Between Love and Sacrifice

Between Love and Sacrifice
Dominic’s Point of View

I saw the way she looked at me. Rage and hurt burned in her eyes when I told her again that she should leave, and damn it… I knew she was right to feel both of those things; I was being a jerk. I knew it with infuriating clarity. Minutes earlier I’d pulled her against me, kissed her as if the world were ending, as if everything between us could still be saved by the sheer force of desire, and if she hadn’t stopped me… we would have fucked again, like the night before, as if nothing had happened, as if everything weren’t destroyed—and now I was standing there, kicking her out of my room as if she were a stranger.

But I couldn’t handle her. At the same time that I wanted answers—needed them as much as I needed to breathe—there was something inside me… a monster… that didn’t calm down with the truth; it just grew more agitated, more violent with every word she spoke. Hearing that she had orchestrated it all, that no one forced her, that there was no desperation, fear, or manipulation… that she did it because she thought it was the right thing to do… coldly… in a way I never imagined Maggie was capable of… It left me completely beside myself; it was like looking at a version of her I didn’t know, or worse… a version I had created myself.

“No,” she said.

I blinked, pulled back into the moment.

“What?”

“I said no, I’m not going.”

My jaw clenched.

“Maggie…”

I was going to cut her off right there, tell her to leave once and for all, say that my patience had run out, that I didn’t want to hear another word… but she interrupted me first.

“You’re going to listen to me. I’ll leave when I’m done saying everything I have to say, but until then, I’m not leaving here.”

Her tone… defiant, firm… made something dangerous twist inside me. I wanted to kiss her again, I wanted to silence that mouth with mine, and at the same time… I wanted to bring her to her knees and punish her for every word.

“You’re in no position to demand anything,” I retorted, without backing down an inch, but I wasn’t backing down by force. I wanted to see how far she would go.

A part of me, the more rational one, screamed for me to walk away, told me I needed distance, time, anything to pull me out of that state, that dealing with Maggie like that… at that moment… was asking for everything to get worse. But there was another part, darker, more intense, perhaps even masochistic. That part wanted her to stay, wanted her there, close, provoking me, messing with me… wanted to drag her into the same chaos I was in.

“I know,” she replied, without looking away. “Still, it’s all I have. Want to hate me? Go ahead and hate me, but hate me knowing the truth, all of it. You’re the one who sought this out, Dominic, when you came to Seattle.”

I stared at her.

Blue eyes meeting green.

So intense that the air seemed heavier between us, as if breathing required effort. Maggie let out a heavy sigh.

“You were going to die,” she said at last. My body reacted before my mind did, a slight stiffening, a brief internal silence. “I could see it,” she continued, her voice firm but laden with something deeper. “I could feel it in every word you spoke, in every silence of yours… You were giving up, you were going to let go of everything you were, of your father’s legacy… for me and for Jamie. You wouldn’t have had the courage to do what you did if I’d been right there by your side.”

I stopped; the fury coursing hot through my veins slowed, as if someone had turned down the heat—it still burned… but not the same way.

“What are you talking about?” My voice came out lower, more controlled.

“You killed Vladimir and the old guard, as you were supposed to. You took out all the traitors who were stabbing you in the back one by one, as you were supposed to… That’s who you are, Dominic.” She took a subtle step forward, as if she wanted me to really listen. “It’s not all of you, but it’s still an essential part, one that keeps you alive in this world.”

I ran my hand over my face, trying to sort out the whirlwind inside my head.

“I told you I was willing to give up my world for our family,” I replied, now more sober, but no less intense.

“And it would be wonderful if it worked in the real world,” she retorted immediately. Maggie was gesturing with her hands, visibly frustrated, as if she were trying to draw it out for me, to make visible something I refused to see. “Do you think I didn’t want that?” she continued. “Do you think I haven’t fantasized about it a million times? The two of us having an amazing life, far from enemies plotting and targeting us, far from killings and situations that turn you into someone I don’t fully recognize?” She let out a heavy sigh, and I felt as if that sound dragged something inside me along with it. “You know you can’t escape the blood that runs through your veins, and the last name you carry, Dominic. There is no other world for you but the one you live in.”

Her words hung in the air, heavy, inevitable. She ran the tip of her tongue over her lips, nervously, and continued.

