Chapter 257: Caleb
The Alpha suite was quiet. The day had been quiet with everyone gone, and now, even though they were back, things were quiet again. Nobody had said much, and the mood was heavy. Sammy and I had watched a movie in our family room. Iris and Michael had joined us for a while, but they seemed to be a little more distracted than usual. Iris had hardly even complained about the movie at all.
Now it was early morning, and I couldn’t sleep. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control, and I felt out of control. Before, when I had felt like this, I would go and drink myself stupid, but I had a little girl to take care of now. I had made more than my fair share of mistakes, but Sammy had made me see the light, and I owed her everything, including my sobriety. I never wanted to see disappointment cross her face because of me.
“Caleb?” Mom called out softly as she entered the kitchen.
She had been on something since her return. She had always been ultra organized, and a little uptight, but since her return, it had been tenfold what it used to be. She had taken everything to a whole new level, and there was a coldness about her that I didn’t remember existing before.
“Hi Mom,” I said with a sigh. “Did you sleep well?”
She shook her head tiredly, and for the first time in a while I saw her without her make-up. Her eyes had dark circles and bags under them, and she had this greyish look to her.
“Are you okay?” I asked, my worry for her creeping in.
“I don’t sleep well anymore.” She answered with a shrug. “I haven’t since your dad died.”
I hated that she had had to live through that. I remembered how I had felt when my first mate died. She had broken me in more ways than I had ever dreamed possible. And when Sammy’s mom died, it took all I had not to spiral again. I hadn’t loved her, not like I should have, and yet, I remembered how hard I had to fight not to drink. I had to be stable for my Sammy. She needed me. She still needs me. She’s the reason I hadn’t given up yet, even though most days, I kinda wanted to. And I wondered if my mom felt the same way on some level.
“I understand.” I told her, placing a coffee cup in front of her, and squeezed her hand gently. She had been the only one who used to see me as myself when we were younger. As much as I know people tried, I was never right to be Alpha King. I was wild and free. I was seen as the fuck up from a young age, but mom saw me differently. She just saw me as me. I wasn’t a failure. I wasn’t a fuck-up. I was just her Caleb. And now, I think I was the only one who saw her as broken right now, and that wasn’t something I could fix.
“When did everything get this hard, Cal?” She asked.
“It’s not supposed to be this hard, Mom.” I told her gently. “We just have to find the things that get us through the day, and the pain never really goes away, but it learns to exist with the happy. It stops feeling like such a fight, and it just becomes a piece of us that we will always carry. It stops being so heavy and just exists within us.”
“When did you get so wise?” She gave me a small sad smile, and I returned it.
I felt bad that she was feeling everything so heavily, but that was what life was like. We both just sat there as the rest of the world woke up. I wanted Sammy to get to know her Grandma, but not the mean lady that had been around lately. I wanted her to know the woman that raised me. The one who had been beloved by her people. The one who knew her own power and didn’t abuse it. And maybe she would start being that.
When everyone was finally up, I headed to the office, Mom at my heels. I didn’t think really wanted her that after her comments to Grace and Maizie lately, but she didn’t really give us an opportunity to say no. We knew the Vampires weren’t going to be up yet, and Maizie’s mother tended to sleep in late, so we were at least good on that point.
By the time I finally got there, Maizie and Michael were in their usual places on the floor, joined by Iris, who I was a little surprised to see. She seemed to be a bit of a liability, but maybe they all knew something I didn’t. Grace was sitting on Rhys’ desk and Rhys was leaning against it as they whispered about something, which again, in my opinion was pretty bold considering that they were in a room full of werewolves and lycans who could easily hear the conversation if they wanted to. I just tuned them out, and nodded to Sawyer, who’s chair was right next to Maizie, and Heather and Leon, the latter of just glared at me a little. I didn’t blame him. I had nearly ruined his marriage. I deserved so much more than an angry glare.
I gave my mom my usual seat, and took a spot on the wall near where Alana liked to sit by the door. She wasn’t here yet, but I hoped she would be. She usually attended, but I didn’t know with everything going on in the house lately, if that would change.
“Sorry, I’m late.” She exclaimed as she walked in the room.
It was hard to breathe. Even in her uniform, she looked gorgeous. I couldn’t believe the longing I had for her. I didn’t want to get in her way if she had a mate, but every day, it got harder and harder to stay away from her.
“We were just getting started,” Rhys reassured her.
I gave her a small smile as she took her seat, and I leaned slightly into her as Rhys began to talk. He was begging mom for an information she had on Lycans, but it was the same. She hadn’t heard of them at all. Alana nervously began playing with my hair, and I almost melted. This meeting was doing what most had lately, just going in a circle. Nobody has any knew information. So, we start talking about plans to infiltrate their pack.
“Well, what about the Pyxis?” Alana asked hesitantly. “Do we know where they might be keeping one?”
“No,” Rhys answered with a frown.
Grace’s brows furrowed and she reached for small Pyxis.
“CHOSEN ONE!” The box screamed before rattling to the floor.
Nobody moved for a long moment before Grace looked at Rhys and said, “We are definitely getting married.”