73. Tunnel Vision

[Maeve]

"Oh, now that? That was smooth." Sinclair chuckled, grinning as he took my face between his hands, kissing me softly before pulling back, motioning towards the cabin. "I will need to turn on the electric."

"No, don't," I said, shaking my head, grabbing his hand before he could walk away. I bit my lip as he pulled me back into his arms, watching me curiously. "I've been daydreaming about being here for months," I whispered against his chest. *'This cabin is like one in a movie. A cabin hidden in the woods, sitting off of a lake. If he turns on the electric, we'll use the lights, and I'd rather use the fireplace to keep warm.'*

"Is that so? What have you been daydreaming about?" He chuckled, then stepped up onto the porch, taking my hand as he led me inside the cabin, grabbing a blanket to wrap around my shoulders before walking back outside to get firewood.

I walked into the kitchen, looking through the cabinets for a few moments, grinning when I found the wine cabinet. I pulled out two glasses and set them off to the side before looking in the fridge, then remembered that the electricity was not kept on, so of course, there would be nothing in the refrigerator.

"What are you doing? Aren't you cold? Come and sit by the fire." Sinclair said, wrapping an arm around my waist, pulling me close.

"I'm not cold, but sure. I wish we brought some of the cider." I said, smiling up at him as I sat on the couch, snuggling against him, watching the fire crackle in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the serenity of the moment. "Life is never going to go back to normal, is it?"

"That depends on what your idea of normal is," He joked softly, then sighed, kissing the top of my head, pulling me against him. "I wish I could say that normalcy is something you'll be seeing anytime soon, but I do not wish to lie to you."

"Aye, but it just seems like too much. That group is always together. How do they spend so much time together with so much drama and gobshite? How do they never want to be alone and spend time with the person they're with?" I said with a sigh, shaking my head. *'I sound like an arsehole now. It's not like I have any problem with them, but they are social people, and I prefer not to be around people. I'm the kind of person to keep to myself, and I can't deal with this lot. I have to talk to them, that's the only way to help me, but I hate being around this many people. It takes all I have to talk to people I don't know, let alone being around a group of terrifying people. Oh, is that what it is? Because they're scary and have powers that are scary? Let's be honest with ourselves here. My power is probably the scariest thing I've ever seen.'*

"Sometimes, I forget how introverted you are, and I apologize. I know you're the type of woman who'd rather be alone reading a book rather than around more than one person at a time. I know that most of the time, you'd rather be wholely alone, in fact." Sinclair commented as he cupped my chin, tilting my head back so I would look up at him. "This group is one who usually works on something together, but now that Edward is taken care of, it should get much smaller."

"Aye, if you say so."

"I promise we will help you through this."

"That's the problem, Sinclair. If I wanted everyone to know about me, I would have posted those videos I took." I gasped, sitting up on the couch so I could watch him as I spoke. "I agreed to help you because when I did, I thought it would be a 'use my abilities, and that was the end of it' type thing. Now it's taken over my feckin life! I haven't even been home when I left it thinking I'd be gone for a few hours."

"You're right, I-" He started to say, his golden eyes darkening as he watched me, but I cut him off with a wave of my hand.

"Aye, you're sorry, and you didn't mean it to happen. I know, you're like a broken record. I should get used to it, I know, because it's not going to change anytime soon." I said, shaking my head, sighing when I realized how I sounded. I stood up and started pacing, biting my lip as I watched the fire. "I'm sorry, I don't know-" I began to say but was cut off as Sinclair stood, pulling me into a hug, pressing my face into his chest.

"Don't apologize, Maeve. I understand." He said, rubbing my back softly, brushing my hair out of my face with a chuckle as he leaned back to look down at me.

