Chapter 44

I try not to let the thought of Harper leaving soon put me in a bad mood. It just tears me up knowing that I won’t see him for a long time. I’m going to miss him more than I could ever say. Unlike myself, though, the guys don’t seem to be bothered by the fact. I guess they are better at this than me. I’m sure there were times in their lives when they were apart, so they are used to it. Not me. I’m far from getting used to it.

Instead of expressing this, I decide to keep to myself. I don’t want to ruin all the good moments we have left by fretting about the impending outcome. It’s going to take some time, but I’ll get used to it. In the meantime, I cherish all my moments with Harper. I cuddle with him in the mornings before his physical therapy and eat lunch with him before going to work. Whenever Harper wants my time, he gets it. That’s his love language. The only thing he wants is your time. I wish I would’ve known that back when he felt pushed out of our arrangement. I would’ve done more to make him feel secure in our relationship. At the same time, Harper wasn’t expressing his emotions back then, so I didn’t know he was struggling. He was unsure of his place, and no one was there for him. I tried, but I could’ve tried harder.

Rolling out of bed in the late morning, I shuffle to the bathroom to find Jasper brushing his teeth.

“You’re still here?” I ask, rubbing my eyes, expecting him to be halfway to work by now.

“Yeah, I slept in a bit. I’ve been tired as fuck dealing with work.”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing bad. We’re getting the New York location together, and I have to make sure they have everything they need to transition. I basically have to copy and paste the company there. It’s harder than I anticipated, but it’s coming along.”

“That’s good. Harper told me there’s a meeting to prep him to be there.”

Standing in front of me, Jasper looks at me in the mirror, questioning me with his eyes.

“How are you taking it all?”

I shrug.

“I’m sad about it. I’m going to miss him, but Harper deserves this opportunity. It’ll be good for him to branch out and be his own person.” I nod, reciting the practiced lines I’ve put together in my head.

“Yes. Harper is a great leader. He just needs the chance to show that side of him. He’s always been stuck at my side or in my shadow. I’m glad to see him grow into his own person. I know you’re going to miss him a lot. A year will fly by.”

“Okay, but what if after a year he doesn’t want to come back? What if he likes it there too much or meets someone?”

“Then you’ll be happy for him and know that he’ll always love you. That’s all you can do. Everything can’t stay the same forever, Eden.”

“I wish it could,” I sigh, leaning against Jasper’s back, wrapping my arms around him.

“I know, baby. Maybe you should stay home today and spend some time with Harper. He’d like that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.” He smiles.

When Jasper heads out, I take a quick shower before pulling on a pair of leggings and a sports bra and heading down for breakfast. I listen in on Harper’s therapy as I make myself some pancakes. I’ve had pancakes every day for a week. A few of those days, I’ve eaten them for dinner too. They're all I’ve wanted lately. I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up hating pancakes eventually.

I’ve been feeling more flutters from the baby lately, and they're so exciting. You can’t feel a lot from the outside, but it feels like she’s twisting and turning in my belly. Sometimes it catches me off guard and I jump, telling the guys about it every time. Jasper even requires me to tell him when it happens. Knowing that he’s so excited about the baby makes my heart full. The moment he feels the baby kick, he’s going to lose his mind.

Instead of eating at the table, I stand at the island as Harper and his therapist come out of the gym. I listen in as she tells him that he’s getting a lot better at extending his body. In the beginning, it pained Harper just to stretch, and now, he’s doing a lot more during his sessions. He thanks her, but then there is a long silence. I listen in, but I don’t hear anything.

It isn’t until the two of them walk out, smiling and looking at each other, that it hits me. I tell the therapist bye, and the moment she’s out the door, I gawk at Harper.

“What?”

“You two are totally into each other. Did you kiss her?”

“Why would you think that?” Harper’s cheeks redden a bit, and I know it has nothing to do with the workout.

“You two were talking and then there was silence. A lot of silence. You kissed, didn’t you!?”

“No! We made eye contact and it was tense. She has a thing for me.” He gives me a wink, but I’m not buying it.

“You have a thing for her too. She spends a lot of time here now. I can see how feelings might develop.”

“There are no feelings, and if there were, nothing would happen anyway. I’m leaving soon, so starting anything with anyone would be pointless.”

“If you say so. I think she’s hot, though. Her ass is amazing.”

“Don’t I know it.” Harper shakes his head, plating the extra pancakes that I made.

The thought of him having feelings for Lauren, his therapist, is comical and adorable. He spent the first week making lewd comments about wanting her to sit on his face, and now he’s being secretive. There’s something there.

“So, what’s she like? Funny? Witty? Snarky?”

“She’s funny and smart. I like that she doesn’t cut me any slack during our sessions. She calls me out on my shit. If I can be honest, I like that she isn’t you or Jasper.”

I raise an eyebrow, feeling a pang of hurt in my gut, but I know he doesn’t mean it the way I’m interpreting it.

“Explain.”

Harper smirks, nudging my shoulder with his.

“It’s not what you think. I like that I’m getting to know Lauren as me. You and Jasper know everything about me; she doesn’t. It’s exciting to have someone get to know me from the start.”

“Like the beginning of a relationship?”

“I guess, but without the relationship. I already told her that I’m leaving in a few months.”

“How’d she take it?”

“She took it fine. I’m sure I’m not the first client she’s developed feelings for. It’s inevitable when working so close to people. I don’t put too much thought into it.” He shrugs, but I know it’s all a lie.

He likes her a lot but is telling himself that it’s nothing to save his own feelings. I know Harper doesn’t want to get hurt, but he has to put himself out there if he’s going to live a good life on his own. The last thing I want is for him to be in New York feeling completely alone.

It’s all going to be a lot to accept once he’s gone. I have a hunch that it will be more of an adjustment for me than either of the guys. I’ve grown used to having Harper around, and even when he was gone for a short time, I always knew he was there. Now, he’s really leaving. I won’t be able to walk into his room on a whim or make out with him. How does a girl who’s used to having two men in her life accept that one is leaving? Not to say that I won’t be satisfied with only Jasper, because I will, but I’ll miss Harper with all my heart.

As fast as things are changing, it’s time for me to see this for what it is. People can’t stay in the same situation forever. We all have to grow and branch out to see what life has to offer. Jasper and I are starting a family, and it would be selfish to try to keep Harper here when his heart is clearly longing for more.