Chapter 46

Night falls as I continue sitting out on the patio with the guys, hearing their first-time stories. I’m shocked and honestly mildly concerned about Jasper’s, seeing as he remained that dedicated to saving himself for his teacher. I can only imagine how a therapist would interpret that kind of behavior. Heck, I can only imagine how our kid will turn out if she has even a pinch of Jasper’s determination.

“So, Harper, your turn.” I turn slightly in his lap as he throws his head back, groaning in despair.

“Do I have to?”

“Yes! Tell me. It can’t be that bad.”

I hear Jasper snort, and I have a feeling that it is that bad.

“Okay, fine. I lost my virginity when I was 16 to a senior girl who was about to head off to college. She’d had a thing for me since we’d taken advanced classes together. Well, we went to her parent’s lake house, and things started getting hot in her bedroom. Clothes came off, and as I was putting the condom on, I swore I heard something, but she brushed it off. We keep going, and we were finally doing the deed. It felt fucking amazing. She was calling my name and I was about to bust when three cops bust into the room. They put guns and flashlights in our faces. She screamed and I jumped up with nothing on, dick swinging in the wind, trying not to get shot.”

Behind me, Jasper can no longer hold it in and doubles over laughing. I let out a small giggle, trying to hold in the amount of laughter built up from this story.

“That sounds horrific! Why were the cops there?”

“Apparently, she forgot about the silent alarm.” Harper shrugs, and I lean into him, laughing so much that my stomach hurts.

“You should’ve seen mom’s face when the cops dropped him off,” Jasper adds, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

“I thought she was going to kill me. I did get grounded for a month, though. I never was able to say goodbye to the girl, and we never spoke again.”

“Until,” Jasper mumbles.

“Dammit, Jas, can you stop butting in!?” Harper throws a beer top at Jasper, barely hitting him.

“You saw her again? When?” I question.

“At our high school reunion a few years back. It was awkward, but after a few drinks, I fucked her in one of the classrooms. It made up for the horrible first time.”

“Christ. I’m glad my first time was pleasant.” I beam at the both of them as they laugh.

“Yes, by the time you came along, we knew what we were doing.” Jasper comes over. He gently grabs the back of my neck, and when I look up at him, he kisses me.

“I should’ve saved myself for you,” he teases.

He kisses me again, this time deeper than before. I open my mouth for him, and his warm tongue circles around mine. I moan softly, stretching my neck up to take more of his mouth. On my neck, I feel Harper’s tongue sweep across my skin, sending a chill through me. Harper’s large hand slides over my belly before gripping my breast, pinching my nipple between his fingers. The sensation shoots right between my legs, causing my core to clench and pulse with need. I palm Jasper’s belt, pulling it loose before popping the button open. With my other hand, I do the same to Harper’s pants, wanting them both right now. I have to move my leg to free Harper from the restraints of his pants. I pull him loose and he’s already stiff as ever.

Jasper pulls his length free, and I take him in my mouth as Harper pushes my leggings down just enough.

“Sit on me, baby,” Harper whispers into my ear.

I lift myself from his lap, feeling him press the head of his cock at my entrance. I’m focusing on Jasper in my mouth, prompting Harper to take control, gripping my hips and pulling me down onto his length. When he fills me, I let Jasper fall from my mouth as I yell out. Having him inside of me after all this time is an amazing feeling. So amazing that I come after a few seconds of bouncing on his member.

Taking both of my guys together is something I’ve missed so much. I hate that I’m going to lose this, but I’m going to enjoy it while I can.

It doesn’t take long for either of the guys to fall apart. Harper comes deep inside of me, and Jasper releases in my mouth and on my chin. For a moment, we catch our breaths and try to compose ourselves. Jasper redoes his pants before rushing back to the grill to tend to the burgers. Harper does the same, only he goes to the cooler for another beer. Since I’m the one with the mess on and inside of me, I excuse myself to go take a quick shower before dinner. I feel euphoric and relaxed after what took place out on the patio. I enjoy moments like these. They are raw and memorable.

I take a long shower before getting out and throwing on a pair of shorts and a sports bra. I throw my half-dry hair into a French braid before heading back down. I get downstairs, and dinner is done. The guys are heading inside with the last of the burgers from the grill. I take the liberty of piling a burger, mac and cheese, and corn on the cob onto my plate, what with my long day of shopping and the sex. While the guys get to drink beer, I get a bottle of water to keep myself hydrated.

Outside around the firepit, we eat our dinner, laughing and talking about everything and nothing. I joke with the guys about their first-time stories, feeling grateful that I had waited. I didn’t necessarily save myself for them, but I’m glad they were my firsts. I would be sad if I'd wasted my virginity on a nonmemorable moment. The guys have good stories that they can talk about, and so do I.

I still remember it like it was yesterday, them taking me for the first time. It was scary and delicious. They helped me learn so much about my sexuality and myself in general. Things are changing so fast, and I don’t think I’m ready.

“Eden, something wrong?” Jasper asks, noticing how spaced out I am.

“I’m fine. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“How much everything is changing. It’s all going so fast, and I don’t think I can keep up. I’m about to have a baby. Harper is about to leave. It’s like I’m losing one person and gaining another to fill the void. I’m going to miss Harper so much.”

“And I’m going to miss you too, sweet girl, but it’s not like you’re never going to see me again. I’m going to visit for the holidays, and I’ll stick around a bit for the baby. I’m not going across the world.”

“I know. You two are all I’ve known for a long time. The moment I met you two, it was like magic in my heart. I never wanted to lose either of you. I still don’t.” I take a deep breath, looking at the two most handsome men I’ve ever seen.

“Eden, all change isn’t bad. Yeah, Harper is going away, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of us. Our baby will know how much we all care for each other, even if it’s not the same as it is now. No one’s feelings are going to change. We both love you so profoundly that you make us whole. One day, Harper might meet someone, but they’ll never replace his feelings for you. I don’t want my brother to leave either, but I know he loves me all the same two hundred feet away or two thousand miles away. Distance changes some things, but not all.”

Jasper’s words make me tear up as I bite into my burger, too hungry to neglect the food on my plate.

“The poor girl is so emotional that she doesn’t know if she’s too hungry to cry or too sad to eat,” Harper teases as I laugh, shaking my head.

We all laugh, lightening the mood as Harper moves next to me.

“I know when I left the first time, you were hurt, but this isn’t like that. I’m leaving for my career. It has nothing to do with my love for you, Eden.”

“I know.”

Do I? Do I really know that this is different than the first time? When Harper leaves, he’ll be free to date or sleep with anyone he wants. I’ll no longer be at the front of his mind. He’s going to bring a lucky girl home one day, and I won’t be able to talk to him or kiss him the way I want. As much as he’s saying his feelings won’t change, I know they will. It’s inevitable. When he meets that special girl, his feelings for me will be a thing of the past. We will love each other, but he will love her more.