m cooking.”

He spoke as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t just completely messed with my head, and honestly… I was grateful for that.

“Oh, I’ll take you up on that. I was going to eat at a diner; this saves me from eating junk food for another day.”

“Great, let’s go then.” He stepped back and opened the car door for me.

I paused for a second.

“Shouldn’t I just take my own car? That way you don’t have to drive me.”

He kept the door open… and looked at me.

“It’s no problem for me to give you a ride.”

Just like that, straightforward, and once again, I didn’t know what to say. I just nodded, still feeling awkward, and got into the car. He got in right after and started the engine, the comfortable… yet heavy… silence settling between us.

That was it.

It was always like that with Nicolai; while I felt completely aware of every movement, every word… as if I could make a mistake at any moment… I also felt safe and calm. As if I could simply… be myself.

“What are you going to cook for me?” I asked a little while later, once the car was already moving.

“Pelmeni stuffed with pork.”

“Hmmmm…” I murmured, satisfied.

“Olivier salad.”

“Hmmmm…”

He smiled slightly, and I felt something warm in my chest.

“And pirozhki…”

“You make me so happy, Nicolai Vasiliev.” I said with a sincere smile… which gradually faded when I realized he was looking at me again. That deep, silent gaze. Too intense. “What?” I asked, a little taken aback.

“Nothing. I’m happy to make you happy.”

I swallowed hard.

“You’re the only one lately.” The words slipped out before I could think, and as soon as they did… I wanted to take them back.

Because it was true, and because it was too heavy a burden. I did this all the time. I dumped everything on him—my frustrations, my pain, the emptiness at home, the absence of Maggie and Jamie, the distance from my mother, the way Dominic had become unrecognizable… and Nicolai… always absorbed it all. He always made me feel better.

He was the only one, and that… was scary.

I sighed, looking away.

“Tell me, Nicolai Vasiliev… is that how you win women over? By cooking their favorite dishes?” I tried to change the subject, lighten the mood.

He took his eyes off the road for a second and raised an eyebrow, and only then did I realize.

“No, no, no… that’s not what I meant, and you know it. Don’t make me blush!” I said quickly, feeling my face grow even hotter. He laughed, and that sound… God… that sound was ridiculously beautiful. “I know you’re not cooking to win me over… I just wanted to know if that’s the tactic you use with other women you’re interested in.”

He was silent for a second… then replied.

“No. I don’t use that tactic to win over other women.”

Seriously, straight to the point. Looking at me, and my heart… it just skipped a beat. Why? Why did that sound different?

“Yulia…”

“Hmmm…” I replied, trying to sound normal.

“Do you want to know what tactic I use to win over other women?”

He looked back at the road, and I was able to breathe easier.

“I guess so…” I murmured, not knowing why it suddenly mattered so much.

The car fell silent. A thick, heavy silence… not uncomfortable, but filled with something I couldn’t name. I could hear the soft hum of the engine, the movement of the city outside, but in there… it felt like the world had shrunk.

“If I told you I don’t have one, would you believe me?” He finally spoke, glancing quickly at me before turning his eyes back to the road.

I furrowed my brow slightly.

“What do you mean?”

“No woman has held my attention long enough for me to want to win her over to the point of devising a strategy. I’ve never been that involved.”

That took me by surprise. I’d seen Nicolai with many women over the years. Some fleeting, others that seemed to last longer… but I’d never stopped to think about how superficial it all was.

“What about Maggie?” The question slipped out before I could filter it.

I was genuinely curious, because, even though he’d never done anything, I knew. He’d been in love with Maggie.

He didn’t hesitate.

“Maggie…” he said, thoughtfully. “I don’t know if I was really in love with Maggie… or with the idea she represented.”