“And me by your side… while I was by your side, I limited you, I pruned a part of you, even if that wasn’t my intention. Vladimir was going to kill you, you knew that, you probably knew it before you took that shot… And you weren’t going to fight back, you were throwing the fight, for my sake!” My jaw clenched tightly. “Because I was afraid that if it really were you, I wouldn’t be able to handle it,” she continued, her voice faltering slightly now, but without losing its firmness. “And no matter how much I told you otherwise, you knew that just as that wasn’t your true nature… living in your world might never be mine…”

Her chin trembled, and for a second… just for a second… I saw the Maggie I knew, the one I felt, the one I loved.

“I loved you… I love you so much.” Her words hit me right in the chest, opening something I’d been trying to keep shut by force. She closed her eyes for a moment, pressing her lips together as if holding back something bigger than herself, then opened them again, green, shining with tears. “So I went there and did what I had to do…” I didn’t move, barely breathed properly. “I removed myself from your life completely, ripped out your weak and vulnerable part, so you could be strong enough to survive…”

“That’s crazy.” The word slipped out of me along with a snort, followed by a dry, short laugh, devoid of any humor. I ran my hand through my still slightly damp hair, then over my beard, trying to release the tension that was only growing. I started pacing back and forth in that huge room, the silence filled only by my heavy footsteps on the floor, until I stopped again in front of her. “You’re telling me you did all this…” my voice came out louder now, heavy with emotion. “That you faked your death and my son’s, that you were going to let me live believing that…” I stared at her, feeling something boil inside me. “Why do you think having you in my life makes me weak? That with you, I’m not fully who I’m supposed to be?” I took a step closer. “Do I have to choose between being your husband and the father of my children or the Boss of the Bratva?”

The silence that fell between us was heavy, dense, almost palpable. She held my gaze.

“I’m telling you that I made the choice for you.” Her voice was lower now, but no less firm. “And it was the right choice, Dominic, you know it was.” I didn’t know, or maybe… a part of me did. “As much as it hurts me and you…” she continued. “As much as I feel guilty for how you’ve felt all these months, and yes… as cruel as it is for me to tell you that I never intended to come back or tell you the truth… still, that’s how it is.” Every word was a blade. “I don’t regret it,” she concluded. “Because you’re only alive right now in front of me… hating me, loving me, or a little of both… because I made that choice. A choice you would never make.”

I didn’t know what to say. Actually… I couldn’t even form a complete thought. It was as if everything inside me was colliding at the same time. Anger, pain, understanding… denial. I just stood there, staring at her, trying to breathe. I heard her let out a sigh, lighter this time, and saw her shoulders slump a little, as if she’d been carrying a huge weight that had finally been set down on the ground.

“I think you’re right to go back to Russia,” she said. My mind didn’t register it, but my body did—an automatic, almost mechanical nod. “It’ll be good for both of us to take some time to get our heads straight,” she continued. “So, when you’re ready, we’ll sit down and talk about our marriage and our kids… and what’s best for them going forward.” She paused briefly. “I think, for both you and me… they really are all that matters.” I agreed with another empty nod. “I think… I think now I can do what you asked and leave.”

She stared at me, and in that look… there was something. A silent expectation. As if a part of her still hoped I’d say something, that I’d stop her, that I’d break that cycle right there and then, and damn it… I wanted to.

I wanted to tell her to stay, I wanted to tell her there was still so much to be said, so much to be understood. I wanted to hear more, everything. Every thought that crossed her mind while she decided to destroy me like that, how she lived through all those months, what she felt while I burned the world to avenge a death that never existed. I wanted to say that, in some twisted way… I understood, that a part of me even… respected her sacrifice, even though I hated it, even though I didn’t accept it. I wanted to say that she was wrong, that she and Jamie didn’t make me weak, and that they were the only thing keeping me human.

That this… all of this… was madness.

But I didn’t say anything, because in each of those truths… there was another, contradictory one. And I knew Maggie wasn’t completely wrong, so I stayed silent.

And I saw when something inside her seemed to give way; she sighed, looked at me for one last second, and then turned away. Her footsteps were soft against the bedroom floor, but each one seemed to echo inside me brutally as she passed by me. I didn’t move; I didn’t stop her. I couldn’t have; it was for the best.

