Chapter 306: Endless Solitude
“Don’t go out. It’s cold outside. You should also change out of those wet clothes,” Alison said.
Gabriel dragged on his cigarette but didn’t move.
He stood still, his back to her, waiting for her to change.
Alison blushed. She quickly changed and wrapped herself in a blanket.
“It’s your turn, Gabriel,” she said, urging him to change.
She turned away to give him space.
He changed into dry clothes swiftly. As he pulled the T-shirt over his head, he murmured, “All set.”
When she turned back around, he had already grabbed a glass, poured a measure of liquor, and handed it to her.
“It’ll warm you up,” he said.
“Gabriel, I knew you weren’t the cold type. Can we just talk?” She took the drink he offered, holding it between her palms, afraid she might do something irrational.
“Go ahead.”
The moment those words left his lips, Alison smiled happily. She lightly touched his sleeve as they sat down together on the floor, leaning against the bed frame.
She whispered, “Gabriel, you remind me of someone.”
“Really? Just like you and Emily?”
“Hmm, not quite that much, but you share many similarities with him.”
“Is that the man named Jack?” he asked.
“Yes, you guessed it. Jack was my husband. I loved him deeply. But…” She trailed off, unsure how to continue.
“He’s dead, isn’t he?” Gabriel stated bluntly.
The word dead made Alison shudder. She turned to him and shook his shoulders. “No, don’t say that! He’s not dead! It couldn’t be. Gabriel, I feel like he’s always been here with me.”
“Alison, you’re too prone to fantasy. Is that why you see me as him? I don’t like being someone’s substitute,” he said casually. Then, he lit another cigarette.
“Huh, you don’t like being a substitute either?” she asked softly.
“Nobody does,” he replied.
She gave a self-deprecating smile and turned to look at him; the cigarette smoke softened the sharp lines of his face.
“Yeah, I don’t like it either. I was someone else’s substitute for three months. Oh, and you know that woman, too.”
The moment she finished speaking, his hand twitched, scattering the smoke.
“Since you don’t like it, don’t treat me like a substitute.”
“Hey, aren’t you curious who she was?” she laughed.
“Who?” he asked. His tone was unruffled, since it had nothing to do with him.
“Emily.” She answered quickly, but he showed no reaction.
“Gabriel, do you like Emily? But I advise you to stay away from her. She’ll only hurt you.” She added.
“Oh, Emmy, is it?” he said.
“Don’t call her Emmy!” Hearing him use that name made her stomach twist. It brought back the memory of Jack murmuring Emily’s name in his sleep on the rooftop.
“Heh…” Gabriel chuckled and shrugged. “In the Polar Bear Alliance, almost every man calls her that. What’s so strange about it? If I called her Emily, that would be weird.”
“Are you close with her?” She watched him through the smoke, wishing she could peek inside his mind to see what he was thinking.
“Not bad, I guess. Lately, I’ve been paired with her on all my assignments.” He smiled faintly.
“The truth is, this is just a beauty trap set by Matthew Bruce. He’s testing me.” His gaze grew distant as he spoke, lost in thought.
His words stirred something within Alison. It was clear he wasn’t happy in that life.
“Gabriel, maybe the Polar Bear Alliance isn’t the life you want. Leave. You’ll find this world warmer.”
In that moment, she forgot about using Gabriel to get close to Matthew. I just want him to be free. Happy.
“Hah. Where would be my shelter? I have been to prison.” He picked up the bottle and downed most of it in one gulp.
Perhaps fueled by the alcohol, he finally opened up to her — a small step forward.
“Gabriel, why don’t you come work at my company?”
“No.” He reverted to his usual coldness, pushing her away.
“Wouldn’t a proper job be better? At least better than being in the Polar Bear Alliance. Why don’t you kick the habit and live like a normal person?”
“Can I?” He downed another gulp, and soon the bottle was empty.
“You can. Trust me.” She turned and gripped his arm tightly. “Absolutely, I believe in you.”
“But I—” He managed only two words before his entire body began to shake — the craving hit him.
He stood up without hesitation, opened a drawer, and took out a syringe.
Alison watched helplessly as he slowly injected it into his body.
He leaned back comfortably on the bed, clearly in bliss.
She shook his shoulders and asked, “Gabriel, you haven’t been using for long, have you?”
He gently grasped her hand and said, “Shh, don’t talk.”
“Hey, Gabriel, stop doing this. You’ll ruin your life.” She almost shouted.
His state filled her with worry and sadness. We’re not even close, but why does it hurt so much to see him like this?
He didn’t respond, lost in the drug’s haze.
After a moment, he murmured, “This stuff… I can only touch it once every two days.”