"How can you be so kind? So quick to forgive? I always imagined that men like you existed, but I never really thought I'd meet one." I smiled into his chest, shaking my head softly. *'Why is it that I'm so open with him? Anyone else and I can block them out like it's nothing, but with Sinclair, I can't hide how I feel. He's the only one I'll allow to see me cry or show any form of vulnerable emotion in front of.'*

"I didn't think a woman such as yourself could exist. Furthermore, I didn't think I would have found one who'd accept me as her own," Sinclair responded with a slight chuckle, caressing my cheek with his thumb, gazing down into my eyes as if he could find the meaning of life somewhere deep in the recesses of my being. "I know you're afraid of the changes you'll go through, now that you're not only a light fae, anymore. But you're giving that part of you more than it has the right to demand. Feeding into this worry and pain, you have only given more power to what you're afraid of. What you are, does not define who you are, Maeve."

"That may be true for everyone else, but not for me and my kind. You lot can be who you want to be, but fae? We are what our power makes us. Say I'm wrong all you want, but it doesn't make me wrong, Sinclair."

"You truly believe that you have no say in who you become?" He asked me, sitting on the couch, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched me curiously.

"I believe that none of us has a fecking clue what I will become."

"Stop saying what, Maeve. You are not a what. You are a whom." Sinclair growled, his golden eyes narrowing in anger as he watched me, his gaze not leaving me as I walked back into the kitchen to grab the wine and glasses, then sat on the couch next to him.

"I know it doesn't affect either of us, but I like the taste. Shite, there's got to be something good about being old enough to drink," I said as I poured the wine, handing Sinclair a glass before walking to the patio on the right side of the cabin, sitting down on the porch swing. I sipped my wine slowly, staring out into the lake before me, letting my thoughts wander as the swing rocked slowly back and forth.

Sinclair came to sit next to me and remained silent for a while, allowing us to enjoy the sounds of nature around us and the crackling fire in the cabin for a long time before speaking. "If you'll have me, I wish to stand by your side."

"You may change your mind if this new power of mine overpowers my light."

"I will not choose to walk away from you. I know that for a fact. I know you were afraid of me when I told you what I was, but I am not afraid of you or your power."

"I want to start training again, Sinclair. I may not know how to control my power, but I can't let it get the best of me. Gaining back control of my body is likely the first step, plus, I'm curious if anything about me physically has changed."

"In what sense?" Sinclair asked as he turned to look at me curiously.

"Strenght, agility, speed? I don't know, but it's been a while since I could train and months since I was able to train with you. I miss my trainer."

"Your trainer? Is that what I was?" He snorted with a chuckle, raising an eyebrow as he watched me blush, shaking my head before gazing out across the water.

"My boyfriend, my teacher, my trainer, the love of my life. You were a lot of things to me, Sinclair, and despite all of that, I still let my fear get the best of me." I sighed softly, biting my lip as I felt my heart welling up in sadness and hurt, so I decided to change the subject. "I don't know how to explain it, but I feel like there's something I need to be doing."

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't tell you, but there's this pit in my stomach, and the longer it's there, the bigger it gets. It's like a foreboding feeling, like something bad is going to happen. I don't know where, and I don't know when, but there's something nearby, and it's bad."

"How long has it been there? When or where did it start?"

"When we got here. There were three times when it got worse, so I think I know where it is." I said, setting my glass down on the porch, sitting sideways on the bench so I could watch him as we spoke. "Something is hiding in that passage under the stairs, Sinclair, and it's..." I trailed off, trying to find the words to explain what I was feeling, but I came up short each time I tried. The only thing I felt was centuries of pain and misery, but I couldn't figure out how to put that into words, no matter how I tried.

"I felt it, and I've tried finding it, but never could. When you feel it, you feel like you've been imprisoned for centuries, tortured by your inability to die? Like you are longing for something that is so close, yet out of reach?" Sinclair asked, nodding his understanding as I gasped, my eyes going wide in shock as I nodded my agreement. "It's one of the reasons I bought this house. The first time I felt it, it was like a new, but still years old and ebbing pain. As the decades and centuries have gone by, it's only grown older."

"Ciaran and Bast felt it too. That's what they were talking about at the table earlier."

"I know. I could feel Bast's fear the moment she entered that tunnel, and it's only grown worse the longer she's thought about it. I've been trying to find the source of this for decades, Maeve, and I never could."

