Chapter 113: Grace
I woke up to my body aching in the worst ways. Last night had been incredible. I was engaged. My mate loved me. He loved me enough to take me on vacation and on dates. He loved me enough to want to see me grow. He wanted me to grow alongside him... He loved me. And that was enough for me to think the pain was worth it.
“Good morning,” Rhys’ husky voice greeted me.
I was tucked tightly in his arms, pulled tightly against his chest. We hadn’t moved very far from where we had started last night, having fallen asleep on the cushions after the most amazing night of my life.
I really wasn’t sure what had come over me, but Rhys had been so kind. So understanding. So everything that I needed. I had wanted to give back some of what he had given me. And it was the most incredible experience. For the first time I think ever, I had felt free. I wasn’t worried that he was going to judge me. I wasn’t worried that he was going to leave me for doing something wrong. He was mine, and nothing I could do would chase him away, and that was something I never thought I’d ever experience.
I mean, I was still sort of on the edge. I didn’t necessarily trust myself in all of this, but Rhys had a lot of faith in me. And for now, that would be enough.
“Sleep well?” He asked.
I nodded against him. I didn’t want to talk yet. I just wanted to soak in this moment, and Rhys seemed to realize that, and let me have it... At least for a few more minutes.
After about 10 minutes, I could feel through the bond that Rhys was beginning to feel impatient, so I rolled to face him, my eyes meeting his beautiful green ones.
“Are you ready to talk now?” He asked with a slight smirk.
“If I must,” I answered playfully.
I loved the banter that now seemed to exist for us and had for the last few weeks. I had never been in love before, but my god I loved him, and it only seemed to grow every day.
He kissed my forehead gently, and I closed my eyes at the intimacy, realizing that there were many different layers to it.
“What’s the plan today?” I asked, hoping we could have a bit of a repeat of yesterday evening, though I was sure nothing could ever top it.
“Well,” He answered, pulling away a little so he could look me in the eye a little more comfortably. “This isn’t just a vacation... We do have a purpose.”
“I figured,” I told him honestly. He was so predictable in this sense. “And what exactly is our purpose today?”
He hesitated for a moment before deciding to be honest with me. “I want to free your Lycan.”
“You want to what?” I asked, feeling completely flabbergasted.
“I want to free your Lycan. And I want to try it from the most natural ways first, and then if we can’t, the witch, Sandra, will meet with us, and we’ll try a different method.
“That’s ludicrous.” I said bluntly. “You want to free my beast?”
“Yes, in a controlled, people free, no pressure environment.” He answered as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
“There’s no such thing,” I muttered under my breath.
He just lifted my chin and pecked my lips.
“Do you think Maizie or Michael or any of the kids are monsters?”
“Of course not,” I answered a little fiercer than I intended.
“Well then, what makes you different, Grace? You can’t keep running from this. And I think you will be safer if you can shift to protect yourself. Your self-defense has gotten much better, but in a fight with a Lycan or a hybrid, it won’t help you, and you know this.”
I rolled my eyes, but he was right. However, that Lycan inside scared me. The one and only time I had ever truly felt it was when she yelled at me to attack. She had been out for blood, and perhaps, it had been called for. Perhaps she had been protecting me. But I could still see my half-shifted arm reaching into his chest and squeezing his heart with my claws. I could still see the blood dripping off my fur, and the way it wouldn’t shift back until Caleb had walked me through my half shift back.
The worst part about the whole thing had been the anger. I knew I wasn’t angry enough about the things that had happened to me. But that piece of me? It was angry. It was angry and ready to seek revenge no matter what the cost, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that yet. I might have accepted a lot of changes in the last few weeks, but I don’t think I would ever be ready to be a blood thirsty monster.
“Grace,” Rhys pulled my attention back to him. I could feel him just at the edge of our bond. “You are whatever you decide to be. If you want to be a blood thirsty monster, I support you, but only if that’s what you want.”
“I don’t want to be a blood thirsty monster!” The words tumbled out of my mouth before he had even finished his sentence.
“Then don’t be.” He said simply.
“It’s not that simple, Rhys.”
“Why not?”
“Because I know nothing about this part of me! What if I have no control over it?”
“Did you see any of the kids lose control of their Lycan yet?” He asked gently.
“Well, no.”
“So why would you?”
“Because I don’t know...” The words came out barely a whisper.
“I understand you’re scared, Gracie, and I get it, especially after what happened last time, but you have been working so hard to become better, this is the next step for you. Don’t give up on yourself now.”
He sounded like he genuinely believed what he was saying, and his eyes shined with belief in me, that I found myself agreeing to try. I just didn’t have the same belief in myself that he did...