Chapter 40

When I’m finally allowed to see Quinn, she has a bandage on her head and her eyes are closed. There are bruises here and there on her body, but the nurse says she’s okay. I think about leaving her be, but when I take a step back, her eyes open.

“Eden.”

“Hey. If you’re tired, I can come back later.”

“No, it’s fine. Come in.”

I pull up a chair and sit next to the bed. Quinn sits up a little, cringing when the pain gets the best of her. It takes her a few moments to get comfortable.

“Thank you for staying. You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to. You were in a wreck. We may be on bad terms, but I’m not evil.”

She nods softly, and her hands land on her stomach. She stares down at it for a moment and tears come to her eyes, mine too. You see, Quinn is fine, but she ended up having a miscarriage. When the nurse told me, it broke my heart and I couldn’t help but take a moment to sob in the hallway before coming in here. I wish I could’ve been in the room to hold her hand when the doctor told her. I hate the fact that she sat here alone, hearing the worst news ever.

“I’m so sorry, Quinn.”

“You know, I had almost convinced myself that I wanted this baby.” She covers her face with her hands, crying.

I get up and pull her into a hug. She allows herself to cry for a while before calming down enough to drink some water and eat a little. She tells me that when she found out about the pregnancy, she hoped to have a miscarriage. Then, as days turned into weeks, the thought of being a mother started to grow on her, especially when she saw me. She said that I inspired her to be better. She gives me far too much credit, but I don’t try to disagree. I’ve always tried to be a good influence on Quinn. I’m one of the few people who saw her potential before the drugs completely took over.

I sit with Quinn for a while before her parents finally show up. I expect them to be their usual nonchalant selves, but when Quinn’s mother comes in, tears running down her face, I know this is different. Her mother pulls Quinn in.

“My baby. I’m so happy you’re okay.” Her voice cracks.

“I lost the baby, Mom. I lost it,” Quinn cries.

“It’s okay, sweetie. You’re going to get through this. We’re here for you.”

When I look over at Quinn’s dad, his eyes are red, but he’s trying to remain composed.

Wanting to give Quinn time alone with her family, I say goodbye before heading down to the lobby. When I get there, the guys are waiting where I left them, by the vending machine, with little piles of snack wrappers in their laps.

“Hey, I’m ready to go.”

“How’s Quinn? We saw her parents come in,” Jasper asks.

“She’ll be okay. It’s going to take some time.”

They both get up and follow as I head to my car. I’m glad that I’m driving myself home because I really don’t feel like talking about it. I want silence. I need to decompress from today, and I can’t do that with two worried men in the car with me. They can ask me as many questions as they want when I get home.

On the way there, I stop at the store and grab some snacks because I’m surely going to eat my feelings tonight and regret it in the morning. Today was beyond stressful and didn’t end the way I’d hoped. I feel for Quinn more than anything, though. She deserved a chance to have her baby. I could tell that the thought of being a mom was her beacon of hope. I do hope this doesn’t set her back on her progress. I know if it were me, I’d be devastated.

I pull into the driveway, and the guys are already home. The moment I get inside, they both step out of the kitchen, giving me somber looks.

“How are you, babe?” Harper asks.

“I’m fine. Just sad for Quinn.”

“We are too. No one deserves that.”

“Yeah. I think I’m going to shower and get in bed.” I hand Harper my snacks to put away.

“Okay, baby. I’ll bring you some dinner,” Jasper says, kissing my forehead.

Nodding, I head upstairs, ready to be out of these clothes and in the comfort of my bed. I wasn’t expecting today to be as long as it was. It definitely took a lot out of me. I begin to feel sleepy in the shower, and I don’t know if I’m going to stay awake long enough to eat dinner.

Thankfully, by the time I get out, Jasper is coming in with a tray, a plate of spaghetti on top.

“Oh, yes,” I sigh, climbing in bed so I can put the tray down. As soon as Jasper does, I dig in.

While I eat, Jasper hangs around the room, talking to me about some interesting things at work to occupy my mind. He knows I don’t care for business talk, but he knows I’ll listen. He briefly mentions the New York situation and moves on just as fast. None of us have talked about Harper leaving. We’re choosing to focus on his recovery instead. I know he’ll have to leave eventually, so there’s no reason to dwell on the inevitable. I don’t want to think about how much I’m going to miss him, but I want him to do well there. I don’t want him always wishing he were here. He needs to make a life for himself that has nothing to do with Jasper or me. He deserves that. He deserves love. He’ll never get that staying here. Harper will always choose me, and I don’t want to be the reason he never finds someone special.

I know Jasper feels the same.

Once I’m done eating, Jasper sets my plate to the side and gives me extra kisses, telling me how much he loves me. He also spends a few moments rubbing my tummy and talking to the baby as I doze off. I’m half asleep when I feel him kiss my stomach before pulling the covers over me, kissing my forehead one last time.

As I’m lying in the dark, falling asleep, I put my hand over my stomach, asking the universe to protect my baby and me. After today, I want to be cautious, but I know I can’t live my life like that. I can’t overly protect myself or my baby. Bad things happen whether we’re ready or not. Might as well deal with whatever comes my way. But I can say that I’ll do whatever I can to protect my child from the pains of the world. The heartbreaks and disappointments are inevitable, but I’ll still do my best. This baby is my life.

I fall asleep rather quickly, but when I wake up, it’s still dark. I glance at my phone, seeing that it’s almost midnight. Sliding out of bed, I go downstairs and find Jasper in his office, typing.

“Hey, it’s getting late and I want cuddles.” I walk behind his desk, sitting on his lap.

Jasper wraps his arms around me, sighing.

“I wish I could. I have so much to do for this presentation in two days. I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay. Work is work. I hope you get it done. Don’t stress too much,” I say, kissing the side of his head before getting up.

“Goodnight, love.”

“Night, I’m going to go sleep with Harper.”

“He’ll love that.” Jasper lets out a little chuckle as I make my way back upstairs. At Harper’s door, I knock softly, but he doesn’t answer. I crack the door slightly to find him sleeping on his side. Slowly, I slip in, tiptoeing to his bed. I manage to sneak into the bed without waking him, or so I think. As soon as I throw the covers over me, Harper’s arm comes around me, pulling me back against him.

“Jasper working late?” he mumbles.

“Yeah, and I want cuddles.”

“Cuddle away, babe,” he says before going back to sleep.

I adjust a few times before finding the perfect position against Harper’s body. Minutes later, I’m sleeping. Cuddling with Harper is one of the things I’m going to miss the most when he leaves for New York.