"This isn't going to make any sense, Sinclair, but some part of me-" I said, cutting myself off as I stood and walked into the cabin to get the bottle of wine, refilling our glasses, setting the bottle on the porch, thinking about what I wanted to say as I did so. "Some part of me, it feels responsible for that pain."

"Maeve, that thing has been there since I was a vampire, ages ago. Long before your time."

"Not personally responsible, but this is going to sound crazy. I think a fae trapped whatever that thing is, and that's why I feel responsible. It's not that I feel personally responsible, but it's like the part of me that connects me to others of my kind, that part feels responsible. Am I making a lick of sense?" I said, groaning when I tried to explain it, but it sounded like nonsensical ramblings the harder I tried.

"I believe I do, yes. As a fae, you are connected to others of your kind, which is how they pulled you into the faeverse. The connection you have with the fae is the part of you that feels responsible for the trapped thing. Do I have that correctly?"

"Aye, bang on," I said with a grin, sitting across his lap, resting my head on his shoulder before closing my eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I can't lie and say I didn't mean it, but I didn't mean it to come out the way it did."

"It's alright, Maeve. I know you didn't. Sometimes our words refuse to come out the way we wish them to, as I've learned time and time again." He chuckled, running his hand up in down my arm softly as he gazed out on the lake, his golden eyes far off in thought as I watched him.

"What are you thinking about?" I finally asked him after a few minutes of silence, watching as his golden eyes fixated on me, holding back the shiver I felt rippling through my being as I looked deep into his eyes. This did not go unnoticed by Sinclair, who narrowed his eyes slightly, then sighed as he looked away. *'He thinks I was wincing from his eye color, but I wasn't. How do I explain to him that it wasn't because of him, but when I saw my reflection? I don't even know how to explain what I saw, as I don't fully understand it.'*

"You're still afraid of me?" He whispered with a small smile, trying and failing to hide the pain I could clearly see. He'd phrased it like a question, but I knew it wasn't, only a confirmation of what he'd seen in my face when he looked at me.

"I'm not afraid of you," I responded with a shake of my head, tilting his head down so he'd look at me, waiting until he did so to smile. "I'm not afraid of you, Sinclair," I repeated, waiting until he nodded his understanding before bringing our lips together, kissing him softly.

"You may not be afraid of me, but you are afraid of what I am," Sinclair said, then stood, holding me in his arms as he walked back into the cabin, setting me down softly on the couch before picking it up and moving it a few feet away from the fire. *'No, I'm afraid of what I am.'*

"I'm afraid of me, Sinclair, not you. What will happen if I touch you, without a glove on? I know you can touch me, but what happens if I get excited?" I gasped, watching him as he moved the couch, then stood in front of me, looking down at me as I began rambling.

"You still have the healing abilities, Maeve. It only happened when you were mad and because you didn't know how to control it yet. I understand that you don't trust yourself, so until you learn to, I will trust you enough for both of us." He said as he kneeled in front of me, keeping his eyes locked on mine as he unbuttoned his vest, tossing it to the side before unbuttoning his shirt. "You won't hurt me," He said as he took my hand between his, ripping the glove off before putting my hand on his chest, showing me that I could touch him without hurting him.

"What if you did get hurt?" I scoffed, watching him as he tossed his shirt to the side, then put his hands down on either side of my head, leaning down, so our faces were inches apart. I wrapped my legs around his hips, scooting down so my back was flat on the couch and he could put some of his weight down on me. I looked down at his chest, watching as I traced a spiral design above his heart, watching as wisps of purple smoke followed my trail, then disappeared as it imprinted on his chest, dissipating as it was absorbed. *'Purple? It's like when I healed that squirrel. Usually, my healing is a yellow hue, like a candle or the sun, but now it's purple? Hmm, I guess being an anodyne isn't like being the same as a fae.'* I thought before tilting my head back to look up at him, gasping out when I saw his eyes were purple, like the color of the smoke, causing my heart to thump menacingly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, furrowing his brows as the purple in his eyes disappeared just like it had on his chest, returning his eyes to their standard shade of gold.