The elevator doors closed, and the silence that remained… was deafening. I stood there for a few seconds, maybe minutes, not sure, until my body finally gave in, so I walked over to the bed and flung myself onto it, staring at the ceiling. The mattress was too soft, the room too quiet, too big… too empty. Her scent still seemed to linger in the air, mixed with mine, with the scent of my recent shower, with everything that had happened there. I stared at the ceiling for a time I couldn’t measure, feeling my thoughts tangle together, like knotted threads that no one could untangle.

Everything was mixed up.

Nothing made sense, nothing led anywhere. It was just a constant noise inside my head, but at some point, it began to slow down. As if exhaustion had finally taken its toll, as if my body had decided for me that enough was enough, and then I fell asleep.

And I dreamed…

I saw Maggie and Jamie in Russia. Everything was white, an endless expanse of snow stretching as far as the eye could see. The air felt clean, biting, and the cold… the cold was the kind that burned the skin, that made the air enter my lungs heavily, just the way I loved it.  They were there, dressed in winter clothes, thick coats, hats, gloves… protected, snug. Jamie ran clumsily through the snow, laughing, falling, getting up again while Maggie ran after him, laughing too, throwing snow at him, pulling him close. They built snowmen, started an impromptu snowball fight, and the sound of their laughter… was light.

Genuine.

The strangest thing… they seemed comfortable there, even with the cold that I knew Maggie hated.

I wasn’t with them; I was far away. Just watching, as if there were an invisible barrier between us, and I couldn’t get closer—I could only watch. Absorbing that happiness that didn’t include me.

At one point, flakes began to fall from the sky. I opened my hand, tilting my head back slightly, feeling the light touch in the air, looking up at the pale sky, but when I looked down again at the palm of my hand… my brow furrowed. They weren’t snowflakes, they were ashes.

Dark and dirty.

I clenched my hand into a fist, feeling something tighten inside my chest, and looked back up at them. Maggie and Jamie were no longer there. The sound of laughter had vanished, her voice… his babbling… everything had disappeared; all that remained was silence, the snow, and the ashes now falling everywhere, as if the sky were burning.

“Maggie! Jamie!” My voice echoed in the void. “Maggie! Where the hell are you?”

Nothing answered, just the echo… and then silence again. I let out a heavy sigh and closed my eyes; for a second… everything seemed to freeze, but then I felt it.

A warm touch.

Small.

Fingers wrapping around my still-clenched hand. I opened my eyes and she was there; right in front of me.

Beautiful.

Pregnant.

Alive.

Maggie smiled at me, and that smile… for a moment… made everything seem a little lighter.

“I’m okay,” she said.

My chest relaxed.

“I couldn’t find you anywhere,” I replied, my voice coming out lower, hoarser than I expected.

“I know,” she said softly. “It makes me sad, too.”

I stared at her, taking in every detail, as if I could etch her image there. My hand rose, almost without my noticing, wanting to touch her face, feel her skin, make sure she was real, but before I could reach her… A sharp, sudden jolt. My gaze fell automatically, and there was blood. A dark stain, spreading near my chest, just below, growing with every second like a wound that refused to stop. I coughed and the metallic taste flooded my mouth, then the red stained the white snow.

“Don’t worry,” Maggie said, with a small smile, but her eyes… were sad. “Everything will be okay… when I’m gone.”

My stomach churned.

“Why do you have to go?” I asked, feeling something tighten inside me, something I couldn’t hold back.

“Because only then can we both remain whole.”

She let go of my hand, took a step back, then another. Turning and walking away.

“Maggie!” I shouted. She didn’t look back, just kept walking. “Maggie!”

Everything went dark, and I opened my eyes with a start. I couldn’t breathe properly; my chest was rising and falling too fast, as if something were squeezing my throat from the inside. I sat up abruptly in bed, my hand still clenched against my chest, trying to catch my breath.

Seattle.

Hotel room.

Reality.

My head was still heavy, foggy, when the sound of my phone vibrating cut through the silence. I turned my face toward the device, reached out, and grabbed it.

It was a message from Nicolai.

“Everything is set for Massimo’s extraction. Are you coming back?”

I stared at the screen for a second, letting out a slow sigh.

“Yes, I am.” I typed and sent it, without hesitation.

Then I opened my pilot’s contact.

“Prepare a private jet and fly to Seattle; I want to get out of here by tomorrow morning at the latest.”

I sent the message and let the phone fall beside me on the bed.

I ran my hand over my face, closing my eyes for a brief moment. I had nothing left to do in that damn city. I already had all the answers I’d come looking for.