"Your eyes, they were purple, just for a second, though," I said, biting my lip as I ran a finger down his chest, keeping my eyes locked on his as I did so. The moment my purple trail touched his skin, his eyes flashed purple once more, then reverted to golden when the track was gone. *'It's purple, and it looks kind of like smoke, but I have no idea what it is or what it's doing to him. He didn't seem to have any reaction to it, but that doesn't mean it's not doing anything.'*

"Purple? Like the color of your healing power?" He asked me, then readjusted the way he was laying so he could look down at his chest, watching as I traced a heart on his breast, exclaiming softly in surprise when he saw his skin absorb it. "I can feel you were doing that, but I believe that's all you're doing."

"What do you mean? It has to be doing something else. Otherwise, why else would it be purple?"

"As a vampire, our skin becomes somewhat numb. We can feel, but about half as well as we could as humans. So, when I say I can feel you doing that, I mean you're removing the thickness of my skin, allowing me to feel your touch fully."

"Wait, so you're numb to touch? Like, including showers?"

"Yes. If the shower were running nothing but hot water, hot enough to cause burns on your skin, then it would feel hot to me. But water at the temperature in which you shower, it's warm for me." He said, grinning when he saw the look of bewilderment on my face.

I stood and pulled a few candles out of a kitchen drawer, then lit them, setting them up in the bathroom before turning on the shower. After waiting for the water to heat up, I walked back out into the front room, watching Sinclair as he had his back to me, rekindling the fire. I waited until he'd finished and stood, brushing nonexistent dirt off of his pants as he looked back up at me, holding my hand out, offering it to him.

"Candlelight shower?" He mumbled with a smirk as he crossed the room and took my hand, letting me lead him into the bathroom before he put a hand on my waist, turning me to face him as he pressed me against the wall. He smiled as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he bent down, picking me up, so we were face to face, chuckling against my lips before kissing me.

I moved one hand behind his head, tangling my fingers in his hair, while the other I put on his bicep, digging my nails in as I pressed my body against his, gasping against his lips as it felt like a tidal wave of desire washed over me. I could feel it radiating from the tips of my toes to my scalp, like a fire throughout my body. Sinclair growled against my lips, readjusting the way he was holding me before slamming me back into the wall, running his hand up my thigh until we met my waistband, pulling away from me to unbutton my pants. I knew I had to let him go for him to take them off, but the last thing in the world that I wanted was to let him go.

"You'll waste the hot water," He chuckled against my lips, groaning as he pressed his lips back to mine, breathing heavily as he set me down, watching me as I pushed my pants and my panties off.

I couldn't help but blush when I saw the way he was watching me, backstepping towards the shower, tossing my bra on the floor as I turned my back to him, stepping under the hot water, and closing my eyes with a contented sigh. I smiled when I heard him stepping into the shower behind me, putting an arm on the wall in front of me, putting his free hand on my hip before leaning down to kiss my shoulder.

I turned around, so we were facing each other, pulling him to stand under the water, pressing my hand against his chest, watching as small purple vines spread out through his veins. It was like tree roots spreading from my hand throughout his entire body, causing him to gasp, his golden eyes going wide as he looked down at me, grinning.

"Did it work?" I asked, watching as he tilted his head back, letting the water wash over his face with a smile.

"Very much so. I'd forgotten how amazing hot water feels after a long day." He responded, reveling in the feeling of the water for a few more moments before picking me up, pressing me against the wall, tilting the showerhead so the water would wash over both of us.

"Does it still work if I move my hand?" I asked, readjusting how I was resting against him, pulling my hand away from his chest. I didn't need to wait for his response as I watched a purple ripple go through his veins, knowing that it meant the effects had already worn off. *'I wonder why it wears off so quickly? It works for days with my blood, but with my touch on him, it only works for a few seconds?'* I thought, then pushed those thoughts away, putting one hand on the back of his neck, the other on his chest as I leaned into him, bringing our lips back together as he set me down.

"It's my venom. It burns out the effect of your touch, but takes much longer to burn through the effects of your blood," Sinclair said with a chuckle as he put soap on a sponge, leaning down to bring our lips back together as he washed me. I was surprised when I saw that he was only washing me but didn't seem to have any intentions of doing anything more, despite my every desire to do so. "What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong," I said as I took the sponge from him, adding more body wash to it before running it over his chest. "What's this?" I asked, noticing for the first time that there was a scar on the left side of his chest. It was about three inches in length, but I could tell it was an ancient scar. *'It has to be from his human years. I don't think vampires can get new scars, can they? Better yet, why is this the first time I'm seeing it?'*

"The fight that led to me becoming a vampire," He whispered in a tone so soft, I almost didn't hear it. The moment I looked up into his eyes, I wished I could take the question back, as I could see nothing but centuries of pain and misery flashing through his eyes.

After watching him for a moment, I set the sponge back on its shelf and pulled him under the water, putting both of my hands on his chest, watching as he gasped out. I couldn't help but smile when I saw his reaction, knowing that it was something he'd been unable to feel for centuries.

"Oi," I said, trying to get his attention. I waited until he looked down at me before pushing my hair over my left shoulder, exposing my throat to him. "It's okay," I said when I saw his hesitance, tilting my head to the side, gasping out when I felt his fangs sinking into my throat. I didn't know what it was, but something about feeling his fangs sinking into my skin was both a painful yet pleasureful experience. My entire life, I'd been afraid of the stories about vampires, then ended up dating someone that's practically two vampires in one.

"Shit," He whispered against my throat when he pulled back, using the wall behind me as a support as he straightened his back out, letting the water wash my blood from his chin.

"That's not the first word I expected you to say," I said with a giggle, shaking my head as I watched him, smiling when he looked down at me.

"I may have drunken too much." He said as he turned off the water and took two towels out of the closet, wrapping one around his hips before wrapping the second one around me, picking me up and carrying me into the bedroom.

"What do you mean you drank too much?" I asked as he sat me down on the bed, watching him as he chuckled and took one of my hands, setting it on his chest. I gasped out when I realized that I could feel his heartbeat clear as day. "Your hearts beating, isn't that a good thing?"

"If your blood works anything like the potion Lucifer used, I cannot be around you when I revert."

"You realize that witches add things to the potions for the specific purpose to make it hurt?" I asked him, smiling in amusement when I saw the look of bewilderment on his face. "They do it, so no one knows that every other ingredient is bullshit, and the blood is all you need. For the rest of it, literally, the only purpose is to make it painful. I did my research, Sinclair. It will hurt when your heart stops beating again, but without all of the other bullshit, it's going to be like nothing to you."

"Really? Are you sure? I know as a fae, I can't kill you, but that doesn't matter to me. I don't want to hurt you at all." Sinclair asked as he sat on the bed next to me, his gaze inevitably landing on where the towel wrapped around my thighs.

"I'm sure. Why are you scared of having sex with me? I know you wanted to earlier, but you stopped yourself." I asked him as I sat up, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, sitting on his lap, so we were facing each other. *'It seems pretty obvious that he doesn't want to chance me losing control and killing him. It's crazy to know that I would turn him to ash with a single touch if I did. Well, fuck, now I'm too scared to keep touching him.'*

"For that reason, right there," He said, searching my eyes with a slight scoff. "You're terrified, and that terror will be the very reason you lose control." He said, then narrowed his eyes for a moment before grinning.

"Huh?" I asked, then gasped as he threw me back on the bed, putting his hands down on either side of me, holding himself up as he watched me. I started to ask him what he was doing, but that question answered itself as he pulled the towel from under me, throwing it to the side before his lips were on mine, growling with a sensual hunger as he lowered himself between my legs. I tried to sit up so I could kiss him, but he put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me to lay back down before kissing a line from my throat to my breasts. I cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure when he bit down on my nipple much harder than he ever had before, surprising even myself as I didn't expect for it to feel as amazing as it did, with it being as painful as it was.

"The more you move, the worst it will be." He said, then smiled before continuing his descent, pushing my right leg up, caressing at my inner-thigh before nibbling at the same spot. When I jerked from the pain, he rewarded it by sinking his fangs into my inner thigh, clasping his hand over my mouth to muffle my cry of pain. "I warned you, didn't I?"

"How am I not supposed to move when you make it feel delicious and then hurt me?" I gasped but then sighed as I realized what he was saying. "Now, I remember why I hated your training."

"I thought you missed having me as your trainer?" He gasped, putting a hand over his heart, acting as if I'd hurt his feelings, despite both of us knowing that I hadn't.

"I miss the human training we did. Now that I'm not human, you're not very nice." I said, gasping for breath as he chuckled and leaned down, running his tongue along the sides of my clit. I'd never tried to stop myself from moving, mostly when it was the only thing my body wanted to do, but I did everything I could to stop myself, regardless. "I can't, Sinclair!" I cried out, gripping the sheets as he started running his tongue along the sensitive button, moving so slowly it was like torture not to move.

"You can. You just don't have the willpower to do so." He said after pulling back, cocking his head to the side as he watched me. "I must commend you, for you've never been so still, especially when I do such things." He said as he sat down, pulling me onto his lap, positioning himself at my entrance. *'Please tell me he doesn't expect me not to move?'* I thought as he lowered me down, putting my face against his throat, digging my nails into his shoulder to stop myself from crying out as I struggled to accommodate his size.

"Don't," Sinclair said, putting a hand on the back of my throat, turning my head so he could bring our lips together.

"How? It's impossible!" I whimpered as I tried to stop myself from moving but found it increasingly difficult to do so as it was impossible not to grind against him, especially seeing as how he was inside of me. "How do you not move?" I gasped, shifting uncomfortably, whimpering when he held my hips still, blocking me from moving in the slightest.

"I have control, which is something you lack," He chuckled in my ear, using his hands to guide my hips back and forth, pulling out lips back together as he rocked slowly against me. "Drink," He said, running a nail along his throat, tilting his head to the side to offer me his blood. "Don't argue, drink." He growled when I started to refuse. I hesitated for a moment before putting my lips to the wound, then gasped when I tasted his blood. I'd imagined it would be metallic, like humans blood, but it was a mixture of sweet and sensual, making me want to do nothing more than continue to drink endlessly. "You are tasting a combination of our blood. Once you swallow, you'll see why I told you to drink." He said as he laid down on the bed, readjusting to make sure I could still drink before thrusting into me with what felt like all of his strength.

I gasped out as he started thrusting, moaning so softly in my ear it was like he was daring me not to come, holding my hips down, forcing me to take the full force of his movements. He rolled, so he was on top of me, making sure I kept my legs locked around his hips as he leaned down to kiss me, gasping out against my lips. It wasn't until then that I remembered he had a heartbeat and was currently as close to being human that he'd been in centuries. "Don't hold yourself back," I whispered against his lips, almost immediately regretting the words when he put an arm behind my head, placing most of his weight on me as he continued to thrust, his arms keeping me from escaping even a fraction of the almost overwhelming force. I couldn't understand why, but some part of me loved the pain and wanted more of it. By the time I understood why it was already too late as my orgasm was taking over me. I cried out, burying my face in his throat, digging my nails into his shoulder as my climax tore through me, gasping as I felt Sinclair emptying himself inside of me.

"Are you okay?" Sinclair asked after a long few moments, giving us both time to catch our breath.

"I'm supposed to be asking you that," I breathed, pushing him up so I could see how badly I'd hurt him, surprised when he didn't seem to have any wounds on him.

"You already healed me, Maeve." He chuckled, watching me as I inspected his shoulder and back before laying down, pulling me onto his chest.

"What was the point in the staying still thing?" I asked him after a few minutes, narrowing my eyes into a glare.

"If you see that your power is a pain response, you'll understand. Let's say something drops on your foot, you would immediately release some of your dark power, as it is the response you have when you're angered or in pain. I learned that your anger response was before we got in the shower and again a few minutes ago. If you can stop yourself from reacting to pain, you can stop yourself from accidentally using your power."

"Oh, really? What do you mean you learned it before the shower and a few minutes ago?"

"I learned what one of your new abilities are. I don't know what to call them, as it works both ways, but your blood abilities have gotten stronger. I guess I could call it blood control? Yes, that seems a fitting enough name for it." He said, then sighed as he looked down at me, watching me like he was trying to figure out how to explain something to a child without making that child confused or upset. "You know how you can heal with your touch and use your blood to give someone your healing abilities?"

"Aye, of course, I do," I said with a nod, waiting for him to tell me what he was trying to say. I couldn't help but be slightly annoyed by the way he was struggling to verbalize his words. After all, he was acting like I was a child who wouldn't understand.

"Once you've given someone your blood or your healing, it appears you can change it." He said, then sighed, shaking his head softly. "You used your healing touch, and when you got upset that I pulled away, it felt like you'd drove a knife into my chest. After taking your blood, every time I bit you, I felt a stabbing in my heart. Your blood, it took control of my venom. Whenever you get upset or feel pain, you are turning my venom against me, causing it to attack me from the inside."

"Why wouldn't you tell me? I-" I gasped out as I sat up in bed, watching him as he sat up as well, gasping as he clasped a hand over his heart.

"So that you wouldn't panic and do exactly as you're doing now," He struggled out, crying out as the veins throughout his chest and shoulders turned bright purple, like my power had taken over his blood and turned it purple.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to!" I gasped, then closed my eyes, squeezing them closed as I concentrated on healing and light, rather than the pain and anger I was currently feeling. As soon as I saw that it worked, I got out of bed and put my clothes back on, grabbing the flashlight off of the kitchen counter before walking outside. I ignored Sinclair as he called after me, walking towards the wooded portion of his property, not headed anywhere specific, but trying to calm myself down as I walked.

*'I can't believe he wouldn't tell me that I was doing something like that. Just ignoring it and continuing on like everything was normal. How was he even able to do it? I didn't see any pain on his face, and he didn't wince or anything. Even while I was doing all of that to him, he acted like it was nothing and kept going. Is this why he's trying to teach me to stop moving no matter if I felt pleasure or pain? It must be. Hell of a way to learn that lesson, though.'* I thought, then felt and saw nothing but pure, black nothingness for a while. I couldn't tell how long it was, but when I stood and looked around me, I was in the tunnels under Sinclair's house.

*'I just died? Why the hell was I dead?'* I thought as I looked around me, not realizing that I'd walked into a tunnel while wandering around aimlessly. *'What the hell? How did I get into a tunnel? I didn't know there were any tunnel accesses outside.'* I thought as I turned around, hoping to see an exit as I'd just entered the tunnel, but surprised when I found nothing of the sort. There was a sold wall behind me, and nothing more.

*'That's impossible. I just walked in here! Where the hell is the entrance?'* I thought, then bit my lip as I walked forward, further into the tunnel. *'At some point, I should find the doorway to get back into Sinclair's house.'* I told myself as I walked forward, trying to hold back the tears I felt welling up in my eyes. I wasn't crying because I was afraid, and the only thing I could feel now was longing. *'Sinclair said he felt the longing too, so it must be whatever is in these tunnels. I wonder what it's longing for? It could be freedom or revenge for whatever trapped it in here. I wonder what it is? There are quite a few things that could live for centuries without any nourishment. Fae, for example. Vampires and Recreants can survive without feeding, though it's not something I ever want to meet. Witches can, but they still need human food, so I guess it can't be witches. Vampire and recreant are crossed out, too, because they would have gone bat shit mad without blood for this many years. There's no way that a vampire would feel longing right now. It would be nothing but hunger and anger.'*

"An...o...dyne! Come... to... me," A voice hissed from somewhere in the tunnel, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on edge, a shiver going through my core when I heard it. Despite how terrifying it was, something about the voice felt like home, like it was familiar, and I belonged to it.

Despite every fiber of my being telling me not to go towards it, the fae in me won the fight, my feelings of belonging driving me forward, further into the dark depths of the unknown. *'Don't do it, Maeve! Turn around, run far away. Please!'* I begged myself, doing everything I could to force myself into turning around, but it seemed like no matter how hard I tried, the pull I felt was too strong to be deterred. *'That voice, it's making me do whatever it says!'*

"Yesss," The gravelly voice hissed. The closer I got, the more excited the voice became until I felt like I was just on top of it. "Release... me...."

"Please, whatever you're doing to me, stop!" I cried out as I watched my hands start digging into the side of the tunnel, clawing out the surface to get to whatever was on the other side of the wall. Even as I watched, my nails cracked and began to bleed, causing me to wince from the pain. No matter how much it hurt, I still couldn't get myself to stop. I was completely and utterly under the control of the thing on the other side.

"Maeve?" Sinclair called from what sounded like the very end of the tunnel as I could barely hear his voice and likely wouldn't have if it weren't for the echo.

"Sinclair!" I cried out, losing the fight against my tears as I helplessly watched myself clawing through the wall, the unknown force on the other side taking control over my every movement. "Sinclair, get me out of here, now!" I screamed when I saw an opening in the wall, a tidal wave of emotion coming over me as some sort of border was brought down as if the wall was dampening the power of what lay on the other side. If it weren't for the lack of control I had over my body, I'm sure the overwhelming emotions I felt emanating from the small hole in the wall would have knocked me on my ass.

"Maeve, what-" Sinclair started to ask as he ran to my side, stopping when he saw what I was doing, watching wordlessly as I continued to break down the wall as if my very life depended on it.

"NO! Get me out now!" I yelled, gasping for breath as I started to punch the wall, trying to get it to come down entirely, my body wanting nothing more than to get to the other side. It wasn't until Sinclair pulled me into his arms and ran us outside using his recreant speed that I had a single moment of relief. I briefly felt that ease, as the moment Sinclair set me on the ground, I immediately started running towards the tunnels once more. "I can't stop it, Sinclair!" I sobbed as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me against him so I couldn't go back.

"Maeve, what's happened?" Sinclair gasped as he ran back to the cabin, setting me down on the couch, his golden eyes wild as he watched me. "Why were you breaking down that wall?"

"I couldn't control myself," I whimpered, crying into his shoulder as he pulled me back into his arms, trying to console me, but failing as I couldn't stop myself from trying to run back to the tunnels, back to my home.

"You said that you felt a fae responsible for trapping it, right? Now that you've pointed out where it is, we can go down there with Lucifer and Alaric, figure out what it is. We'll go down there and kill it-" He started to say but was cut off as I slapped him across the face.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Sinclair, I don't think a fae trapped him. The closer I got to it, the more it felt like..." I trailed off, not wanting to tell Sinclair that he felt like my home. "He was calling to me. He called me anodyne and told me to come to him. The next thing I knew, my legs were walking forward, and I had no control over it. He told me to release him, and I couldn't stop myself from trying to tear down that wall."

"That thing, the connection you feel to it is only growing stronger. You slapped me when I said I wanted to kill it, so it must still have control over your body. I will fetch Lucifer and Alaric. We cannot allow something like this to remain." Sinclair said with a growl as he jumped to his feet and moved towards the door.

"No, Sinclair, please!" I cried out as I ran after him, grabbing his hand to try and pull him away from the door.

"Why? Because the thing is making you save it? I will not allow such a thing to happen, Maeve. If I must kill it to free you, I will." He snarled as he whipped around to face me, his golden eyes brown and quickly turning black as he glared down at me, the anger in his eyes only growing as I began to cry again.

"The thing, in the tunnels-" I gasped, trying to catch my breath through my tears, shaking my head as I used my sleeve to dry my cheeks. "It's my maker, Sinclair. I don't know how I know, but whatever that thing is... It's my home. I come from that thing, somehow, and someway. I think- I think it's the original fae. You can't kill it, Sinclair, please!"